Dosti ka shukriya kuch is trah ada karu,
Aap bhul bhi jao to main yaad karu,
Dosti ne bas itna sikhaya hai muze,
Ke khud se pahle apke liye dua karu.
Teacher: Dhobi ka kutta na ghar ka na ghat ka.
Ab aisa 1 aur sentence banao.
Student: Sania ka baccha na india ka na pakistan ka.
Teacher: Galti hone pe maafi magne wale ko kya kahte hai?
Stud: Samajhdar
Teacher: Aur galti na hone pe bhi mafi mangne waale ko kya kahte hai?
Stud: BOYFRIEND
Patni: Jab Tum Desi Pite ho Mujhe Pari Kehte ho.
Beer pite ho to Darling
par aj Bhutni kyu?
Pati:aj: Maine Sprite Piya hai,
'Seedhi Baat no Bakhwash'
1 ladka achanak ladki ko dekh kar bola-
lafz tere geet mere, gazal koi sunau kya ?
Ladki-Haath mere gaal tere, kaan k niche bajau kya ?
Ghajini Dekhne k Bad Andaza Hua k
Hum Bhi Amir Khan Se kum Nhi Hai
Hum Bhi Padhta Hay Samajhty hain
Phir 15 Min Bad sab Bhool Jaate hain.
Uncle: What do You do Son...?
Boy: Naari Samman Sewa ke Liye Kaam Karta Hoon
Uncle: Achcha to Social Worker ho
Son: No uncle, Facebook Par Ladkiyon ki Photo Like Karta Hoon.
Ladkiya Aapas Mein Gale Milte Waqt Kya Sochti Hai?
Iss Ke Toh Mujh Se Bhi Jyada Bade Bade Ho Gaye Hai.
Pata Nahi Kaun Sa Shampoo Use Karti Hai.
Rajnikant mom: Beta Rajni ye solar heater pani garam nhi kr raha kuch kar.
Rajnikanta: Yanna rascala tum ruko maa mein suraj ko thik karke aata hu.
SANTA: Maine apni beti ka shaadi sirf 1500rs mein kiya.
BANTA: Woh kaise?
SANTA: Maine use 1500 ka ek mobile dilaaya, usne love marriage karliy.
Suhagraat Ke Baad:
Pati: Tujhe Raat Ko Zyada Dard Ya Takleef To Nahi Hui na?
Patni: Nahi, Bahut Maza Aaya, Dard to Tab Hota Tha Jab Mai School Mein Thi.
MAA: Beta Apple Khaoge,
BETA: Nahi.
MAA: Beta Mengo Khaoge,
BETA: Nahi.
MAA: Beta Orange Khaoge,
BETA: Nahi.
MAA: Bilkul Baap Par Gaya Hai Chappal Hi Khayega.
Girlfriend: I do not think it is working out. Our relationship is dead.
IT Guy: Ek baar restart karke to dekh le.
Khushboo Bankar Teri Saanso Mein Sama Jayenge,
Sukun Bankar Tere Dil Mein Utar Jayenge,
Mehsus Karne Ki Koshish To Kijiye,
Dur Rahte Hue Bhi Pass Najar Aayenge.
I have all the knowledge you have. But I am small as your fist that your hands can hold me. Who am I?
Answer: I'm your brain!
Yaadon Me Humari Aap Bhi Khoye Honge
Khuli Aankho Se Kbhi Aap Bhi Soye Honge.
Mana Hasna Hain Adaa Gam Chhupane Ki
Par Haste Haste Kabhi Aap Bhi Roye Honge.
GIRLZ OF 1995,
AGAR TUM MIL JAO ZAMANA CHOIR DENGE HUM.
GIRLZ OF 2015,
AGAR TUM MIL JAO PURANA CHOR DENGE HUM.
शत्रु के साथ आपको शांति अगर चाहिए, तो आपको अपने शत्रु के साथ काम करना होगा। फिर वह आपका साथी बन जाएगा।
आप किसी व्यक्ति से जिस भाषा को वह समझता हो उसमें बात करें तो बात उसकी समझ में आती है।
लेकिन आप अगर उससे उसकी मातृभाषा में बात करें तो वह उसके दिल में जाती है।
Pyas Dariya Ki Nigaho Se Chupa Rkhi H,
ek Badal Se Badi Aas Laga Rkhi H,
Teri Ankho Ki Kasish Keise Tuje Samjhau,
In Chirago Ne Meri Nind Udaa Rakhi.
