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Sophia's Joke
Aim at Heaven

Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.

Nov,27 2015
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Never Eat

What you can never eat during the lunch or supper?
Answer: BREAKFAST.

Nov,25 2015
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Argument

 Don not raise your voice, improve your argument. 

Nov,24 2015
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स्टाफ रूम

टीचर बच्चों को बम से बचने का तरीका सीखा रहा था,
टीचर: बच्चों बताओ अगर स्कूल के सामने बम रखा है , तो क्या करोगे?
पप्पू : 1, 2 घंटे देखेंगे, फिर,
टीचर: फिर क्या?
पप्पू : फिर कोई ले जाता है तो ठीक,
नहीं तो स्टाफ रूम में रख देंगे.

Nov,20 2015
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Roadies Ka Safar

Rajinikanth got selected in Roadies.
Next day during vote out.
RAJINIKANTH: I m sorry Raghu, apka Roadies ka safar yahi khatam hota hai.

Nov,18 2015
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पता चलता है

हिंदी मीडियम से पढ़ाई करने वाले लोग उस समय घोर depression में चले जाते हैं जब उन्हें पता चलता है कि,
स्कूल से लेकर नौकरी तक जिसे जिसे वे इजकलटू कहते थे वह तो दरअसल इज इक्वल टू था।

Nov,17 2015
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Tumhaari Dukan

Santa: Tumhaari Dukan Par Itni Mithai Rakhi Rehti Hai,
Kabhi Khaane Ka Mann Nahi Karta?
Banta: Mann Toh Bahut Karta Hai Par Papa Maarenge,
Isliye Chaatkar Rakh Deta hoon.

Nov,16 2015
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Love Story

Old Love Story: Start from eyes,
Grow with gifts,
End with tears.
New Love Story: Start from mobile,
Grow with balance share,
End with SIM Change.

Nov,11 2015
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Aqalmand Santa

Santa fouj me bharti hua
2 din bad jung suru ho gai
santa ki topi per goli lagi
santa ne hathiyar phenk kar bola
aqalmand ke liye ishara kafi he.

Nov,10 2015
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High Motivation

Candidates for sales roles are likely to be required to exhibit a competitive nature,
High motivation to achieve results, and the ability to initiate and close sales.

Nov,9 2015
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Thurki Condector

Bas mai condector: Madam is bachhou ki age kitni hai?
Mahila: Chhota bachha 2 sal, bich ka 2.5 sal ka or bada bachha 3 sal ka.
Bas condector: Madam ticket nahi lena ho to age bhale hi kam batao
Par gape to kam se kam 9 mahine ka rakho.
Madam: Bich ka

Nov,9 2015
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Milne Gaya Tha

Teacher: Kal School kyon nahi aaye tum?
Pappu: GirlFriend Se Milne Gaya Tha.
Teacher: Kis Liye?
Pappu: Yes Sir.
Teacher: Maine Pucha Kis Liye?
Pappu: Liye Sir Bahut liye.

Nov,9 2015
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Baki Hai

Teri dosti ki aadat si pad gayi hai mujhe,
Kuch der tere sath chalana baki hai.
Shamshan mein jalta chodkar mat jana,
Warna ruh kahegi k ruk ja,
Abhi tere yaar ka dil jalna baki hai.

Nov,6 2015
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Choti Pe

Master ji studnt se bole koi ashiqi wala sher sunao.
Studnt: Kutta marta haddi pe,
Bhuka marta roti pe,
Masterji tumhari do beti hai,
Par mai mrta hun choti pe.

Nov,5 2015
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Mazak Ki Aadat

Patni: Suno ji aapko mujhme kya achcha lagta hai.
Meri samajhdari ya meri beauty.
Pati: Mujhe to tumhari ye mazak karne ki aadat bahot pasand hai.

Nov,5 2015
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Shisha

Boss: Mere liye ak shisha lekar aao jisme
main apna muh dekh sakun.
Santa: Nahi mila sir.
Sab me mera hi muh dikh raha hai.

Nov,5 2015
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Company Value

What exactly does this company value the most, and how do you think my work for you will further these values?

Nov,3 2015
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No Sorry No Thanx

People say that..
“No Sorry and No Thanks
In Friendship or in A Relationship..!!”

