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चमगादड़

एक काली अफ्रीकन लड़की को भगवान ने पंख दिए
तो
वह खुशी से बोली- wow !!
भगवान क्या अब मैं परी बन गई हूं?
भगवान- नहीं रे पगली, तुम अब चमगादड़ बन गई हो।

Uploaded By: Varun Jan,27 2017
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Uploaded By: Sachin Rana Dec,28 2016
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Uploaded By: Mariya Dec,28 2016
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Uploaded By: Rahul Dec,28 2016
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लडकियों से निवेदन हैं कि

Uploaded By: Jessie Nov,7 2016
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भारतीय लोगों में ही पाई जाती है

डकार खाने की प्रोसेस के साथ-साथ भगवान का नाम लेने की
अद्भुत कला सिर्फ भारतीय लोगों में ही पाई जाती है

Uploaded By: Sunny Aug,4 2016
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Roti Melegi


Bhikhari: Babu ji roti melegi?
Ander se avaj ai Bibi ghar per nahi hai.
Bhikhari: CHUMMA nahi manga sale roti mangi hai.

Uploaded By: Viraj Jun,24 2016
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Maine 5000 Kamaye


Me: Papa aaj maine 5000 kamaye.
Dad: Great beta, but how?
Me: Satta lagaya tha IPL match pe.
Dad: Harami kahan se seekha yeh sab.
Me: IIN se.

Uploaded By: Munni Jun,24 2016
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You are Beautiful

GirL to another girl: You are beautiful.
Other girl: Thank you, you are beautiful too.
BOY to another boy: You are handsome.
Other boy: Tu Gay to nahi hai na saale?

Uploaded By: Santi Jun,17 2016
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खुद पी जाता है

गर्मी का आलम ये है की मिटटी का मटका भी आधा पानी गर्मी के मारे खुद पी जाता है

 

Uploaded By: Julie Jun,15 2016
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Teri Coke Se


Lady drinking coke, machhar falls in. Lady takes it out,
Machhar says: MAA.
Lady: Why did you call me MAA?
Machhar: Main teri coke se nikla hoon, MAA.

Uploaded By: Farhan May,17 2016
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20 Saal Ki Ladki

12 Saal K Ladke Ne 20 Saal Ki Ladki Ko Phool Dia

Ladki Ne Kiss Dia
Wo Ghabra K Bhaga

Ladki Ne Pucha:
Kya Hua

Ladka:
Guldasta Le K Aa Raha Hu

Uploaded By: Chameli Apr,14 2016
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भैरो बाबा

हायकोर्ट ने आज ये स्पष्ट किया है क़ि…..
.
.
.
अगर पति परमेश्वर है …!!
.
.
तो….
.
.
.
बॉय फ्रैंड भी
छोटा मोटा भैरो बाबा माना जायेगा ।।।।

Uploaded By: Angel Apr,14 2016
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Mobile Charger

Ek Chor Papu Ka Mobile Ko Lekar Bhar Raha Tha. Papu Hasne Laga
Papu Ka Dost: Wo Tumhare Mobile Ko Lekar Bhag
Raha Hai Aur Tum Hans Rahe Ho.
Papu: Bhagne Do, Charger To Mere Paas Hai.

Uploaded By: Karan Jan,9 2016
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Ban Gayi Ullu

Mujh se break up kar ke tu ban gayi ullu,
Mujh se break up kar ke tu ban gayi ullu,
Maine toh nayi patta li tujhe kya milla,
Babaji ka thullu.

Uploaded By: Poonam Dec,2 2015
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Pass Wale

Husband: Kaha gayab thi 2 ghante se?
Wife: Pass wale Mall me gai thi Darling, shopping karane.
Hubby: Kya kya liya?
Wife: Ek hair band aur 45 selfies.

Uploaded By: Julie Nov,24 2015
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Kaise Pata Chala

Santa Gehri Soch Me.
Wife: Kya Soch Rahe Ho?
Santa: Ye ZEE NEWS Walo Ko Kaise Pata Chalta Hai?
Wife: Kya?
Santa: Yehi Ke, AAP DEKH RAHE HAI ZEE NEWS.

Uploaded By: Poonam Nov,20 2015
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Istri Garm Hai

Dhobi police se: Banta ne meri biwi ki ijjat luti.
Banta: Main press karwane gaya tha,
Dhobi ne kaha main khana kha raha hoon, istri garm hai mar lo.

Uploaded By: Rehan Nov,16 2015
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Pagal Ho Jayega

SANTA Shirt utar ke balcony me tha.
Ek admi: Wah Santa ji Kya chest hai.
SANTA: Are ye to kuchh nahi,
Teri bhabhi ki dekhega to pagal ho jayega.

