Wife: Valentine day par mujhe Ring doge na?
Sardar: YES 1 ya 2?
Wife: Tumhari marzi and I LOVE YOU.
Sardar: I LOVE YOU TOO.
Magar ye batao ring Mobile par du ya Landline par.
Biology teacher: Ager ladki ko Asthma attack aaye, To use der tak apne hontho se sans do. Student: Wo to thik hai sir, Lekin aisa kya kre ke usey Asthma attack aaye?
Kuch Meethe Pal Yaad Aate Hain,
Palko Par Aansu Chor Jate Hain,
Kal Koi Aur Mil Jaye Toh Hume Na Bhool Jana,
Friendship Ke Relation Zindagi Bhar Kaam Aate Hain.
Chintu: Philhaal Kya Karte Ho?
Mintu: IIN Dropout Hoon.
Chintu: Kya? Mintu: Net Pack Khatam Ho Gya Hai,
Papa Na Recharge Ke Paise Nahi Diye,Tabse Ghar Par Hi Hun.
Rajnikant went to world cooking championship.
Of course rajni won,
but guess what he made in finale?
Lal mirchi ki meethi khir.
Chotu: Mummy tumne jhuth bola Na?
Mom: I told to u every time please speak in English.
Chotu: Ok Mom u lied to me.
Mom: When my son?
Chotu: U said that my younger sis is an angel.
Mom: Yes, She is.
Chotu: So why didn’t she fly when I threw her from our balcony.
Mom: Kutte, Kamin, Kaha feka Bacchi ko?
Son: Talk in English Mom.
English Teacher: Batao Yeh Kon Sa Tense Hai?
Main Naach Raha Hon.
Tum Naach Rahy Ho,
Woh Naach Rahy Hain,
Hum Sub Naach Rahy Hain,
Student: Sir Yeh Mujra Continues Tense Hai.
Is kadar humari chahat ka imtihaan mat lijiye,
Kyu ho khafa ye bataya to kijiye,
Kar dijiye maaf agar ho gayi hai koi khata,
Yu yaad na kar ke saza to na dijiye.
kyon unki khamoshi mujhe khamosh kar jaati hai,
kyon unki udaasi mujhe udaas kar jaati hai,
kya rishta hai unka mera,
jo mujhe unki yaad har pal aa jati hai?
Pehle KISS karo,
Phir PALANG Par leta do,
Phir CHADDI utar do,
Phir NICHE haath lagao,
Aur check karo k BABY ne SU SU toh nahi kiya na.
Aapki dosti hamari, suron ka saz hai.
Aap jaise dost pr, hame naz hai.
Chahe kuch ho jaye zindgi mein.
Dosti veise hi rahegi, jeise aaj hai.
Dadi: Teri aur bahu ki jodi toh 'Ram - Sita' ki jodi hai,
Kapil: Kahan Dadi ! Na toh yeh dharti mein samati hai, na hi ise,
Koi Rawan le jata hai.
Pappu Ghar Ka Darwaza Ukhaad Ke Kandhe Pe Rakh Ke Ja Raha Tha.
Kisi Ne Puchha: Oye Kahan Ja Rahe Ho?
Pappu:Chabi kho gyi h Taala Khulwanay ja rha hun.
Saali: Jija Ji, offer aur loaffer me kya unter hotaa hain?
Jeeja: Agr tum muje rat ke K liyee invite kro to offer, agr mai tume rat k liye Offer doon to loaffer.
Patni: Suno ji mere saath tumhare dus saal kaise beete?
Pati: Ek second ki tarah.
Patni: Agar main tumse 10000 rs mangu toh kaisa lagega?
Pati: Chavnni ki tarah.
Patni: Jara 10000 rs dena toh.
Pati: Abhi deta hu ek second mein.
Meri Taraf Se Apko Ek Puppy,
Aapki Saheli Ko Bhi Ek Puppy,
Saheli Ki Saheli Ko Bhi Ek Puppy,
Ab Pucho Kyu?
Aaj Hi Mere Doggy Ne 10 Puppies Ko Janam Diya Hai.
Papu admission lene college gaya.
Principle: Main tum se 1 Mushkil sawal puchun ya 10 Asaan?
