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एक भैंस घबराई हुई जंगल मे भागी जा रही थी
एक चूहे ने पूछा : क्या हुआ बहन कहाँ भागे जा रही हो?
भैंस : जंगल मे पुलिस हाथी पकडने आई हें
चूहा : पर तुम क्यों भाग रहीं हो तुम तो भेंस हो?
भेंस : ये भारत हें भाई !
पकडे गये तो 20 साल तो अदालत मे ये सिद्ध करने मे ही लग जायेंगे कि
“मैं हाथी नही भेंस हूँ ”
“OMG” यह सुन भेंस के साथ चूहा भी भागने लगा
960 
एक भैंस घबराई हुई जंगल मे भागी जा रही थी
एक चूहे ने पूछा : क्या हुआ बहन कहाँ भागे जा रही हो?
भैंस : जंगल मे पुलिस हाथी पकडने आई हें
चूहा : पर तुम क्यों भाग रहीं हो तुम तो भेंस हो?
भेंस : ये भारत हें भाई !
पकडे गये तो 20 साल तो अदालत मे ये सिद्ध करने मे ही लग जायेंगे कि
मैं हाथी नही भेंस हूँ OMG” यह सुन भेंस के साथ चूहा भी भागने लगा
748
एक गधा दूसरे गधे से
पहला गधा : यार मेरा मालिक मुझे बहुत मारता है .
दूसरा गधा : तो तू भाग क्यों नहीं जाता ?
पहला गधा : भाग तो जाता पर यहाँ फ्यूचर बड़ा ब्राइट है
मालिक की खूबसूरत बेटी जब शरारत करती है तो मालिक कहता है ,
तेरी शादी गधे से कर दूंगा बस इसी उम्मीद में बैठा हूँ
740
पहला गधा : यार मेरा मालिक मुझे बहुत मारता है .
दूसरा गधा : तो तू भाग क्यों नहीं जाता ?
पहला गधा : भाग तो जाता पर यहाँ फ्यूचर बड़ा ब्राइट है .
मालिक की खूबसूरत बेटी जब शरारत करती है तो मालिक कहता है
तेरी शादी गधे से कर दूंगा बस इसी उम्मीद में बैठा हूँ
794
Lion : Hey Elephant Why Isn’t There Any Gambling In Africa
Elephant : Because There Are Too Many Cheetahs
225
पहला गधा : यार मेरा मालिक मुझे बहुत मारता है .
दूसरा गधा : तो तू भाग क्यों नहीं जाता ?
पहला गधा : भाग तो जाता पर यहाँ फ्यूचर बड़ा ब्राइट है .
मालिक की खूबसूरत बेटी जब शरारत करती है तो मालिक कहता है
तेरी शादी गधे से कर दूंगा बस इसी उम्मीद में बैठा हूँ
665
Chuhy ko lgi billi gori gori,
2no mlne lge chori chori,
Chuha bola ao khele Ankh micholi,
Bili chuhy ko kha kr boli,
Janu sory I hate love story.
409
Aik kutta doosray se:
Oye aaj kal jahan rush ho wahan se nikal jaya kr.
Doosra: Kyon?
Pehla: Salay, agr dhamaka hogya tu insanon ki moat maray ga.
618
Ek Banda Jungle Mein Sunsan Sa Dekh Kar Nadi Mein Kapde Utarkar Nahane Chala Jata Hai.
Nahane Ke Baad Jab Vo Vaapis Aata Hai To Sare Jaanwar Usko Dekh Kar Hass Rahe Hote Hai.
Aur Ek Bandar Bolta Hai: Arey Dekho To Iski Poonch To Aage Hai.
809
Do U knoW Which is D Oldest Animal in D World?
?
Give up?
?
?
Wel its,
Zebra Coz its still in black and white.
269
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through something so small?
926
I was just told that my dog chased someone on a bicycle and bit him.
That's bullshit, my dog can't even ride a bicycle.
488
Why did the duck get arrested?
because he was selling quack
987
chhipkliyan diwar pe chal rahi thein.
Ek ne gana shuru kiya
Jaisey hi gana band kiya baki ke do gir padein!
Bolo kyon?
Stupid eis liye
Baki dono ne tali bajai…
861
Teacher: "Aise koi 5 animals ke naam batao jo pani mein rehte hain.."
Student:
Fish,
Fish ki Mummy,
Fish ke Papa,
Fish ka bhai,
Fish ki Sister...
552
A man asks a fat man in a train:
Is dis cabin 4 elephants only!!!!
Fat man humbly replies:
No!Even monkies like u can also sit here
455
Murga Murgi Se: I Love U Jaan.
Main Tumhare Liye Kuch B Kar Sakta Hoon,
Murgi: Haye Allah Sachi, Murga: Haan Murgi:
Chalo Phir Aaj Anda Tum Do....!
313
Ek party me chuha daru pike tunn tha Use dekhkar billi boli
Billi : Aaj Party Na Hoti To Mai Tuje Kha Jati
Chuha : Chali Ja
Nahi To Log Kahenge Ke daru pike Aurat Pe Hath Utha Diya
774
Chitiya Bike pe Ghum rahi thi
hathi ne lift mangi..
Itne me 1 chiti boli
Soch lo varna tumari maa kahegi
Aawara ladkiyo ke saath ghum raha tha
948
A man is fishing and he catches a crocodile. The crocodile tells him, "Please let me go! I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man says, "Okay, I wish my penis could touch the ground." The crocodile then bites his legs off.
