संता : बंता, मैं जो कविता अब सुनाने जा रहा हूं , उसका शीर्षक है आग, पानी और धुआं। बंता: तो एक शब्द में क्यों नहीं बोलता कि हुक्का है।
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टीचर : एक ऐसा वाक्य बनाओ जिसमें उर्दू, हिंदी, पंजाबी और अंग्रेजी के शब्दों का सही-सही इस्तेमाल हुआ हो। संता : एक झटके में खड़े होकर - इश्क दी गली विच नो एंट्री।
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टीचर: संता, बताओ जवानी और बुढ़़ापे में क्या फर्क है? संता: टीचर जी, सीधी सी बात है जवानी में मोबाइल में हसीनों के नंबर होते हैं और बुढ़ापे में हकीमों के।
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Ladkiyon se hamesha Romantic mood me hi baat kare, aise baat kare jisse unhe lage ki aap ko unse baat karke bahut hi maza aa raha hai.
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अपने मोबाईल फ़ोन में कोई रोमांटिक रिंग टोन ही रखे, रोमांटिक रिंग टोन सुनकर लड़कियां जरुर इम्प्रेस होती हैं. लड़कियों को पटाने के लिए उन्हें इम्प्रेस करना बहुत ही जरुरी है.
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Dava & daru me kya diffrance hai?
Dava girl friend hai..
"jisme expiry date hoti hai"
aur
daru wife hai...
"jitni purani hogi utna sir chadke bolegi...
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Kapil ne
JOB k 1st din Computer pe 11 ghante guzare
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Boss khusi se: Good..
Aaj kya kiya
.??
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Kapil: Keyboard ki ABCD aage piche lagi thi
Wo sahi kar di..
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Do You Know Who Is Replacing Gutthi ?
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After Gutthi, its 'Dulari' on 'Comedy Nights with Kapil'
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when i was BORN i was so surprised, I didn't talk for a year & a half.
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Master Ji Bacche ka lunch kha ke
bole:
Beta, ghar jakemera naam to
nahi bataoge?
Baccha (Masumiyat se):
Sir, main Mummy se bol dunga,
Ki Roti Kutta kha gaya.
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Aap se milne ka maan kar raha hai,
Maan ko samjaya to dil keh raha hai,
Dil ko bataya to ankhe ro padi,
Unhe chup kar diya to saanse bol padi.
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बीवियां माफिया से भी ज्यादा
खतरनाक होती हैं …
क्योंकि …
माफिया को आपके पैसे या जिंदगी
में से कोई एक चीज़ चाहिए रहती है…
…
…
जबकि बीवी को दोनों ….
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Girl: Kon ho tum?
Boy: hasrat tumhari
Girl: chahtey kya ho
Boy: mohhabat tumhari
Girl: pachtaoge tum
Boy: kismat humari
Girl: married hu main
Boy: to pahle hi bhonk deti
MANHOOS NAARI
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Santa: Yaar ye bata is duniya me kitne desh hai
Banta: Are pagal is duniya me ek hi to desh hai
Jiska naam india hai
baki to sab videsh hai.
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It's time to Celebrate the different colors of our beautiful relationship. I wish you and your family all the bright hues of life on this Holi!
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I may not put colors on your face on this colorful festival but I am praying to God to add more colors to your beautiful life.
Happy Holi!
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Auspicious Red
Sunkissed Gold
Soothing Silver
Pretty Purple
Blissful Blue
Forever Green
I wish you and your family is blessed with the most colourful Holi!
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Khana Pina Rang Udana
Is Rang Ki Dhundh me hame na bhulana.
Geet Gao Khoshiya manao
Bolo mithi boli
hamari tarafse Aapako
HAPPY HOLI..
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Chadenge jab pyare rang, ek meri dosti ka rang bhi chadhana.
Lagne lagenge tumhe suhane sare rang,
Aur meri dosti ka rang chamkega hurdum tumhare sang.
Bolo sarararara....
Wish you a very mastiful and colourful Happy Holi!
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Aapne dil ka haal batana chod diya,
humne bhi gehrai mein jaana chod diya.
Areyy yeh kia ?
Holi se pehle hi aapne nahana chod diya!!
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Dunia mein reh kar sapnon mein kho jaao,
Kisi ko apna bana lo ya kisi ke ho jaao,
Agar kuchh bhi nahi hota hai to,
Chadar-takiya lo aur so jaao.
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Teri dosti nai mujhe aisa PYASA banaya
..
teri dosti nai mujhe aisa PYASA banaya..
..
tu do min. rukh mai pani pikar aaya..
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Ladke pagal ho jate h pyar
me
Baki ksar puri ho jati h
intzar me
Mgr ye drd ladkiya nhi smjti
Wo to panipuri khati firti h bzar me.
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Hoon To Khafa Usse, Par Jane Phir Bhi kyu..?
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Na Chah Kar Bhi Us Ko Chahna Acha Lagta Hai...
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When things go wrong;
When sadness fills your heart;
When tears flow in your eyes;
Always remember 3 things:
1. I am with you
2. Still with you
3. Will always be
Happy Valentines Day, my Love!
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Ap He Apni Adayon Pe Zara Ghor Karen
Hum Agar Araz Karen Gay To Shekayat Ho Gi..
Happy Valentine Day.
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Teri raho me humne chalna sikha,
teri yaado me humne jagna seekha,
par na mili wo yaaden aur na mili wo raahe,
jise humne kabhi apna samjha…
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Why do girls prefer love marriage than an arrange one?
Coz a known kamine is better than an unknown namune..!
Rishta wahi soch nayi...!
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Sabdhan .....????
