Wife: Batao Tumhe Me Kitni Achchi Lagti Hoon?
Husband: Bahut Zyada.
Wife: Fir Bhi Batao Kitni?
Husband: Itni Ki Dil Karta Hai Tere Jaisi 1 Aur Le Aun.
Pati: Tere Baap Ki Ungli Karne Ki Aadat Gayi Nahi?
Biwi: Kyu? Ab Kya Hua?
Pati: Aaj Phir Se Pooch Rahe The,
Meri Beti Se Shaadi Karke Khush Ho Na.
Ek Raat,
Ek Chor,
Ek Sardar k Ghar me Ghus gaya aur bola: SONA kaha hai?
Sardar: Ullu k patthe,
Pura Ghar khaali hai kahi bhi jaake SOJA.
Khuda Ke Ghar Se Kuch Gadhe Farar Hogaye
kuch To Pakde Gaye
kuch Hamare Yaar Ho gayen
Heart melting line of a 1 sided lover b4 the die
I wish to donate my blood to her,
so that at least my blood could enter her HEART where i could not!
Boy: I am going to kiss you.
Girl: khabrdar main shor mchaungi.
Boy: Par yahan to door tak koi nahi hai
Girl: Pir bhi FORMALITY to karni padti hai.
1 ladka achanak ladki ko dekh kar bola-
lafz tere geet mere, gazal koi sunau kya ?
Ladki-Haath mere gaal tere, kaan k niche bajau kya ?
Pehle KISS karo,
Phir PALANG Par leta do,
Phir CHADDI utar do,
Phir NICHE haath lagao,
Aur check karo k BABY ne SU SU toh nahi kiya na.
Larka to Class fellows: Tum pass ho gai ho,
Congrates,
Mouh hi metha krwa do.
Larki: Kiss se?
Larka: Chalo isi see krwa do.
Pati office jaa Raha Tha.
Patni pyar Se Boli: See u in The Evening.
Pati Gusse Se: Dhamki Kise de Rahi Hai, Main bhi Tujhe dekh Lunga.
Banta ke ghar ladka hua, par wo phir bhi dukhi tha?
Kyon?
Itne saalo baad, itni manato ke baad ladka hua wo bhi chhota sa.
Alia Market Mein Gayi Aur Dukandar Se Boli: Woh Wala Joke Dena.
Dukandar: Kaun Sa Wala?
Alia: Wahi Jo Sab Log Kehte Hain Market Mein Naya Hai.
Santa Police k interview Par,
Interviewer: Bhiid ko Titar Bitar Karne k Liye Kya Karna Chahiye?
Santa: Chanda Mangna Shuru Kar Dena Chahiye.
Pyaar se dost ho tum,
Harpal mere saath ho tum,
Dosti ki ek ahsaas ho tum,
Shayad iiliye kuch khaas ho tum.
Ek Ladies Se Bhari Bus Ka Bada Boori Tarah Se Accident Ho Gaya,
Saari Ladies Mar Gayi,
Sabke Pati Ek Ek Ghanta Roye,
Santa Do Ghante Roya,
Kyun?
Kyunki Uski Wife Se Bus Miss Ho Gayi Thi.
Wife: Jab desi pite ho toh Paro kehte ho.
Jab whisky pite ho to Darling.
Aaj kya piya jo chudail kehte ho?
Husbund: Aaj main hosh me hu.
Santa: Maine 2 shaadiyan kee lekin dono hi baar meri kismat footi nikli.
Banta: Woh kaise?
Santa: Pahli wali mujhe chhodkar chali gai aur doosri wali mujhe chhodkar jaana nahi chahti.
Santa Naha Raha Tha,
Dost Ne Awaaz Lagai To,
Nanga Hi Bahar Aa Gya.
Dost: Besharm Kuch To Pahen Leta.
Srdar Bhag K Ander Gya.
AUR PAGDI Pehan K Aa Gya.
Sardar: Oye Tu Har Message Do Baar Kyu Bhejta Hai?
2nd Sardar: Taki Tu 1msg Forward Kar De To Dusra Tere Pas Rahe.
Girl: Do u have a girlfriend?
Man: Yes who r u?
Girl: Your wife jaldi ghar aa kaminey.
Another unknown call comes.
Girl: Do you have a girlfriend?
Man: No who r you?
Girl: Your girlfriend you cheat.
A Naughty Caller: Hello, Dominos?
Yes Sir, How May I Help U?
Bhai Pizza Ghar Pe Kaise Banau?
Btaiyo Zara.
Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.
Pati aur patni ghumne gaye.
Raaste me ek gadhe ko ghaas kata dekh,
Patni ne pati se kaha: Oo G tumhara rishtedaar ghaas,
kha raha hai, namaste karo.
Pati: Namaste Sasur Ji.
Pappu Nd Sardar Football Stadium Mein.
Pappu: Paji, Ye Log Ball Se Kya Kar Rahe Hai?
Santa: Goal Kar Rahe He.
Pappu: Lekin Paji, Ball To Pehle Se Hi Gol He,
Or Kitni Gol Karenge?
Aey mere SMS mere dost ke pass jana,
Agar wo so raha ho to shor mat machana,
Jab wo jage to dhire se Muskarana,
Phir kehna KANJUS SMS karo.
Unse Milne Ko Jo Socho Ab Wo Zamana Nahi,
Ghar Bhi Kaise Jaun Ab To Koi Bahana Nahi,
Mujhe Yaad Rakhna Kahi Tum Bhula Na Dena,
Mana Ke Barson Se Teri Gali Me Aana-Jana Nahi.
Santa: Kya mai tere mobile se sms bhej du meri girlfriend ko?
Banta: Kyo apne mobile se bhejo.
Santa: Yaar handwriting pehchan legi badi chalak hai.
