Girl to doctor: Meri skin bohat soft aur sensitive hai..Mera rang bhi boht gora hai..mein raat ko kya laga kar soya karun?
Doctor: KUNDI.
pyara sa koi sandesh bhej do
Dosti ka saccha updesh bhej do
Agar dosto ko 1 SMS bhi na ho sake tumse to
Kisi BHIKHARI ko apna Mobile bech do
Ashq bahata hoo jane kyo
mai uski har zafa k liye
sochta he kyo har pal diwana,
us zalim bewafa k liye.
Best Break Up Ever:
A Boy Threw 6 Cricket Balls At His GirlFriend.
GrlFrnd: Wat Was That For?
Boy: Its OVER.
VacationWhere are you going for vacation this year?
I checked my budget and decided that I didn t get tired.
Ppl eatin brkfast feel better mentally& physically than those skipin brkfast
All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them. -Walt Disney
Teri Muskurahat Meri Pehchan Thi,
Teri Khusi Meri shaan Thi,
Kuchh Bhee Nahii tere bina Meri Jindaagi me,
Bas Itna Samaj Le,
Teri Dosti Hee Meri JAAŅ Thi
At childhood we always wanted to grow big
but now we realize that
Broken pencils & unfilled homework
was better than
BROKEN HEARTS & BUSY LIFE
Khuda ek bar use ye ehsas dila de,
Kitna intjar hai zara use bata de,
Har pal dehkte hai rasta usi ka,
Na intjar karna pade mujhe aisi neend sula de.
Doctor: Kaise Aana Hua?
Man: Doc Sab, Tabiyat Theek Nahi hai Liver mein Pain ho raha hai
Doc: Daroo Peete ho??
Man: Haan Par Chhota Peg hi Banana.
How I use my phone:
40% to use Whatsapp.
35% to use Facebook.
10% to take Photos.
8% to play Games.
5% check the Time.
2% to actually Calls.
Phool Hun Main Meri Khusbu Tum Ho,
Dil Hun Main Meri Dhadkan Tum Ho,
Jaan Hun Main Aur Meri Rooh Tum Ho,
Jism Hun Main Aur Meri Zindagi Tum Ho.
Ek Ladka Ek Ladki Ko Dekh Ke Bola
Waah Kya Maal Hai
Ladki Hansi Aur Boli
Maal To Jhakkass hai
Par Hai to Tere JIJA Ka na Kamine.
Have Integrity and treat people with respect. Being honest and true to your word will bring you the admiration,
respect and gratitude of others. Nothing improves a person's personality more than integrity and respect
- respect for others, as well as respect for yourself.
Santa: Agar nariyal ke ped pe chad jaun to
engineering college ki ladkiyan dikh jayegi
Banta: Pir hath chod dena
to medical college ki bhi dikh jayegi.
Why Mahendra Singh Dhoni has no girlfriend?
Because he drinks 2 litre of milk daily
Agar uske paas gaadi ya bike hai, to use kaho ki tumhe thoda ghumane le jaaye. Kabhi lift maang liya karo. Jhoot-moot ka anand dikhao. Baaton baaton mein use apni mohmaya ke jaal mein fasa lo.
Santa: Woh ladki kitni sundar hai!
Banta: Mujhe uska naam pata hai.
Santa: Kyaa..
Banta: Woh bank mein kaam karti hai, uske counter ke upar uska naam likha tha "CHAALU KHAATA"
Santa ke ghar Ladki ne janam liya..
Banta: jab ladki badi hogi to ladke ise chedenge.
Santa: Maine iska intejaam kar liye hai.
Banta: kya kiya?
Santa: Ladki ka naam DIDI rakh diya hai..
Kaha Ye Kisne Ki Phoolon Se Dil Lagau Main,
Agar Tera Khayal Na Sochu To Mar Jaun Main,
Maang Na Mujhse Tu Hisaab Meri Mohabbat Ka,
Aa Jaau Imtihaan Par To Hadd Se Guzar Jaun Main.
Agar Aap Party Me Kisi Ladki Ko Patana Chahte Ho To, Aap Sabse Pehle Unse Jakar Mile Aur Apna Introduction De, Isse Dhire-Dhire Baat Chit Ka Silsila Shuru Hoga Aur Aap Use Pata Lenge.
