STORY
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NON VEG
Teacher: Galti Hone Pe Maafi Magne Wale Ko Kya Kahte Hai?
Santa: Samajhdar.
Teacher: Aur Galti Na Hone Pe Bhi Mafi Mangne Waale Ko Kya Kahte Hai?
Santa: Boyfriend.
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Do Chaar Botlein Rakh Lo Kafan Mein,
Kabr Par Baith Kar Piya Karenge,
Khuda jab Maangega Gunaahon ka Hisaab,
Use Bhi Jaam Bhar Bhar Kar Diya Karengee
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Baby: Mammi Mai Jab Bathroom Karne Gai to Bathroom Ki light Apane Aap Jal Gai.
Mammi: Batmise Aaj Tu Fir Se Frize Main Mut Aai.
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Agar Pyaar Sath Ho To Tanhayi Nahi Hoti.
Sachche Pyaar Mein Kbhi Bewafai Nahi Hoti.
Par Agar Ek Baar Pyaar Ho Jaaye Too.
Kitne Hi Coaching Center Join Kar Loo.
Par Padhaai Nahi Hoti
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Sardar Sex Kr Rha Tha Galti Se Peeche Daal Diya.
Biwi: Oji Truck Galat Gudaam Me Jaa Raha H.
Santa: Ab bata Rhi h Jab Maal Utaar Diya
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Girl: Today I wanna tell you those 3
Magical words..
Boy: Oh, Wow Tell Me Fast.
I have Been Waiting For Them!
Girl: Babaji Ka Thullu .
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Every great dream begins with a dreamer.
Always remember, you have within you the strength,
The patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.
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May your coming year surprise you with the happiness of smiles,
The feeling of love and so on.
I hope you will find plenty of sweet memories to cherish forever.
Happy birthday.
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Biwi ko din me karoge to wo sust rahegi,
Sham ko karoge to chust rahegi
Roj karoge to tandurast rahegi,
Karte rahoge to khush rahegi,
Office se Roj Sirf 1 Call.
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Bhoolna tumhein na asaan hoga,
Jo bhule tumhein woh nadan hoga.
Aap to baste ho rooh mein hamari,
Aap hame na bhule ye apka ehsan hoga.
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Teri dosti hum is tarah nibhayenge,
Tum roz khafa hona hum roz manayenge,
Par man jana manane se,
Warna yeh bhigi palkein le ke hum kaha jayenge.
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How: You lie face down on the bed, legs straight, hips slightly raised.
Benefit: This position creates a snug fit. Your guy's stuff will seem even larger.
Bonus: Some shallow thrusts and deep breathing will help him last longer.
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Aahat see koi aaye toh lagta hain kee tum ho,
Saaya saa koi lehraaye toh lagta hain kee tum ho,
Ab tum hee bataao kya tum kisi bhoot sey kam ho?
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Teacher: Galti hone pe maafi magne wale ko kya kahte hai?
Stud: Samajhdar.
Teacher: Aur galti na hone pe bhi mafi mangne waale ko kya kahte hai?
Stud: BOYFRIEND.
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Jab tum aayine ke paas jate ho,
To aayina kehta hai Beautiful Beautiful,
Jab tum aayine se door jate ho,
To aayina kehta hai April Fool.
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It is a given that you should use professional language during the interview.
Be aware of any inappropriate slang words or references to age, race, religion, politics or sexual orientation.
These topics could send you out the door very quickly.
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Unke Ghar Ke Paas Se Jab Bhi Gujre Unhe Dekhne Ki Koshish Jarur Kare.
Unhe Ye Ehsas Dilana Jaruri Hai Ki Aap Unme Interest Rakhte Hai.
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Dhadkan Dil Ki Ruk Jati Hai,
Sanse Aksar Tham Jati Hai,
Bahut Buri Halat Hoti Hai Yaaro,
Jab GF Se Shaadi Karne Ki Naubat Aati Hai.
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Tujhe pane k Liye kuch b kr skta Hu,
Tere pyar me Ji aur mr skta Hu,
Phir b tu na Mili to ghm Nhi,
ye formula me Dusri pe b try kr skTa Hu.
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Gabbar: Kitne Aadmi the ?
Kalia: Sarkar 1
Gabbar: Aur tum?
Kalia: 100
Gabbar: fir b wapas aa gaye woh b khali hath,
kaun tha woh?
Kalia: RAJNIKANT
Gabbar: Oops, sorry bhai.
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Saanson ka Tutna to aam si Baat hai,
Mere Yaaro.
Jaha Aapne Badal Jaye,
Maut to Usey Kehtey hai.
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Jaam Pe Jaam Peene Ka Kya Fayda,
Sham Ko Pee Subah Utar Jayegi,
Are Peeni Hai To Do Boond Dosti Ke Pee,
Sari Zindagi Fir Bas Nashe Mein Guzar Jayegi.
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DOSTI ka matlab 1pyara sa Dil jo kbhi nafrt nahi krta.
1qute smile jo fiki nahi padti. 1ehasas jo kbhi dukh nahi deta. Or
1Rista jo kbhi khatam nahi hota.
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Dada:Beta Andar Se Mere Daant Lana
Pota:Par Dadu Abi Roti Nhi Bani Hai
Dada:Oye Roti Ko Mar Goli Yar Samnewali Buddhi Ko Smile Deni Hai.
