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Sophia's Joke
Mein Tera Khoon

Q. Vampires ko kiski movies dekhna pasand hai?
Socho…
Hint: Apna Bollywood ka hero hai..
ab bhi nahin pata?
simple hai yaar…
Dharmendra ki. (Kutte kamine mein tera khoon pee jaunga)

Jul,7 2015
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Chandigarh Nu America

Sardar: Bhagwan Chandigarh nu America di capital bana de. Plz plz plz…
Banta: Par kyun???
Sardar: Kyunki main paper vich ye hi likh aaya hun…..

Jul,6 2015
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Dudh Aur Ladki Me Kya Fark

Dudh Aur Ladki Me Kya Fark Hai!!
Socho
Socho
Dudh Garam Hota Hai
To
Mallai Uppar Aati Hai
Or Ladki Garam Ho
To Mallai Niche Aati Hai

Jul,4 2015
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Ladki Wale Ladke Se

Ladki Wale Ladke se: Beta kya karte ho?
Ladka: Jee Administrative Department mein Hu.
Ladki Wale (Khush Hokar): Kaun si Company mein Beta.
Ladka: Whatsapp par 3-4 Groups ka Admin Hu.
Dedicated to All Admins
Bin Pagaar Full Adhikaar..

Jul,3 2015
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Farz Banta Hai

Ladke ne Ladki ko Aankh maari
Ladki: Mai esi wesi ladki nahi hu ..
Ladka: Wo to theek hai par check karna hamara Farz banta hai!

Jul,3 2015
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Hasrat Hain Sirf


Hasrat hain sirf tumhe paane ki,
Aur koi khawahish nahi is deewane ki,
Shikwa mujhe tumse nahi khuda se hai,
Kya zarurat thi tumhe itna khubsurat banaane ki.

Jul,3 2015
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Watch his mouth

A woman can’t control on what a man says, but she can control how she feels while he’s saying it. When she is speaking, your eyes should travel around her face, coming to rest frequently on her mouth. 

Jul,2 2015
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Only 1 Thing

There is only 1 thing 2 do, 3 words for you - I Love You

Jul,2 2015
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Funny Boy

Jul,1 2015
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Funny Fruit Seller

Jul,1 2015
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Vidhya Ki Khatir

Teacher: raju tum kis liye college aate ho?
Student: vidya ke khaatir
Teacher: toh ab so kyu rahe ho?
Student: aaj vidya nahi aayi hai sir.

Jun,30 2015
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Shayri

Jun,26 2015
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भाप बनूँ तो डरते भी हो

गर्मी में तुम मुझको खाते,
मुझको पीना हरदम चाहते,
मुझसे प्यार बहुत करते हो,
पर भाप बनूँ तो डरते भी हो।

उत्तर : पानी

Jun,26 2015
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Subhkamnain

Kumkum bhare kadmon se aaye LAXMIJEE apke dwar,
sukh sampatimile aapko apar,
Deepawali ki subhkamnain kare sweekar.
HAPPY DIWALI.

Jun,25 2015
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Raat hai kafi

Raat hai kafi, thandi hawa chal rahi hai,
Yaad mein aapki kisi ki muskan khil rahi hai,
Unke Sapno ki duniya mein aap kho jao,
Aankh karo band or aaram se so jao.

Jun,25 2015
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Mujhse Pyar

Tum bahaar ho bahaar hee rehna,
mere dil ke ghar mein hee chhupi rehna,
bacha lunga tumhein main sab dukho se aansuon se,
bas mujhse PYAAR karti rehna…

Jun,25 2015
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Jai & Vijay

जय- यार मेरी बीवी मर गई,
मगर बहुत चाहने के बावजूद भी मेरी आंखों से आंसू नहीं निकले,
लोग इसे बहुत बुरा मान रहे हैं, क्या करूं?
विजय- कुछ नहीं, बस मन में सोचो कि वो वापस आ गई है।

Jun,24 2015
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Shaadi Nahi Ho Sakti

Boy: kal maine tumhaare ghar gaya tha. lagta hai hamaari shaadi nahi hogi.
girl: kyu? pappa se mile the kya?
Boy: nahi tumhaare behan se milaa tha.

Jun,24 2015
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Phir Judaa na Ho

Kash Koi Mile Is Tarah Ke Phir Judaa Na Ho
Wo Samjhe Mere Mizaz Ko Aur Kabhi Khafa Na Ho
Apne Ehsaas Se Baant Le Saari Tanhayi Meri
Itna Pyaar De Jo Pehle Kabhi Kisi Ne Diya Na Ho.

Jun,23 2015
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fact About Heart Attack

Heart attacks are more likely to happen on a Monday.

Jun,19 2015
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Call From User

An office technician got a call from a user. The user told the tech that her computer was not working. She described the problem and the tech concluded that the computer needed to be brought in and serviced.
He told her to "Unplug the power cord and bring it up here and I will fix it."
About fifteen minutes later she shows up at his door with the power cord in her hand.


Jun,19 2015
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Wife From Guests

DrivingMan returning with his wife from guests.
Drunk man drives car better than his sober wife.
But there is only one problem, how to explain that
to the policeman?

 

Jun,12 2015
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Way To Success

Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success. 

Jun,6 2015
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Shayri Sunte Raho

Ladkiyan Shayari pasand karti hai, isliye aksar unhe unki khubsurti par koi Shayari sunate rahe, aisa karte rahne se wo aapke pyaar me pagal ho jayegi. 

Jun,6 2015
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Goli Mat Chalana

A for apple B for banana,
Daya kuch bhi ho jaye
goli mat chalana.

