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Julie's Joke
Beautiful Day

Tazi hawa mein phulo ki mahak ho,
Pahli kiran mein chidiyo ki chahak ho,
Jab bhi kholo tum apni palke,
Un palko mein bus khushiyo ki jhalak ho.

Have A Beautiful Day

Jun,25 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Good Morning

All mornings are like Paintings:- 
U need a little inspiration to get going, 
a little smile to brighten up 

An SMS from someone who cares to color ur day... 
Good Morning

Jun,25 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Love You

I finally got my past,
present and future tenses correct today.
I loved you. I love you.
I will love you forever!

Jun,25 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Pahla Operation

Patient: Doctor yeh mera pehla operation hai. thoda dhyaan se karna.
Doctor: dara mat. yeh mera bhi pehla operation hai.

Jun,24 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Paise kharch Karna

Jab bhi ghoomne jao aur paisekharch karne ka waqt aaye to tum bhi paise kharch kiya karo. Ladkon ko ye lagta hai ki agar unke jeevan mein koi ladki aayi to jeb dheeli ho jayegi. Tum kharcha karogi to wo khush ho jayega aur tumhe chahne lagega. Ek baar pyaar ho gaya fir tum batwa ghar bhool jaana – sab chalta hai

Jun,23 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Mohabbat

बंता: यार संता, मोहब्बत शादी से पहले होनी चाहिए या शादी के बाद? संता: शादी से पहले हो या शादी के बाद बस पत्नी को इसकी हवा भी नहीं लगनी चाहिए।

Jun,23 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Boy And Girl

Ultimate truth of college lyf if a girl loves a boy, no one knows except the girl
and if a boy loves a girl, everyone knows except the girl..

Jun,23 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Teacher & Student

Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!

Jun,23 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Angle

Ek Jannat ki Pari ho tum,
Khushbu se bhara Hawa ka jhonka ho tum…
Meri har saans har dhadkan ho tum,
Meri Jan sirf aur sirf meri ho tum

Jun,23 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
terrible Poverty

Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.

Jun,19 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Change The World

Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.

Jun,19 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Fear Of Punishment

Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment and the other by acts of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent then the one derived from fear of punishment.

Jun,19 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
World Blind

An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.

Jun,19 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Integrates Empirically

God does not care about our mathematical difficulties. He integrates empirically.

Jun,19 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Pathhar Maar ke Dekh

Munna bhai:apun ko kaisy pata
chalay ga k ye bakra hai ya
bakri?"
circuit:"simple bhai ,pathar mar
kar dekho,
ager bhaga to bakra aur ager bhagi to bakri.

Jun,19 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Janeman Ke Sitam

Meri Jaanemann kya bataoon,
Kaise sitam dhaati hai
Sapney mein bhi kambakht,
Apney Baap ko leke aati hai

Jun,17 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Treating sex like porn

Treating sex like porn
Although some couples enjoy having raunchy sex, you'd be wise to talk to your partner before you engage in such behaviour.
If you begin being nasty with your lover without knowing if they like it first, chances are the scenario won't end on a happy note.

Jun,15 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Sikha Jata H


Aaj kal har shaks hame zindgi kaise jiye ye sikha jata h
unhe kaun samjhaye?
koi khwab hmara b adhura he
warna hmse behtar jina kise aata he

Jun,12 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Your Education

India is nation and Dadar is station
wha wha
India is nation and& dadar is station
Do not fall in love, First complete your Education.

Jun,12 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Windows


To turn of any program use this key
Alt+F4
it will work in all Windows

Jun,11 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
vidya

Teacher: raju, tum kis liye college aate ho?
Student: vidya ke khaatir
Teacher: toh ab so kyu rahe ho?
Student: aaj vidya nahi aayi hai sir

Jun,11 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Jab apki yaad


Ankhon se barsaat hoti hain Jab apki yaad saath
hoti hai, Jab b busy rahe mera cell to Samajh lena
aapki hone wali Bhabhi se meri baat hoti hain 

Jun,8 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Bilkul jaayega

Lady to rikshwalla: under tak jaayega?
Rikshawalla: Bilkul jaayega madam,
aapke liye toh khada kiya hai.
Lady: Thik hai toh..ghumake phicche se le lo.