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Wife: Mujhe burger khana hai.
Husbnd ne la kar de diya.
Wife: Thanks.
Husband: sirf thanks?
Wife: Achha to tum kiss chahte ho?
Husband: Bakwas mat kar adha adha kar.
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Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.
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Tarika No. 1 is Valentine Apni Target Ladki ko khush karne ke liye apne kapdon ki style badlo. Abki baar use milo to uppar peele vastra aur niche kaale vastra pehenkar jaana. Phir dekho chamtakaar par chamatkaar.
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Aap Ko Kissi Unknown Number Se Aik Sms Aa Sakta Hai Jis Se Aapki,
Mobile Screen Pe Meri Photo Aa Jaye Gi.
Please Dekhay Bina Delete Kar Dain Kyon Kay Pehlay He Bahut Se,
Log Deewanay Ho Chukay Hain.
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Mohabbat Karli Tumse Bahut Sochne Ke Baad,
Ab Kisi Ko Dekhna Nahi Tumhe Dekhne Ke Baad,
Duniya Chhod Denge Tumhe Pane Ke Baad,
Khuda Maaf Kare Itna Jhooth Bolne Ke Baad.
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Santa Ek Jyotish Ke Paas Kundli Dikhane Gaya.
Jyotish: Tera Naam Santa Singh Hai?
Santa: Ji Maharaj.
Jyotish: Tujhe Do Ladki & Ek Ladka Hai?
Santa: Ji Maharaj.
Jyotish: Tune Abhi 10 Kilo Chawal Kharide Hai?
Santa: Haan, Oye Aap To Antaryami Ho.
Jyotish: Bete Agli Baar Aana, To Kundli Lana Ration Card Nahi.
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Santa Apne Motaape Ki Wajah Se Tang Aa Kar Doctor Ke Paas Gaya.
Santa: Doctor Sahab Is Mote Pet Ka Kuch Karo.
Doctor: Iska To Sirf Ek Hi Ilaaj Hai.
Santa: Wo Kya Doctor Sahab?
Doctor: Tum Roz Sirf Do Hi Rotiyan Khaya Karo.
Santa: Hmm, Par Ye Do Rotiya Khaane Se Pehle Khani Hai Ya Baad Mein?
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Aap Khud Nahi Janti Aap Kitni Pyari Ho,
Jaan Ho Hamari Par Jaan Se Pyari Ho,
Duriyon K Hone Se Koi Fark Nahi Padta,
Aap Ki Bhi Hamari Thi Or Aaj Bhi Hamari Ho.
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हमें कोई ग़म नहीं था ग़म ए आशिक़ी से पहले,
न थी दुश्मनी किसी से तेरी दोस्ती से पहले,
है ये मेरी बदनसीबी तेरा क्या कुसूर इसमें,
तेरे ग़म ने मार डाला मुझे ज़िन्दग़ी से पहले।
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Santa Ko Beta Hua.
Use Jyotish Ke Pass Le Gaye.
Jyotish: Ye Jiska Naam Pehle Bolega Wo mar Jyega.
Baccha Bola PAPA Aur Dusre Din Padosi Mar Gya.
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Wo Muskura Rahe Hai Hume Tanha Chod Kar,
Kiye Huye Saare Waado Ko Tod Kar.
Unke Siva Kahi Dil Lagta Bhi Nahi,
Ab Kya Karenge Hum Apne Toote Huye Dil Ko Jod Kar.
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दुखी माँ बाबा से: बाबा जी मेरे 1000/- रुपये वापस करो।
बाबा: क्यों बालिके?
माँ: आप ने कहा था सब शनि का दोष है, इसलिए बेटा नहीं पढ़ता। मैंने शनिवार के व्रत रखे, तेल चढ़ाया, मेरे बेटे ने रात भर कंप्यूटर पे पढ़ाई की फिर भी फेल हो गया।
बाबा: बालिके मैंने तो कहा था कि सब "सनी" का दोष है।
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Madan, Mohan, Malveya Madras mein machhli maarte maarte mare.
554
I thought I thought of thinking of thanking you.
284
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream.
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210
762
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CHAND NE CHANDNI KO YAAD KIYA,
RAAT NE SITARO KO YAAD KIYA,
HUMARE PAAS NA TO CHAND HAI NA CHANDNI,
ISLIYE HUMNE APNE CHAND SE BHI PYARE DOST KO YAAD KIYA,
GOOD NIGHT.
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THAKANPUR se FRESHNAGAR,
Tak ane wali NINDIYA xpress,
Prabhat Nagar pahuch chuki hai,
Yatriyo se anurodh hai K wo apne,
Hasin Sapno se Jaag jae.
GOOD MORNING.
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Girl to rikshawala: Q bhai jaye ga?
Riksha Wala : Zaroor Jaye ga,
Abhi abhi to Oil lga kar khara kia hai.
Girl: To phir Ghuma kar peechay le loo.
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Dil Ko Mila Sukun Koi Hamein Yaad To Karta Hai,
Yaad Na Sahi Fariyaad To Karta Hai,
Aankhon Ne Dundh Liya Hai Aisa Dost,
Jo Baat Na Sahi SMS To Karta Hai.
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