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NON VEG
Zindagi Rahe Na Rahe Dosti Rahegi, Paas Rahe Na Rahe Yaadein Rahegi, Apni Zindagi Mein Hamesha Haste Rehna, Kyunki Aapki Haasi Me Ek Muskaan Meri Rahegi..
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Kab Dil Uski Yaad Me Chur Nahi Hota, Kab Use Milne Ko Dil Majbur Nahi Hota, Ye Saach Hai Zindagi Me Dil Uska Tutata Hai, Jiska Koi KASOOR Nahi Hota..
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Aaj Mene Khud Se Ek Wada Kiya Hai, Maafi Manguga Usse Jisko Rusva Kiya Hai, Har Mod Par Rahunga Mein Uske Sath Sath, Malum Hai Ki Mene Usko Kitna Juda Kiya Hai..
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Chahte Hai Jo Hadd Se Jyada Kisiko, Wohi Sabse Jyada Takrar Karte Hai, Karo Na Fikar Agar Wo Naraz Ho Jaye, Qki Naraz Hote He Wohi Jo Sachcha Pyar Karte Hai..
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Dhadkan Banke Jo Dil me samaa Jate hai, Har Ek Pal Jinki Yaad me Bitate hai, Aansu Tak Nikalte Hai Jab Wo Yaad Aate hai, Jaan Chaali Jati Hai Jab Wo Humse Ruth Jate hai..
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Golu: Yaar jab tujhe garmi lagti hai toh tu kya karta hai.
Molu: Tab mai AC ke samne baith jata hu.
Golu: Aur jab bhut jayda garmi lagti hai toh?
Molu: Toh phir mai AC ko ON kar deta hu..!
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Aansu Aa Jate He Aankho Me,
Par Hotho Pe Hasi Laani Padti Hai,
Ye Mohabbat Bhi Kya Chiz He Yaaro,
Ek Se Karte He Or Hazaro Se Chhupani Padti Hai..
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Bhikhari - Babu Ji Roti Milegi?
Ander Se Awaj Aai Biwi Ghar Pe Nahi Hai..
Bhikhari - CHUMMA Nahi Manga, Roti Mangi Hai..
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Apna Bachcha Roye To Dil Me Dard Hota He,
Aur Dusre Ka Roye To Sar Me.
Apni Biwi Roye To Sar Me Dard Hota He,
Aur Dusre Ki Roye To Dil Me..!
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Teacher- Boys aapko Amir Khan aur Kajol Ki film FANNA se kya lesson mila ?
Boys- Andhi, Langri, Behri, Goongi, ………job hi mile phansa lo.
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The Blessings of Peace
The Beauty of Hope
The Spirit of Love
The Comfort of Faith
May these be your gifts this Christmas Season.
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Vo dil hi kya jo vaffa na kare, Tujhe bhul kar jiyen khuda na kare, Rahegi teri dosti meri jindgi ban kar, Vo baat aur hai agar jindgi vaffa na kare.
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Top ten reasons why men prefer guns over women:
#10 - You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
#9 - You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.
#8 - If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out.
#7 - Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.
#6 - Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.
#5 - A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
#4 - Guns function normally every day of the month.
#3 - A gun doesn't ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?" #2 - A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.
........ And the Number One reason Why Men Prefer Guns over women....
#1 - You can buy a silencer for a gun!
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Sardiyo Mein Skin Khushk Ho Jaye To Pani Mein Haldi Aur Zara Sa Milk Powder Daal Kar Ubal Lein.
Thanda Ho Jaye To 1/2 Cup Dahi Daal Ke Mixture Ko Dhoop Mein 4 Ghante Rakhen.
Baad Mein 1 Chammach Zzaitoon Ka Tail, 1 Desi Anda Aur 1 Chutki Zaafran Daal Kar Phaint Lein.
Zaroorat Ho To Garam Pani Daalein.
Jab Wo Sahi Se Paste Ban Jaye To Use Dustbin Mein Phenk Dein.
Aur Munh Pe Cold Cream Laga Lein.
Jab Badiya Se Badiya Cold Cream Market Mein Maujud Hai To Bina Wajah Time Waste Karne Kee Kya Zaroorat Hai.
