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Ladkiyo ka real fact: Pehle to ladke se kehti hai,
Tum mujhe pasnd karte ho na.
Ladka: Nahi to.
Ladki: Me sab janti hu.
Ladka: Pata hai ek ladki mujhe acchi lagti hai.
Ladki: Wo main hi hu na such bolo.
Moral: Ladke kabhi purpose karte nai ladkiyan karwati hai.
48
Aasman me kali ghataa chai he,
Aaj fir principal se mar khai he,
Sab kahte he sudhar ja.
Par kya kare aaj medam fir vidhya baalan banke ayi he.
60
Mallika Sherawat Ki Gali Mein Kelewala Aaya, Mallika Bahar Aayi To Kele Wale Ne Kaha.
Kelewala: Behenji Kele Le Lo, Bahut Mote Aur Swadisht Hai.
Mallika Sherawat: Kaise Diye?
Kelewala: Aath (8) Rupaye Mein (12).
Mallika Sherawat: Sath (7) Mein Tera (13) Deta Hai To Bol.
39
More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.
349
Santa: Aajkal Bhabhi ji ka left boob Kaafi Chhota dikh rha hai, kyu?
Banta: Ye Saale R.T.O walo ne Seat Belt lagwa lagwa k
Left boob ki Maa Chod di.
706
Taza hawa ka jhoka aaya,
Kushbu tere sath laya,
Phir mere dil me khayal aaya,
Ke lagta hay ki Aaj bhi tu,
Nahi NAHAYA.
37
1 bacha khait main aalu nikalny mai dada ki help kar raha tha.
Boht thak gia tu bola:
Aap ne yai sab zameen main dabaye he kion thay?
369
Suhaag Raat me Wife: Muje Gabhrahat ho rahi Hai.
Husband: Tumhari PehLi Raat hai na IsLiye?
Wife: Nahi Ji Raat me Pehli Baar hai IsLiye.
48
Dadi: Bittu tum baap ban gaye, hamare ghar ladka paisa hua hai.
Wah ji wah kya techonology hai.
Biwi meri hospital me hai aur bachha mere ghar paida hua hai.
240
Arz kiya hai.
Fruit kharab nahi hote makkhiya kharab karti hai,
Ladke kharab nahi hote ladkiya kharab karti hai.
359
Agar Wo Age Me Aapse Chhoti Ho Phir,
Bhi Aap Unse AAP Kahkar Hi Baat Kare.
Unhe Lagna Chahiye Ki Aap Unki Bahut Respect Karte Hai.
529
The longest time between two twins being born is 87 days.
952
Kash feeling bhi sms ki tarah hoti,
To aap k GUM hum recieve karte,
Apni KHUSHIYAN aap ko send karte,
Aapki NARAZGI delete karte,
Aur aapki YADON ko save karte.
910
Kisi bhi ladki ka dil gahraai se jeetne ke liye,
Uske future or present ki planing aur isme,
Aane wali problem ko solve karne ke liye,
Apne ko usmai involve karo.
437
Mohabbat ka koi rang nahi,
Fir bhi wo rangin hai,
Pyar ka koyi chehra nahi,
Phir bhi woh hasin hai.
367
Tere naam ko apne honto pe sajaya hain mene,
Teri ruh ko apne dil mein basaya hain maine,
Duniya tumhe dhondte dhondte ho jayegi pagal,
Dil ke aeise kone mein chhupaya hain mene.
37
Agar Kiss ke douran aap muh se saans nahi le pa rahe hai to,
Jaruri hai ki naak se dheere dheere saans le.
Saath hi aisa hi aapke partner ko karna chahiye.
Aisa karne se aap dono apne kiss ko enjoy kar sakte hai.
824
Ek pahchan hajaro Dost bana deti hain,
Ek muskaan hajaro gum bhula deti hain,
Zindagi ke safar me sambhal kar chalna,
Ek galti hajaro sapne jala kr raakh deti hai.
491
Sania Mirza back in India
Milk prices down by Rs 2.
Hasso matt kamino dono alag alag news hai.
42
Kash feeling bhi sms ki tarah hoti,
To aap k GUM hum recieve karte,
Apni KHUSHIYAN aap ko send karte,
Aapki NARAZGI delete karte,
Aur aapki YADON ko save karte.
57
Ye Tere Behekty Qadam,
Ye Tere Kaanpty Hoont,
Ye Tere Bikhray Baal,
Ye Tera Jalta Badan,
Ye Teri Nasheeli Aankhein,
Mujhy Pehle He Shak Tha K Tu "NASEDI" Hai.
557
Roj aate hai chand sitare magar,
Koi khushi ka paigam nahi aata,
Hame to intzar hai jinke sms ka,
Par unhe hamara khayal hi nahi aata.
965
Ek Ladka Blood Bank Mein: Sister Mujhe Ek Botal Khoon de do,
Sister: Blood Group Batao.
Ladka: Koi Bhi Chalega.
Sister: Kaise.
Ladka: Mujhe Love Letter Likhna Hai.
673
Sochtey Hai Seekh Le Hum Bhi Berukhi Karna,
Pyaar Nibhatey – Nibhatey Aaj Lagta Hai Humne,
Aapni hi Kadaar Kho-Di….!!