Ek chor Santa jee k mobile ko lekar bhag raha tha.
Santa hasne laga.
Banta : Wo tumhare mobile ko lekar bhag raha hai aur tum hans rahe ho.
Santa : Bhagne do, charger to mere paas hai.
When I Am Happy With You, It is A Good Day.
When I Quarrel With You,
It is A Bad Day.
So I Always Pray God To Grant A Good Day.
Ladki Ne Apne Naye Naye Bane Boyfriend Se Puchha.
Girl: Jab Tum Log Girls Ko I Love You Kehte Ho, To Un Ka Haath Kyun Pakad Lete Ho.
Boy: Bass Apni Hifaazat Ke Liye, Kahi Ladki Thapar Na Maar De.
Santa: Yaar, Jab Mene Tujhe Khatt Likha Tha Ki Meri Shaadi Par Jaroor Aana, Tum Aaye Kyun Nahi?
Banta: Ohh Yaar, Par Mujhe Koi Khatt Mila Hi Nahi.
Santa: Mene Likha To Tha Ki Khat Mile Ya Na Mile Tum Zaroor Aana.
Lie face up on the bed with your legs straight up in the air. Your man kneels on the bed behind you, holds onto your legs for leverage and thrusts.
Boy: Rat ka kya plan h?
Girl: Nthing, just night with kapil.
Yoy: Kya?
Girl: Opps sry i mean comedy night with kapil.
2 sardar ja rahe the.
Raste Me 1000 ka note mila.
1st SARDAR Chalo fifty Fifty le lete he.
2nd sardar Baki 900 ka kya karege.
Dual heart attack msg by a girl,
To her boy frend,
1st msg: Lets break up now.
Its all over.
2nd msg: Sorry Sorry.
That was not for u.
Why should I hire you?
Answer: Try to know the interviewer’s greatest needs and demands, this question will give you advantage over other candidates and give him best facts for hiring you than someone else.
Why did you leave your last job?
Budhi Mahila: Yamraj Ji, Mujhe waqt se pehle kyun utha liya?
Yamraj: Bidhiya dimag mat chaat, March mein closing thi, Target poora karna tha.
Santa: jab main mar jaon to samne wali family ko zaroor bulana.
Banta: kyun?
Santa: yaar unke ghar ki ladies murde se lipat lipat kar roti hain.
Santa: jab main mar jaon to samne wali family ko zaroor bulana.
Banta: kyun?
Santa: yaar unke ghar ki ladies murde se lipat lipat kar roti hain.
Aasma me kaali ghata chhaai he,
Aaj fir principal se mar khai he,
Sab kehte hey sudhar ja,
Par kya kare aaj madam fir sheela ban ke aayi he.
Madam: Pappu Ek Story Sunao With Moral.
Pappu: Maine Use Phone Kara Wo So Rahi Thi,
Phir Baad Mein Usne Muje Phone Kra Main So Raha Tha.
Moral: Jaisi Karni Vaisi Bharni.
She: Heyyy! Where Are U From?
What Do U Do? Job Or Study?
What Are Ur Hobbies?
Whats Ur Age?
Reply Na Please.
Me: Tera E-mail Address De Resume Sends Karta Hu.
Terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers,
And demanded aransom of 500000 rs or else,
They will burn them with kerosene.
Plz donate. i have donated 15 litres.
Not only will this leave your brain sharp and your memory functioning,
you will also have a huge library of quotes to bust out at any moment.
Poetry, sayings and philosophies are your best options.
Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen." -Michael Jordan
Life is short, and it is here to be lived." -Kate Winslet
Everything you can imagine is real." -Pablo Picasso
Love is that ocean,
In which if you drown,
You won't call for help Because,
Its the suicide That,
You have committed,
To begin another Beautiful life.
Love is that ocean,
In which if you drown,
You won't call for help Because,
Its the suicide That,
You have committed,
To begin another Beautiful life.
Salman: Kapil meri shaadi kab hogi?
Kapil: Kabhi nahin, kyunki tumhari zindagi mein sirf khushiya likhi hai.
Girl- Main jab bhi phone kerti hu tum Shaving ker rahe hote ho.
Din me kitni baar shaving kerte ho?
Boy- 30-40 baar.
Girl- pagal ho kya?
Boy- pagal nahi NAAYI hun.