मेरी मोहब्बत को अपने दिल में ढूंढ लेना,
और हाँ, आटे को अच्छी तरह गूंध लेना.
मिल जाये अगर प्यार तो खोना नहीं,
प्याज़ काटते वक्त बिलकुल रोना नहीं
मोहब्बत का ख़ुमार उतरा तो, ये एहसास हुआ
जिसे मन्ज़िल समझते थे, वो तो बेमक़सद रास्ता निकला
मोहब्बत में जबरदस्ती अच्छी नहीं होती..
तुम्हारा जब भी दिल चाहे आ जाना..मेरा खडा मिलेगा.
टीचर: जिसको सुनाई नहीँ देता उसको क्या कहेँगे
शिष्य: कुछ भी कह दो साले को कौनसा सुनाई देता है
संता और बंता
संता बंता से : अरे यार ये मोबाइल तो मुझे कंगाल कर देगा!
बंता संता से: क्यों? क्या हुआ
संता- बार-बार दिखाता है- बैटरी लो, और मैं अब तक 56 बैटरी बदल चुका हूं
छू ले आसमान ज़मीन की तलाश ना कर,
जी ले ज़िंदगी खुशी की तलाश ना कर,
तकदीर बदल जाएगी खुद ही मेरे दोस्त,
मुस्कुराना सीख ले वजह की तलाश ना कर.
एक बार एक कुंवारा लड़का मर गया।
माँ रो-रो के,हे भगवान् इसने तो अभी जवानी भी नहीं देखी थी
पड़ोस की भाभी रोते हुए बोली, ना रो चाची मैंने दिखा दी थी
Ab Kahan Maut Ka Saaman Se Darr Lagta Hai.
Unki Madh Bhari Muskan Se Darr Lagta Hai
Jab Se Dekha Hai Dhaltey Huey Suraj Ko Maine
Apne Miltey Huey Sammaan Se Darr Lagta Hai
Tuta Hua Phul Khushbu De Jata H,
Bita Hua Pal Yaade De Jata H,
Har Shakhs Ka Apna Andaz Hota H,
Koi Zindgi Mein Pyaar....
To Koi Payar MAin Zindgi De Jata Hai.
Ladka : Kash Main Teri Bra Hota,
To Sara Din Tere Boobs Se Chipka Rahta
Ladki : Main Kisi Aur Se Dabva Rahi Hoti,
Aur Tu Zameen Par Dhool Chat Raha Hota
Muje Kisi Se Muhabbat Nahi Siwa Tere
Muje Kisi Ki Jarurat Nahi Siwa Tere
Meri Najar Ko Thi Talash Jiski Barso Se
Kisi Ke Paas Wo Surat Nahi Siwa Tere
पप्पू कोर्ट में जज से : आज तक मेरी इतनी इन्सल्ट नही हुई,
मेरी नई पड़ोसन ने मुझे नहाते हुए देख लिया है!
जज : तो तुम क्या चाहते हो?
संता : उससे बदला में भी नहाते हुए देखना चाहता हूँ
Husband: Jaan Dey Do Bohat Mood Ho Raha Hai,
Wife:Nahi Aaj Nahi,
Husband:Aajao Na Please,
Wife:Kaha Na Nahi,
Child: Papa Mxth Maar K So Jao Shor Na Kro
Mera Har Pal Aaj Khoobsurat Hain,
Dil Mein Jo Sirf Teri Hi Soorat Hain,
Kuch Bhi Kahe Ye Duniya Gum Nahi
Duniya Se Jyada Hume Teri Jarurat Hai
Na Ishq, Na Pyaar, Na Mohabbat Yaaro,
Devdas Ki Mafik Jaan Mat Do Yaaro,
Apna To Ek Usul Hai Yaro.Na Chandramukhi,
Na Paaro Jo Dikhe Usi Pe Line Maro
Girl To Boy : Shaadi Ke Liye Konsi Date Rakhien?
Boy: 22 December
Girl: Koi Khaas Wajah?
Boy : Haan, Saal Ki Sabse Lambi Raat Isi Date Ko Hoti Hai.
Recently China Airports Were Closed Due To Heavy Fog
Later It Was Discovered That
Rajanikanth Was Smoking In India
दो सहेलियां आपस में बातें कर रही थी।
पहली: गोल कीपर से कभी शादी न करना।
दूसरी: क्यों,
पहली: न तो वो खुद डालता है और न ही दूसरे को डालने देता है।
Sochte Hai Tere Pass Aakar, Kaise
Roshan Apni Jaat Kare,
Chand Sa Chehra, Jheel Si
Aankhein, Samjh Nahi Aata
Tujhe Dekhe Ya Tujhse Baat Kare.
Santa: Is Operation Se Mujhe Kuchh Ho Gaya To Isi Doctor Se Shadi Kar Lena.
