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Funny SMS

Lady - Dr. Mera H0le Bahut Bada Hai.
Dr. H0le Dekh Kar Ye Toh.
Gufa Hai,
Gufa Hai,
Gufa Hai,
Lady (Gusse Main)- Isme 3 Baar
Bolne Ki Kya Zaroorat Hai?
Dr. - Bhen Ki L0di Awaz Gunj Rahi Hai.

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

Lady - Dr. Mera H0le Bahut Bada Hai.
Dr. H0le Dekh Kar Ye Toh.
Gufa Hai,
Gufa Hai,
Gufa Hai,
Lady (Gusse Main)- Isme 3 Baar
Bolne Ki Kya Zaroorat Hai?
Dr. - Bhen Ki L0di Awaz Gunj Rahi Hai.

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

Lady - Dr. Mera H0le Bahut Bada Hai.
Dr. H0le Dekh Kar Ye Toh.
Gufa Hai,
Gufa Hai,
Gufa Hai,
Lady (Gusse Main)- Isme 3 Baar
Bolne Ki Kya Zaroorat Hai?
Dr. - Bhen Ki L0di Awaz Gunj Rahi Hai.

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

He: Can I Kiss You?
She: No
He: Plz....
She: Ok But Don't Tell Anybody.
He: Ooooo, Fir Kya Fayda.
Forget It.

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
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Wife: Suppose Karo Agar Me,
Aapki Har Baat Samjhu
Aur Har Baat Maanu To..??


Husband Hasta Hai.
Bahut Hasta Hai.
Haste Haste Zameen Par Gir Jata Hai,
Aur Khushi Se Chilla K Kahta H.
Saala Suppose Karu To Bhi
Yakeen Nahi Ho Raha.

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

Sharbhi Knoks The Door! His Wife Open The Door
Sharabhi - Who Are U
Wife - Aai La Mujko Bhul Gaya
Sharbhi - Nasha Har Gam Ko Bhula Deta Hai Behan.

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

Humko Yu Pagal Bnana Chhod Do,
Bewajh Har Bat Pe Satana Chhod Do,
Tumhari Khusbu Alag Hi Hoti Hai Mere Dost,
Bartan Wale Sabun Se Nahana Chhod Do.

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

Army Training Ke Dauran.
.
Officer Ne Mukku Se Pucha: 'Ye
Hath Me Kya
Hai?'
Mukku: "Sir, Banduk Hai...!
Officer : "Ye Banduk Nahi! Tumhari
Izzat Hai,
Shaan Hai,
Ye Tumhari Maa Hai Maa.!!"
,
,
Phir Officer Ne Dusre Sipahi Mahesh
Se Pucha:
"Ye Hath Me Kya Hai?"
,
,
Mahesh: "Sir,
Ye Mukku Ki Maa Hai,
Uski Izzat Hai,
Uski Shaan Hai
Aur Hamari Aunty Hai Aunty..!"

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
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Ek Bed Pe 3 Pagal Soo Rahe The.
Teeno Ko Jagah Kam Pad Rahi Thi.
Ek Pagal Uth Ke Niche Chala Gaya.
Toh
Baki Do Pagal Bole :
" Vapas Uper Aaja,
Ab Jagah Ho Gai Hai..!!

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak


North, South, East, West- Directions In Usa.


Lala Ki Dukaan, Momos Valla,
Hanuman Mandir Se Right,
Mereko Ni Pata - Directions In India.

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

Gajodhar Bhaiya Ki Bibi Unki Saali Se
"Tu Saare Kaam Mein Bekar Hai,
Tu Kuchh Bhi Dhang Se Nahi Kar Sakti"
Saali - "Bistar Mein To Tumse Achha Karti Hoon"
Gajodhar Bhaiya Ki Bibi - "Kisane Kaha Tumse"
Saali Chehre Par Gulabi Muskan Bikherte Hue
"Jeeju Bol Rahe The".

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak


Kamine Dost..!!
1st Frnd-- Me Aisa Kya Karu K Teri Shadi Ke Baad,
Teri Wife Ko Cinema Lekar Jaun Or Tu Naaraz Bhi Na Ho,
2nd Frnd-- Meri Shaadi Apni Behen Se Karva De..
Phir Tu Gale Me Haath Dalke Bhi Cinema Dekh,
Me Naaraz Nahi Hounga..!!

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
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Father: Beti Aaj Tumne Phone Par,
Sirf Ek Ghanta Baat Ki,
.
Tum Ne To Kabi 4 Ghante Se Kam Baat Hi Nahi Ki,
.
.
.
.
.
Beti: Papa Ye Wrong Number Tha.

