Kab Unki Aankho Se Izhar Hoga,
Dil Ke Kisi Kone Mei Hamare Liye Pyar Hoga,
Guzar Rahi He Raat Unki Yaad Me,
Kabi to Unko Bhi Hamara Intzar Hoga.
Arjun: Dekh teri biwi ko saanp
Kaat rha hai, Kuch to kar.
Kapil: Abey wo kaat nhi rha hai.
Uska zehar khatam ho gya hai,
To wo recharge karwane aaya hai.
Khushi Ke Aasu Rukne Na Dena
Gum Ke Aasu Bahne Na Dena
Yeh Zindagi Na Jane Kab Ruk Jayegi
Magar Ye Pyari Si Relationsip Kabhi Tutne Na Dena.
The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind.
But the goodness of a person spreads in all directions.
May this holiday season sparkle and shine,
May all of your wishes and dreams come true,
And may you feel this happiness all year round.
Once Rajni was the guest contestant in KBC.
Amitabh says: Computerji Rajnikantji to phela sawaal poochiye.
Computer: Main lifeline use karna chahta hu.
Dil mein chhipi yaadon se sawaru tujhe,
Tu dekhe to apni ankho me utaru tujhe,
Tere naam ko labo pe aise sajaya hain,
So bhi jaau to khawbo me pukaru tujhe.
A sardar asked his frend, Kya tumharay underwear mein suraakh hain? Frend replied: No. Sardar said, to phir taangain kahan se daalta hai saalay.
Uncle: Beta Kya Karte Ho?
Pappu: Uncle Babu Hun.
Uncle: Achha Beta Clerk Ho.
Pappu: Nahi Uncle Aapki Beti Ka,
Wo Hamesha Mujhe Kehti Hai Mela Babu.
Duriyon Ki Na parwah Kijiye,
Dil Jab Bhi Pukare Hume Bula Lijiye,
Hum Zyada Dur Nahi Aapse,
Bas Apni Aankho Ko Palko Se Mila Lijiye.
1 Buddha PCO Par Gaya,
Waha Kursi Par Ek Ladki Bethi Thi,
Ladki Boli: Baba Kaha Karoge?
Wo Sharma K Bola: Kursi Par To Hoga Nahi,
Nichey Hi Bori Bichha Lo.
Santa banta new jokes ‚
Santa Banta Ko Thappad Mara.
Banta: Ye Tune Mazak Me Maara Ya Seriously.
Santa: Seriously.
Banta: Fir Thik Hai,Muze Mazak Bilkul Pasand Nahi.
Majburi Mein Jab Koi Juda Hota Hai,
Zaroori Nahi Ki Wo Bewafa Hota Hai,
De Kar Wo Aapki Aankhon Mein Aansu,
Akele Mein Aapse Bhi Zyada Rota Hai!
Pyar sacha ho to waqt ruk jata hai,
Asman lakh uncha ho magar jhuk jata hai,
Pyar me duniya lakh bane rukawat,
Agar humsafar sacha ho to khuda bhi jhuk jata hai.
Chhupa Leta Tujhe Is Tarah Se Meri Baahon Mein,
Hawa Bhi Guzrjane Ke Liye Izazat Maange,
Ho Jaaye Tere Ishq Mein Madhosh Is Tarah Ki,
Hosh Bhi Wapas Aane Ki Izaazat Maange.
Ek mahila apne kutte ko lekar jaanvaro ke doctor ke paas gai aur boli: Doctor sahab, iski dum kaat deejiye.
Doctor: Kyon?
Mahila: Isliye ki parson meri saas aa rahi hai aur mai nahi chaahti ki mere ghar me kisi bhi tarah se uska swaagat ho.
Ek Banda Jungle Mein Sunsan Sa Dekh Kar Nadi Mein Kapde Utarkar Nahane Chala Jata Hai.
Nahane Ke Baad Jab Vo Vaapis Aata Hai To Sare Jaanwar Usko Dekh Kar Hass Rahe Hote Hai.
Aur Ek Bandar Bolta Hai: Arey Dekho To Iski Poonch To Aage Hai.
Ja Rahe Hum Marne Aj Man Udas Hai
Yaad Nai Kiya Usne Jiski Muje Aas Hai Muje
Bhul Gye Wo Jo Sabse Khas Hai .
Chalo Ab Msg Kro Upar Likha Sab Bakwaas Hai.
Do Din Light Jane Ki Wajah Pata Chal Gayi Hai.
Rajanikanth Apna Mobile Aur New Tablet Charge Kar Raha Tha.
Zindagi Hasne Ka Naam Hai,
Rona Kis Kaam Ka,
Jaane Wale Chale Gaye,
Unke Liye Dil Dukhana Kis Kaam Ka.