Jo apne Girl friend ko CHAND samajhte hai wo dhayan rakhe ki...
chand par abse pahale 17 log chad chuke hai aur usme ek kutta bhi tha Ab age apki marji ..!
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Inspector: Jail Me Kaise Aye?
Santa: Media Ki Ladki Khadi Thi, Uske Tshirt Pe Press Likha Tha,
Inspector: Phir?
Santa: Maine Press Kar Diya.
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Guru-Kamine Dost Se Bach K Raho
Boy-Par Kamine Dost Ka Pata Kaise Chalega
Guru-Sare Dosto Ko Msg Karo, Jo Reply Na De Samajh Lo Wahi Kamina Hai.
Sory fr aap mat samjhna kyunki aap to karte ho
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Santa– Yaar Banta Tune Pure
Toilet Me Potty Kyu Kr Di?
Banta– Yaar Ye Mobile Bhi Na!!!!
Santa– Kya Hua??
Banta– Tune Idea Ka Ad Nhi Dekha,
Walk When U Talk
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Ek Baat Hamesha Yaad Rakhna.
Duniya Mein Kuch Mile Na Mile.
Do Cheezein Haq Se Leni Chahiye.
Ek Samose Ke Sath Extra Chatni
Aur
Dusra Gol-Gappe Khane Ke Baad
Uska Pani .
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Agar main hd se guzar jau toh muje maaf karna,
Tere dil me utar jau toh mujhe maaf karna,
Raat me tujhe dekh ke tere deedar ki khatir,
Pal bhar jo theher jaun toh mujhe maaf karna…!!
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10 doctorz aur 1 engineer
Helicopter Ki Rassi Se Latke Hue
The.....
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Pilot Ne Kaha Load Zyada Hai 1
Aadmi Ko Chorna Hoga....!!....
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engineer Ne Kaha Apni jaan Ki
Qurbani Mai
Deta Hoon......
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Taaliyan....
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Ye Sun Kar Sab doctorz Taaliyan
BajaneLage,
Aur sabke sab Neechey Gir Gaye...
Ustad to akhirr Ustad hota hai
na....!!
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BoyFrnd on msg: Sweet heart Kya kr Rai
ho.......??
GirlFrnd: meri Tabiyat Kharab hai Jaanu
Sone Ja Rai Hu & U......??
Boyfrnd: Mai Cinema Hall me Tere Piche
baitha popcorn kha rha hu KAMINI..
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Unke Gum Me Jo Pee Li Sharaab;
Unke Gum Me Jo Pee Li Sharaab;
Fir Jo Hui Tabiyat Kharab;
De Tatti, De Peshaab - De Tatti, De Peshaab!
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Santa ki tapsya se khush ho kar bhagwan bole:
‘VAR MANGO VATS’
Santa: Prabhu!! jaisa aap soch rahe hai mein vaisa nahi hu..
‘MUJHE VADHU CHAHIYE’
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A beautiful,bright and delighted day,
Sun entered makar to intense the ray.
Crop harvested to cheer the smiles,
Come together and enjoy the life.
Kites flying high to touch the happiness,
Til mangled with sweet to spread sweetness.
Time to enjoy the moment with full intensity
Very Happy Prosperous Makar Sankranti.
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Wishing You A Very Happy Lohri
And Makar Sakranti As Well.
May This Harvest Season Bring
You Prosperity And Help You
To Fly High Like A Kite
Let Us Celebrate Together.
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All the teachers used to come to college wearing sun glasses, why? .
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Because Rajinikanth was a very bright student!
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एक लड़की थी, दीवानी सी
Dhawan पे वो मरती थी
चोरी-चोरी चुपके-चुपके
Rohit को चिठ्ठिया लिखा करती थी
नज़रें झुका के, शर्मा के
Rahane से बातें करती थी
कभी-कभी जुल्फे बिखरके
Kohli की गलियों से गुजरती थी
कुछ कहना था शायद उसको Raina से
पर DHONI से वो डरती थी
जब भी मिलती थी वो Jadeja से
बस यही पूछा करती थी
हराम खोरों तुम लोग sehwag sab k baap k Bina वर्ल्ड कप Kaise जीतोगे?
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Being in a Relationship and being in a Hospital is the same in India.Everyone asks...
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"Serious hai kya"
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Teacher - Agar Raat Me Machhar Kate,
To Kya Krna Chahie.
Pappu - Chupchap Khuja Kar Sojana Chahie
Qki Ap Rajnikant To Ho
Nhi Jo Machhar Se Sorry Bulwa Loge.
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Agar Wo Age Me Aapse Chhoti Ho Phir Bhi Aap Unse “AAP” Kahkar Hi Baat Kare. Unhe Lagna Chahiye Ki Aap Unki Bahut Respect Karte Hai.
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Aap jise like krte hai jb woh School/College jane ke liye nikal rahi ho to aap uske sath sath chale aur unse baat karte hue bhi jaye. Aisa Continue 7 Dino tak karo aur 8th Day ignore krna, wo 9th Day aapse jarur puchegi ki kal aap sath kuo nahi aaye. aur iss tarah baat start ho jaege.
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Wife: Aap bahut mote ho gae ho
Husband: Tum bhi to kitni moti ho gai ho
Wife: Mai to maa banne wali hoon
Husband: Mai bhi to baap banne wala hoon
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All Girls Are Beautiful After The Lights Are Switched
Off (Shakespeare)
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.All Boys Are Innocent Before The Lights Are
Switched Off (Shakespeare'S Wife)
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HAr KhuShi sE KhobSurAt TEri ShAM kAr doon,
ApNa BALAnCE or SiM TErE nAm kr don,
Mil jAyE AgAr 1bAr Tu MujhE,
ChuMiyAN Le Le k tera mou laal kerdun..
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