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Sneha's Joke
Khuda Se Hisaab

Bottle Chupa Dena Kafan Mein Mere,
Shamshan Mein Baith Kar Piya Karuga,
Khuda Maangega Jab Hisaab Mujhse,
Ek Ek Peg Bana Kar Diya Karunga.

Nov,10 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Rab Ruthe

Dost ruthe to rab ruthe,
Fir ruthe to jag chhute,
Agar fir ruthe dil tute,
Aur agar fir ruthe?
Nikal danda.
Maar sale ko jab tak danda na tute.

Nov,9 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Rab Ruthe

Dost ruthe to rab ruthe,
Fir ruthe to jag chhute,
Agar fir ruthe dil tute,
Aur agar fir ruthe?
Nikal danda.
Maar sale ko jab tak danda na tute.

Nov,9 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Mere Sir Me

Sunny loene: Get ready to Die.
Alok Nath: Par mere sir me to baal hi nai hai Beti.

Nov,4 2015
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Yaad Aayegi

Ek tu teri aawaz yaad aayegi,
Teri kahi huwi har baat yaad aayegi,
Din dhal jayega raat yaad aayegi,
Har lamha pahli mulakat yaad aayegi.

 

Nov,4 2015
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Kitni Sachhai

Haqiqat Mohabbat Ki Judaai Hoti Hai,
Kabhi Kabhi Pyar Main Bewafai Hoti Hai,
Humari Taraf Haath Badhaa Kar Toh Dekh,
Dosti Main Kitni Sachhai Hoti Hai.

Nov,4 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Order Order

SANTA went to court.
JUDGE: Order Order.
SANTA: 1 Pizza, 2 Dosa, 3 Idli & 1 Cold drink.
JUDGE: Shut Up.
SANTA: No No 7 Up.

Nov,4 2015
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Best Jodi

Dadi: Teri aur bahu ki jodi toh Ram Sita ki jodi hai.
Kapil: Kahan Dadi,
Na toh yeh dharti mein samati hai, na hi ise Koi Rawan le jata hai.

Nov,2 2015
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Graduation Speech

True Graduation Speech:
First I would like to thank Google.
Secondly, to Copy Paste and thirdly,
to the thank Xerox machine!

Oct,30 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Beti Ki Shaadi

Oct,29 2015
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Answer

Pappu: Sir Humara Poty Aaya Hai.
Math Teacher: To Main Kya Karu?
Toilet Chala Jaa.
Pappu: Up Galat Samajhra Sir,
Humara Answer Poty (40) Aaya Hai.

Oct,28 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Aadat Gayi Nhi

Pati: Tere Baap Ki Ungli Karne Ki Aadat Gayi Nahi?
Biwi: Kyu? Ab Kya Hua?
Pati: Aaj Phir Se Pooch Rahe The,
Meri Beti Se Shaadi Karke Khush Ho Na.

Oct,28 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Hamari Mange

College ki girls ne strike kiya,
boys ne unka sath diya.
Girls ne zor zor se kaha,hamari maage,
boys ne piche se kaha,sindur se bharo.

Oct,28 2015
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Kitaab

Teacher: Yeh kitab kiski hai?
Student: Sir, kagaj ki.
Teacher: Yeh toh mujhe bhi pataa hai.
Student: Sir, phir puchh kyon rahe hai.

Oct,28 2015
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Speed Breaker

Sardaar raat ko cycle le ke qabristan main ghus gaya.
Phir dusri side se bahar nikla,
Aur paseena ponchhty hue bola: Yaar, ye konsa road tha?
Itne sare speed breaker.

Oct,28 2015
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Sanskar

Bahu: Babu jee, I'm going to Mall with my friends.
Alok Nath: OK... but take my Sanskar.
Bahu: Abb Bass Bhi Kijiye.
Alok Nath: I said... take my "Son's Car"!

Oct,27 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Mera Dushman

Pathan: Wo Jo Table pe Aadmi Baitha Hai us se Hamara Dushmani Hai,
Dost: Table pe to 4 Aadmi Hain
Khan: Wo Jiski Muchhein Hain
Dost: Muchhin to sub ki Hain.
Khan: Wo Jis k Safed Kapre Hain.
Dost: Wo to Sub ke Safed Hain
Khan ne Gusse Mein Pistol Nikala Aur 3 Aadmion ko Maar Kar Bola,
Wo jo Reh Gaya Hai Usko Hum Nahi Chhorega.

