STORY
VIDEOS
NON VEG
Aawaz uthao corruption ke khilaf
Kyun khud ko abhi tak roka hai
Bacha lo mere desh ko
Yaro abhi bhi moka hai
1 
Rahul Gandhi: Mujhe desh ki bahut fikr hai, par main “Satyamev Jayte” nahin dekh paaunga!
Aamir Khan: Kyun?
Rahul Gandhi: Kyunki uss time “Chhota Bheem” aata hai..
1
Manmohan Singh – We Will Send Indians To The Moon Next Year.
Obama – Oh! How many???
Manmohan Singh- 100.
According To Reservation(Aarakshan) 35 OBC, 30 SC, 20 ST, 10
handicapped, 5 sports quota, 4 minority & if possible….1 astronaut
1
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at
evening not in the morning. Sardarji replied
”Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM”.
1
One day Manmohan Singh will retire,
And his autobiography will be called,
’3 Mistakes of My Life’
2G,
3G &
Sonia G’..!!
1
Once A Teacher Asked The Student:
Teacher: What Does Our Prime Minister Manmohan Singh Do ?
Pappu: He Does Whatever Sonia Gandhi Advice Him To Do.
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Once, Rahul Gandhi, Sonia Gandhi and Manmohan Singh were flying with a Congress team in an aircraft to address a rally.
Just after 20 minutes of journey, pilot in command announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, our one of the engines has gone down, but we do not need to worry as, still we have three engines running. The flight may take an hour more to reach the destination.”
Rahul Gandhi: “Mummy I am feeling scared.”
Manmohan to Sonia: “Mam, can I Jump?”
Sonia: “No, you idiot; you maintain your silence as always.”
After 5 minutes again pilot announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, we have lost another engine but we still have two engines left, please do not panic. The flight may be more than an hour delay.
Rahul Gandhi: “Mummy….mummy…what will happen……?”
Manmohan to Sonia: “Mam, can I jump?”
Sonia: “From when you started speaking? Just keep silence.”
Again after 15 minutes pilot announced- “ladies and gentlemen, we have the third engine but still the fourth one is running. Flight will be take more than two hrs to reach the destination.
Rahul Gandhi: “Mummyyyyeeee…if the fourth one will fail we will be on plane forever.”
Manmohan to Sonia – “Mam if we will not jump than we all will die.”
Sonia to Manmohan – “Just keep quiet you silent man, don you know we are still running the country despite being caught in scams after scams. Nothing will happen to us and we will reach safely.”
1
Rahul: Mummy mummy, Meri shaadi
karwa do?
Sonia: Why son? God has already screwed
you enough.
1
After failing in everything else, Rahul
Gandhi decided to try the job of a
painter.
A person went into the office kitchen
one morning and found Rahul Gandhi
painting the walls.
He was wearing a new fur coat and a
nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a
little strange, he asked Rahul Gandhi
why he was wearing them rather than
old clothes or an overall.
Rahul Gandhi showed him the
instructions on the tin, “For best
results, put on two coats”.
1
Rahul gandhi ka mobile toilet me gir gya
Tabhi toilet devi prakat hui or golden color ka mobile usey dia
rahul:Nhi devi mera mobile sone ka nhi tha
Devi:abe gadhe,dho le isey..
1
I called Rahul gandhi GAY,,
and he slapped me with his
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PURSE!!
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Manmohan aur rahul ladai kar rahe the:
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manmohan- main tere kapde faad dunga..
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rahul - yaar serious ladai mein tu
romantic
baate mat kiya kar.
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Congress ka ek mantri bhashan (speech)
de rha tha . . .
usne ek kahani sunai !!!
.
Ek aadmi k 3 bete the,
us aadmi ne teeno beto ko 100 rs diye or
kaha k koi aisi cheez kharid kr lao jis'se
pura kamra bhar jaye
.
pehla beta 100rs ki ghas le kr aaya,
100 rs me bahut ghas(chara) aa gya fir b
kamra pura nhi bhara (Lalu ji yad aa gye
kya chare k naam se, kher aage suno)
.
dusra beta kapas le kr aaya, kapas se b
kamra pura nhi bhar saka
.
teesra beta 1 rs ki mombatti le kr aaya or
usko jala diya mombatti ki roshni se pura
kamra bhar gya
.
mantri ji ne aage kaha : hamare rahul baba
us teesre bete ki tarah h :P( haha ha ha
lolz had ho gai)
.
jis din se rajiniti me aaye h charo taraf
roshni fela rhe h:P
.
tabhi bheed me se ek aam aadmi ki aawaz
aai...