Uploaded By: Farhan Nov,9 2015
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FAQEER

Aapki yaad mein ek shair arz kiya hai.
Aaj hai mangal, kal tha peer.
Wah wah
Aaj hai mangal, kal tha peer.
Kabhi to kuchh bheja kar FAQEER.

Uploaded By: Praveen Nov,4 2015
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तैरना सीखाऊँ

राजू ने ढाबा खोला
ग्राहक: मेरी चाय मै मक्खी डूब कर मरी पड़ी है |
राजू: तो क्या करू ? मै ढाबा चलाऊ या इन्हे तैरना सीखाऊँ |

Uploaded By: Tia Oct,28 2015
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कुपोसण का शिकार

आज पप्पू ने Science को हिला डाला
Teacher-छिपकली कौन हे?
पप्पू: छिपकली एक गरीब मगरमछ हे जिसे बचपन में Born-Vita नही मिला और वो कुपोसण का शिकार हुई।

Uploaded By: Mahesh Babu Oct,28 2015
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Andar Le Aa

Beti: Maa Gaon mein Group wale aaye hain
Maa: Andar Aaja Inki Niyat Bahut Kharab Hoti Hai
Beti: Maa Admin sahab bhi hain
Maa: To Bakri Ko Bhi Andar Le Aa

Uploaded By: Nikki Oct,26 2015
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डार्लिन

एक लड़की पार्क में बेंच पे बैठी थी,
भिखारी: और डार्लिन कैसी हो?
लड़की: तुम्हारी हिम्मत कैसे हुई
मुझे डार्लिंग कहने की,
भिखारी: मैडम आप मेरे बेड पे बैठी हो,
अब डार्लिंग ना बोलूं तो क्या बोलूं.

Uploaded By: Rahul Sep,24 2015
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Whatsapp

She: Tu Whatsapp Pe Hai Kya?
Me: Nahi Sorry Main,
Whatsapp Pe Nahi Hu,
Whatsapp Mere Phone Me Hai.

Uploaded By: Varun Sep,9 2015
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Wild Life

If a Tiger attacks your mother in law & your wife at the same time, whom will you save?
Husband: Of course the tiger, very few are left now.
A msg from, Save the wild life.

Uploaded By: Varun Aug,31 2015
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MMS For Sonia

Guard enters Sonia Gandhi’s office: Madam aapka MMS aaya hai.
Sonia Gandhi: Oh Noo.
Manmohan Singh enters: Kamino, Mera poora naam liya karo.

Uploaded By: Munni Aug,19 2015
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Master Ka Ghar

Mayavati: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Mayavati ka Funny beta: Haan mami, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.

Uploaded By: Aisha Aug,7 2015
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Ek Kilo De Do

Sabziwala Sabzi Par Paani Chhidak Raha Tha, kaafi Der ho Gayi . 
Customefr gusse mein bola:
Bhaisahab Agar Bhindi ko Hosh Aa Gaya ho to Ek kilo de do...

Uploaded By: Chameli Aug,4 2015
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Toothpaste Istimaal

Girl:Meri 1-1 saans pe 1-1 Ladka Marta Hai..
Boy:"To Tum Koi Accha Sa Toothpaste
Istimaal Kyo Nahi Karti..

Uploaded By: Julie Aug,4 2015
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Yaaro Ki Yaad

Nasha Mohabbat ka ho,
Sharab ka ho ya,
Whatsapp ka ho,
Hosh teeno mein kho jate hai,
Farak sirf itna hai ki,
Whatsapp yaaro ki yaad dila deti hai.
Dedicated to all my lovely friends.

Uploaded By: Santhosh Aug,1 2015
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Ek Mauka

Phone Rings.
Tring, Tring,
Boy: Hello Pappu hai?
Girl: Nahi hai.
Boy: Mujhe Ek Mauka Do,Ho Jayega.

Uploaded By: Sachin Rana Jul,20 2015
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Yaaro Ki Yaad

Nasha Mohabbat ka ho,
Sharab ka ho ya,
Whats App ka ho.
Hosh teeno mein kho jate hai.
Farak sirf itna hai ki,
Sharab saala deti hai,
Mohabbat rula deti hai Aur,
Whats App yaaro ki yaad dila deti hai.

Uploaded By: Sachin Rana Jul,20 2015
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Mera Smartphone

Mujhe ek ladki ka Whatsapp pe msg aya,
Aur boli apni pics Whatsapp Profile pe mat dala karo,
I said why?
Then she said: Lipstick se mera Smartphone ganda ho jata hai.

Uploaded By: Angel Jul,17 2015
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Bhootni Kahi Ki

Ladki pic upload karke likhti hai: Hi friendzz kesi lag rahi hoon?
Boy: tere baap ne 15-20 hazaar ka mobile leke diya hai,
To ghar me 500rs. ka sheesha bhi lagaya hoga,
Uss mein dekh le,
Humse kya poochhti hai Bhootni kahi ki.

