आम आदमी पार्टी वालो को जंतर-मंतर को ही अपना हेडक्वार्टर बना लेना चाहिए, रोज रोज आने जाने का टंटा ही खत्म हो जायेगा।

Rabri Devi died and went to heaven (Don't Laugh). As she stood in front of Yamraj , she saw a huge wall of clocks behind. She asked, "What are all those clocks?" 
Yamraj answered, "Those are LieClocks. Everyone on Earth has a LieClock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move." 
"Oh," said Rabri, "Who's clock is that?" 
That's Gautam Buddha's. The hands have never moved indicating that he never told a lie. 
"And whose clock is that?" 
That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice, telling us that Abraham only told 2 lies in his entire life." 
Rabri asked, "Where's my Laloo's clock?" 
Laloo"s clock is in my office", replied yamraj, "I'm using it as a ceiling fan.

बिहार,बंगाल और यूपी की ट्रेन्स में 
रेलगाड़ी के आखिरी डिब्बे में रोजाना लूटपाट की घटनाये हो रही थी.
अंतिम डिब्बे में डकैती करके डकैत आसानी से भाग जाते थे 
इस विषय पर रेलमंत्री लालूजी से चर्चाकरने के लिए पुलिसवाले पहुचे 
लालूजी से बोले इस लूटपाट रोकने का कोई उपाय बताये.
लालूजी बोले सीधा सा उपाय है रेलगाड़ियों 
में आखिरी बिब्बा ही लगाना बंद कर दो ,लूटपाट ख़तम हो जाएगी

While on a personal visit to Las vegas, LaLoo wanted to talk to his wife’ but he afraid to disturb her. So he picked up the phone and asked the long distance telephone operater ‘ Could u please tell me the time differance between patna and Las vegas”
Opertor: just a minute sir.....
Laloo: Thank u and put the phone down

Bush: Tujhe swimming aati hai?
Laaloo: No!
Bush:Tere se kutta acha hai jo swim kar leta hai.
Laaloo: Tujhe aati hai.
Bush:Haan!
Laaloo: Fir tere mein aur kutte mein kya farak hai

Laloo: 2 his P.A.: Itne khilari kyun football ko laat mar rahe hai?
P.A.: Goal kar ne k liye.
Laloo: Sasura, Ball to pahle se hi gol hai aur kitna gol karenge.!

Watch aur Wife me kya farak hota hai?
Funny Laloo: Watch bigadti hai to bandh ho jati hai. Wifei bigadati hai to shuru ho jati hai.

Barkha Dutt: Laloo Ji, hamare desh mein divorce ke cases badte hi ja rahe hain. Aapko kya sochte ho, iska main karan kya hai. 
Funny Laloo: Shaadi.

To send a person on Mars, NASA selects 3 persons for an interview.

The first one, an American doctor comes and is asked how much money he would take to go to Mars. He answers,"I'll take 1 million dollars and donate them to my university". He is discarded.

The second one, a Russian engineer answers to the same question, "I'll take 2 million dollars. I'll donate one million to my university and the remaining to my family."

The third, an Indian politician answers, "I'll take 3 million. I'll give one to you, I'll take one for myself and the remaining one million, we'll give to that
silly doc and send him!"

Q: Once there were Jayalalitha, Mamta Banerjee, Laloo Yadav and Jaya Jaitley, Bangaroo Laxman in a ship. Suddenly the ship starts sinking. Can you guess who survives?

A: Our Country! India.

Laloo prasad yadav was working on a puzzle to assemble. After many trials he could assemble them and shoted in happiness, his inlaw came and asked why he was happy. Laloo said he assembled the puzzle successfully in 5 months only.

On this sadhu admitted it was too late to solve a small puzzle like this in 5 months.

Laloo in anger showed him the cover and said, "Idiot! see It's printed that It's for 3 to 6 years."!!

During the election campaign for the election of the American President, a campaigner from the Bush camp happened to meet his counterpart from the Gore camp.

A conversation started, and expectedly, each began to boast of his methods of campaigning. 'Whenever we sit in a cab,' said the Bush supporter, 'we give a few extra cents to the cabbie and ask him to vote for Bush.'

Not to be outwitted, the Gore campaigners replied, 'Whenever we take a ride in a cab, we pay a few cents less to the cabbie, and then ask him to vote for Bush!'

Vegetarian???
Laloo was going to somewhere through plane.
Air hostess asks him "Are you a vegetarian??

He replied "nahi hum to parliamentarian hai."
Air hostess again asked "nahi sir, mera matlab hai, Aap shakahari hai ya masahari???"

Laloo boola "na to hum shakahari hun na hum masahari hum to behari hun."

