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एक नए टीचर ने क्लास में पूछा : भारत के एक महान वैज्ञानिक का नाम बताओ ..?

स्टूडेंट :  सर, आलिया भट्ट..

टीचर : छड़ी लेकर .. यही सीखे हो ?

दूसरा : ये तोतला है सर..  आर्यभट्ट बोल रहा है 

Apr,24 2020
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

जीवन में कम से कम एक सच्चा मित्र हमेशा अपने पास रखो

ताकि…..
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जिस दिन आपके यहाँ तुरई, करेला या लाैकी की सब्जी बने उस दिन उसके घर जाकर खाना खा सको…..।

Apr,21 2020
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
आज तक

लोग कुछ दिन सिगरेट शराब पीते हैं और आदत लग जाती है।
हमको देखो..
हम बचपन से पढ़ाई कर रहे हैं,लेकिन आज तक आदत नहीं लगी।
खुद पर कंट्रोल होना चाहिए।

Jan,10 2017
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
सभी पे तो कुछ भी नहीं बचेगा

Oct,21 2016
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
सनी लियोन नाचेगी

मकान मालिक संता से लाओ किराया निकालो
संता: कैसा कमरा है सारी रात चूहे डांस करते हैं?
मालिक: नहीं तो 600 रुपये में क्या सनी लियोन नाचेगी

Oct,17 2016
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
शादीशुदा सब्जी लाता है

अकेला आदमी परिवर्तन लाता है
और शादीशुदा सब्जी लाता है

Sep,29 2016
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
सब्जी खरीदने

आजकल की लडकियों के हैण्ड बैग देखकर समझ नहीं आता की कॉलेज जा रही हैं
या ऑफिस जा रही है या सब्जी खरीदने.

Jul,18 2016
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
तेरा अक्स गढ़

तेरा अक्स गढ़ गया है, आँखों में कुछ ऐसा;
सामने खुदा भी हो तो, दिखता है हू-ब-हू तुझ जैसा

Jun,28 2016
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
फटे हाल में

पांच के नोट सी हो गयी है
जिंदगी चलती तो है पर फटे हाल में

Apr,22 2016
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
हिला रहा है

स्कूल टाइम में की हुई सबसे फेमस शिकायत
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मेडम ये हिला रहा है लिखने नहीं देता ..

Apr,14 2016
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
सिस्टर कहना पड़ता हें

जिस हॉस्पिटल के हम डॉक्टर हैं,
हमारी पत्नी वहा की नर्स हैं
क्या अजीब ज़ुल्म सहना पड़ता हैं
अपनी ही बीवी को सिस्टर कहना पड़ता हें

Mar,17 2016
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Stylish Santa

Santa Bike Se Ja Raha Tha,
Ladki Ko Dekh Achanak Gir Gaya.
Ladki Oh My God Lagi To Nahi.
Santa: Nah Nah Eh Ta Yaara Da Utran Da Style Hai.

Mar,8 2016
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Selfie Time

Boy: Khana bana leti ho.
Girl: Nahi.
Boy: Aur kuch bana leti ho?
Girl: Haan selfie lete time mu bana leti hu.

Nov,24 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
NASA Closed

Breaking News.
NASA closed.
Rajnikant bought all the rockets for diwali.

Nov,14 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Simran to Doctor

Simran to Doctor :
Maine Galti se Meri Bhabhi ki
IPill Kha li,
Kya Kru?
Dr: Bindaas Ghoomo
Dosto ko Khush Karo,
72 Ghanto k Liye
Prepaid ho Gayi ho..
Jaa Simran Jaa..
Jee le Apni Zindagi.

Oct,26 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Refuse

Hume tumse Love hai.
Please refuse na karna.
Ye zero watt ka hope bulb hai.
Please ise fuse na karna.

Oct,24 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Message Box

Zindagi behaal hai,
Sur hai na taal hai,
Msg box bhi kangal hai,
kya aapki sms factory me hartal hai,
Yaar kuch to bhejo ye meri mobile ki zindagi ka sawaal hai.

Oct,23 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Chand Taare

Teray liye chand taray tor doon,
In hawaon ka rukh mor doon,
Itna kafi hai ya do char jhoot aur bol doon.

Oct,20 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Body Language

Did you know that 90% of what you say to someone is non verbal? Showing the proper flirting  body language signals sends a signal to a girl that your a high status male that is in control and comfortable in social situations.

Oct,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Romantic Phrase

Kapil Sharma is trying to translate a Hindi romantic phrase into English.
Hindi Main: Mein Kho Gaya Hun Tere Pyar Mein, Ab Tum Bhi Kho Jao.
English Main: Iam Lost In Your Love, Now You Get Lost.

Oct,7 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Murgi

Rajnikanth Ek Murgi Ko Dhamkaate Hue,
Rajnikanth: Oye Murgi, Tujhe 2 Ande Dene Ke Liye Kaha Tha To Tune Ek Kyun Diya?
Tujhe Mujh Se Darr Nahi Lagta Kya?
Murgi Rote Hue: Sir Ji, Darr Ki Wajah Se Hi To Ek Nikaal Diya, Main To Murga Hun.

Sep,30 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Opportunity

Why are you looking for a new opportunity now?