But reality is:
These 2 words actually save the relations..!!

Oct,27 2015
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Translation

Sumona: Is Line Ko English Main Translate Karo,
Usne Apna Kaam Kia Or Karta Hi Gaya.
Kapil: He Done His Work And Done Dana Dan, Done Dana Dan.

Oct,12 2015
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Fansi Ka Order

Kab se me sun rha hu tumari bak bak.
Wah Wah.
Kab se me sun rha hu tumari buk buk.
ACP: Ab bus intjar karte rehna jail me fansi ka order aane tak.

Oct,12 2015
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Hansimazaak Boy & Girl Joke


Oct,11 2015
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Bachpan

Itna khubsurat kaise muskura lete ho,
Itna qatil kaise sharma lete ho,
Kitni aasani se jaan le lete ho,
Kisi ne sikhaya hai ya bachpan se hi kamine ho?

Oct,6 2015
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Hoshiyaari

Kapil: Kitne paise huye?
Auto driver: 50 Rs.
Kapil: Ye le 25 Rs.
Auto driver: Ye kya sirf 25 Rs. baaki ke 25 kaun dega?
Kapil: Waah beta mujhse hoshiyaari Tu bhi to baith k aaya hai to sharing ka paisa kon dega Tera baap?

Oct,5 2015
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Khubsurat

Hasrat hain sirf tumhey paaney ki,
Aur koyi khawahish nahin is deewane ki,
Shikwa mujhe tum se nahin khuda se hain,
Kya zrurat thi tumhe itna khubsurat bnane ki.

Sep,29 2015
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अहंकार

जीत किसके लिए हार किसके लिए,
ज़िंदगी भर ये तकरार किसके लिए,
जो भी आया है वो जायेगा एक दिन,
फिर ये इतना अहंकार किसके लिए.

Sep,29 2015
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Jagran

Sajaa darwar hai or ek jyoti jagmagayi hai,
Naseeb jagega un jagran karane walo ka,
Naseeb jagega jagran me aane walo ka,
Wo dekho mandir me meri maat muskarayi hai,
HAPPY NAVRATRI.

Sep,28 2015
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शमशान घाट

एक आदमी: नेता जी हमारे इलाके में शमशान घाट नहीं है.
नेता: आप मुझे एक बार वोट डाल कर जिता दीजिये मैं आपके इलाके में जगह जगह शमशान घाट बनवा दूंगा.

Sep,28 2015
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Dil

Dhadkano Ko Sunkar Bhi Tumhe Pyaar Ki Khabar Nahi Hoti.
Kya Mahsoos Karoge Tum Dil Ka Dard,
Dil Tutne Ki To Awaz Bhi Nahi Hoti.

Sep,25 2015
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Station

Santa: Station jaane k kitne logay?
Rikshawala: 50.
Santa: 20 lelo.
Riksha: 20 main kon le k jaayeega?
Santa: Tum piche bheto hum leke jaayega.

Sep,24 2015
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कुत्ता

गाँव में बिजली आनी थी।
लोग खुश हो नाच रहे थे।
एक कुत्ता भी नाचने लगा।
किसी ने पूछा: तू क्यूँ नाचा?
कुत्ता: खंबे भी तो लगेंगे।

Sep,19 2015
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Garibi

Garibi Se Tang Ek Pati Ne Apni Patni Ko Kaha: Lagta Hai Ab Dosto Ke Aage Hath Feylane Padenge.
Patni: Jaldi Se Aap Apne Haath Fela Lo Nahi To Mujhe Apni Taangein Feylaani Padengi.

Sep,16 2015
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B 4 Banana

A FOR apple B for banana,
A for apple B for banana,
ACP: Daya kuch bhi ho jaye,
Goli mat chalana.

Sep,15 2015
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Rural

Truly rural. (x3)

Sep,14 2015
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Guddu

Ek Aadmi Raat Ko Duty Ke Bad Ghar Aaya.
Darwaja Knock Kiya To Ander Se Biwi Ki Awaj Aayi.
Biwi: Kon?
Aadmi: Guddu Ka Papa.
Biwi Chonkte Hue: Haye Main Mar Gayi, Fir Ander Kon Hai.