At a summit meeting (during Zail Singhs presidency) Indira Gandhi, Ronald Reagan and Helmut Kohl were talking among themselves and bragging about the technological advances their respective countries have achieved in the field of medicine.

Reagan: In Washington, there was a baby boy born without arms, so we attached artificial arms on him. Now that he is grown, he has become an Olympic professional boxer and a gold medalist at that.

Kohl: Thats nothing to that we have done. Back in Berlin, there was a baby girl born without legs, so we attached a pair of artificial legs on her. Now she is a three-time marathon gold medalist in the Olympics.

Indira Gandhi: Is that all you have - just gold medalists? In Punjab, we had a baby boy born without a head. We attached a coconut and put a turban on it so that people wouldn't know. Now he is president of India.

Five surgeons are discussing who are the best type of surgical patients.

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in, "You know, I like construction workers ... those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed, "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There are no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable."

Barbara Walters filed a report on gender roles in Kuwait a few years prior to the Gulf War, and noted then that, in traditional Islamic fashion, women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands.

Recently, Barbara returned to Kuwait and observed that the MEN now walked several yards behind their wives.

She approached one of the Kuwaiti women for an explanation.

"This is marvelous," Barbara said. "What enabled women here to achieve this reversal of roles?"

The Kuwaiti woman replied, "Land mines."

Diplomat Wants Water
An Arab diplomat visiting the U.S. for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The Grand Emir was unused to the salt in American foods (french fries, cheeses, salami, anchovies etc.) and was constantly sending his manservant Abdul to fetch him a glass of water.

Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and return with a glass of water, but then came the time when he returned empty-handed.The Emir was angry and shouted " Abdul, you son of an ugly camel, where is my water?".

"A thousand pardons, O Illustrious One," stammered the wretched Abdul, "white man sit on well." (the shit pot!)

One day Bush was out jogging and accidentally fell from a bridge into a very cold river.

Three boys, playing along the river, saw the accident. Without a second thought, they jumped in the water and dragged the wet president out of the river.

After cleaning up he said, �Boys, you saved the President of the United States today. You deserve a reward. You name it, I�ll give it to you.�

The first boy said, �Please, I�d like a ticket to Disneyland!�

�I�ll personally hand it to you,� said Bush. �I�d like a pair of Nike Air Turbos,� the second boy said.
�I�ll buy them myself and give them to you,� said Bush. �And I�d like a wheelchair with a stereo in it,� said the third boy.

�I�ll personally � wait a second, son, you�re not handicapped!�

�No, but I will be when my father finds out whom I saved from drowning.

Sonia Gandhi ek school visit karne gayi ek class me aa ke boli bacho- koi sawal puchna hai to pucho
Chikku bola- mere 3 sawal hain.
1- aap prime minister q nahi bani?
2- Ramleela maidan Delhi me police kisne bheji?
3- Aapka kitna paisa Swiss Bank me jama hai?
Is se phale k sonia jawab deti half time ki bell baj gayi
After half time
Mikku khara ho kar bola- Ma'am mere 5 sawal hai 3 sawal to wo hi hai jo chikku ne poochhe the
4- half time ki bell 20 min pehle kese baj gai?
aur
Akhri sawal

Rahul Gandhi --> Mom, aapaki wajah se meri shaadi nahi ho paaa rahi.
Sonia Gandhi --> Kyun beta?
Rahul Gandhi --> Har taraf to likha hai ki sonia ko bahumat do.

There was a meeting of Bihar state freedom fighters.

They wanted to free Bihar from India.

Ram bhaiya raised a point...,

"We may take Bihar from India but how will we develop it?"

Shayam bhaiya had a brainwave. "No problem!

We will attack America, we will lose the war and USA will take us over...

Then we will become a State of USA & develop automatically...!

We will also become direct citizens of USA. No more Visas & Green Cards."

All the Bhaiyas were overjoyed with this solution, but an old bhaiya was not.

Someone asked him why he wasn't happy.

The old bhaiya replied,

"That's all very well....,

"But what would happen if by chance we won & took over America?"

Rahul Gandhi's latest Blunder...
He was heard saying...
It was due to Whats App... Application which inclined Voters to Vote AAP..

Again its proved delhi is not safe for women..
see what happened to sheela dixit!!

(Chattisgarh, MP, RJ, Delhi) Congress    on sale @ OLX...
after defeat...
Sonia says.. bech de.....

Once Burqa Dutt sitting in the doctor’s office, complaining of incessant gas. She says to the doctor.

“I’ve been having silent farts all day. I had one in the lift, one in church and…um, one right now.”

The doctor replied, “I think you need to get your hearing checked.”