Sep,28 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Thumb

Rule of thumb.

Sep,14 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Bat

Black back bat. (x3)

Sep,14 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Jyotish

Sep,9 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Meri Zindagi

Sep,8 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Paper Main

Father to his son: How was the paper?
Son: Bas pehla sawal chut gaya.
Father: Acha,aur baki?
Son: 3rd mujhe ata nahi tha, 4th main karna bhul gya,
5th mujhe nazar nahi aya nd 6th paper ki pichli taraf tha meine dekha nahi.
Father gusse me bola: Aur 2nd ques?
Son: Bas sirf wahi galat hua hai.

Sep,8 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Din Main

Din main sota hai,
Raat ko jagta hai,
Din main leta rehta hai,
Raat ko khara rehta hai,
Its choukidar.

Sep,7 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Sarabi

Sep,4 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Prem Sukh

Sep,3 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Unki Pasand k

Unki Pasand ko Jaanein
Khoobsurat Dikhne Mein Koi Kasar Na Chhodein
Koi Pyaara Sa Gift Present Karein
Unko Complement Dein
Unke friends se Friendship Badayein

Aug,18 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
School Ahead

Teacher: Why are you late?
Santa: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Santa: The one that says,
School Ahead, Go Slow.

Aug,17 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Live Concert

Boy: Tum Gana Bohot,
Acha Gati Ho,
Girl: Thanx But I Am,
Just Bathroom Singer.
Boy: To Bulao Na Kabi,
Apne Live Concert Pay.

Aug,12 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Manane Ki Wajah

Tum hansti ho mujhe hasane k liye,
Tum roti ho mujhe rulane k liye,
Tum ek bar ruuthkar to dekho,
Mar bhi Jaunga tumhein manane k liye.

Aug,7 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Pyar Ke Tarike

Teacher: How many months r there in a year.
Kid: 12.
Teacher: Wow how do u know.
kid: 12 Mahine Me,
12 tarike se tujko,
Pyar Jatau Ga Re.
DHINKA CHIKA DHINKA CHIKA.

Aug,1 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
MOHABBAT Ka Chand

NEW GENRATION: CHAND KO BHI MIL GAI
CHANDNI TARO KA KYA HOGA.
MOHABBAT EK HI SE KARLI,
TO BAKI HAZARON KA KYA HOGA.

Jul,29 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Dosti Ek Ittefak

Rishton k bandhan ko vishwas nahi kahte,
Har aansoo ko jajbat nahi kahte.
Kismat se milte hai dost jindagi me,
Isliye dosti ko kabhi ittefak nahi kahte

Jul,28 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Funny Traveler

Jul,23 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
SBI Girl

Boy: I love you.
SBI Girl: Abhi lunch time hai baad mein aao.
Boy comes after 1 hr,
Boy: I love you.
sbi GIRL: I have a boyfriend.

Jul,22 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Impact Of Movies

Teacher: Who is Mahatma Gandhi?
Student: He is the one who helped.
Munna Bhai to impress his girlfriend.

Jul,21 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Gas Subsidy Ka Sach

Jis desh ke log pait me gas chhodkr

Ye nai mante ki gas unhone chhodi hai

Modi unse gas subsidy chhodne ko keh raha hai.

Jul,20 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Your Sister

Kapil: If I die, will you remarry?
Sumona: Of course no, darling, I will stay with my sister.
And if I die, will you remarry?
Kapil: No, I will also stay with your sister.

Jul,20 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
A Rainbow

Everybody wants happiness nobody wants pain but you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain.

Jul,20 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Ghutno Pe Chal K

Banta Santa se: Biwi se Jhagda Solve hua kya?
Santa: Wo to hona hi tha Ghutno pe Chal k,
Aayi thi Mere Paas.
Banta: Fir kya hua wo Kya Boli?
Santa:Boli Palang k,
Neeche se Nikal Aao Ab Nahi Maarungi.

Jul,16 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Worth Living

5. An unexamined life is not worth living. –Socrates
6. Eighty percent of success is showing up. –Woody Allen
7. Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. –Steve Jobs
8. Winning isn’t everything, but wanting to win is. –Vince Lombardi

Jul,15 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Baba Ram Dev

1 bar 1 ladke ne rajnikant ki beti ko aankh mar di
rajnikant ne uski gardan,hath aur per marod diye
aaj us ladke ko duniya ‘Baba Ramdev, ke naam se janti hai…

Jul,14 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Kyn Nahi Nikala

P. Nehru was f**king Victoria.
On climax, Nehru droped semen on bed.
Victoria: Andar kyun nahi nikala?
Nehru: Gandhiji ne desi maal videsh bhejne ko mana kiya hai

Jul,14 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Questions Ask In Interview

Can you work under pressure?
Are you willing to relocate or travel?
What are your goals?
What motivates you to do good job?
What makes you angry?
Give me an example of your creativity.

Jul,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Life And Reality

Act as If What you Intend to Manifest in Life is Already a Reality

Jul,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
RajniKant Ka Rupya

Rajnikant ka 1 rs balkani se gir gaya,
Rajanikant niche pahuncha to rupya nahi mila?
Kyu?
Kyu ki Rajanikant Rupaye se pahele niche pahunch gaya tha.

Jul,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
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