Agr Mobile India Mai Bana Hota To Us Mai Ye Templates Hote: 1.Kutey Call Kr.
2.Cigrete Lete Hue Aiyo.
3.Yar Kisi Lakdi Ka No. Dede.
4.Recharge Karade Kamine.
5.Kuttey ! Kahan Mra Pada Hai.
6.Gate P Aja Jaldi.
7.Yar Meri Bandi Naraz Ho Gai Hai.
Santa: Station jaane k kitne logay?
Rikshawala: 50.
Santa: 20 lelo.
Riksha: 20 main kon le k jaayeega?
Santa: Tum piche bheto hum leke jaayega.
Jb tm angdayi leti ho to mera dm nikal jata hai,
Jb tum angdayi leti ho to mera dm nikal jata hai,
wah wah,
Arey thoda deodrant lagane main tera kya jata hai.
How to reduce weight?
First turn your head to the right and then to the left.
Repeat this one whenever you have given something to eat.
Santa Aur Banta Ki Kaafi Jumm Ke Thukayi Hui.
Par Kyun?
Kyun Ki Dono Ek Birthday Party Mein Muft Ka Khana Khaate Hue Pakde Gaye Aur Puchne Pe Jawab Diya,
Hum To Ladki Walon Ki Taraf Se Hain.
Some Friends Were Sitting Together Somewhere After College Suddenly,
A Boy In Sad Voice: Ek Baat To Pakki Hai Yaar, Agar Wo Meri Nahi Hui To Main Use Kisi Or Ki Bhi Nahi Hone Dunga.
Kamina Friend: Aur Bhai Agar Wo Teri Ho Gayi To Sabki Hone Dega Na.
When Someone Touches You & You Dont Feel It, Its Ignorance.
When Someone Touches You & You Feel It, Its Love.
When Nobody Touches You But You Feel It, Its Khujli.
Santa,Banta: Aaj Tab Tak Piyenge Jb Tak Wo Samne Wale Teen Ped 6nhi Dikhte.
Waiter: Bas Kro Saalo Samne,
1Hi Ped H,
Ab Kya Jungle Banaoge?
Mom: Dekhna bahar baarish ho Rahi hai kya?
Me: Checks facebook,
Everybody updated,
Awesome mausam raining,
Haan maa ,
Bht baarish ho rahi hai.
She: Hello baby, tumhari yaad aa rahi thi.
He: Abhi salary nahi aayi hai meri.
She: Acha chalo papa aa gaye, bye.
Girlfriend: Would You Like To See Magic.
Boyfriend: Ofcourse sweetheart.
Girlfriend: Whooshhw
You Are Single Now.
Chal Bye, Phut Le Ab.
2 sardar ja rahe the.
Raste Me 1000 ka note mila.
1st SARDAR Chalo fifty Fifty le lete he.
2nd sardar Baki 900 ka kya karege.
Ek Dum Latest And Jhakaas Way 2 Propose.
Boy: Xcuse Me
Girl: Jee Kahiye
Boy: Mere Hone Wale Bacho Ki Taraf Se
Apko Happy Mothers DAY.
Mein Tod Leta Agar Tum Gulab Hoti,
Main Jawab Banta Agar Tum Sawal Hoti,
Sabhi Jante Hai Ki Mein Nasha Nahi Karta,
Fir Bhi Pee Lete Agar Tum Sharaab Hoti.
Main kho gaya hu tumhare pyaar me tum bhi kho jao..
If translated in English it becomes:
I am lost in ur love, u also GET LOST
Ek Budha Ek ladki se Takraya.
Budha: Sorry.
Ladki: Andha hai kya ?
Ladki Aage Ek handsome ladka us ladki se takra gaya.
Ladka: Sorry.
Ladki: It’s okay.
Budha ladki se bolta hai MERI SORRY KI SPELLING GALAT THI KYA?
Malik: Maine tujhe machcher marne ko kaha abhi tak tune mare nahi.
Woh ab bhi gun guna kar rahe hai.
Alsi nokar: Malik machcher toh maine maar diye. Yeh toh unki bibi hai jo vidhva ho kar ro rahi hai.
Bhikhari: Beti 10 rupeye de do belence karwakar girlfriend se bat karni he.
Girl: Are wah bhikhari ne bhi girlfriend bana li.
Bhikhari: Are girlfriend ne hi bhikhari banaya he.
Girl: Main Tumhe Apna Dil Nahi DE sakti.
Me: Main. Itni Upar Ki Soch Bhi Nahi Raha Hu.
Teacher Ne Santa Se Class Mein Ek Sawaal Puchha,
Teacher: Cheel Ko English Main Kya Kehte Hain?
Santa: Eagle.
Teacher: Agar Cheel Beemar Ho Jaye To?
Santa: Illegal.
1st Bhoot: tu kaise mara.
2nd Bhoot: thand se, aur tu?
1st Bhoot: Biwi pe shaq tha, pura ghar dhund liya koi nahin mila.
Sharam k mare suicide kar li.
2nd Bhoot: Fridge kholta, dono bach jate.
धृतराष्ट्र : मैं बहुत खुश हूँ प्रिये, तुमने मुझे 100 पुत्र दिये।
गंधारी: ये संभव ना होता स्वामी, अगर आप अंधे ना होते।
धृतराष्ट्र: क्या मतलब ? क्या ये सौ पुत्र मेरे नहीं हैं तो किसके है?
गांधारी: क्या पता? मैनें भी ते आखों पर पट्टी बाँध रखी है !
Mahila Doctor: Tum roj subah clinic ke bahar khade hokar Aurato ko kyun ghoorte ho?
Aadmi: Ji aap ne hi likha hai, Aurato ko dekhne ka samay subah 9 baje se 11 baje tak.