Bachpan me her ladke ki zindagi mein 2 hadse zarur hote he
1st- Medam per dil aana
2nd- Pent ki zip me nunnu fasna!
Hass kya rahe ho
Nahi fasi thi kya
Agar Wo Morning Walk Karne Jati Hai To Aap Bhi Uske Sath Sath Walk Karne Jaye, Subah Ke Mast Mahaul Me Aap Unse Mazedar Baate Kar Unhe Impress Kar Sakte Hai.
Hubby: Call Ambulance! I’m having a heart attack
Wife: Okay! Give me your mobile password
Hubby: Its okay, I’m good …!!
Men will be men…..
Life without U is impossible,
Ur in my breath, in my blood,
Can’t stay 4 a second without U,
If U r not there I’m dead…
Hello Mr. I’m talking about
“OXYGEN”
Nashili aankho se wo jab hamein dekhte hain,
hum ghabraakar ankhen jhuka leite hain,
kaun milaye unn ankhon se ankhen,
suna hai wo ankho se apna bana leite hai.
India Is Facing Serious Questions..
Hum Cloromint kyu khate hai?
Melody itni Chocolaty kyu hai?
And Now..
Why This Kolaveri Kolaveri Kolaveri Di?
Ek callgirl ka Janaza nikla to use dekh ek aadmi bola
Chalo achha hua akhir aapas mein dono mili to sahi.
Dusre ne pucha kaun dono?
Aadmi ne kaha USKI TANG
फौजी: सारे दुश्मन हमसे डरकॉलेज में स्टूडेंट्सते हैं और हम बीवी से!
प्रोफेसर: मैं को लेक्चर देता हूं और घर में बीवी मुझे!
ऑफिसर: मैं ऑफिस में भले ही बॉस हूं, लेकिन घर में नौकर!
जज: मैं कोर्ट में फैसले सुनाता हूं और घर में खुद इंसाफ की भीख मांगता हूं!
मोची: मैं जूतों की मरम्मत करता हूं और बीवी मेरी!
Waqt ke Tufan me bikharte chale gaye,
Tanhai ki gehrai me utarte chale gye,
Jannat thi har subah sham jin dosto ke sath,
Ek ek kar ke sab bichhadte chale gaye…
Thanks to whatsup.. Sab wapis mil gaye.
Agar aap ladki ke maa baap ka dil jit liya to aap ko v ladki ka dil mil jaega,
Jis ladki ko patana ho uske har ang ki tariff karo, maslan bal se lekar khaal tak.....
dis tip work very nyce.
Q: What is the biggest lie ever told in a hindi movie?
Ans:
Zeenat Aman in a bikini singing & asking “Kya dekhte ho”andFeroz khan answering: Surat tumhari..!!
Murder of english ?
Lady – Hey Fruitwale Baba, give me some Potatoes Fever !!
Fruitwala – O meri behen ye Potatoes Fever kya hota hai?
Lady – O Maye Gaad! You Literacy People!
‘Potatoes Fever’ means ‘Aaloo Bukhara!!!! :-D
Assistant: “Sir, Aap Office Mein Shadi-Shuda Aadmiyon Ko Hi Kyu Rakhte Ho?”
Boss: “Kyunki Unhe Beizzati Sehne Ki Aadat Hoti Hai Aur Ghar Jane Ki Jaldi Bhi Nahi Hoti”
What is fear?
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Asking a question in comedy nights with kapil show.!!!
Paise wala Aadmi:
Aaj mere paas
14 Cars
18 Dukaanein
4 Bangale hain ..
Tumhare paas kya hai??
.
Gareeb Aadmi:
Mere paas 1 beta hai,
Jiski girlfriend teri Beti hai!!
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1,007 votes, average: 3.45 out of 5)
V....is for Valentine ; you are my only Valentine
A.....is for I will Always be yours
L.....is for Love at its most extreme
E.....is for Everlasting love ; Ecstatic love.
N.....is for Never-ending love
T.....is for we will Always be Together forever
I.....is for you being Intelligent and Innocent;
N....is 4 Natures naughty way of saying I luv you to
E.....is for Eternity our love is so ever lasting .