Oct,26 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Baat Hoti Hai

Sukun Milta Hai Jab Unse Baat Hoti Hai
Hazar Raaton Mein Wo Ek Raat Hoti Hai
Nigah Uthakar Jab Dekhte Hain Wo Meri Taraf
Mere Liye Wohi Pal Poori Kaaynat Hoti Hai

 

Oct,26 2015
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Paas karke dikha

Santa :Sabse Bada challenge kya hai?
Banta :Answer sheet ko khaali chhod do aur last me likh Dena, Paas karke dikha

Oct,26 2015
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Ladki Ka Dil

Agar aap ladki ke maa baap ka dil jit liya to aap ko v ladki ka dil mil jaega.

Oct,24 2015
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Sath Tumhara

Ye promise hai humara,
Na chhodenge kabhi sath tumhara,
Jo gaye tum hume bhool kar,
Le aayenge pakad kar hath tumhara.

Oct,24 2015
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Mazaa

Bachcha: Mummy, Thodi Der Baad Aapko Mazaa Aane Wala Hai.
Mom: Wo Kaise?
Papa Ne Mujhe Cigaret Peete Dekh Liya,
Bole Ghar Chal Teri Maa Ch**Dta Hoon.

Oct,20 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Naya Wala Joke

Alia Market Mein Gayi Aur Dukandar Se Boli: Woh Wala Joke Dena.
Dukandar: Kaun Sa Wala?
Alia: Wahi Jo Sab Log Kehte Hain Market Mein Naya Hai.

Oct,19 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Muskaan Tumhaari

Zindagi nahin humein doston se pyaari,
Doston pe haazir hai jaan hamaari,
Aankhon mein hamaari aansoon hai toh kya,
Jaan se bhi pyaari hai muskaan tumhaari.

Oct,19 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Medium Size

Santa Ki Condoms Banane Ki Factory Thhi.
Ek Baar USA Se Order Aaya Ki 14 Inch Ke Condoms Bana Do.
Santa Ne Socha: Itne Bade Size Ke Condom Banva Ke America Wale Hamari Beizzti Karna Chahte Hai.
Usne Apne Workers Ko Kaha: Tum Condoms Ka Order Ready Karo, Aur Packing Wale Dibbe Pe Likh Dena, Medium Size.

Oct,19 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
उँची धोती

एक पंडित की टाँग जल गयी.
डॉक्टर ने बरनोल और वियाग्रा लिख दी, पंडित बोला बरनोल तो समझ आता है पर वियाग्रा क्यों?
डॉक्टर: उससे धोती हमेशा उँची रहेगी.

Oct,19 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Pizza Hut

Oye paaji, apni pregnant wife ko itne dard mein hospital ki jagah pizza hut kyun leja raha hai.
Sardarji: Kyun key pizza hut mein Delivery Free hai.

Oct,17 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Bike Per Aish

Papa: Beti 12th K Bad Kya Karogi?
Beti: B.B.A Karungi.
Papa: Wat is BBA.
Beti: Boyfriend Ki Bike Pr Aish.

Oct,16 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Sardar Boys

2 boys with Sardar where going on a Motor cycle.
Policeman gives hand to stop.
Sardar shouted oye pehle hi teen bhete hai tu kaha bethega.

Oct,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Bagal Wali

Teacher: Pappu tumne aaj fir apna homework nahi kiya,
Bolo tumhe kya saza du?
Pappu: Teacher wo mere bagal wali ladki ne bi nahi kiya,
Hum dono ko bathroom m band kardo.

Oct,12 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Shaadi Ki Date

Girl to boy: Shaadi k liye konsi date rakhien?
Boy: 22 December.
Girl: Koi khaas wajah?
Boy: Haan, Saal ki sabse lambi raat isi date ko hoti hai.

Oct,9 2015
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Yoga

Ek aurat bar: Bar ghar ke bahar aati phir andar jati,
Bar: Bar andar bahar aa rahi thi.
Padosi: Mataji ye kya kar rahe ho?
Aurat: Meri bahu T.V pe yoga karna sikh rahi hai, usmai bol rahe hai ki sas andar karo, sas.
bahar karo, Padosi Bihosh.

Sep,30 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Values

What exactly does this company value the most, and how do you think my work for you will further these values?