Aam Aadmi : sahab wo sab to thik hai
humko ye batayiye ki 1 rs ki mombatti thi ,
par baki k 99 rs kaha gaye
1
Teacher: kya cheez mooh main nahin Leni chahiye?
Rahul:"Jalta hua bulb. Teacher: Kyon?
Rahul: kal rat mummy manmohan uncle se bol rahi thi ki bulb buja do to muh me lu.
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Rahul: kal rat mai bathroom gya, to dekha baha
bhoOot tha..
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Mandmohan: fir kya huya?
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rahul: hona kya tha, maine kaha k aap hi karlo
bhoOot ji.. Mera to waise hi nikal gya hai aapko
dekh k.
1
Pta nhi log bina nahaye mahino kaise rhe lete hai ,
Mujhe to 29sve din hi khujli none lagi hai...
Golden words by rahul gaandhi
1
Rahul gandhi jab bhi kapde dhota, baarish ho jaati.
Ek din dhoop nikli... Usne bhagwan ka
shukrya kiya aur dukaan se surf lene gaya....
Tabhi achanak zor zor se badal garajney
lagey...
Rahul fatafat aasman ki taraf mooh kar ke
bola...
"kidhar..???
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mai to biscuit lene aaya hu...!!
1
Manmohan public toilet gaya or 1 ghante baad nikla.
Jamadar bola : 20 rs.
Manmohan -:" Saale, Bathroom mai baithta tha,
CYBER CAFE mai nahi..! "
1
Manmohan in Hotel: Main yaha nahi rahunga.
Mere paise wapas karo. Itna chotta room? na he koi khidki na he koi balkoni??
Mujhe jaanwar samjha h kya?
Waiter: Mere Baap, Upar chal, yeh LIFT hai....
1
Rahul Gandhi chilla chilla k bolta h - congress mei 'corrupt' logo k liye koi jagah nai hai
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Abey seedhe seedhe ' house full ' ka board lga de itna chillana nai padega.
1
Voters ko samajhdaar hona chaahiye, pade likhe
to delhi waale bhi they...
1
AAPna Kaam Banta Bhaad Mein Jaaye
Janta.....Loksabha Election Paas Hai Baaki Sab
First Class Hai
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Bhagwan Ka Shukar Hai !!
Sonia: Mannu Ji! Aapko Pata Hai, Jeene Ke Liye Oxygen Bahut Jaruri Hai. Ishki Khoj 1773 Main Hui Thi.
Mannu Ji: Sach Medam!! Accha Hua Mein Baad Main Paida Hua Warna To Main Mar Hi Jata.
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Gandhi Jayanti Kya Hai?
Sonia:- Aap Gandhi Jayaniti Ke Bare Main Hume 2-4 Baatein Bataiye
Manmohan:- Ji.. Mujhe Gandhi Ji Ke Bare Main To Pata Hai, Lekin Ye Jayanti Koun Hai Nahi Pata.!!
1
Manmohan Ko Laga Bhoot!!
Ek Din Manmohan Singh Ko Bhoot Lag Gaya!
3 Din Baad Bhoot Khud Ek Oojha Ke Pass Gaya Aur Boola- Oojha Sahab Mujhe Jaldi Se Bahar Nikalo, Warna Main to Gunga He Mar Jaunga!! :-p
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Desh Main Jordaar Bhukamp Aaya!!
Desh Main Jordaar Bhukamp Aaya Sonia Ne Apne Liye Suraksha Ki Mang Ki.
Manmohan Ko Ek Rashta Sujha.
Buri Tarah Dare Huye Manmohan Ne Sonia Aur Unke Bacchon Ko Surksha Ke Lihaj Se Obama Ke Pass America Bhej Diya.
3 Din Baad Hi Manmohan Ko Obama Ka Call Aaya Aur Kaha Main Enhe Wapis Bhej Raha Hun, Chahe To Aap Bhukamp Ko Yahan Bhej Sakte ho!!!
1
Manmohan Singh Vs Baccha
Manmohan Singh Ek Bacche Ki Samjh Ki Pariksha Le Rahe The.
Manmohan: Agar Samundar Ke Bich Main apple Ka Pedh Ho to Apple Kaise Todoge?
Baccha: Mannu Uncle, Chidiya Bankar.
Manmohan: Aadmi Ko Chidiya Tum Banaoge?
Baccha: To Samundar Ke Bichh Main Apple Aap Ugayenge?