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

Wife Bathroom Se Naha Ke Nikli,
To Pappu Use Ghur Raha Tha!
.
.
Wife Romantic Hokar:
Kuch Karne Ka Irada Hai Kya?
.
.
Pappu 2 Thappad Maar Ke Bola:
.
.
.
.
Mere Garm Pani Se Kyu Nahayi!!

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak


Pappuko Fire Brigade Main Naukari Mil Gayi
-
-
Ek Lady Ne Call Kiya:
Hello Mere Ghar Par Aag Lagi Hai
-
-
Pappu: Apne Pani Daala....??
Lady: Haa, Par Aag Bujhi Nahi.
-
-
Pappu: Pagal, Fir Hum Aa Kar Kya Karenge.
Hum Bhi To Pani Hi Dalenge Na.

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak


In Metro-

He - Hey!
Are You Single ?

She- Ummm,
Yes !

He- Toh Ladkiyo Wale Dabbe Me Jaya
Kar Na Behan,
Yaha Kyo Seat Rok Ke Baithi Hai.

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
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Engineering Students Ragging Kyu Nahi Karte ???
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kyuki Kaunsi Exam K Baad,
Kon Senior Ho Jaaye
Pata Hi Nahi Chalta...!

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak


1 Friend-Agr Muje Apni Gf
Facebook Par Milegi To
Uske Wall Pr Kya Likunga.
2 Friend- Tum Likna Ki
"Is Wall Par Pesaab Krna Mana Hai"

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

Ek Ladke Ne Brand New Jaguar Car Le Li
Aur Apni Girlfriend Ko Dikhane Ke Liye
Uske Paas Gaya,
.
.
Ladki : Wow...!!
New Car.! Aur Wo Bhi PUMA Ki...!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Abhi Tak Ladka Icu Me Admit Hai Aur
Becchara Sadme Se Bahar Nahi Aa Raha Hai.

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

Ek Light Bulb Ko Badalne Ke Liye,
5 Ladkiyo Ki Jarurat Padti Hai.
Kaise.
Simple Ek Ladki Bulb Chang Karegi.
Or Baki Ki 4.
Hey Bhagwan Aaram Se Chad.
Switch To ON Nahi He Na.
Dhyaan Se Kahi Gir Na Jayiyo.
Kisi Or Ko Hi Bula Lete.

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
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Ek Light Bulb Ko Badalne Ke Liye,
5 Ladkiyo Ki Jarurat Padti Hai.
Kaise.
Simple Ek Ladki Bulb Chang Karegi.
Or Baki Ki 4.
Hey Bhagwan Aaram Se Chad.
Switch To ON Nahi He Na.
Dhyaan Se Kahi Gir Na Jayiyo.
Kisi Or Ko Hi Bula Lete.

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

Girls Express Their Feelings With
Lot Of Tears;
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
And Boys Express Their Feelings
With Bottles Of Beers.

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

Shrabi Road Pe Pada Tha
.
.
Police: Itni Q Pi Rakhi Hai,
Shrabi: Majburi Thi Sahab
Police: Kya
Mazburi Thi Saale
.
.
.
Shrabi: Bottle Ka
Dhakkan Gum Ho Gya Tha,
Isliye Puri Bottle Pini Padi.

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

Me- So Dad, How does it feel to have a great son??

Dad- i dont know…ask Your Grandparents!

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
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Father to son: why don’t u just go and study?

Son: what for?

Father: U’ll get good marks…

Son: then?

Father: U’ll get good job.

Son: then?

Father: U’ll have big house, nice car.

Son: so what after that?

Father: after that U’ll relax.

Son: so what do u think I m doing right now??

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

Commerce ki ladki kaise galiyan degi?

here it is…

saale…

bounced cheque..

dharti pe liabillity..

Paidaishi bad-debt..

insolvent admi..!

itna marungi ki balance sheet tally nahin hogi.. :X

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

Student’s Life is Like English Movies

School = Jurassic Park..
Principal = King Kong..
Vice Principle = Hulk..
Teachers = Aliens..
Class Guys = Planet of Apes..
Class Gals = Charlies Angels..
Syllubus = Deep Blue Sea
Exam = Mission Impossible
Invigilator = Terminator..
Result = 2014 ..(end of the world)

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

Girl: Bhaiya yeh apple kaise diye?

Apple wala: 100 Rs ke 10

Girl: kuchh kam karo na plz..

.

.

Apple wala: Achcha aap 80 ke 8 lelo!

.

Girl: Thanku, dedo… ye huyi na Baat..