Sep,28 2015
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Jhalak

Fiza mein mehakti saam ho tum,
Pyaar mein jhalakta jaam ho tum,
Aur kaya kahe janam tere bare me,
Kharche ka dusra naam ho tum.

Sep,24 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Therapist

See a sex therapist if this is your first full sexual experience to talk about everything from technique mechanics to feelings, fears and fantasies.

Sep,23 2015
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Stump Stunk

A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.

Sep,14 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Shaadi Shuda

Sep,11 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Mixer

Papa: Ek mixer nahi sahi kar sakta,
Kya fayda hua 7 lakh kharch karne ka?
Beta: Lekin papa, mai to Software Engineer hu.
Papa: Bas ab behas mat kar.

Sep,10 2015
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दुनिया का निर्माण

मनुष्य आपनी क्षमता और आत्म विश्वास के साथ, एक एक बेहतर दुनिया का निर्माण कर सकता  हैं.
हम बाहरी दुनिया में शांति कभी नहीं प्राप्त सकते हैं जब तक हम खुद के साथ शांति न  बना लें 



Sep,9 2015
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Happiness Apart

There Are Far, Far Better Things Ahead Than Any We Leave Behind
God Can't Give Us Peace And Happiness Apart From Himself Because There Is No Such Thing.

Sep,9 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Raat Aa Gayi


Dekho Phir Raat Aa Gayi
Good Night Kahne Ki Baat Yaad Aa Gayi
Hum Baithe The Sitaro Ki Panah Mein
Chand Ko Dekha To Aap Ki Yaad Aa Gayi.

Good Night

Sep,9 2015
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Insurance

Ek Aadmi Insurance Karvane Jata Hai,
Insurance Agent: Hum Life Ke Sath Sath Penis Ka Bhi Insurance Karte Hai.
Aadmi: Achha, Kya Aap Lu*Nd Kharab Hone Pe Isko Badal Ke Doge?
Agent: Nahi, Par Jab Ye Kharab Ho Jayega Ya Kam Karna Band Kar Dega To Hum Aapki Wife Ko Free Service Provide Karenge.

Sep,8 2015
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Bakra

Munna bhai: Apun ko kaisy pata,
Chalay ga k ye bakra hai ya bakri?
circuit: Simple bhai, pathar mar Kar dekho,
Ager bhaga to bakra aur ager bhagi to bakri.

Sep,4 2015
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Chalak Ladkiyan

Santa Sochte Hue Banta Se Bolta Hai: Yaar Ye Ladkiyan Kitni Chalak Hoti Hain.
Banta Puchta Hai: Kyun?
Santa: Yaar Ladkiyan Apna 18 Rupye Litre Wala Doodh Dikha Kar, Humara 180 Rupye Litre Wala Ghee Nikal Leti Hai.

Sep,4 2015
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Song 4 U

AGAR TUM MIL JAO TO TANGE TOD DENGE HUM.
TUMHE PAA KAR TUMHARE PECHE KUTTA CHOD DENGE HUM.
BAAS TUM MIL TO JAO.

Sep,2 2015
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Without Helmet

Kapil To Sumopna:Jaan Main Tumhari Ankhon Main Saara Jahan Dekh Sakta Hoo.
Paas Main Ek Aadmi Without Helmet Khada Tha,
Usne Kaha Bhaisahab Mujhe Bas Itna Bata Do Ki Aage Chaurahe Par Helmet Ki checking Ho Rahi Hai Ya Nahi.

Aug,31 2015
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Sitting Hen

Question: What Is Difference Between Chicken And A Baby?
Answer: Chicken Is A Result Of Sitting Hen,
And,
Baby Is The Result Of Standing Cock.

Aug,31 2015
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ChameLee

Brucelees Favourites:
Favourite Vegetable: MuLee,
Favourite Animal: BilLee,
Favourite Actor: ChameLee,
Favourite Timepaas: KhujLee.

Aug,31 2015
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Mom & Daughter

Aug,31 2015
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Pregnant Biwi

Ek Aadmi Apni Pregnant Biwi Se Sex Karna Chahta Tha.
Par Biwi Ka Dil Nahi Tha Isliye Wo Mana Kare Ja Rahi Thi, Aadmi Fir Se Bola.
Aadmi: Please Karne Do, Ek Baar Bas.
Biwi: Aji Rehne Dijiye Na, Kahi Bachha Lund Ko Lollipop Samajh Ke Kha Na Jaye.

Aug,31 2015
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