STORY
VIDEOS
NON VEG
Sonia Gandhi treated for Cancer.
Seems like it's not only Team Anna and the Civil Society who is against govt. version of Lokpal.
Even her own body cells have started a CELL DISOBEDIENCE MOVEMENT inside her.
1 
A major traffic jam was preventing people from moving forward. A motorist shouted out wanting to know what was happening. A guy from the front replied, "Well at the traffic crossing Laloo Yadav is sprawled across the road. He is refusing to move from there!"
"But why?"
"He has lost the elections and will now surely be convicted for corruption and will have to pay lakhs of Rupess as fines! He is threatening to douse himself with kerosene and set himself on fire if people didnt contribute with MONEYto help him pay the fine!"
"So how much has been collected so far?"
"Six litres!"
2
Rahul Gandhi --> Mom, aapaki wajah se meri shaadi nahi ho paaa rahi.
Sonia Gandhi --> Kyun beta?
Rahul Gandhi --> Har taraf to likha hai ki sonia ko bahumat do.
1
If Congress wins next loksabha election...
Chawal 1 rupey ke 2 Dane,
.
Dal 5 rupey ki 4 dane,
.
Oil 10 rupey ke 2 drops,
.
Doodh 2 rupey ka 1 qatra,
.
Chini 3 ruaey ki 5 dane
.
Bijli or aata milne ke chance 1% hain.
.
Note: Jo bhi ye sab cheezen ek sath khridega, Use asli desi ghi ki khushbu muft songhai jayegi aur petrol free dikhaya jayega.
1
Knock
Knock
"Who's There ?"
"Gandhi"
"Gandhi Who ??"
"Rahul Gandhi"
"Bhai Khana Khatam Ho
Gaya Hai, Kal aana" !!
1
A push poller calls a voter that really, really HATES the candidate.
The voter goes into a five minute rant ending with: "And if your guy gets elected I don't know whether I will kill myself, or leave the country!"
The poller says: "OK, I will put you down as 'undecided.'"
1
Only in BritaiN do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well.
"Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures".
1
Statesmen tell you what is true even though it may be unpopular.
Politicians will tell you what is popular, even though it may be untrue.
1
Ek Bar Kejriwal, Modi, Sonia aur Kareena Train se ja rahe the.
Tabhi ek Goofa Aayi aur Kissing aur thappad Ki aawaz aayi.
Jab train bahar aayi to Kejriwal ka Gaal Laal tha,
Sab ke Sab Chup..
Sonia soch rahi thi Ke AAM ADMI paagal hote hai, Kejriwal Ne Kareena ko Kiss Kiya Hoga, aur thapad khaya Hoga.
Kareena soch rahi thi Ke Kejriwal ne Mujhe Kiss Karne ke Liye galti se Sonia Ko Kiss kar diya hoga aur thappad Khaya.
Kejriwal soch raha tha Ke Modi ne Kareena ko kiss kiya Lekin, Kareena ne Mujhe Samajh kar mujhe thappad Mara..
Modi soch raha tha ek bar fir gufa aaye aur Main fir se kiss ki awaj Nikal kar fir se kejriwal ko thappad Maaru… “Abhi sale ne INDIA ki politics dekhi kaha Hai…
1
Amul – The Taste Of India
.
.
Babool – The Paste Of India
.
.
Rahul Gandhi- The Waste Of India.
.
.
Modi- The Best Of India..
.
.
Sonia- The Guest Of India..
1
Ek baar rahul,
kejriwal
aur
Modi
Ek ship mein ja rahe the..
Achanak 1 Jinn aaya aur bola: “Samundar me koi cheez pheko, agar maine dhoond li to main tumhe maar dunga, Aur na dhoond paya to main tumhara Gulam!!”
Rahul ne Sui phenki.
Jinn ne dhoond li aur use maar diya..
Kejriwaal ne memory card pheka.
Jinn ne dhoond liya aur use bhi maar diya..
Modi ne kuch phenka..
Gin ne bohot dhuna, dhund dhund ke thak gaya aur puchhne laga. “batao mere aaaka main haar gaya,”
Modi bola: “main bhi tera baap hu, maine “Disprin” ki goli fenki thi, Chal Beta, delhi Chal desh ka Bohot Kaam Pada He!!”
