Man: Santa where U born?
Santa: Punjab.
Man: Which part?
Santa: Oye part part kya kar raha hai,
Whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar.
Biwi raat me kapde utrte hue,
Tirchi nazar se Santa ki traf dekte hue boli:
Pata he na kya karna hai?
Santa: Teri aisi ki taisi,
Me itni rat ko kpde nahi dhounga.
Boy: Khana bana leti ho.
Girl: Nahi.
Boy: Aur kuch bana leti ho?
Girl: Haan selfie lete time mu bana leti hu.
Yaad Rukti Nahi Rok Paane Se,
Dil Maanta Nahi Kisi Ke Manane Se,
Ruk Jaati Hain Dhadkane Aapko Bhool Jaane Se,
Isliye Aapko Yaad Karte Hain Jeene Ke Bahane Se.
Girl: Kya tum mujhse pyar karte ho?
Boy: Haan.
Girl: Lekin tume to meri parwaah hi nahi.
Boy: Oye pyar karne wale kisi ki parwaah nahi karte.
Dadi: Gandhiji, Krishna aur Jesus me kya similarity hai?
Kapil: Are, teeno ka birthday holiday pe aata hai.
Guitar sikha tha jis ko patane ke liye.
Aaj offer aaya hai.
Usi ki shaadi me bajane ke liye.
Mohabbat k raste me har waqt dard milega,
Mohabbat k raste me har waqt dard milega,
Meri mano,
Isi raste par medical store khol do mast chalega.
Dosti Ka Haq Hum Yun Ada Karte Hain,
Dost Ke Naam Per Jaan Fida Karte Hain,
Tumhe Phool Ka Zakham Bhi Na Anne Paye,
Allah Se Roz Yeh Dua Karte Hain.
Wife: Bohot Machhar kaat rahe hain.
Misba Ul Haq: Goodnight ya All Out?
Wife: Goodnight laga do.
All out to aap roz hi hote ho.
Duriyo Se Koi Fark Nahi Padta,
Baat To Dilo Ki Nazdikiyo Se Hoti Hai,
Dosti To Kuch Aap Jaiso Se Hai,
Warna Mulaqat To Jane Kitno Se Hoti Hai.
Girlfrnd chahe jitne b buri ban jai,
Kbhi us se dosti mat torna.
Q k Pani chahe jitna bhi ganda ho jai,
Aag bhujane k liye kafi hota h.
Mohabbat Karli Tumse Bahut Sochne Ke Baad,
Ab Kisi Ko Dekhna Nahi Tumhe Dekhne Ke Baad,
Duniya Chhod Denge Tumhe Pane Ke Baad,
Khuda Maaf Kare Itna Jhooth Bolne Ke Baad.
Teacher: Cow Hamari Mata hai.
School k bahar 1 Cow road pe ghum rhi thi
Santa: Sir Sir, Baahar Aapki Mummy Awara SAANDO k sath Ghoom Rahi hai.
Ek bar Rajnikant ne ek chote kamjor bachche ko blood donate kiya.
Pata hai aaj us bachche ko sabhi kis name se jante hai?
Anyone guess
The Great Khali.
Ladki Saath Ho Toh Restaurant Ka Bill,
Ladki Door Ho Toh Mobile Ka Bill,
Aur
Ladki Hamesha Ke Liye Hi Door Ho Jaye Toh,
Daru Ka Bill.
Isliye Na Lagao Dil, Na Aayega Bill.
Great attitude is like a perfect cup of coffee,
Do not start you day without it.
Good morning.
Doctor: Jab aapko pata tha ki chipkali aapke muh me ja rahi hai to aap chup kyu the?
Patient: Isse phele cockroch gaya tha to mujhe laga ki chipkali usko paked legi
Mom: Kaun tha phone par?
Me: Friend thi.
Mom: Vaastav mein bta kaun tha?
Me: Sanjay Dutt.
Husband: Meri wife gum ho gye Hai.
Post Master: Andhe ye post office hai,
Police Station jao.
Husband: Maaf kijye ga khusi
me smjh nhi a rha kidhr jau?
Bittu: I sent Love letters to my Girl Friend everyday for 2 years !
Chotu : Then what happenned ?