Gaur Se Padhne Ka Shukriya.
Aur Galiyan Na Dein Mujhe.
Aage Forward Kar Dein.
Dil Ko Sukoon Milega!
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A real woman is a man's best friend.
She will never stand him up and never let him down.She will reassure him when he feels insecure And comfort him after a bad day.She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do;to live without fear and forget regret.She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires.She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible...
No wait... SORRY.I'm thinking of whiskey. It's whiskey that does all that shit. Never mind.
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Santa and Banta were always boasting of their parents achievements to each other.
Santa: Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?
Banta: Yes, I have Santa: Well, my father dug it.
Banta: That is nothing, have you ever heard of Dead sea?
Santa: Yes, I have.
Banta: Well, my father killed it.
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Cooja mooja ooja pooja kani mani pani wani mao bao lao kao zoo loo noo Shoo .
Uff pad to nhi liya.. Ye to nunu gayb krne ka mantar tha:- beta tu to gaya.
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MOM- Tujhko ladka pasand aaya..
BETI- Ladka to thik hai,par mota bahut hai.
MOM- Dekho beti,TV chaahe 14 inch ka ho ya 29 ka,remote toh 6 inch hi hota hai na.
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Tech:ladkei badi kab hote he..
Stu:jab wo bodish paherati he
Tech:or ladke bade kab hote he..
Stu:jab wo bodish utarta he
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Nani (wid a kid in her lap): Soja DIPLOMA soja!Padosan: Y u cal him diploma..Nani: Meri kudi College se DIPLOMA lene gyi thi,ye leke ayi he
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Sorry 4 Disturbing
Lekin Mamla Urgent Hai
Sita Ko Rawan Fir Utha Kar Le Gaya Hai
Hanuman Ko 1000 Bandro Ki Zarurat Hai
SMS Padte hi Niklo...Plzzz.
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A kid was crying standing outside his house.
A passer by asked: Why are you crying?
Kid: My parents are fighting inside the house.
Passer By: Who is your father?
Kid: That is what the fight is about.
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A Rabbit Runs,Jumps & Lives Only For 15 yrs. While a Turtle Doesn't Run Does Nothing. Yet lives for 300 yrs.
Moral: Exercise Is Hell, Just Sleep Well.. Baba Aaramdev ..
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A man brings his best buddy home for dinner ... unannounced at 7:30 pm after work.
His wife begins screaming at him & his friend just sits & listens in.
Wife: My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pajamas & I can't be bothered with cooking tonight ! Why the hell did you bring him home for ?
Husband: Because he's thinking of getting married & I promised him a demo !
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The Blessings of Peace
The Beauty of Hope
The Spirit of Love
The Comfort of Faith
May these be your gifts this Christmas Season.
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Man with Gun goes to bank & demands money ..
Once he is given money, he turns to a customer & asks, ‘Did you see me rob bank?
Man : ‘Yes, I did’.
Robber shoots him in the head.
He turns to a couple & asks d man ‘Did you see me rob d bank?’
man said ‘No sir, but my wife did…
When Opportunity knocks, USE IT!
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Ek Sali apne Jija k sath train me ja rahi thi.
Raat ko wo kafi der tak Jija ko apne Qisse sunati rahi,
K,
Achanak Jija ne puchha:
"Kya Khayal Hai Aaj Raat Hum Dono "Miyan Biwi"
Ki Tarah Guzaaren"
Sali sharmate hue boli:
"Ji..., jaise aap ki marzi"
Jija:
"To chalo phir apni
bak bak band karo aur mujhe sone do" :
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Saand - "kya bolti tu?"
Gai - "kya main bolu?"Saand "sun''
Gai - "suna"
Saand - "aati kya goshala?"
Gai - "kya karu aake main goshala?"
Saand - "mundi hilayenge,ghas chabayenge,gobar felayenge aur kya".
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apko 1 word bhejta hu
jise ap aage se padhoya pichhe se
aapko apna hi naam dikhai dega
ULLU.
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3 monkeys escaped from the zoo...
One was caught watching TV...
Another playing football...
And the third one...