845
Teacher : Hamesha Kaho ki Mujhe Sab Pata Hai
Chotte : Papa Mujhe Sab Pata Hai
Papa : Beta ye 50 Ruppee le Aur Chup Rehna.
Chotte : Mummy Mujhe Sab Pata Hai
Mummy : Beta ye 100 Ruppee le Aur Chup Rehna.
Chotte (Naukar se): Raamu Kaka Mujhe Sab Pata Hai
Ramu Kaka : Aa Mera Beta Apne Baap ke Gale Lag Jaa..!!
752
Legs Utha ke Karo.
Tange Feala ke Karo.
Ghuma Ghuma ke Karo.
Aage Peechey Dono Taraf Karo.
Jitna Karoge Utna Halka Mehsoos Hoga.
Baba Ramdev Ji ka Yoga.
340
Santa: Ladki ko prapose karne ki sabse safe jagah konsi he?
Banta: Mandir.
Santa: Mandir kyu?
Banta: Qki waha ladkiyo k pairo me CHAPPAL nai hoti.
641
Laafzo me kya taarif karun aapki, aap lafzo me kaise sama paaoge, jab log hamare baare me puchenege, meri aankho me jaanemaan sirf tum nazar aaoge.
54
Beta: Papa jab aap chote the tab dadaji aapko marte the.
Papa: Ha.
Beta: To ye khandani dadagiri kab band hogi.
516
Har taraf padhai ka saya hai,
Kitabo main sukh kisne paya hai,
Ladke to jate hai tution ladkiyan dekhne,
Aur sir kehte hai dekho itni thand mai ladka padhne aya hai.
37
Bhagwan: Maine Ladkiyo ko itna Sundar, Kamuk, Uttejak banaya koi kami ho to batao.
Boy: Bas niche choot me Pasword System kar do taki jiski hai wo hi chod sake.
626
Nav Deep Jale,
Nav Phool Khile,
Nit Nayi Bahaar Mile,
Navratri Ke Iss Paavan Avsar Par Aapko Mata Rani Ka Aashirvad Mile.
Happy Navratri.
444
Kabir Das Ji Ne Kaha Hai Ke.
KAL KAREIN SO AJ.
AJ KARE SO AB.
Santa: Ab Mujhe Koi Ye Btaye,
Ki Kal Aaney Wali Potty Ko Abhi Kaise Karein.
PAGAL KABEER.
477
Agar hum yaad nahi karte to bhulte bhi nahi,
Hum hasate nahi to rulate bhi nahi,
Hum roj dost banate nahi par,
Jo bane hai unhe gavate bhi nahi.
664
Agar app ek hi class me study karte hai toh app uski help kar sakte hai study me. App uske liye notes bana sakte hai jisse wo apke orh karib aa jayegi orh jabbhi use study me problem hogi toh wo apko hi yaad karegi.
956
Do Ladkiya Class Mein Ek Mote Bachhe Ka Pet Dekh Kar Boli.
Ladkiya: Oye Motu, Ye Pani Ka Matka Kitne Ka Dega.
Bachha Bhi Pura Kameena Tha, Bina Sharam Kiye Pant Utari Aur Lund Dikha Kar Bola.
Bachha: Nal Sahit 500 Rs Ka.
340
Couple date par tha, Dad ne dekh liya.
Dad ne call kya: beta kaha ho?
Beta: Paper dene aaya hu.
Dad: Zara dhyan se.. es paper ka result aaya to jaan se maar dunga.
324
Hasrat hain sirf tumhe paane ki,
Aur koi khawahish nahi is deewane ki,
Shikwa mujhe tumse nahi khuda se hai,
Kya zarurat thi tumhe itna khubsurat banaane ki.
258
Dad Apne Bete Santa Ko Gaaliyan De Rahe The.
Dad: Kambakht Tune Aaj Tak Aisa Koi Kaam Nahi Kiya Jisse Mera Sir Uncha Hua Ho.
Santa With Awesome Reply: Dad Bhul Gaye Aapke Sir Ke Neeche Ek Baar Takiya Diya To Tha.
37
Bhakt: Meri shadi Aishwarya se kara do.
Bhagwan: Uski ek saree 1 lac ki hai, tu kharcha kar payega.
Bhakt: Koi upay bhagvan.
Bhagvan: Mallika Sherawat.
613
During engineering viva.
Q: What is sensitivity?
Ans: Kuch thanda ya garam khane se daanto me tez jhanjhanahat ho to use sensitivity kehte hai.
50
संता: पता है आदमी अपने घर में सिर्फ दो ही कारणों से खुश होता है।
बंता: कौन सा कारण?
संता: जब बीवी नई हो या बीवी नहीं हो।
47
Peetal ke patile mein paka hua papita.
718
When you do know me about me, them I am definitely something. You will always search for me. But when you know me, I am nothing. Who am I?
Answer: I'm a Riddle.
570
Jo hase ga wo fase ga.
Jo fase ga wo hase ga.
918
Thin sticks, thick bricks. (x3)
865
I saw Susie sitting in a shoeshine shop.
250
How can a clam cram in a clean cream can?
858
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