MODI ROCKED, JINN Shocked
1
Narendra Modi ne ki Nawaj Sharif ko pehli saja…..
2 ghanta shapath samorah bithake rakha, na hilne diya na bolne.
Uparse baju main Manmohan ko bitha diya!
Baat kare to kisse kare !
2
Narendra modi ki door ki soch: Nawaz sharif ko isliye bulaya
.
.
Taki shapath grahan samaroh me koi aatanki hamla naa ho
1
Rahul Gandhi :
Mom hum is desh ko
kab tak lootenge??
.
.
Sonia :
‘JAB TAK HAI JAAN’
.
.
Rahul Gandhi :
Hamari help kaun
karega??
.
.
.
Sonia
‘SON OF SARDAR’
1
When Lord Ram & Laxman going back to Ayodhya .
they were stopped by Supnakha, she told them you did UDAHAR of Rawan, Megnath , Kumbhakaran , Marich, Traka etc.
but all play has started by me and you have not done any thing.
Lord Ram realized that She is right.
so He had given aashirwad that u will born in Kalyug and rule in Lakhan Pur ( Lucknow)
1
Laloos family planning policy.. "Don't have more than two children in one year"
At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." & the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?" Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."
1
Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas. So he called up the Tourist department and asked them "Ji could you tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas...".
The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and Laloo immediately replies "thank you" and puts the phone down.
1
A piece entitled ' In praise of Laloo Yadav ' ,
says : They have Hawala , We have Gowala ,
They have Hulla-Balloo , We have Laloo,
They have a Pouting P.M. , We have a Shouting C.M.,
They have a Beta , We have a Saala.
1
Mr. Laloo Prasad Yadav was sitting with his Ministers examining mail.
Suddenly Mr. Laloo cried out : ' Look at this letter ! It is addressed to
the stupidest man in Bihar'.
His minister tried to calm him by saying :
'How dare a man address such a letter to you ? '.
Mr. Laloo replied sadly: 'This does not bothers me, but why did the postman deliver it at the right address.'
1
Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business
Development to Bihar. The Japanese Embssary was quite impressed with
Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years
and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan." Laloo was
very surprised. "You Japanese are very inepicient," he stated "Give me
three days and I will turn Japan into Bihar"
1
At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender,
"JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." & the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS,
SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?"
Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."
1
Laloos family planning policy..
"Don't have more than two children in one year"
2
Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las
Vegas. So he called up the Tourist department and asked them "Ji could
you tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas...".
The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and Laloo
immediately replies "thank you" and puts the phone down.
1
Q: What do they call French Toilet in Bihar ?
Ans: La loo
1
After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to go modelling.
Once he enters the herd of buffaloes and resting his elbow on the back of the cattle he poses for a photograph.
Next day the photo appears on the front page of a newspaper.
GUESS THE CAPTION !!
"Laloo, third from left!"
1
Laloos family planning policy.. "Don't have more than two children in one year"
At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." & the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?" Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."
1
Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas. So he called up the Tourist department and asked them "Ji could you tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas...".
The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and Laloo immediately replies "thank you" and puts the phone down.
1
A piece entitled ' In praise of Laloo Yadav ' , says :
They have Hawala , We have Gowala ,
They have Hulla-Balloo , We have Laloo,
They have a Pouting P.M. , We have a Shouting C.M.,
They have a Beta , We have a Saala.
1
Mr. Laloo Prasad Yadav was sitting with his Ministers examining mail .
Suddenly Mr. Laloo cried out : \' Look at this letter ! It is addressed to
the stupidest man in Bihar \'. His minister tried to calm him by saying :
\' How dare a man address such a letter to you ? \'. Mr. Laloo replied sadly :
\' This does not bothers me, but why did the postman deliver it at the right address.\'
1
A husband says to his wife, "You know, our son got his brain from me."
The wife replies, "I think he did. I still got mine with me!"
1
Jab apke pas Girlfriend nhi ho to dukh hota h, lekin jab pta chale ki Digvijay Singh jaise k pas girlfriend h to bhut jyada dukh hota h...
Mene Amrita se puchh ki unhe aisa kya Diggi me pasand aaya, to wo boli unki JIBH bhut chalti h..