(scroll down for answer)
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No its not you...
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Why do u always think u r a monkey?
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I wish this year has lesser disasters, lesser hate, lesser accidents and loads of love. Happy New Year.
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On This New Year My Wishes And Prayers Only For You
God Bless U & May Year To Follow Be Amid
The Best U Has Ever Spent.
Wish U A Happy New Year 2014.
I Love U.
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Like Chocolate Cake Goes Perfect With Wine
My New Year Will Be Imperfect Without you.
Please Be With Me On this New Year forever.
With Love,
Happy New Year My Dear!
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New Year begins, let us pray,
that it will be a year with new Peace,
New Happiness, and abundance of new friends,
God bless you through out the new Year.
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I wish U to have a
Sweetest Sunday,
Marvelous Monday,
Tasty Tuesday,
Wonderful Wednesday,
Thankful Thursday,
Friendly Friday,
Successful Saturday.
Have a great Year.
HAPPY NEW YEAR
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Jo mile use pyar karo its a compromise
jise pyar karo vo mil jaye its a success
Or jo n milne wala ye jante hue b sirf use hi pyar kRo
true LOVE.
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Jo nahi ata uska intezar kyo hotahai
Kisi ke liye apna ye hal kyu hota hai
Yu to duniya me kafi log pyare hai
Par jo nahi milta usi se pyar kyu hota hai.
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U knw what is d full form of college..
C- Come
o- on
l -let-s
l -love
e-each
g-girl
e-equally
so attend college everyday.
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HW DO COLLEGE TEACHRS COMPLETE SYLLABUS:
UNIT1:dis s jz intrdction no need2teach
UNIT2:Vry easy topic u cn study on ur own
UNIT3is hs already been discssd in last unit
UNIT4is topic is directly given in text book study as it is i dont need to teach it.
UNIT 5:Who is ready to take seminar..
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Teacher: Batao Sabse Zyada Nasha kis Chiz me Hota he?
Student: Books me.!
Teacher: Vo Kaise.?
Studnt: Kholte hi Neend aa Jati he..
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Sirf Muhabbat he nahi hai duniya me jo dard ke liya zimmedaar hai...
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kambhukt
"Final Exam" bhi bahut takleef deta hai.....!!
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Bacha: Miss Main Apko kaisa lagta hoon?
Miss: soooo sweet
Bacha: To phir Main Apne parents ko Aap ke Gharkab Bhejun?
Miss: wo kyun?
Bacha: Ta k wo Humari Baat Karain
... Miss: kya Bakwas hai?
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Bacha: Tution parhney ke liye…
Miss Aap bhi na T.V dekh dekh ke kharaab ho gai hain.:
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Studnt ke dilo ki awaz: Zindgi ka rukh mod dnge, Sari bandise tod dnge Ye Semester….. Jese-tese nikl jaye, Next Semester me to pakka record tod denge!
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Kagaz ki kashti thi, Pani ka kinara tha! Khel ki masti thi, DIL ye awara tha! Kaha aa gaye is Samajdari ki Duniya me, Wo School ka Bachpana hi pyara tha!
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Woh Aam Si Shaam Thi Jab Judaa Huye Hum,
Na Toot Ke Pyaar Kar Sake Na Ro Sake Hum,
Woh Bhi Din The Ke Roz Baat Karte The,
Aur Ek Yeh Din Hai Ke Awaaz Ko Taras Gaye Hum..:(
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Aap Bhool Jao Ye Aapki Marzi.
Magar
Hum Apni Akhri Saans Tak Aapko Bhool Nahi Payenge.
Wada Karte Hain Aapse Hum Mar Bhi Jaye To.
Sabse Jayada Aapko Rulayenge.!
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Y0un T0h Har Rang Ka M0usam Mujh Se Waqif Hai,
Mgr
Raat Ki Tanhaaayi Mujhy Kuch Alag Hi Jaanti Hai..!!
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Nice Lines From My Heart.
Kisi Ko Kya Hasil Hoga Mujhe Yad Karne Se.
Mai To Ek Aam Ladka Hu..
Aur Yha To Har Kisi Ko,
Khas Ki Talash H.
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