Uploaded By: Rehan Jul,17 2015
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Manaate Hi Nahi

Why Boys get Blocked on Whataspp.
After fight Girl: Tum toh mujhe manaate hi nahi?
Boy: Tum kya ho? Diwali ho? EID ho? Ya Holi?
BLOCKED.

Uploaded By: Sophia Jul,17 2015
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Off Kar Ke ON Kar

In India, everyone is expert about mobile problems.
However, the most common solution would be
Switch off kar ke ON kar THEEK ho jayega.

Uploaded By: Julie Jul,16 2015
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Chehre Pe Muskaan

Group Members Chahe Kaise Bhi Ho: Awaara, Pagal aur ya fir Deewane.
Par Jab Unke Message Aate Hai to Chehre pe Muskaan Jaroor Aati Hai.
Tab Mehsus Hota Hai Ki Saale, Tedhe hein Par Mere hai.

Uploaded By: Karan Jul,16 2015
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Group Wala PUJARI

Mobile ek MANDIR hai.
Whatsapp uska DEVTA.
Group Banane Wala PUJARI.
Message Bhejne Wala DANI.
Padhane wala BHAKT.
Aur Reply Na Karne Wala,
Bhikhari.

Uploaded By: Nikki Jul,16 2015
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Jamana Chhod Denge

Ladki: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Ladka: Dahi Jama raha hoon.
Laki: Kab tak jamaoge?
Ladka: Agar tum mil jaao.
Jamana chhod denge hum.

Uploaded By: Farhan Jul,16 2015
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Meri Sharab

Sharaabi (Doctor se): Aaap meri sharab chhudwa sakte ho kya?
Doctor: Haan, kyun nahi.
Sharab: To police ne meri 20 botal pakdi hai, please chhudwa do.

Uploaded By: Julia Jul,16 2015
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Inflation Kya Hai

MBA ki wife: Eji , Yeh inflation kya hai ?
MBA: Pehle tu 36-24-36 thi , ab tu 42-40-48 hai,
Ab tere pass sab kuch pehle se jyada hai par phir bhi teri value kam hai.
Yahi INFLATION hai.

Uploaded By: Julie Jul,16 2015
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Izzat Bech Ke

Lutero ne ladki ke zevar loot liye,
Log bole: Shukar Karo, zevar hi gaye, bhabhi ki izzat to bach gayi.
Bhabhi Chillai: Kamino,
Izzat bech bech ke hi to zevar kharide the.

Uploaded By: Mariya Jul,16 2015
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Main Seeta

Sardar dials a number,
A Girl answered,
Sardar: Hello… kaun?
Girl: Main Seeta.
Sardar: O teri, yeh to ayodhya lag gaya Sorry Maaate.

Uploaded By: Gujju Jul,15 2015
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Gay Marriages

While in India,
Arjun : Mom i wanna marry Vicky.
Mom : that’s not possible.
Arjun : but mom! Same sex marriages are legal now in most parts of the world.
Mom : but he’s not of our caste.

Uploaded By: Karan Jul,15 2015
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GHOR KALYUG

Boy :Chalo kisi sunsaan/viraan jagah chalte hain.
Girl :Tum aisi-waisi harkat to nahi karoge ?
Boy :Bilkul nahi.
Girl :To phir rehne de kameene.

Uploaded By: Shilpa Jul,14 2015
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CYCLE LA DO

Pati: Sex ho jaye?
Wife:Nahi
Pati: Zewar la dunga
W:Nahi
Pati: Car launga
W:Nahi
Beta beech me so raha tha bola: Papa meri gand mar lo par CYCLE la do.

Uploaded By: Mariya Jul,14 2015
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Admin sahab

Beti: Maa Gaon mein Group wale aaye hain.
Maa: Andar aaja inki niyat bahut kharab hoti hai.
Beti: Maa Admin sahab bhi hain.
Maa: To bakri ko bhi andar le aa.

Uploaded By: Neeta Jul,14 2015
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Rone Nahi Denge

Tumhari yaad dil se jaane nahi denge,
Tumhare jesa dost khone bhi nahi denge,
Roj sharafat se SMS kiya karo warna,
Ek kaan ke niche denge aur rone bhi nahi denge.

Uploaded By: Varun Jul,13 2015
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सनी लियॉन In KBC
Rone Nahi Denge

Tumhari yaad dil se jaane nahi denge,
Tumhare jesa dost khone bhi nahi denge,
Roj sharafat se SMS kiya karo warna,
Ek kaan ke niche denge aur rone bhi nahi denge.

Uploaded By: Varun Jul,13 2015
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