May the angels protect U,
May sadness 4get U,
May goodness surround U,
May happiness be round U,
And may God always bless U.
Ek Bar Santa Ek Ladki Ke Saath Facebook Pe,
Chat Kar Raha Tha, Usne Ladki Se Pucha,
Santa: BF Hai?
Ladki: Haan Hai.
Santa: HD Me Hai Ya Mp4 Me?
Blocked.
Pappu: Bhagwan Chandigarh Nu America Di Capital Bana De. Plz plz plz,
Ramu : Par kyun???
Pappu: Kyunki Main Paper Vich Ye Hi Likh Aaya Hun.
Rab chahe de do jitne bhi hume gum,
Rab chahe kar lo kuch khushiyaan bhi humari kum,
Rab chahe dalo is dil pe kitne bhi sitam,
Par bas unka pyar nasib ho de do ye kasam.
Ladkiya PANT ke Niche kya Pehnti he?
Vo CHAPPAL Pehenti he.
Niche pucha Andar nahi Pucha tha.
Santa: Kal meri shadi hai aur ladki walo ne kam log bulaye hai.
Banta: To isme prob kya hai?
Santa: Pata nhi papa mujhe le jaynge ya nhi.
Take out only the amount of food you plan to eat and don’t allow seconds.
Think before you eat. Don’t eat while distracted (TV, etc).
Stop and consider if you really want to eat that then consciously give yourself permission.
I’m not a handsome guy, but I can give my hand to someone who needs help.
Beauty is in the heart, not in the face.
While in India,
Arjun: Mom i wanna marry Vicky.
Mom: That’s not possible.
Arjun: But mom! Same sex marriages are legal now in most parts of the world.
Mom: But he’s not of our caste.
Raat ko naya chand mubarak,
Chand ko chandni mubarak,
Falak ko sitare mubarak.
Sitaroon ko bulandi mubarak.
Aur aap ko hamari taraf se:
As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world -
That is the myth of the atomic age - as in being able to remake ourselves.
Girl: Mere erade bade nek hain.
Aap 1000 me se ek hain.
Boy: Dimag ke hum bhi don hain.
Kameeni pahle ye bata baki k 999 kaun hain.
Ye kis k Aansu gire kafan pe mere,
Ye kon roya muj ajnbi k liye,
Meri maut k baad hi us ko ehsas ho gya,
Me kitna accha Dost tha uski Dosti k liye.
1.Find Inner Serenity by Making it Easier to Find Your Keys. For most people, getting control of clutter brings a greater sense of calm and decreased frustration.
2.Surround Yourself With Progress. When you complete a list of action steps, your instinct might be to throw the list away. After all, the work is completed! However, some creative professional teams take a different approach; they relish their progress. Some go so far as surrounding themselves with it. 3.Empty Your Inbox in 30 Seconds. Is your inbox filled with thousands and thousands of unread messages? Before you give up hope, there’s an instant way to clear your inbox of old emails in less than 30 seconds.nds.
Not enjoying your time out with what's his name? Tell him. The survey found 52 percent of singles think it's best to politely tell your date if you're not interested, and we agree. Neither party gets anything out of being dishonest, and you never know when you'll run into him or her again later in life. Remember: manners matter.
Ek aurat ne anna hazare se pucha..
Baapu aap roj roj anshan per kyun baith jate ho..??
Anna hazare:- Kya karu o ladies..
Main hu aadat se majboor.. Ha Ha
Eyes to look at u...
Hands to pray for u...
Mind to think of u...
Heart to care for u...
Lips to wish u good morning...
how to impress a girl:
respect her,
honour her,
love her,
protect her,
care for her,
how to impress boy
just a smile (game over)
Jab Koi Khayal Dil Se Takarata Hai,
Dil Na Chahkar Bhi Khamosh Rah Jata Hai
Koi Sab Kuch Kahkar Dosti Jatata Hai
Koi Kuch Na Kahkar Dosti Nibhata Hai
Choo le aasmaan zameen ki talaash na kar,
Jee le zindagi khushi ki talaash na kar,
Takdeer badal jaayegi khud hi mere dost,
Muskurana seekh le wajah ki talaash na kar.
Your appearance is the thing people see first. They look at your clothes, hair, shoes, etc. They make assumptions about you before you even open your mouth. If you want to impress people, dress for the occasion. Take time to get ready in the morning.
