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Funny SMS
Life Is Very Beautiful

Ek Diwaar par likha huya tha,
‘Life Is Very Beautiful’.
Kisi ne uske niche.. ek line aur add Kar di:
Terms & Conditions Of Your Wife Apply

Uploaded By: Pankaj Jul,6 2015
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Monthly Paas

PRINCIPAL: Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya
toh first time 100 Rs fine,
2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI: Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu

Uploaded By: Tia Jul,4 2015
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Gair Merd Ke Saath

Ik raat bahuu ne kisi gair merd ke saath guzari,
mager saas ne kush na kaha,
bhala kiun, kiun ke saas bhi kabi Bahu thi!!

Uploaded By: Priya Jul,4 2015
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Kuchh Bheja

Aapki yaad mein ek shair arz kiya hai..

Aaj hai mangal, kal tha peer..

Wah wah…

Aja hai mangal, kal tha peer..

Kabhi to kuchh bheja kar ‘FAQEER’.

Uploaded By: Santhosh Jul,3 2015
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Salty Eggs

Major Rohail:
Dude EGGS are extra salty today��
Tooo much Salt..why?
Waiter:
Sir hen is suffring from high blood
Pressure

Uploaded By: Tina Jul,2 2015
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WHAT AN IDEA SIR JIII

Husband : Jab mein aache clothes pehenkar bazaar jata hu to sabziwale
sabzi mehngi dete hai. Jab gande kapde pehenkar jata hu to saste.
Wife : Tum katora lekar jaya karo na, free me hi sabzi mil jayegi!

Uploaded By: Liza Jul,2 2015
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Ladki Ki Car

Boy- Tumhari car kaisi chal rahi hai?
Girl – Theek chal rahi hai.
Boy- aaj sham ko dogi kya?
Girl- Haan le lena but ye to batao car ke bare mei kyu pooch rahe they?

Uploaded By: Sunny Jul,1 2015
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Positive Thinking

Doctor : Your Liver is enlarged
Patient : Does that mean it has space for more whiskey ?
This is called
Positive Thinking

Uploaded By: Sneha Jul,1 2015
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Modern Love

Ek ladka blood bank mein: Sister mujhe ek botal khoon de do.
Sister: Blood group batao.
Ladka: Koi bhi chalega.
Sister: Kaise.
Ladka: Mujhe love letter likhna hai.

Uploaded By: Santhosh Jun,30 2015
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Vidhya Ki Khatir

Teacher: raju tum kis liye college aate ho?
Student: vidya ke khaatir
Teacher: toh ab so kyu rahe ho?
Student: aaj vidya nahi aayi hai sir.

Uploaded By: Sophia Jun,30 2015
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New Girlfriend

Maths Teacher : If you have 12 chocolates and you give
5 to priya 3 to Anita and 4 to kavitha
then what will u get?
Student : 3 New Girlfriends Mam.

Uploaded By: Santhosh Jun,29 2015
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Bulaya Hi Nahi

Man To Boy:- Abe tu yaha baitha hai
Tere dost ki death ho gai hai Tu gaya Kyu Nahi????
Boy:- Uss saale ne mujhe bulaya hi nahi.

Uploaded By: Neeta Jun,29 2015
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Ladki Ki Ladai

2 Ladkiya Bus me seat ke liye lad rahi thi..
Conductor: Kyun lad rahi ho? Jo umar mei badi ho wo baith jaye..
Bas fir kya.. Dono poore raste khadi hi rahi.

Uploaded By: Priya Jun,26 2015
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Doctor And Lady

A Lady to Doctor:
My Husband has a habit of talking in sleep! wat shud i giv him to cure?
Dr: Give him an Opportunity to speak when he is awake.

Uploaded By: Mahesh Babu Jun,26 2015
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Howmany Coin I Have?

A Man To friend: Guess how manycoins I have in my pocket?
Friend:If I guess right u give me 1?
Man:Yes I will give both of them.

Uploaded By: Shilpa Jun,25 2015
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Need Poison

Man at medical store:I need poison
Chemist: I can not sell you that
Man shows his marriage certificate
Chemist: Oh! sorry
I did not knew u had a prescription.

Uploaded By: Julia Jun,25 2015
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Badla

Man court mein judge se
Aaj tak meri itni insult nahi hui
meri nai padson ne mujhe nahate hue dekh lia he
Judge: to tum kya chahte ho?
Man: Badla.