Papu: 1 mushkil sawaal.
Principle: Batao Din pehle aata hai ya Raat?
Papu: Din.
Principle: wo kaise?
Papu: Sorry sir ye Aap ne Dusra sawal puch liya.
Pyar sacha ho to waqt ruk jata hai,
Asman lakh uncha ho magar jhuk jata hai,
Pyar me duniya lakh bane rukawat,
Agar humsafar sacha ho to khuda bhi jhuk jata hai.
If the sun were the size of a white blood cell then the Milky Way Galaxy would be the size of the United States.
Sri ram ji aapke ghar sukh ki barsat karen,
Dukhon ka naas karen.
Prem ki phuljhari wa anar aapke ghar ko roshan kare.
Roshni ke diye aapki zindagi me khusiya layen.
Happy deepawali.
A Girl went to repair umbrella.
Shopkeeper: BB ooper ka kapra otarna parega aur neechay danda dalna parega.
Larki Boli:jo marzi karo bus pani andar na aaye.
PATIENT: Na khaau, to bhook lagti hai.
Na souu, to Neend aati hai.
Zyada kaam karu, to thakawat hoti hai.
DOCTOR: Saari Raat Dhoop mein baitho, Theek ho jaoge.
Wat I Did Was Foolish & Impulsive,
If I Cud Take It All Back I did Do Dis So Instant,
I Truly Did not Mean 2 Hurt U In Any Way,
I am Sorry 4 Hurting U.
Kab Unki Aankho Se Izhar Hoga,
Dil Ke Kisi Kone Mei Hamare Liye Pyar Hoga,
Guzar Rahi He Raat Unki Yaad Me,
Kabi to Unko Bhi Hamara Intzar Hoga.
Kapil (to wife): Tere baap ki Jale par namak chhidakne ki aadat gayi nahin na?
Sumona: Kyun? Ab kya hua?
Kapil: Aaj Phir se puchh raha tha Meri beti se shaadi karke khush to ho na?
Goto Address bar and Copy and paste Following Thing in your address bar and Hit Enter.
Universal Truth: Kaamyabi TOILET Ki,
Bdbu Ki Tarah Hoti Hai.
Bardasht Tabhi,
Hoti Hai Jab Apni Ho.
Raat Aati Hai Sitare Lekar,
Neend Aati Hai Sapne Lekar,
Hamaridua Hai Kal Ki Subah Aye Apke Liye Sari Khushiyan Lekar. Good Night
Wife: Have You Brought The Saree.
Husband: Bad command Or file Name.
Wife: But I told you about it in Morning.
Husband: Erroneous Syntax Abort cancel.
Santa In Mumbai Police,
Santa: Sir,suspect ki jeb se dangerous weapon mila, kisi ko thokne ja raha tha.
SP: Ye kaise keh skte ho.
Santa: Condom mila hai.
ISHQ me Hum Huye Itne Pagal ki,
Humne Unki Zulfon k Saaye me rehne ki kasam kha dali,
Woh Nikli itni Bewafa ki usne apni Zulfen hi kata dali.
Sardar radio lekar toilet gaya.
Bahar aane par biwi ne puccha,
Kyon ji, mazaa aaya?
Sardar: Saalo ne JANA GANA MANA Laga diya,
Khade khade karna pada.
A person acting in a disorderly manner, neither finds happiness in society nor in the forest.
Once you start a working on something, don’t be afraid of failure and don’t abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest.
Failures, repeated failures, are finger posts on the road to achievement. One fails forward toward success
The task of the modern educator is not to cut down jungles, but to irrigate deserts.
Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives.
1 Advice: Don’t change.
1 Request: Take care.
1 Wish: Don’t forget me.
1 Lie: I hate u.
1 Truth: I miss u.
1 Hope: We’ll always be Gud Friends.
It may seem exciting to bounce off him really fast, but you’ll get tired really fast. And most importantly, you’ll ruin the sex.
A couple sees a hot girl.
Wife: So big, aren’t they?
Husband: Yes.
Wife: Are they artificial?
Husband: I think natural.
Wife: Ear-rings & Natural?
Total Silence.