Teacher-
Agar raat me machhar kaate to kya karna chahie?.
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Santa- Chup chaap khujaakar so jana
Chahie qki aap RAJNIKANT to ho nahi
Jo machhar se sorry bulwa
loge..=)) =D
Ek Bar Rajnikant Ne Ek Cooking
Champion Me Hisa Liya
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Unhe To Jitna Hi Tha
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Sochye Rajnikant Ne Finale Me,
Kon Si Diss Banai Hogi :-
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Sochie
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Lal Mirchi Ki Mithi Khir....!
In Childhood Rajnikanth Lost His Rough Copy
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People Now Call It
'Oxford Dictionary'
Amrikaa Se Msg Aaya India Ko Dear,
Rajnikant Please Close Your Fridge Properly
Yours Faithfully
Mr. Obama. Usa
Teacher - Agar Raat Me Machhar Kate,
To Kya Krna Chahie.
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Pappu - Chupchap Khuja Kar Sojana Chahie
Qki Ap Rajnikant To Ho
Nhi Jo Machhar Se Sorry Bulwa Loge.
Larka: Aik Larki Ko Cherte Huwe Kahta
Hai K Jan-E-Man Is Dil Mai A Jao.
Larki: Sandil Utaroo Kia?????
Larka:Jan-E-Man Ye Dil Hai Koi Masjid Nahi
Sandil Pahan Kar Hi Ajao.
Pather Ki Deewaar Na Tori Pyar Bhara
Dil Tor Dia Ek Rupee Ki Khatir Tumne
SMS Karna Chor Dia.
Teray Liye Chand Taray Tor Doon,
In Hawaon Ka Rukh Mor Doon,
Itna Kafi Hai Ya Do Char Jhoot Aur Bol Doon.
My heart problem has
reached a critical stage.
That doctor says:
There r only 2 options left…
ICU
Or
U C Me.
Meeting U was fate,
becoming Ur friend was choice,
but falling in love with U
was completely out of my control.
whenever u feel sadness in your HEART,
blackness in your EYES,
paleness on your FACE,
fragrance in your body, it shows u are
suffering lack of vitamin "ME".
Good days come often,
Bad days do too,
But d best days only come when I'm with you.
Tum Door Sahi Majboor Sahi Per Yaad Tumhari Ati Hai
Tum Saans Wahaan Per Letey Hoo Badboo Yahaan TukAti Hai.
Ab Chota Closeup Sirf Paanch Rupey main.
Last night I sent an angel 2 watch over u
while u were sleeping but it came back early!
So I asked it why? It said that angels don't watch over other angels!
to see light look at the sun,
to see love look at the moon,
to see hope look at the future,
to see beauty look at the nature,but
to see all of this look at the mirror!!
Love is an illusion!
It's a highly dependency disorder
of weak hearted people..
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People with strong hearts
believe in FLIRTING.
Some One
Is Loving you
Caring for you
Watching over you
Protecting you
Guess Who?
Neighbour's Dog!
Every girls is Smart,
intelligent,
Sweet
Talented
Excellent
Romantic
S**y.
in short form they all are your S.I.S.T.E.R.S.
Can't wait until tomorrow, because
I bet that you get more and more beautiful everyday.
Do you know your 1 smile can make 100 peoples die,
so u can decrease this over population, so baby,
Please keep on smiling.
Rule of BOYS
"PHulo ki mAhak ko ChurayA nahi jata,
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suraj ki kirNo ko chupaya nahi jata,
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kitni Bhi soHni Ho Girlfrnd Apni,
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Dusro ki Girlfrnd ko Bhulaya Nahi jata..
Be Careful!
aap ko kissi unknown number se aik sms aa sakta hai jis se aapki
mobile screen pe meri photo aa jaye gi.
please dekhay bina delete kar dain kyon kay pehlay he bahut se
log deewanay ho chukay hain.
Heart beat are countless,
spirits are ageless,dreams r endless,
memories are timeless and a friend like u is Useless.