Uploaded By: Sanjjana Jun,24 2015
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Birthday Gift

Dad : Son what do you want for your birthday?
Son : Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.

Uploaded By: Abdullah.khan Jun,23 2015
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Fast Food

Two tigers resting under a tree suddenly a rabbit passed very fast
1st Tiger could not make out and asked What was that?
2nd tiger smiled and said:Fast Food.

Uploaded By: Sanjjana Jun,23 2015
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High Technology

Nurse : Mubarak ho aap ke ghar ladka paida hua hai.
Man : Wah g wah kya technology hai Biwi meri hospital hai.
aur bacha mere ghar paida hua hai!

Uploaded By: Aisha Jun,22 2015
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Girl Seen By Others

Boy: Men dress up to been seen by others.
Girl: Laughs and says girls dress down to be seen by others.

Uploaded By: Sneha Jun,22 2015
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Note On Floor

Son: Dad, if you saw a 10 note and a 5 note on the floor which will you take?
Dad: The 10 of course!
Son: Thats so STUPID! Why not take both?

Uploaded By: Varun Jun,20 2015
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Jaldi Chalo

Man to hotel manager: Jaldi chalo meri wife khidki se kood kar jaan dena ja rahi hai.
Manager: So Sir what can I do?
Man: Abbe khidki nahi khul rahi hai.

Uploaded By: Sanjjana Jun,20 2015
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Outside Accident

 


One employee told his boss Sir Increase my salary I got married recently.
The boss replied The Company cannot compensate for the accidents happened outside of the company.

Uploaded By: Karan Jun,19 2015
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Girlfriend Ke Saath Walk

Maths Teacher: What is a line?
Pappu: A line is a dot that's going for a walk.
Teacher: Then what are parallel lines?
Pappu: A dot going for a walk with his girlfriend.

Uploaded By: Rajaan Jun,19 2015
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Running A Race

Girl- Nice mobile. Where did u buy?
Boy- I won this in a running race.
Girl- How many people participated?
Boy- Mobile owner police and me.

Uploaded By: Aakash Jun,18 2015
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Conductor Ki Shadi

Ek conductor ki shadi ho rahi thi,
Jab Dulhan phero ke waqt uske pas akar baithi
To vo bola thoda pas ho k baith,
Ek sawari or baith sakti hai.

Uploaded By: Sanjjana Jun,17 2015
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Photographer Ke Angle

Mom - Beta woh dekh ladka sadak ke beech mein leta hua hai shayad behosh hoke gir gaya
Me : Photographer hai mummy angle le raha hai.

Uploaded By: Santhosh Jun,16 2015
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Opposite Of NAAG PANCHAMI

What Is The Opposite Of NAAG PANCHAMI?
So Simple Yaar NAAG DO NOT PUNCH ME.

Uploaded By: Santi Jun,15 2015
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What Is Adult Joke

Sardarji was asked what is a adult joke?
Reply came any joke which is eighteen years old.

Uploaded By: Sneha Jun,12 2015
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Tumko Dekha


Tumko dekha to khayaal aaya,
Tumko dekha to khayaal aaya,
Tumko dekha to khayaal aaya,
Paglon ke stock mein naya maal aaya.

Uploaded By: Sanjjana Jun,11 2015
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Great People

great people
1. Gandi Ji, woh to ab rahe nahi
2. Sharukh, woh kisi kaam ka nahi
3. Aishwarya Rai, apni pohanch say bahir.
Baqi rahe aap aur hum So keep in Touch

 

Uploaded By: Chameli Jun,10 2015
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Ab Light Nahi Aaegi

Teacher:Bahut tez barish ho rahi hai
Iske aage ka sentence btao.
Student: Ab light Nahi Aaegi.

Uploaded By: Pankaj Jun,9 2015
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Thanks For Warning

This one is ultimate
A girl says to her boyfriend:One kiss and I will be yours forever.
The guy says thanks for the warning.

Uploaded By: Varun Jun,8 2015
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Modi Sarkaar

Ab To Modi Sarkaar Bhi Aa Gayee,
Par Wo Ladkiya Kahi Dikh Nahi Rahi, Jo Kehti Thi
Muft Me Dungi Har Baar
Par Ab Ki Baar Modi Sarkar.