333
Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A: Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
879
Q: How do you count cows?
A: With a cowculator.
437
Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch. One asks the other, "Do you recall your worst day last year?" The other responds, "Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"
732
Bears do not eat bears.
Tigers do not eat tigers.
Dogs do not eat dogs.
Cats stopped eating kebabs.
425
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man? A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"
489
Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
A: "Put it on my bill."
852
Ek baar ek Totaa (Bole to Parrot) Ud raha tha full speed par.
Uske saamne achanak full speed mein ek Ferrari aa rahi thi, dono ki takkar hui…
Totaa behosh hoga ya, raste mein ek bhikari tha usne Totaa ko uthaya aur ghar le gaya.Usko marham lagaya aur pinjare mein rakh diya.
Jab Totaa ko hosh aaya, usne apne aap ko pinjare mein dekha.
Aur bola, “Aalia … JAIL …. Woh Ferrari ka driver mar gaya kya ??
1
Hathi swiming pool me gira to sab chitiya bahar nikal gai.Ek chiti hathi kee pith par chad gai,to dusri boli- "Duba Saale Ko D
1
Ek baar cheenti ko dekhne haathi k ghar wale aaye,
Haathi ne cheenti ko pasand kar liya par cheenti ne haathi se shadi karne ko mana kar diya…
Batao kyun?
..
..
..
..
..
Kyunki haathi k daanth acche nahi thae
1
Once three cheethis were sitting.
Just then a haathi passed by.
‘Oye haathi’, said a cheethi ‘Mujhse kushti ladega’
Other cheethis said’Chod yaar bechara akela hai!’
1
Once Haathi and Cheenti (Good friends) were going on a motorcycle and met an accident. Haathi suffered serious injuries whereas Cheenti was all fine..
Do you know why ?
.
.
.
.
Because she was wearing helmet and Haathi did not
1
Kuchh Chitiya college se aa rahi thi.. tabhi aik haathi ne aik chiti ko seethe mar di.
Chiti roti hui apne ghar gayi or hanthi ki sikayat apni mammi se ki
Chiti ki mammi Hathi ke ghar jaati hai or jor jor se awaj lagati hai.
Ari o hanthi ki maa bahar aa, ari o hanthi ki maa, bahar to aa
Haathi ki mammi bahar nikal ke aathi hai or poochhti hai kya hua, kyu shor macha rahi hai tu.
Chiti ne kaha apne bête ko theek se rakh, bol de raste me zada chhed chaad karne ki zarurat nahi, manta hai to theek hai. Nahi to mard hamare ghar me bhi hai
1
Elephant Proposed An Ant ”I LUV U”
ANT:Hw Many Times I Have 2 Tel U
Its now allowed to have Inter”size” Marriages in our community.
Please forget about me !
1
Bahut sare chiti ek talab me naha rahi thi.
Tabhi ek hathi talab me kuud gaya .
Ek chiti hathi pe chad gayi ,tabhi ek dusri chiti ne kaha duba de saale ko …. !!!!
1
Ek Chinti ki Shadi Hathi se ho gayi aur kuch dino baad hathi mar gaya .
Toh chinti boli ya khuda ye kaisi khudai 2 din ka pyar aur zindgi bhar ki khudai.
1
Chitti ne haathi ko aesa kya bola jis se vo behosh ho gayi
batao batao…….?
chitti ne kaha MAI TUMHARE BACHE KI MAA BAN NE WALI HUN
1
A frog telephoned the psychic hot line and was told, “you are going to meet a beautiful young woman who will want to know everything about you.”
Frog
The frog said, “That’s great! will I meet her at a party, or what?”
“No,” said the psychic, “next term…in her biology class.”
1
Daughter told to her mother, “Right now I have seen a healthy white big cat went out from our kitchen”
Mother told, ” It is good sign and fortune to see a white big cat.”
Daughter replied, “Yes fortune is that it has eaten all of your foods.”
1
Ek bar ek chitti ne Hathani ke kan mein kuch kaha toh hathni behos ho gayi.
Phir kisine chitti se pucha ke tune kya kaha?
Chitti Boli: Maine itna hi kaha ke “Main tumhare bacche ki maa banne wali hoon!”
1
3 chhipkliyan diwar pe chal rahi thein.
Ek ne gana shuru kiya
Jaisey hi gana band kiya baki ke do gir padein!
Bolo kyon?
Stupid eis liye
Baki dono ne tali bajai…
1
A man went to sell his dog. A buyer asked him, “Is this dog faithful?”
The man replied, “Yes,I have sold him 3 times but he returns to me.”
1
A big Hunter in a party talking about his hunting career and told, “Yes I used to shoot tigers in Africa.” The listeners protested saying there are no tigers on that continent.
The Hunter replied, “Of course I shot them all.”
1
The chicken and the egg are laying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face while the egg is frowning and looking slightly annoyed.
The egg mutters “Well I guess that answers that riddle”.
1
Q: Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
A: Catfish
1
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Climb up a tree and act like a nut!
1
Q: What would happen if pigs could fly?
A: The price of bacon would go up.
1
Q: What was the first animal in space?
A: The cow that jumped over the moon!
1
Q: Where does a ten ton elephant sit?
A: Anywhere it wants to!
1
Q: What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A: A car only has one horn.
1
Q: There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?
A: None, because they were copycats!
1