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Bhagwan ka diya sab kuch hai.
Books hai, Notes hai, Time hai,
Aur dimag to itna hai ke,
jab chahe padh ke TOP kar sakte hai.
Bas 1 hi bat ki kami hai Mood,
Salaa banta hi nahi.
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Nani to a kid: Soja DIPLOMA soja.
Padosan: Diploma kyo bulati ho isse?
Nani: Meri ladki College DIPLOMA lene gayi thi,
Ye leke aa gayi.
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Teacher: Pappu batao, Yea sign % tune kaha dekha.
Awsme answer by Pappu: Teacher ji jab car me,
Ladkiya sit belt pehnti hai.
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Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai,
To sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo.
Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega,
Par mere baap ka bigad jayega.
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Teacher: Oxygen is must for Breathing.
It was discovered in 1773.
Santa: Thank God I was born after that.
Pehla Paida hota to mar hi jata.
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Sir: Kaunsa Panchi sabse Tez udta hai?
Papu: Hathi
Sir: Nalayak, Tera Baap kya karta hai..?
Papu: Chota Rajan ke Gang me shooter hai.
Sir: Shabashhhh Hathi sahi jawab hai.
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Master: 2 mein se 2 gaye to kitne rahe?
Pappu: Samjh mein nahi ayaa masterji.
Master: Beta tumare pas 2 Roti hai,
Tumne 2 roti khali, tumare paas kya bacha?
Pappu: Sabji.
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Buzurg: Beta kaise ho?
Boy: Uncle theek hu.
Buzurg: Padhai kaisi chal rahi hai?
Boy: Bilkul aapki zindagi ki tarah.
Buzurg: Matlab?
Boy: Bhagwan ke bharose.
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Me: Darr lag raha hai, kuch nahi aa raha.
Friend: Yeh le Mountain Dew pee.
Me: Drinks 2 bottles.
Friend: Ab kuch aaya?
Me: Haan susu.
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Teacher: Ganga, yamuna, Kaveri, Krishna, Bharat ki
Nadiyo ke naam hai to Pakistan ki nadiyo ke naam batao?
Pappu: Rukhsana, Farzana, Rizwana, Sultana, Shabana.
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Santa: Agar Nariyal Ke Ped Pe Chad Jaun To..
Engineering College Ki Ladkiyan Dikh Jayegi.
Banta: Phir Hath Chhod Dena,
To Medical College Ki Bhi Dikh Jayegi.
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Lady Teacher ne MY TEACHER par 10 lines likhne ko kaha.
Thodi der bad golu ne uthkar pucha: Madam,
MAST CHHAMIYA ko english me kya kahte hain?
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Ek student roz roz Maths ke teacher ko phone lagata.
Teachers wife: Kitni baar bataya ke woh mar chuke hai.
Fir baar baar phone kyu karte ho?
Student: Sun ke accha lagta hai.
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Navjot Singh Siddhu Son in School.
Teacher: What is a Noun?
Son: Mohtarma arjh kiya hai.
Kutta bhi hota hai apni galli me King.
Noun is the name of any Person, Place or Thing.
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College Life
Wallet He, Paise Nahi.
Lecture He, Attendance Nahi.
Cell He, Balance Nahi.
Friends He, Lover Nahi
Exam He, Tension Nahi
Padhna He, Par Saala Mood Nahi
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Ek netaji ke bete ka admission medical college mein ho gaya.
Pahle hi din professor ne poochha: Agar koi vyakti behosh ho jaaye to kya karoge?
Netaji ka beta: Use thoda paani pilaane kee koshish karuunga.
Professor: Aur agar paani na mile to?
Netaji ka beta: To aashvaasan hee de duunga ki tumhe jaldi hi paani pilaya jaayega.
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Students k Dard ko University Kya Jane,
College K Riwajon ko Parents Kya Jane,
Hoti hai Kitni Taqlif 1 Paper Likhne Main,
Wo Paper Check Karne Wala Kya Jane.
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Aasman me kali ghataa chai he,
Aaj fir principal se mar khai he,
Sab kahte he sudhar ja.
Par kya kare aaj medam fir vidhya baalan banke ayi he.
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Teacher: Galti hone pe maafi magne wale ko kya kahte hai?
Stud: Samajhdar.
Teacher: Aur galti na hone pe bhi mafi mangne waale ko kya kahte hai?
Stud: BOYFRIEND.
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LECTURE ME MASTI THI ,
HAMARI BHI KUCH HASTI THI,
TEACHER KA SAHARA THA DIL YE AAWARA THA,
KAHAN AA GAYE IS DEGREE KI AAFAT MEIN YAAR WO SCHOOL HI KITNA PAYARA THA.
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Teacher: Bacho 2 October ke din kya hua tha?
Student: Ajay Devgan apni family ko lekar,
Satsang ke liye panjhi gaya tha,
Aur 3 oct ko vapas lauta tha.
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Son: Papa kal school main
Ek small get together hai chaloge?
Father: Small get together kya hota hai?
Son: Only you me and principal.
Died Laughing.
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Teacher: Kal School kyon nahi aaye tum?
Pappu: GirlFriend Se Milne Gaya Tha.
Teacher: Kis Liye?
Pappu: Yes Sir.
Teacher: Maine Pucha Kis Liye?
Pappu: Liye Sir Bahut liye.
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Father: Beta Tu ne Engineering Ke 4 Saalo Mein,
Sab Se Mushkil Kaam Kon Sa Seekha?
Son: Bus Ki Chatt Pe baith K,
Tezz Hawaon Mein 1 Teeli Se 3 Cigarette Jalana.