Uploaded By: Liza Jun,6 2015
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Kya Maal Hai

Ek Ladka Ek Ladki Ko Dekh Ke Bola
Waah Kya Maal Hai
Ladki Hansi Aur Boli
Maal To Jhakkass hai
Par Hai to Tere JIJA Ka na Kamine.

Uploaded By: Priya Jun,5 2015
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Muh Bana Leti Hun

Boy – Khana bana leti ho
Girl – Nahi
Boy – Aur kuch bana leti ho?
Girl – Haan selfie lete time muh bana leti hu.

Uploaded By: Mahesh Babu Jun,5 2015
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Rashan Card Par Naam

Jaan-pehchaan hote hi
ladko ko ladki ko whatsapp par add karne
ki itni jaldi hoti hai mano.
hone wali BIWI ka Rashan Card par naam chadhwana ho.

Uploaded By: Raj Jun,4 2015
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Kiss Kyu Kiya

Police: Oye tune Papita Bechne wali ko kiss kyon kiya?
Boy: Sir main bhi kya karta wo itni der se mere ghar ke bahar chilla rahi thi.
PAPPI-TE LE LO
PAPPI-TE LE LO.

Uploaded By: Nikki Jun,4 2015
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Ghar Par Koi Nhi Hai

A girl calls a boy: Ghar pe koi nai hai.
Aa jaao Aish karenge
Boy shocked: Abhi to tere saath Aish Karke lauta hu.
Girl: Oh, Sorry Phir se tumhe hi lag gaya

Uploaded By: Sneha Jun,3 2015
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Best English

Teacher: Translate the sentance into English.
Vasant ne Muje Mukka Mara
Student: Vasant panch me

Uploaded By: Sunny Jun,3 2015
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Sonakshi Ko Kyon Pakda

Alia reads in new paper.
Police caught 80 kg heroine
Alia: shit yaar Sonakshi ko kyon pakda.

Uploaded By: Munni Jun,3 2015
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Muh Bana Leti Hun

Boy – Khana bana leti ho
Girl – Nahi
Boy – Aur kuch bana leti ho?
Girl – Haan selfie lete time muh bana leti hu.

Uploaded By: Gujju Jun,2 2015
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Tujhe Pasand Kar Jate Hai

Maa: Tu Apne Baal Kyu Nahi Katwata.
Pappu: Yo Mom Its Fashion
Maa: Woh To Thik He Par Log Teri Behen K Liye
rishte leke Aate Hai aur Tujhe Pasand Kar Jate hai.

Uploaded By: Mahesh Babu Jun,2 2015
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Thank You Brother

World’s Shortest Love Story
Boy :Hi you Look Beautiful
Girl :Thank You Brother.

Uploaded By: Aisha Jun,2 2015
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Beautiful When Lips Are Closed

Funny women saying…
A foolish man tel a women to stop talkng.
But a wise man tell her that,
her face looks extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.

Uploaded By: Jessie Jun,1 2015
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Order Order

Ek Shrabi Ka Court Mein Case Chal Raha Tha.
Judge ne kaha ORDER ORDER
Shrabi Replied:
Ek CHILLI CHICKEN One ROYAL STAG with SODA
Jaldi le aao.

Uploaded By: Sneha Jun,1 2015
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Pahle jaan Ab Ammi Jaan

Ladka to His Friend: Yaar main jis larki ko chahta tha usne mujhse shadi nahi ki
Freind: Tune usy bataya nai k tera Papa karoor pati hain
Ladka: Bataya tha
Friend:to phir
Ladka:Usne Papa se shadi karli Pehle jaan kehta tha ab Ammi jaan.

Uploaded By: Santhosh Jun,1 2015
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Dahej Ke Lie Torture

Lady: Muje Sasural wale Dahej ke liye torture karte the.
Aamir: Kya karte the?
Lady: Kursi se baandh ke Dhoom-3 dikhate the.

Uploaded By: Santi May,30 2015
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Mast Chhamiya

Lady Teacher Ne My Teacher Par 10 Lines Likhne Ko Kaha.
Thodi Der Bad Golu Ne Uthkar Pucha
Madam Mast Chhamiya Ko English Me Kya Kahte Hain?

Uploaded By: Rajaan May,30 2015
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