Jeeto: Aise Kyo Kah Rahe Ho
Santa: Doctor Se Badla Lene Ka Yehi 1 Rasta Hai
Teacher: I Killed A Person,
Tell Me This Sentence In Future Tense.
Student: In Future Tense, You Will Go To Jail.
Lady: Doctor Mere Lips Pe Infection Hogaya Hai.
Doctor: KISS Kitni Bar Karti Ho?
Lady: Saal Main 1 Baar,
Doctor: Infection Nahi ZANG Lag Gaya Hai.
1Percent Of People Do This. Try Not To Talk Too Much With Your Hands. It's Confusing.
Tarap K Dekh Kisi Ki Chahat Main.
To Pata Chale K Intazar Kya Hota Ha
Youn He Mil Jae Agar Koi Bina Tarpe.
To Kase Pata Chale Ke Pyar Lya Hota Hai
Teacher: Oxygen Is Must For Breathing.
It Was Discovered In 1773.
Sonu: Thank God I Was Born After That.
Pehla Paida Hota To Mar Hi Jata.
Santa: Mujhse Pangaa Mat Le, Main Sher Ka Puttar Hun..
Banta: Achchha Yaar, Ye To Bata Ki Sher Ghar Aaya Tha Ya Aunti Jungle Gayi Thi.
Sumona: Gaadi ki chaabi do na. Kitty party me jana hai.
Kapil: Gaadi?
Sumona: 10 lakh ki gaadi me jaungi to jyada rob padega.
Kapil: Ye le 10 Rs. 48 lakh ki bus me ja. jyada rob padega.
Teacher: Oxygen is must for Breathing.
It was discovered in 1773.
Santa: Thank God I was born after that.
Pehla Paida hota to mar hi jata.
There are two type of people winner and Losser,
Winner always Working Hard,
Losser Always try to shortcut for win.
WIFE: Suno Ji Agar Tumhaare Baal Isi Raftaar Se Jhadte Rahe
Toh Main Tumhein Talaaq De Doongi!
Pati: He Uper Wale, Aur Main Paagal Inko
Bachaane Ki Koshish Kar Rahaa Thaa
Teacher: Ganga, yamuna, Kaveri, Krishna, Bharat ki
Nadiyo ke naam hai to Pakistan ki nadiyo ke naam batao?
Pappu: Rukhsana, Farzana, Rizwana, Sultana, Shabana.
It is fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.
Santa dialled a phone number.
A computerizd female voice said: Apke paas paryapt balance nahi hai,
Kirpaya appna mobile rechage kare.
Santa: Bas janeman tumse baat ho jati hai, itna hi kaafi hai.
Ladki: Hello baby, tumhari yaad aa rahi thi.
Ladka: Abhi salary nahi aayi hai meri.
Ladki: Acha chalo papa aa gaye, bye.
Girl to riksha wala: Q bhai jaye ga?
Riksha Wala: Zaroor Jaye ga, abhi abhi to oil laga kar khada kia hai.
Girl: To phir Ghuma kar peechay le lo.
Kis hadd tak jana hai ye kaun jaanta hai,
Kis manzil ko pana hai ye kaun janta hai,
Dosti ke do pal ji bhar ke ji lo,
Kis roz bichad jana hai ye kaun janta hai.
Girl: Aaj office jate hi boss muj pe chad gaya.
Friend: Q?
Girl: Main late gayi thi.
Santa Kadi Chaawal Kha Raha Tha.
Khate Khate Ek MAKKHI khaane pe Baithne Lagi.
SANTA Use Udate Hue Bola: Chal Pagli, Ye Wo Nahi Hai Jo Tu Samajh Rahi Hai.
Santa Kadi Chaawal Kha Raha Tha.
Khate Khate Ek MAKKHI khaane pe Baithne Lagi.
SANTA Use Udate Hue Bola: Chal Pagli, Ye Wo Nahi Hai Jo Tu Samajh Rahi Hai.
Girl: Tum Kya Karte ho?
Boy: Bahut Bade College Mein Logo Ka Admission Karwata Hun.
Girl: Kaun Se College?
Boy: IIN,Recharge Ki Dukan Hai Apni.
Earthquake Aane Pe Ghabrayein Mat... Yeh Karein
1. Turant Apna Facebook Status Update Karein
2. Bhaag Ke Jaan Bachayein
3. Bahar Aake Bheed Ke Saath Ek Selfie Lein
4. Bhale Hi Apni Fati Padi Ho But Khud Ko Cool Show Karein, Ghabrayein Mat, Doosro Par Hanse Ki Saale Kaisa Bhaaga Tu
Janhit Mein Jaari!
Cream ke advt mein face dikhaya.
Soap ke advt mein Hath Dikhaya.
Shampoo ke advt mein Baal Dikhaye.
Par whisper ke advt main kuchh nahi dikhaya.
Jaago grahak jaago!