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Teacher: Jawani aur Budhape me farak batao?
Student: Jawani me mobile me HASEENO k numbers hote hai,
Aur Budhape me HAKEEMO ke.
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Master ji studnt se bole koi ashiqi wala sher sunao.
Studnt: Kutta marta haddi pe,
Bhuka marta roti pe,
Masterji tumhari do beti hai,
Par mai mrta hun choti pe.
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Madam to boy: Kaha hai copy kaha hai pen.
Boy: Jbse tme dekha kya copy kya pen,
Tere mast mast do nain,
Mere dil ka le gye chain.
Gayab hua copy aur kho gayi pen.
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College is 4 Knowledge,
Knowledge is 4 Life,
Life is 4 Wife,
but
Wife is a knife which cuts ur Life.
So never choose ur Wife in a College Life.
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Students k Dard ko University Kya Jane,
College K Riwajon ko Parents Kya Jane,
Hoti hai Kitni Taqlif 1 Paper Likhne Main
Wo Paper Check Karne Wala Kya Jane.
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In a examination hall,
A girl asks a boy sitting on d desknxt to her:
Mujhe is ans ki starting batade baaki main likh loongi.
Boy says: THE.
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Teacher: kisi aisi jagha ka name batao jaha,
Bhut sare log ho phir bhi aap akely feel karty ho.
Student: Examination hall.
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True Graduation Speech:
First I would like to thank Google.
Secondly, to Copy Paste and thirdly,
to the thank Xerox machine!
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Ishq ke school me naya mahoul taiyar ho gaya,
Pappu ki GF se puri class ko pyar ho gaya,
Bas tabhi se pappu udas ho gaya,
Puri class fail or Pappu pas ho gaya.
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Teacher: Galti hone pe maafi magne wale ko kya kahte hai?
Stud: Samajhdar
Teacher: Aur galti na hone pe bhi mafi mangne waale ko kya kahte hai?
Stud: BOYFRIEND
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Girl: Tum Kya Karte ho?
Boy: Bahut Bade College Mein Logo Ka Admission Karwata Hun.
Girl: Kaun Se College?
Boy: IIN,Recharge Ki Dukan Hai Apni.
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Teacher: Yeh kitab kiski hai?
Student: Sir, kagaj ki.
Teacher: Yeh toh mujhe bhi pataa hai.
Student: Sir, phir puchh kyon rahe hai.
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Har Sawal Se Dat Kar Ladna,
Fekne Me Kami Mat Karna,
Mouka Mila To Peche Bhi Dekhna,
Aur Ek Baath Yaad Rakhna,
Aage Wala Ka Paper Apna Samajhna.
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Ghajini Dekhne k Bad Andaza Hua k
Hum Bhi Amir Khan Se kum Nhi Hai
Hum Bhi Padhta Hay Samajhty hain
Phir 15 Min Bad sab Bhool Jaate hain.
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College ke first day;
Ladka: Tumhara naam kya hai?
Ladki: Mujhe sab didi kehte hai..
Ladka: WOW MUJHE SAB JIJAJI KEHTE HAIN!
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Usko Paane K Liye to Mai Bhagwan Se Bhi Lad
Leta Par Fir Socha,
Exams Chal rahe hai..
Bhagwan Se Panga Thik Nahi
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Larka to Class fellows: Tum pass ho gai ho,
Congrates,
Mouh hi metha krwa do.
Larki: Kiss se?
Larka: Chalo isi see krwa do.
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Madam ladki se: Beta tense kitne type ke hote hai.
Ladki: 3 type ke past, present, future.
Madam: good ek example do.
Ladki: Kal aapke ladke ne mujhe dekha.
Aaj pasand kar liya or mujse pyar ho gaya.
Aur kal wo mujhe bhaga kar le jaiga.
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Studnt: Mam, jab Hindustan ko Hind Pakistan ko Pak Australia ko Aus kahte H to Brazil Or London ko kya kahege?
Techer: Tu apna kam kar haramkhor.
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Teacher: Agar raat me machhar aapko kaate to kya karna chahiye?
Santa: Chup Chap khujakar so Jana Chahiye, kyuki aap Rajnikant to ho nahi jo machhar se sorry bulwa loge.
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Teacher: Mintu, bataao 3 Idiots film dekh kar tumhe kya seekh mili?
Mintu: Ji sir, 3 Idiots film se hame ye shiksha milti hai ki waqt padne par doctor ke alawa engineer bhi delivery karwa sakta hai.
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Exams ka saya hai,
Exam ke dino mein sukh kisne paya hai?
Duniya wale kehte hain ache number lo,
Par inhe kaun samjhaye yeh to moh maya hai.
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Papa: Beti 12th K Bad Kya Karogi?
Beti: B.B.A Karungi.
Papa: Wat is BBA.
Beti: Boyfriend Ki Bike Pr Aish.
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College Boy To Girl: Do Kadam Tum Chalna,
Do Kadam Hum Chalenge,
Phir Kya,
Aage Ja Kar Rikshaw Kar Lenge,
10 Rupaye Tum De Dena, 10 Rupaye Hum De Denge.
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Airtel Girl to College Boy Santa: Kaya aap ke Mobile 4G hai?
Santa: Mere Mobile me 6G hai.
Girl: Impossible.
Santa: U ka hai hamra mobile me double sim hai aur dono me 3G+3G hai,
to ho gaya na madam 6G.
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Midnight coffee,
Long chat,
Birthday bumps,
Bunking classes,
Crush on pal,
Fight marks,
Tears 4 love,
Just every thing,
People call it college.
We call it life.
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