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
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Santa: Dr. Sahab Main bahut khush rehta hoon
Neend sukoon se aati hai
Zindagi main Aman hi Aman hai
Har kaam main Dil b Lagta hai
Koi pareshani hi nahi.
Aisa kiyon hai..?

Doctor: Main aap ki Bimari samajh gaya hoon..
Aap ki zindagi mein “Vitamin She” ki kami hai!

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

Teacher: Agar Tum tumari GF Ko 500 Do, aur Usko sirf 200 Ki Zarurat Ho To, Wo Kitne Wapas Degi ??..

Student: Kuchh Bhi Nahi…

Teacher: Kya Tum Itni si bhi Maths Nahi Jante ??

Student: Sir, Aap meri gf Ko Nai Jante!!

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

Life without u is impossible,
u r in my breath and blood.
i cant stay for a second without u,
if u r not there i am dead
oye hello i am talking about OXYGEN

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

1 larka Charas pi k aya,
Dad se bachne k liye bari si book lekr padhne laga!
Dad:Charas Pi k aya hai?
Son:Nhi To?
Dad:Kamine, Phir suitcase khol k kya bak-bak kr raha hai..

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
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Pandit:-Tumhare jeevan me 6 larkian ayengi.
Boy:Wow, kia bat hai.
Pandit:Ziada khush hone ki baat nahin hai.
1 ghar wali or 5 betiyan hain.

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

When WORDS fail, eyes speak.
When eyes fail,”HEART” speaks.
When HEART fails, nothing speaks they put cotton in the nose…

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

Chhote: yaar yeh keri (kachcha aam) dekh, kaisa hai.. mujhe job pe lekar jana hai

Bade: keri to achhci hai but iss keri ka karega kya job par

Chhote: yaar achaar banana hai…

Bade:kya :O

Chhote: haan achar banana hai

Bade:abe kaunse department me hai tu? :S

Chhote: HR (ach aar) department me.. hahaha :D

Bade:bakwas band kar!

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

'lovers went 2 film, a mosquito enters in girl's skirt..Guess where it bites?Naughty mind always thinking bad It bites on BOY'S HAND.

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
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A pregnant lady went to an astrologer.
Astrologer: When u deliver a baby, baby's father will die.
Lady: Thank god! My husband is safe!

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

Exam Question: How to Kill an Ant..? (10marks)

Student’s Answer:

Mix Chili Powder with Sugar & Keep it outside the Ant’s Home..
After eating Ant will search for Water..
Somewhere near Water Tank., Push Ant into it!
Now Ant will go to dry herself near fire,
When It reaches near Fire, Put a Bomb into Fire..
Then U Admit wounded Ant in ICU..
Remove Oxygen mask from Its Mouth & kill the Bloody Ant.

Humse panga!
10 marks k liye hum teacher ko maar de, cheenti kya hai.

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

Q. Vampires ko kiski movies dekhna pasand hai?

Socho…

Hint: Apna Bollywood ka hero hai..

ab bhi nahin pata?

simple hai yaar…

Dharmendra ki. (Kutte kamine mein tera khoon pee jaunga)

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

Ant: What do you call a 100 year old ant ?

Elephant: An ANTique !

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
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Girl: Today i was cooking chicken, when i added HARA DHANIYA, guess what happened?

Boy: Pata nahi, Tum batao

Girl: Chicken start dancing and singing…

HUM PE YE KISNE HARA RANG DAALA… MAAR DAALA – ALLAAHH…!!

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

Girls aur pepsi mai kya similarity hai…..?

.

let me tell u….

.

both are sweet and cool,
sabhi pasand bhi karte hain aur
sabse badi similarity ki dono mein dimag ki jagah dhakkan hai……

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

Woh choom le ek baar to Udd jaati hai neend,
Unki awaz sunte sunte raat jati hai beet,

Isiliye kehte hain yeh risk na uthao,
“MORTEIN JALAO”, “MACHChAR BHAGAO”

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

Q: What is the difference between a mosquito and a fly?

A: A fly can fly but a mosquito can’t mosquito.

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
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Jab lion 3 bar dahadta hai to kya hota hai?

Batao kya hota hai?

Nahin malum?

Abey nalayak Tom & Jerry Shuru hota hai..

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

Question: What do you call a cow during an earthquake?

think…

.

think harder…

.

Answer: A milk shake!

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

This is Amazing PJ you gonna love…

Q: What do you call your sister who has every information about almost everything?

Think…

.

Think harder….

Think IT, think software…

Ans: Infosys..!

Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

Aapko pataa hai ki Popcorn ko garm tave par rakhne par wo uchhalte kyun hai?

.

.

.

Nahi pata ..?

.

.

.

Kabhi khud baith kar dekhna ..

Pata chal jayega …

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