Oops! Sorry Yaar, Priceless.
Girl:who do you like?
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Boy:it is a secret
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Girl:you can tell me
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Boy:ok it starts with a Why and ends with You...!
Cheap attitude of girls.
When a boy sends dirty sms.
She laughs for 10 minutes.
Forward that sms to her friends.
Then replies the boy
"I don't like these kind of sms ok"
GD MORNING,
ABHI TUM SOCH RAHI HO Q MAIN GD MORNING BOLA?
ARE MERA PHONE MERA PAISA
MUJHE JO CHAYE LIKHU TUMHARA KyA.
Ek bund se samundar nhi banta,
rone se mukaddar nahi banta,
patana hai to pure girls hostel kn patao
1 - 2 ladki patane se koi sikandar nahi banta.
Ghar Me Diya Jaleto
Diwali Mat Samjo
Ghar Me Diya Jale To
Diwali Mat Samjo
Me Tere Piche Pada To
Muje Mawali Mat Samjo..
Bestest Flirt Ever...
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Guy: Hey...Is Ur Name Google..??
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Girl:no..
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Guy: But U Have All The Things
I'm Searching For...!;)
An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along.
When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, "I need a
urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample."
The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells: "WHAT?"
"What did he say? What's he want?"
His wife yells back, "He needs your underwear."
A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the
doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that his poor patient has
had practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no
improvement.
"Listen," says the Doc, "I have migraines too, and the advice I'm going to
give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school, but it's advice
that I've gotten from my own experience. When I have a migraine, I go home,
get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while. Then I have my wife sponge me
off with the hottest water I can stand, especially around the forehead. This
helps a little. Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even
if my head is killing me, I force myself to have sex with her. Almost always,
the headache is immediately gone. Now, give it a try, and come back and see me
in six weeks."
Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin.
"Doc! I took your advice and it works! It REALLY WORKS! I've had migraines for
17 years and this is the FIRST time anyone has ever helped me!"
"Well," says the physician, "I'm glad I could help."
"By the way, Doc," the patient adds, "you have a REALLY nice house."
Then there's the woman who goes to the dentist. As he leans over to begin
working on her, she grabs his balls.
The dentist says, "Madam, I believe you've got a hold of my privates."
The woman replies, "Yes. We're going to be careful not to hurt each other,
aren't we."
A man who had been in a mental home for some years finally seemed to have
improved to the point where it was thought he might be released.
The head of the institution, in a fit of commendable caution, decided,
however, to interview him first.
"Tell me," said he, "if we release you, as we are considering doing, what do
you intend to do with your life?'
The inmate said, "It would be wonderful to get back to real life and if I do,
I will certainly refrain from making my former mistake. I was a nuclear
physicist, you know, and it was the stress of my work in weapons research that
helped put me here. If I am released, I shall confine myself to work in pure
theory, where I trust the situation will be less difficult and stressful."
"Marvelous," said the head of the institution.
"Or else," ruminated the inmate. "I might teach. There is something to be said
for spending one's life in bringing up a new generation of scientists."
"Absolutely," said the head.
"Then again, I might write. There is considerable need for books on science
for the general public. Or I might even write a novel based on my experiences
in this fine institution."
"An interesting possibility," said the head.
"And finally, if none of these things appeals to me, I can always continue to
be a teakettle."
Recording - "Hello, Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline."
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just
stay on the line until we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you
which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one
will answer.
In the maternity ward of a hospital, new-born girl baby looks over at new-born
boy baby and asks, "Are you a girl baby or a boy baby?"
The boy baby quickly chirps up, "I'm a boy baby!"
"How can you tell?" asks girl baby.
"Easy," says boy baby. And, with that, he threw off the blankets, hoisted up
his itty-bitty night-shirt and proudly pointed downward. "See.....blue
booties"
ek docter apni kismat per rote hue kahta hai.
ki mujhe apni patni ko bhi sister kah kar bulana padta hai.