1
Digvijay singh is 67 and has 42 years old girlfriend.
Hugh Hefner – 87 years old, has a 27 year old wife.
Berlusconi – 77 years old, has a 27 year old girlfriend.
Maradona – 52 years old, has a 22 year old girlfriend.
Moral: Don’t worry if you don’t have a girlfriend, she probably isn’t born yet.
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Obama: Tujhe swiming aati hai. Lalu: Na Obama: Tere se to kutta acha hai jo swim kar leta hai. Lalu: Tumko aata hai Obama: Yes Lalu: Sasura fir tohre mein aur Kutta mein farak ka hai.
1
PM to Secretary-Jab se me PM Bana Hu Meri Maa ko Hichki Bahut Aati Hai. . Secretary- Actualy Sir, Petrol ke daam badhne se Log Aapki Maa Ko Bahut Yaad Karte Hai.
1
Now Rekha also has beennominated to Rajya Sabha
Means it makes a full Nirma detergent
team :
Hema, Rekha, Jaya aur Sushma.
Sabki pasand nirma.
1
Pilot was Anna
Agar Anna ki shadi ho gai hoti to yeh andolan kabhi na hota.
1. kahan ja rahe ho?
2. Akele tumhi ko padi hai anshan mein jane ki ??
3. yeh kejariwal ka saath chhodo..!!!
4. woh boycut baal wali ladki kaun hai? baar baar bagal mein akar baithti
hai....
5. sham tak aa jaoge na?
6. pahunchte hi fone karna.
7. udhar se lautte men 1 kilo papita bhi le ana.. aur raste mein bank mein sepaise nikal kar lana..
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Sonia ji 1 school visit karnegayi 1 class mein a kar boli bachcho koi sawal puchna hai to pucho.
Pappu bola mere 3 sawal hai:
1) Aap khud prime minister Q nahi bani
2) Ramleela maidan me police kisne bheji
3) Apka kitna paisa Swiss bank mein hai.
Isse pehle ki Sonia ji jawabdeti half time ke bell ho gayi.
After half time
Bablu khadha hokar bola Mam mere5 sawal hai..
3 to Pappu wale hai
4) Half time ki bell 20min phlekaise baji?
aur akhiri sawal?
Q5) Pappu kaha hai?
1
After failing in everything else, Rahul
Gandhi decided to try the job of a
painter.
A person went into the office kitchen
one morning and found Rahul Gandhi
painting the walls.
He was wearing a new fur coat and a
nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a
little strange, he asked Rahul Gandhi
why he was wearing them rather than
old clothes or an overall.
Rahul Gandhi showed him the
instructions on the tin, “For best
results, put on two coats”.
1
Rahul: kal rat mai bathroom gya, to dekha Veha
bhooot tha..
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.
.
. .
.
Mandmohan: fir kya huya?
.
.
. .
.
.
.
.
Rahul: hona kya tha, maine kaha k aap hi karlo
bhooot ji.. Mera to waise hi nikal gya hai aapko
dekh k.
1
Rahul gandhi jab bhi kapde dhota, baarish ho jaati.
Ek din dhoop nikli... Usne bhagwan ka
shukrya kiya aur dukaan se surf lene gaya....
Tabhi achanak zor zor se badal garajney
lagey...
Rahul fatafat aasman ki taraf mooh kar ke
bola...
"kidhar..???
.
.
.
mai to biscuit lene aaya hu...!!
1
Manmohan Singh nahi Sudhrega
Manmohan in Hotel: Main yaha nahi rahunga.
Mere paise wapas karo. Itna chotta room? na he koi khidki na he koi balkoni??
Mujhe jaanwar samjha h kya?
Waiter: Mere Baap, Upar chal, yeh LIFT hai....
1
Rahul Gandhi chilla chilla k bolta h - congress mei 'corrupt' logo k liye koi jagah nai hai
.
.
.
.
.
.
Abey seedhe seedhe ' house full ' ka board lga de itna chillana nai padega !
1
Voters ko samajhdaar hona chaahiye, pade likhe
to delhi waale bhi they...
1
Robert Vadra was out jogging one day…
When he tripped, and fell over a bridge railing and landed in the river below. Before NSG commandos could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted in return for saving his life. The first kid said, “I want to go to Disney world!” To which Vadra replied, “not a problem, I’ll even fly you there in first class air fare.” The second kid then says, “I want a new ST cricket bat!” “You got it.” Said Vadra. “I’ll even have Tendulkar himself sign it for you.” Then the third kid says, “I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in big screen tv and headset.” Vadra seemed a bit confused at this. “You don’t look like yore handicapped.” He said. To which the kid replied, “I will be after my dad finds out I saved you from drowning”.