Breaking News: Today,
Ek Train Cycle Ki Chapet Me aayi.
Train Me sawaar Sabhi Log Maare Gaye.
Cycle Driver RAJNIKANTH Farrar.
Bhool jane ka housla na tha na hoga,
Door reh kar bhi ye dil tumse juda hai na hoga.
Tumse mil kar kisi our se kyun mile,
Tumhare jesa na koi tha, na hai, na hoga.
Amitabh: Rajni ji ke lie pehla question pesh kia jae.
Computer screen Can I use a life line.
Shayari Krna Koi Sasti Nahi,
Shayari Krna Koi Sasti Nahi,
Aur Jo Ladki Aapki Tarf Dekhkar Hasti Nahi,
To Samjh Lo Ki Wo Tooth Paste Krti Nahi.
Life Mein Kabhi Compromise Karna Pade To Do not Hesitate, Bcoz.
Jhukta Wahi Hai Jisme Jaan Hoti Hai.
Akad Hi To Murde Ki Pehchan Hoti Hai.
Cycle Wale Ne Ek Aadmi Ko Takkar Maar Di Aur Bola.
Cycle Wala: Aap Bahut Lucky Ho.
Aadmi: Oye, Ek To Mujhe Cycle Maari Aur Upar Se Keh Raha Hai Main Lucky Hoon, Kaise?
Cycle Wala: Aaj Meri Chutti Hai Nahi To Main Truck Chalata Hoon.
Jo ankhe band karke prem kare wo hai,
PREMIKA.
Jo ankhe band hone tak prem kare wo hai,
MAA.
Jo ankhe dikha dikha kar prem kare wo hai,
PATNI.
Muddataine hue dekhe hue chehra tera,
Gum nahi he,
Qki chehre se bas surat bayan hoti hai,
teri meri dosti wo hai jo dilo ke darmayan hoti hai.
Dhadkan Dil Ki Ruk Jati Hai,
Sanse Aksar Tham Jati Hai,
Bahut Buri Halat Hoti Hai Yaaro,
Jab GF Se Shaadi Karne Ki Naubat Aati Hai.
Son: Why mom u r white and i am black?
Mom Replied: Listen son, Considering all the,
Crazy things i did years ago, u should be thankful,
That u r not barking.
Kapil: 1 ladka ladki ka pichha kr raha tha.
Sumona:Tumhe pata he, pichhe meri MAA aa rahi he.
Kapil: Hum to khandani aashiq he,
Teri MAA k pichhe dekh mera BAAP bhi aa raha he.
Boy: Sweetie,Lets play a game.
Girl: What game?
Boy: Anything but not hide n seek.
Girl: Why?
Boy: Bcoz a girl like you is impossible to find.
Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.”
You cannot travel the path until you have become the path itself
The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart.
Jab Bhi Use Milo To Alag-Alag Gaadi Bike ke Saath Milna.
Apne Doston Se Unki Gaadi Bike Udhaar Le Liya Karo Ek Din Ke Liye.
Use Lagega Ki Tum Karodpati Se Kam Nahi Aur wo Pat Jayegi.
Establish boundaries. Be careful to not share too much on a first date. This isn’t an arranged marriage;
you’ll have second and third dates to share more. Be clear about physical boundaries if he’s over-eager. Sex on a first date is never, ever a good idea.
Don’t drink too much. A glass of wine is fine, but try to get to know each other sober. You can always drink on your honeymoon.
Lady To Doctor: Sir Inki Bimari Theek Kro Ye
Neend Me Mera Naam Jor Jor Se Pukarte Hai
Doctor : Ye Toh App Ke liye Khusi Ki Baat Hai
Lady: Kal Inki Wife Apne Mayke Se Ane Wali Hai
Gal: Is Dress Ka Kya Price Hai?
Shopkeeper: Sirf 5 kiss.
Girl: Aur Us Dress Ka?
Shopkeeper: 10 kiss.
Girl: Dono dress pack kar do, bill dadi dengi.
Rajinikanth got selected in Roadies.
Next day during vote-out,
RAJINIKANTH: I'm sorry Raghu, apka Roadies ka safar yahi khatam hota hai.
RajnI RocKzZ.
RaghU ShOckzZ.
Banta Apni Job Ke Liye Ek Company Mein Interview Dene Gaya.
Interviewer Ne Banta Se Puchha: Landline Aur Cellphone Mein Kya Farak Hai?
Intelligent Answer By Banta: Landline Mein Number Ungliyon Se Dial Karna Padta Hai Aur Cellphone Mein Anguthe.