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Husband & Wife

Patni- Janu bag pack ker lo maine lotry mai 10 crore jita hai.
Pati -Darling bag mai winter ka kapde dalu ya summer k?
Patni- jo bhi dalna hai dalo,aur dafa ho jao yaha se.

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Patni: Maine Driver ko naukri se nikal rhi hu kyuki mai aaj dusari bar marte marte bachi hu...
.
Pati-Plzz Darling, use ek mauka aur dono na.....plzzz

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1 Admi ne 100 times khoon daan kark record bnaya
Blood bank walo ne uski wife ko prize diya
ye kehte hue ki
Apne Nahi PiyaTabi to Hmne Liya

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Friends are like “Priya Gold Biscuit” Haq Se maango
Girl Friends are like Pepsi Yeh Dil Maange More
Wife is like a medicine Bas Ek hi kaafi hai.

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Husband: kyu na Aaj ki chaye bahar pi jaye?
Wife: kyo?tumhe kya lagta hai mai chaye banate -2 thak gye hu?
Husband: Nhi ,per mai plate aur cup dhote dhote tang aa gaya hu..

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Techr ne chote bache se pucha"bhagwan kaha hai"?
ek bache ne bola mujhe pata hai..
Techr-batao
Bacha-bathroom mai.
Techr-ek pal k liye chup thi....phir boli tmhe kaise pata?
Bacha-Roj subah jab papa uthte hai.bathroom ka darwaja knock krte hue kehte hai ."Hey
Bhagwan!tm ab tak andar hi ho...

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Ek Admi ne waiter ko 100rs tip diye
waiter-Aap k liye mai roj shaam ko kone wali table reserve rakhunga.
Admi-Maine tumhe ishliye tip di hai jab bhi mai apni patni k satha au to tum kehna table
khali nhi hai,to mai use kisi saste se hotel mai le jaunga.

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Ek Husband apni Wife ko yeh keh kr chidata tha- 3 bacho ki amma
patni ko bahut gussa ata tha
ek din jaise hi pati ne bola 3 bacho ki amma
patni ne turant jwab diya bolo- 2 bacho k papa..

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Wife to her husband: I love you!
I can't live without you!
Mar Jaungi!
Mit Jaungi!
Jehar Pee Luongi!
Tere Pyaar Mein Fanna Ho Jaungi!
Husband: Dekh Le Jaise Tujhe Theek Lage!

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Chae ki patti (tea)
aur pati (husband)
me kya similarity hai?
.
Dono k naseeb me jalna aur ubalna
likha ha & woh b
aurat k hathon.

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Pati- Maine aaj ek sapna dekha?
Patni-Kya?
Pati-Ki tum kise se pyar kr rahi ho.
Patni-Kya tmne use pehchana?
Pati-Nhi pehchan paya,kyuki mai raat mai bina chasma k hi so gaya tha.

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Husband aur Wife me Jhagda hua
husband ghar se chala gaya.
Raat ko phone kerk pucha khane me kya h?
Wife:zehar
Husband: Maine late se aaunga,tum kha kar so jaana..

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Wife:Suna he k jannat me Husband
k sath Wife ko nahi rehne dete

HUSBAND! sahi suna he,
Wife: aisa kyu?

Husband: Are pagli isi liye to
use jannat kehte hai..

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Wife:kal Raat tum mujhey neend
mai galia kyu de rahe the?
Husband: Tumhe ghalat fehmi hue hai..
Wife: kaisi ghalat fehmi?
Husband: yehi k mai neend mai tha..

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Patni: Jab Tum Desi pite ho mujhe Pari kehte ho.

Beer pite ho to darling
par aj bhutni kyu?

Pati:Aaj maine sprite piya hai,
'Seedhi Baat No Bakhwash'.

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Patni- Shadi K Pehle Aap Roz Gift Dete The, Par Ab Nai Dete, Kyu?
Pati- Tune Kabhi Kisi Machware
Ko Machli Pakdne K Baad Use Dana Dalte Dekha Hai?

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Possible Reasons When A Man Opens a car door for wife
1) The Car Is New.
2) The Wife Is New
3) (Most Imp) She Is Not His Wife

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Wife 2 Husband: Did u Have any GF before marriage ?
Husband remains silent ?
Wife: what is D meaning of silence?
Husband: Wait.. let me count...

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A white couple gets a black child.
Angry husband asks- You white, Me white. Why is baby black?
Wife- You hot, Me hot. Baby burnt!

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