A cow was kept for viva :
Answers
Pre MBBS - it's a cow!!
Final MBBS - perhaps this is a cow!!!
MD - Four legged animal with horn & tail, may be cow or hypopigmented buffalo!
DM . Dnb - this may be a hypertrophied goat or an atrophied elephant with congenital anomalies. Suggested DNA studies for further evaluation.
E-MAIL COMMANDMENTS
Thou shalt include a clear and specific subject line.
Thou shalt edit any quoted text down to the minimum thou needest.
Thou shalt read thine own message thrice before sendest it.
Thou shalt ponder how thy recipient might react to thy message.
Thou shalt check thy spelling and thy grammar.
Thou shalt not curse, flame, spam or USE all CAPS.
Thou shalt not forward any chain letter.
Thou shalt not rely on the privacy of email, especially from work.
Thou shalt not use email for any illegal or unethical purpose.
When in doubt, save thy message overnight and reread it in the light of the
dawn.
And, the Golden Rule of email:
That which thou findest hateful to receive, sendest thou not unto others.
P.J :
Aurangazeb:
Senapati batao ki hum Shivaji ko kyu Nahi dhund pa rahe hain??
Senapati:
kyoki Maharaj ham Mughal Hain Google Nahi
WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.
USER: cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER: boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
USER: 1 boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
USER: 50bloodyboiled cabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.
USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow!
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
USER: ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow
WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.
WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.
USER: cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER: boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
USER: 1 boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
USER: 50bloodyboiled cabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.
USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow!
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
USER: ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow
WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.
Phone ki ganti baji.
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Pappu : Phone mere liye ho toh
kehna mein ghar
pe nahi hoon.
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Biwi : Wo ghar pe hain.
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Pappu : Maine mana kiya tha
kamini?
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Biwi : Ji phone mere liye tha.. :P
Thoda Hard but Syllabus me hai :D
A Newly Born Baby ask to Nurse: Can I use Your Mobile Phone
Nurse: Why?
Baby: Actually I Want to tell the God I Am Land Safely To The Earth.
Now Arrange A Girl Girlfriend For Me And Don't Forget To Tell Me Her Address.
I asked a Chinese girl if she would come out with me for a date and I asked her number so I could call her.
She got excited and said: sex sex sex free sex tonight... wow such an open girl...
Later, my friend told me that she really meant to say 6663629!
Daya: Report says dead body ka khoon bilkul thanda tha..
ACP: Iska matlab samjhe Daya?
Daya: Kya sir?
ACP: It was a cold blooded murder
Pappu juice wale se:-
Jaldi se juice de ladai hone wali hai..
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ek glass pine ke baad..
ek glass aur de ladai hone wali hai..
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Woh bhi pene ke baad...
ek glass aur de jaldi ladai hone wali hai..
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Juice wala:- kab hogi ladai???
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Pappu:- Jab tu paise mangegaa!..;):D:D
Sheikh to friend: today I saved a life.
Friend: how?
Sheikh: I asked a beggar what if I gave you 1000 rupees he said I will die of happiness.
I didn?t gave him any thing'
physics student proposing a
chemistry Girl: I love u more than an electron
wants to attract proton....
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Girl: Oye carbon monoxide, apna
conical flask jesa face lay k foran yahan sy reduce ho ja,
is sey pehley k tujhey oxidise kar
dun or tu reaction k qabil bhi na rahey,
Kambakht,
Graphite ki aulad:-P =D;)
SHADI par WO boli: AAP ho MERE "PRANNATH" AUR mein APPKE "CHARNO KI DASI".
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SHADI ke BAAD wo HO gaya "CHARANDAS" aur WO hogayi "PRANO KI PYASSI" :P :D
na jany q magar dykho, mera dil ye chahta he,
wafa ko aag lag jaye, muhabbat bhaad me jaye...
bus
"MATH'S IZZAT SE PAAS HO JAYE"