Jun,8 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Tell me

Tell me about Yourself?

 Walk me through you CV?

Introduce yourself/ अपने  बारे  में  हमें  बताएं ?

Jun,4 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Mauka hi nahi diya

Teacher: Hindi hamaari matri-bhasha hai, ise pitra-bhasha kyon nahi kehte?
Student: Kyon ki mata ji ne kabhi pija ji ko bolne ka mauka hi nahi diya.

Jun,4 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Girlfriend

Marij: Dr.sahib mera khada nahi hota.
Dr.: Ru married? NO
Dr.: Do u have girlfriend? NO
Dr.: Muth marte ho? NO
To BC khada karke dolu taangega kya

Jun,4 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Friends

R we friends or r we not u told me once but
i 4got 4 all da friends iv eva met ur da 1
wont 4get n if i die b4 u do ill go 2 heaven n wait 4 u.

Jun,2 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Aapki yaado mein

Kitne chehre hai duniya mein,
Magar humko ek chehra nazar aata hai,
Duniya ko ab hum kya yaad kare,
Aapki yaado mein hi waqt saara guzar jata hai

Jun,2 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Full Blown Fire

Romance between you and your partner in the bedroom slowing down? Getting tired of trying the same old positions? Or maybe you fancy a bit of fun outside the bedroom? We have the top 40 sex positions everyone needs to know about! 

Trying new positions isn't just for that exciting honeymoon period, anyone can rekindle the spark with their long-term partner by trying something new in 2015. You don't have to be super flexible or wildly adventurous either - we have ideas for anyone to try!  

Whether you decide to spice things up with a 'sultry saddle' one night, or try a 'spider' the next, we've included easy-to-follow pictures along with a full explanation, difficultly rating and a fun rating - you can even click through to read more about every position. 

Why not work your way through the gallery until you get to number one - the most popular of all our sex positions, as voted for by you. That one must be pretty close to guaranteed satisfaction, then!

Every sex position worth knowing about is right here, so take a look and we guarantee things in your bedroom will be becoming less of a flicker and more of a full-blown fire in no time!

May,29 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
What We May Be

We know what we are, but know not what we may be.

May,29 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
To protect the spines of books

To protect the spines of books 

assuming you still have any  bookmark them by leaving them open and hanging them off the edge of a desk or table. Never place books open, face-down, on a flat surface.

May,29 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Impossible

It is impossible to lick your elbow

May,29 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Cameo Appearance

Director Subhash Ghai made a cameo appearance in ‘Aradhana’ (1969), which he anyway does for all his films.

May,29 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Great Deeds

Good thoughts precede great deeds. Great deeds precede success. Have a great day. Good Morning

May,28 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Poke Its Tongue

A crocodile can’t poke its tongue out

May,27 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
HR Interview Question List

Tell us something about yourself. 
Why do you consider yourself a suitable candidate for this position?
Why do you want to leave your present job or company?
You have stayed in your current job for quite a long time, why?
What do you know about us?
What do you do to improve your knowledge?
Can you perform under pressure?
Tell us some of your strengths.
Tell us some of your weaknesses.
Are you comfortable working in a team?
How do you rate your communication skills?
You do not have all the experience we need for this position?
How would you compensate for the lack of experience you have for this position?
If you were hiring for this position, what qualities would you look for in a potential candidate?
Do you know anyone who works for us?
What is your style of management?
Have you ever fired anyone? How would you go about firing a person, if required?
What irritates you about co-workers?
Is there any particular kind of person you can not work with?
What qualities would you look for in your senior?
What motivates you at work?
Will you be happy to work in night shifts or over the weekends?
Have you ever committed a mistake at work?
What position would you prefer while working on a project?
What are the most important things for you as a manager?
Will you be happy to re-locate, if required?
What kind of a salary are you looking for? 
Do you have any questions for us?

Discuss the most stressful situation you came across in your previous job.
For how long do you expect to stay with our organization?
Why should we hire you?
Discuss your strengths 
Discuss your weaknesses and how do you plan to overcome it
What is your idea of an ideal company?
Why are you leaving your previous job?
Tell us something about your achievements at your previous job.
Tell us what do you know about our company
Are you willing to relocate/travel?
Are you a good team player?
Can you work independently?
Do you have any questions for us?
Are you willing to work for long hours, if the project demands that from you?
What is your current CTC and what are your expectations?
Are you planning to go for further studies?
Tell us something about yourself, discuss 5 characteristics
Tell us something about your hobbies
What is more important to you money or success?