Bittu : She Married the ‘Postman’
Ja Rahe Hum Marne Aaj Man Udas Hai
Yaad Nai kiya Usne jiski Muje Aas Hai Muje
Bhul Gye Wo Jo Sabse Khas Hai
Chalo Aab Msg Kro Upar Likha Sab Bakwaas Hai.
Mariz: Pehle Aap Waada Kare ke Hasse Ge Nahi,
Dr.: G Promise
Mariz ne Lulli Nikaali jo Machis ki Teeli Jitni Thi
Dr. Ki Hassi Nikal Gai.
Mariz: Aapne na Hassne ka Waada Kia Tha
Dr.: Ok Serious.. Ab Masla Batao?
Mariz: Dr. Sahb, Ye Sooj Gai Hai.
Dr: Hahahaha Hahahahaha O Teri Phen di.
Larka to Class fellows: Tum pass ho gai ho,
Congrates,
Mouh hi metha krwa do.
Larki: Kiss se?
Larka: Chalo isi see krwa do.
Saas Apni Bahu Se Ek Pota Mangte Hue.
Saas: Bas Bahu Jaldi Se Mujhe Ek Pota De De.
Bahu: Sirf Ek, Aapka Beta To Mujhe Aise Chodta Hai Jaise Bal Divas Ki Rally Meri Chut Mein Se Hi Niklegi.
Nawab wife se sex karte hue Achanak 1 hath upar kar k GOL GOL Ghumaane laga.
Wife: Ye kya tha?
Nawab: Chalo Begum Ab Palat Jao, Hamne POWER PLAY Le Liya Hai.
Tumhari is ada ka kya jawab du,
Apne dost ko kya uphar du,
Koi achcha sa phool hota to mali se mangvata,
Jo khud gulab hai usko kya gulab du.
Santa ne bhagte huye Bus pakdi aur Driver se puchha.
Santa: Bus teri Maa lagti he?
Bus Driver: Nahi.
Santa: Behen?
Bus Driver: Nahi.
Santa: Biwi?
Bus Driver: Nahi.
Santa: To kamine PAKDNE kyo nhi deta.
Suhagraat ko husband wife se bolta hai: Ijaajat hai?
Wife: Hai ji.
Husband sari raat sex karta hai aur wife Bimar ho jati hai.
Husband wife ko sasural chodd kar wapas aane ke liye apni Saas se bolta hai: Ijaajat hai?
Wife jor se chilla kar bolti hai: Maa ijaajat mat dena, nahi to tumhari bhi Phaad daalega.
Fan pe latki Mundi
Khidki se tumhe
dekhti Aatma
Bed ke niche bethi Chudel
Parde ke piche sarkati Lash
In sabki taraf dhyan mat dena
aaram se sona…
GOOD NIGHT
A Naughty Caller: Hello, Dominos?
Yes Sir, How May I Help U?
Bhai Pizza Ghar Pe Kaise Banau?
Btaiyo Zara.
Mujhko phir wahi suhana nazara mil gaya,
Nazron ko jo deedar tumhara mil gaya,
Aur kisi cheez ki tamanna kyun karu,
Jab mujhe teri baahon me sahara mil gaya.
Use A Staple Remover To Save Your Finger Nails When Trying To Add Things To Your Key Ring.
लड़कीः इतनी गौर से क्यों देख रहे हो तुम्हारी कोई बहन नहीं है क्या?
ME: बहन है इसलिए ही तो देख रहा हूं
उसने कहा है भैय्या कॉलेज से भाभी लाना.
Teri aankhon ki namkeen mastiyaan,
Teri hansi ki beparwah gustaakhiyaan,
Teri zulfon ki lehraati angdaaiyaan,
Nahin bhoolunga main,
Jab tak hai jaan, Jab tak hai jaan.
Samjhte The Hum Unki Har Baat,
Wo Har Baar Hume Dhoka Dete The,
Par Hum Bhi Dil Ke Haatho Majbur The,
Jo Har Baar Unhe Mauka Dete The.
A kiss is just a kiss,
Till U find the one U love,
A hug is just a hug,
Till U find the one,
You are always thinking of,
A dream is just a dream,
Till it comes true,
Love was just a word,
Till I heard it from U.
Do not go too fast. It may seem exciting to bounce off him really fast, but you will get tired really fast. And most importantly, you will ruin the sex.