Sep,14 2015
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Bus Stand Bikari

Sep,11 2015
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Mubarak Ho

Son: Papa Ap Ko Yaad Hai,
Ap Ne Kaha Tha Ki Agar Exam Me Paas Hua,
To 5000 Rs Inam Denge.
Papa: Han Han Bilkul Yaad Hai.
Son: To Mubarak Ho,
Ap Ke 5000 Bach Gaye.

Sep,11 2015
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Dost Ki Yaad

Dost Ki Yaad Se Badi Koi Doulat Nhi Hoti,
Sath Rehna Hi Dost Ki Jarurat Nahin Hoti.
Duriyan Kar Deti Hain Yaadon Ko Jinda,
Warna Yadon Ki Koyi Kimat Nahin Hoti.!

Sep,10 2015
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Raaton Main

Lafzo Ki Tarah Mujhe Kitaabon Me Milna,
Banke Mahak Mujhe Gulaabon Me Milna,
Jub Bhi Mujhe Aapki Yaad Aaye,
To Banke Sapne Mujhe Raaton Me Milna.

Sep,8 2015
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Santa In Lift

Girl: Mehnga Perfume Laga K Lift Me Ayi,
Or Santa Ko Akad K Boli,
Cobra Perfume, Rs6000.
Achanak Lift Ruk Gayi Or Khuch Smell Aayi.
Ladki Ne Apna Naak Pakda Or Santa Ko Dekhne Lagi,
Santa With Smile: Muli 14 Rupey Kilo.
Ladki Behosh.

Sep,7 2015
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Girl Crying

Sep,3 2015
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नया सिपाही

सिपाही (इंस्पैक्टर से): सर ये बिलकुल गलत है कि मैं उस चोर से डर गया था।
इंस्पैक्टर: तो तुम उस गाडी के पिछे क्यों छिपे थे?
नया सिपाही: जी वह तो मैं कुत्ता देख कर छिपा था ।

Sep,3 2015
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Kutte Ka Anda


Rajnikant: Aaj Mere Kutte Ne Anda Diya.
Big B: Kutta Kab Se Anda Dene Laga?
Rajnikant: Ye Rajni Ka Style Hai,
Maine Apni Murgi Ka Naam Kutta Rakha Hai.

Sep,2 2015
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Reduce Weight

How to reduce weight?
First turn your head to the right and then to the left.
Repeat this one whenever you have given something to eat.

Aug,31 2015
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SPARE WIFE

HUSBAND And WIFE Are Like 2 Tyres Of A Vehicle.
If 1 Punctures, The Vehicle Can not Move,
Further.
M0ral: Always Keep A SPARE TYRE.

Aug,31 2015
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Shagun Apshagun

Santa singh to Banta Singh: Jaldi Kar Khidki se Kood ja, Police hamare peechey Padi hui hai.
Banta looks from the window and says: Par ye to 13th Floor hai.
Yaha se kaise Koodu?
Santa: Are tu is time Shagun Apshagun mat soch, Bas Kood Ja.

Aug,31 2015
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Always With You

My real smile comes when i am with you Darling.

Aug,26 2015
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Gawaar Ki Soch

Aapne kabhi socha hai.
Mirch ankho ke alawa or kaha kaha lagti hai?
Sochiye.
Kheto mai lagti hai.
Padhe likhe gawaar hmesha bas ulta sochlo.

Aug,26 2015
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Tum Par Yaqeen

Mohabbat Par Itna Yaqeen to Na Tha,
Jitna Tum Par Hai,
AyE JaAn,
Bus Itna khyal Rakhna,
AGar WaFa Na kar Sako To,
Dhoka Bhi Mat deNa.

Aug,21 2015
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Sarson Ka Tel

Girls hostel me phone aaya: Meena hai kya?
Warden ne pucha: Piche kya lagati hai?
Jawab aaya: Ab to pata nahi pehle sarson ka tel lagati thi.

Aug,20 2015
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Dil Mein Ijjat

Ek Bar Santa Galti Se Ladies Toilet Mein Guss Gaya.
Vaha Bethi Ladies Ek Dum Se Gabra Ke Khadi Ho Gayi.
Santa Ne Unhe Dekha Aur Muskurate Hue Kaha.
Santa: Arey Betho Betho, Ijjat Dil Mein Ho Bas Yahi Kafi Hai.

Aug,20 2015
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