Jun,6 2015
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Reduce Alcohol Consumption

One Good Way To Reduce Alcohol Consumption
Before Marriage = Drink Whenever You Are SAD
Affter Marriage = Drink Whenever You Are HAPPY

Jun,6 2015
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kar gayi wo

cham cham karti aayi wo
cham cham karti chali gayi wo
tu lund khole khara tha
KLPD kar gayi wo

Jun,2 2015
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100% Kamayi

1Apni Biwi Ko Apni 100% Kamayi Dene Se 10% Sukh Milta Hai
Aur Girlfriend Ko Apni Kamayi Ka 10% Dene Se 100% Sukh Milta Hai.
Paisa Apka Faisla Apka Jago Grahak Jago.

Jun,2 2015
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Like clothes

May God increase ur happiness like prices of petrol,
and decrease sorrows like clothes of Bipasha Basu.

Jun,2 2015
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Tera Baap Docter

Child 1: Tera baap doctor hai
fir bhi tu beemar ho gaya
Kitne sharam ki baat hai
Child 2: tera baap Condom bechta hai
fir bhi tu paida hua na chutiye.

Jun,2 2015
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Andha Hun Pagal Nahi


Girl to her Blind Boyfriend:
Kash tum dekh sakte main kitni khubsurat hu.

Boy: itni khubsurat hoti toh kya Aankh
wale Tujhe Mere liye chhod jate Kamini andha hu Pagal nahi.

Jun,2 2015
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Pigment In The Palms

Humans are the only primates that don't have pigment in the palms of their hands.

May,29 2015
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Awesome Morning.

Success comes to those who have the will power to win over their snooze buttons. Wishing you an awesome morning.

May,28 2015
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Avoid Opening Unknown Emails

Avoid Opening Unknown Emails

 

Never open an email from an unknown or suspicious source, and definitely never open any attachments contained in them. You have to be careful of emails coming from people on your contact list as well, especially if the sender’s account has been hacked. If an email from someone you regularly communicate with has a suspicious link and unusual content, delete it and immediately alert this person that his or her account may have been compromised. This will help you prevent hacking and phishing scams where you may be a target.

A great way to give yourself an overall umbrella of protection is to use Kaspersky products. Its Internet security and anti-virus software protects you from malware, spyware, and viruses, and it comes with parental controls as well. Doing some of the legwork on your own certainly helps keep you safe, but use Kaspersky if you want to make sure all your bases are covered.

Do you know of any other ways to protect your personal computer?

May,27 2015
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Born With Three Hundred Bones

You're born with 300 bones, but by the time you become an adult, you only have 206.

May,27 2015
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I Can See Your Whatsapp Status

I can see you checking my whatsapp status. 

May,26 2015
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Mera Naam Babbar Billu

Mera Naam Hai Babbar Billu
Mera Lund Hai 56 Killo
Dharti Pe Rakho To Kunwa(Well) Khud Jaye
Tu To Kya Teri Maa Bhi Cudd Jaye

May,26 2015
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Antarctica Main Thums up Thandda Karne Wale

Agar Aap Antarctica ke baraf main Thumbs Up ka bottle thanda karne ko 'Toofani Karna' kehte hai, to Global Warming ki kasam aap chutiye hain

May,26 2015
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Kiss Liye

Mom- Itni Raat Gaye Kaha Gaye The?
Beta- Apni Girl Friend Se Milne.
Mom- Kis Liye?!
Beta- Haa Mom,
Bahut KISS Liye!!

May,18 2015
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I am pregnant

Sardar was very angry because all jokes were about him; he asked his wife, tell me one joke without my involvement. His wife said: I am pregnant.

May,8 2015
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Salty Lips

A drunken says while kissing his girlfriend: darling your lips are very salty.
Girl: stupid stand up.

May,8 2015
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Khada Kar Diya

Uss Ne Hothon Se Chhu Kar Lowde Pe Nasha Kar Diya;
Lund Ki Baat To Aur Thi, Uss Ne To Jhaton Ko Bhi Khada Kar Diya!

May,7 2015
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JOHN-AB-RAHAM kar

Q: What did Bipasha Basu say when she got tired of sex?

A: JOHN-AB-RAHAM kar


May,7 2015
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Hair Style

Agar Aap Jante Hai Ki Wo Kis Film Hero Ki Fane Hai To Aap Usi Hero Ke Jaisi Hair Style Rakhe Aur Usi Ki Tarah Dikhne Ki Khoshish Kare. Ladki Aapse Impress Hogi Hi.

May,7 2015
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Ajeeb Cheez

Yeh LADKI bhi ajeeb cheez hai yaar, 
zara sa kuch KAHO to mooh foola deti hai 
aur zara sa kuch KARO to pait foola deti hai !

May,6 2015
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Nasha
May,6 2015
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Mid Night Kiss

Can we do romance in the Mid Night today…
I’m in a good mood…
Just a little bit of kiss n biting…
Reply me soon…
Ur loving mosquito 

May,5 2015
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Whatsapp status
An unmarried man wrote his status on facebook as: “Wanted wife” 2 girls liked it. And 10000 men commented “Meri leja”
May,5 2015
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RUMAL sath rakhna
Jivan main ek baat yaad RAKHNA Aansu PONCHHNE wale bahot milenge But Naak PONCHNE wala koi nahi milega, So hamesha RUMAL sath rakhna.
May,5 2015
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Designer suit
Touching story: A boy and girl want for a walk. While walking, boy hits his leg to a stone and starts bleeding. He looks at her hoping that she would tear her dupata and wrap it around his leg. She looks in his eyes and says.. “Soch bhi mat! Designer suit hai..!”
May,5 2015
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