1
Once Burqa Dutt sitting in the doctor’s office, complaining of incessant gas. She says to the doctor.
“I’ve been having silent farts all day. I had one in the lift, one in church and…um, one right now.”
The doctor replied, “I think you need to get your hearing checked.”
1
After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite sometime,
Laloo proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend.
"It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT," Laloo brags.
"FIVE MONTHS? THAT'S TOO LONG." the friend exclaims.
"YOU ARE A FOOL". Laloo replies. "SEE THIS NOTE, IT READS-"FOR 4-7 YRS".
6
once sonia gandhi, laloo, a school girl and a panditji was travelling in a plane. suddenly pilot approached them and told that planes one propeler has been failed and the other propeler will last for five minutes and in plane their are only four parachute. And the pilot
said that i am a good pilot and the country needs me so i am going to take one parachute and jump and after then sonia gandhi said that i am the leading leader of the country and the country needs me and took one parachute and jumped. And laloo without saying anything took one and jumped. Now their is only one parachute and the panditji said to the girl to jump with that last parachute and added that he was the old person what would he do by living rest of his life. BUT THE GIRL TOLD TO PANDITJI THAT WHY WAS HE
WORRYING SHE WILL TAKE ONE PARACHUTE AND JUMP AND AND PANDITJI WILL TAKE ONE PARACHUTE AND JUMP AND SAID THAT, " LALOO HAD TOOK MY SCHOOL BAG AND JUMPED."
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When Laloo completed 25 years of his rule over
Bihar, he wanted a special postage stamp with his picture on it. He asked Rabri, stressing that it should be world class. The stamps were released, and
Lalloo was pleased.
But within a couple of days, he began hearing
complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and became furious. He called Rabri and ordered her to investigate the matter. Rabri checked out at
several post offices, and then reported to Lalloo Prasad: She said: "The stamp is really world class. The problem is, our Biharis are spitting on the wrong side."
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Once Laloo and jayalalitawent out in aforest. laloo instantly
seeing her alone asked her"Samarthan Milegi".but the latter said
"no".having been asked the same question time and againand getting refusal
each time,he stopped asking.Now jayalalita suddenly said "ab samarthan
milegi".laloo now answered "absamarthan milne se kya faida,meri sarkary to
gir gaya
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Laloo is convicted in the fodder case and the courts decide that all his property belongs to the state. He is left with nothing and is going around LOOKING FOR A JOB.
He joins as a principal of a school and one day, he sees lots of students standing under a tree without going to classes.
He gets very angry and asks them " Why are you UNDERSTANDING the Tree"
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Two young friends (Bunty and Chinto) were standing on the flatform of Bihar. After standing there for one hour, Bunty went to buy sweets from a shop 5 meters away. When he came back, he was crying.
Chinto: what happened to you?
Bunty: The shopkeeper slapped me.
Chinto: Why? What did you ask him?
Bunty: I only asked him - "rabri ka bhaw kyan hai?"
rabri as in a sweet and Laloo's wife....
1
Laloo, Jayalalitha, and Mayavati are on a long flight in an Air Force plane.
Laloo pulls out a 100 Rupee note and says, "I'm going to throw this Rs.100 note out and make someone down below happy." Jayalalitha, not wanting to be outdone, says, "If that was my 100 Rupee note, I would split it into two Rs.50 notes, throw them down and make two people down below happy."
Of course Mayavati doesn't want these two candidates to out do her so she pipes in, 'I would instead take one hundred Rs.1 notes and throw them out to make 100 people just a little happier.
At this point the pilot, who has overheard all this bragging and can't stand it anymore, comes out and says, "If I throw all three of you out of this plane and I'll make 975 million people happy!"
1
NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one person could go, and he will not return to Earth.
The first applicant, an American engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going.
"A million dollars", he answered, "because I wish to donate it to M.I.T." The next applicant, a Russian doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for two million dollars.
"I wish to give a million to my family, he explained, "and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."
The last applicant was a Indian politician (Lallu Yadav). When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the INTERVIEWER'S ear,
"Three million dollars." "Why so much more than the others?" the INTERVIEWERasked.
The IndianPolitician replied, $1 million is for you, I'll keep $1million, and we'll give the American engineer $1million and send him to Mars."
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Mayavati: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Mayavati ka Funny beta: Haan mami, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.
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