Ab meri to kuchh samajh hi nhi aaya :D :D :D :P
1
Rahul gandhi Se Interview Me Pucha Gaya:
Agar 2 Minute K Liye Aapko P.M Bana Diya Jaye
To Aap Kya Karenge…..??
Rahul: Hum Maggi Noodles Banayenge..
Interviewer: Why….??
Rahul: 2 Minute Me To Sirf Maggi hi Ban Sakti Hai..
Interviewer: Agar 5 Saal K Liye Bana Diya Jaye….??
Rahul: Hum 5 Saal K Liye P.M Nahi Banege..
Interviewer: Why….??
Rahul: Itni Maggi Kaun Khayega…!!!!!
2
Amul – The Taste Of India
.
.
Babool – The Paste Of India
.
.
Rahul Gandhi- The Waste Of India.
.
.
Modi- The Best Of India..
.
.
Sonia- The Guest Of India..
1
Congress has won 8 seats in Delhi. Now, they can fit in innova to go to assembly. They are called innova party.
1
Rahul Gandhi’s latest Blunder…
He was heard saying…
It was due to Whats App… Application which inclined Voters to Vote AAP…
1
“Hey Sheila, wanna here a joke?”
“Yes”
“Delhi”
“I didn’t get it”
“Exactly”
1
Tring Tring.
Sheila: Hello?
Rahul: What is the reason for your defeat?
Sheila: Sirji, AAP ?
1
Sheila Dixit singing:
AAP jaisa koi meri zindagi mein aaye,
Toh VAAT lag jaaye
Oho VAAT lag jaaye!!”
1
Rahul Gandhi’s Poetry in Dr. Kumar Vishwas’s Style
Koi shahzada kehta hai, koi pappu samjhta hai
Meri secular baichani ko bas Diggi samajhta hai
Twitter aur Facebook pe ye bezzati kaisi hai
Ye bas mera dil samajhta hai ya Kapil (Sibbal not Sharma) samajhta hai
1
New Word After Rahul Gandhi Interview
New word added to english dictionary after 28.01.2014 (Rahul Gandhi Interview with Arnab)
Pappu(verb) : to talk nonsense irrelevant to questions asked and make a complete fool of oneself.
Usage: How was your viva?
Answer: I pappued it.
1
Rahul Gandhi: Mujhe desh ki bahut fikr hai, par main “Satyamev Jayte” nahin dekh paaunga!
Aamir Khan: Kyun?
Rahul Gandhi: Kyunki uss time “Chhota Bheem” aata hai..
1
Finally, the bizarre is over and here goes the awards for different category.
Best Actor- Aravind Kejriwal
Best Debut child actor- Rahul Gandhi
Best female actor in supporting role- Mamta Banerjee
Best female actor in negative role- Soniya Gandhi
Best actor in comic role- Digvijay Singh
Life time achievment award-Lal Krishna Advani
Movie of the year-Abki baar Modi Sarkar
Its heard that Anurag Basu has approached Manmohan Singh for “Barfi 2?.
1
16 May 2014 ko dopahar delhi railway station se pakistan ke liye special train rawana hogi..
Shahrukh Khan, Lalu Yadav sahi jin bhi mahanubhaavo ne Modi ke PM banne par desh chhodne ki ghoshna ki thi, wo sabhi samay pat station pahunch jaayein!
1) 5 saal se bade bachcho ka poora ticket lagega (Rahul Gandhi Ka Bhi)
2) Jeb Katro se saawdhaan (Train mein chidambaram bhi honge)
3) Nav-vivahit jode ke liye S-1 mein seat rahegi (Diggi Raja)
1
Rahul jahan bhi ho Ghar aa jao,
Mata aur bahen dono paresan hai.
Koi kuchh nahi kahega,
Sari jimmedari Manmohan uncle ne li hai.
Jaldi aajao bas…
1
Upar Chhatri, Neeche Chhaya
Bhaag Rahul, Modi Aaya!!
1
Ab to Congress ke bhi achche din aane wale hain
ND tiwari ke baad, Digvijay Bhabhi laane wale hain!
1
Agar Aap ab ki baar modi sarkar sun sun ke pak chuke hain, to suniye kuchh naya…
Surakshit Kaale mere baal, Pagal ho gaya Kejriwal
Chyavanprash ho Sona Chandi, Nahin Jeetega Rahul Gandhi...
1