She straddles you placing her knees at your ears. She can hold onto a wall or headboard for support. While you're doing your thing, she can use her fingers to graze her ******s or rub the top of her vulva.
Benefits: She can direct the position of your tongue and the pressure against her by rising up or pressing down.
When she's on top in 69, she can control the intensity of oral stimulation on her clitoris by lifting or pressing her pelvis. From this position it's easy to work her finger magic on your perineum, the sensitive area just below your testicles. Also try the man-on-top position.
Benefits: Simultaneous oral pleasure.
Show up on time, be polite to the waitstaff, and give your date your undivided attention.
Ae khuda hamko tanhai na de Hum Jee Lenge Tanha, Magar Unko Tanhai Na De Humari Nigaho Mein Basi Hai Unki Surat Unko Bhale Hi Hum Dikhai Na De...
Doctor : Your Liver is enlarged
Patient : Does that mean it has space for more whiskey ?
This is called
Positive Thinking
l�l________
-/ l__l Delivery
| | ________
L(o)__l___(o)__|
This van is loaded with
LOVE n CARE,
Wishing U and your family
A HAPPY DIWALI
Chand taro se raat jagmagane lagi,
Phoolon ki khushboo se duniya mehkane lagi,
So jaiyo raat ho gayi hai kafi,
Nindiya rani bhi aapko dekhne hai aane lagi.
”Good Night”
Zindagi ki udaas rahon mein log,
Milte hai aur fir bichad bhi jate hai,
Lekin kisi se bichad jane ka gham,
Zindagi bhar sab ko rulata rehta hai
Time And health are two precious assets that we don’t recognize and appreciate until they have been depleted.”
Man outside phone booth: Excuse me.
You are holding the phone since 20 mins have not spoken a word.
Man inside: I am talking to my wife.
Teacher: Tum mirror ke saamne baithkar kyun padhte ho…
Kapil Junior: Madam, Iske 3 faayde hain
1) Padhne ke liye company mil jaati hai
2) Khud par nazar bhi rehti hai
3) Saath mein revision bhi ho jaata hai
Uske doston se bolo ki tumhare peeche to ladkon ki line lagi hai lekin tum shayad us ladkeko pasand karti ho. Jab ye baat ghoom phirkar us ladke tak pahunchegi to ismein uske dostonne itna mirch masala laga diya hoga ki tumhara kaam ban jaayega.
Ladkon ko hasmukh ladkiyan badi pasand aati hain. Tum uske ghatiya se ghatiya baat par bhi zor-zor se haso. Wo bahut khush ho jayega aur tumhe chahne lagega.
संता- यार मैं सोच रहा हूं.. शादी कर लूं। बंता - अबे पगला गया है क्या घर से क्यों हाथ धोना चाहता है। संता- अबे शादी कर रहा हूँ, इसमें घर जाने से क्या मतलब... बंता- अबे बीवी घर बेच देगी संता- तू पागल हो गया है, वो घर क्यों बेचेगी बंता- देख फूलवाली फूल बेचती है, सब्जीवाली सब्जी बेचती है, तो घरवाली घर नहीं बेचेगी..??
संता- यार मैं सोच रहा हूं.. शादी कर लूं। बंता - अबे पगला गया है क्या घर से क्यों हाथ धोना चाहता है। संता- अबे शादी कर रहा हूँ, इसमें घर जाने से क्या मतलब... बंता- अबे बीवी घर बेच देगी संता- तू पागल हो गया है, वो घर क्यों बेचेगी बंता- देख फूलवाली फूल बेचती है, सब्जीवाली सब्जी बेचती है, तो घरवाली घर नहीं बेचेगी..??
Guy: Hey,is ur name Google ??
Girl:No
Guy: but u have all the things i'm searching for.
Boy: Men dress up to been seen by others.
Girl: Laughs and says girls dress down to be seen by others.
In countries where innocent people are dying, the leaders are following their blood rather than their brains.
A power struggle with your boss is when she has the power and you have the struggle.
Question: What is the math?
Answer: Mentally affected teachers harassing students.
Aamir Khan before the launch of his first film Qayamat Se Qayamt Tak himself pasted hundred of posters on buses and different locations in Mumbai