 

May,27 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
To Hell And Back

I Was A Crack Addict For Over 20 Years, Homelessness, And Incarceration,,Not Trying To Sound Corny But You Must Be Tired Of Being Tired, To I Speak At Schools, Colleges, Juvenile Centers, Jails. I Am Also A Certified Chaplain, Teaching Life Skills To Men And Women Re entering Back Into Society After Jails, And Prison. I Also Help Teens To Get Out Of That Gang Life Mentality, Its About REACH ONE, TEACH ONE., Cheak Out Our Organization In Which I Am Founder And Director,, GAINING GROUND We Are A Non Profit 501 c3 Check Out Some Of The Videos In Publication Scroll Up,I Am Also An Author Of A Book Called TO HELL AND BACK, www.gainingground.us Or GO tO gOOGLE tyPE iN DALERAYSMITH yEP tHROUGH tHE gRACE oF gOD I aM hERE tO lEAVE a legacy To Those Who've Lost Their Way,, U Can Find Your Way Out Just Never Give Up NEVER!

May,27 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Staff Ke Lie Kursi Bhi Na Ho

Santa apni biwi k office gaya
to usne dekha k uski biwi
boss ki godi me baithi dictation le rahi thi.

Santa:- Chal LAajo, aisi jagah kaam nahi karna
jahan staff k liye kursi bhi na ho

May,26 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Nayi Ladki Pataenge

Chhod diye wo kam jinke galat the anjam,
Ab kuchh din nek kamo me bitayenge,
Aur 12thpass karne ke baad hi,
Koi nayi ladki ptayenge.

May,26 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Devdas

Khushbu ne phool ko khas banaya
Phool ne mali ko khas banaya
Chahat ne mohabbat ko khas banaya
Kambakht mohabbat ne kitno ko devdas banaya.

May,25 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Tamatar Khao

Bhikari- Kuch Khane ko de do
Ladki- TAMATAR KHAO
Bhikari- Roti de do
Ladki - TAMATAR KHAO
Bhikari- Achcha Lao tamatar hi de do
Ladki ki maa- Are Tum jao baba Ye totli hai keh rahi hai KAMA KAR KHAO.

May,23 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Chuninda Bhikhari

Baba ji ka mela laga hai haridwar mein.
Prashad mein Recharge Coupon diye jayenge.
Kisi aur ko mat batana.
Ye SMS sirf chuninda bhikhariyon ko bheje ja raha hai

May,20 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Problems of Short Typing

Problems due to whatsapp short typing.
She asked me: Main kaunsi university main admission lu?
I said: MU mein le le
(Mumbai University)
She is not talking to me anymore.

May,18 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
I lose

I wish I could loose weight as easy as I lose my pens,keys,smartphone,my temper and even my mind.

May,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
I can

I can see you checking my whatsapp status

May,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
INTZAR

Barso ke bad hoti hai mulakat,
fir bhi rahti hai Dil me Dil ki bat,
Nazro se karna padta h pyar,
Par Nazar milane k liye b karna padta hai Intzar

May,12 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Gussa Na Kare

Us Par Kabhi Bhi Gussa Na Kare, Hamesha Pyaar Se Hi Pesh Aaye.

 

May,11 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Remote Control To Others

If Someone Says Bad Things About Us, We Feel Bad ….

If Someone Says Good Things About Us, We Feel Good …

The Question Is :Have We Given Our Remote Control To Others ?

May,8 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Madad Kare

Aap Jis Ladki Ko Patana Chahte Hai Use Agar Koi Pareshaan Kar Raha Ho To Aap Us Ladki Ki Madad Kare, Isse Wo Ladki Aapse Turant Pat Jayegi.

May,7 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Peechhe hatao

Circus mein ladki ne sher ko kiss kiya to
Ring mastar ne kaha Aap mein se koi yeh kar sakta hai,
Santa- Zarur par pehle iss sher ko peeche hatao! 

May,5 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
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