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Shilpa's Joke
True lines
True lines: Our heart is the greatest haramkhor in d world.. Sala usi ke liye pareshan rahega, jo bhav nahi deti!
May,5 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
kya maal hai
Who is a Boy? Ladke wo hai, Jo marne ke baad narak me bhi mile to, Waha bhi kehte hai: “Abe yamraj ki ladki dekhi”..? kya maal hai yaar”
May,5 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Ready to Mingle
Hitler Says: I suggest u to do WAR but never Love Bcoz in WAR either u Live or U Die But in Love neither u Live nor u Die So stay Single n always Ready to Mingle.
May,5 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Imran Khan Ki biwi Ki shadi

Imran Khan :- Pehle mein apni wife ko B.A. karwaunga,

Phir M.A. phir PHD karwaunga,

Phir badhiya si naukri dilwaunga..

Kapil :- Phir acchaa sa rishta dekh kar uski shaadi bhi karwa dena....!

May,4 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Dard mein

Muskurahat tumhi se milti hai, dard mein raahat tumhi se milti hai, tum mat ruthna mujhse kabhi, kyonki jeene ki chaahat tumhi se milti hai

May,4 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Din Aur Raat

Jadu He Uski Har ek Baat MeYaad Bahut Aati Hai Din Aur Raat Me Kal Jab Dekha Tha Mene Sapna Rat Me Tab bhi Uska Hi Haath Tha Mere Haath Me.

May,4 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Don’t force

If it happens, it happens. Don’t force it.

May,2 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Dildar na mile

Dil do kisi ek ko magar nek ko
?
Jab tak sucha dildar na mile
?
Try karo har ek ko.

May,2 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Toy plane

Mr. DAD your wife hit me badly..
i am not gonna stay with u anymore.
Dont try to stop me or butter me with a toy plane,
i need my barbie doll bye.

May,2 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Chances Full Hai

Class ki har ladki ek phool hai,
Usse chahna ek bhool hai.
Jo inki soch mein gul hai,
Samjho uski Compartmental ke chances full hai.

May,2 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Every Inch

Gonna Give You Every Inch Of My Love

May,1 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Jameen per

Aaj bhigi hai palke kisi ki yaad me,
aakash bhi simat gaya hai apne aap me,
oas ki boonde aisi giri hai jameen per,
maano chand bhi roya ho unki yaad me

Apr,30 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Dard Hota Hai

Saans Tham Jati Hai Per Jaan Nahi Jaati
Dard Hota Hai Per Aawaj Nahi Aati
Ajeeb Log Hai Is Zamaane Mein
Koi Bhul Nahi Pata Aur Kisiko Yaad Nahi Aati

Apr,30 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Kya khayega

Mom: Kya khayega?
Me: Aloo hai?
Mom: No
Me: Paneer?
Mom: No
Me: Chicken?
Mom: No
Me: Eggs?
Mom: nahi.
Me: Tala hai?
Mom: yes
Me: Kitchen pe laga do

Apr,30 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Class me

Teacher: class me ladai kyun nahi karni cahaie?

Pappu: pata nahi exam mein kiske peche baithna pad jaye..

Apr,29 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Without affair

Aaj kal 2 chezain sirf qismat waloonko milty hai

1: Jungle main ghomta huwa white hathi.

2: Without affairs wala Jeevan sathi.

Apr,29 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Like Gas

Friends are like gas in the ass.
Some are loud,
some are silent,
some are thuuss,
some are phuss.

However they maybe,
they bring a lot of relief.

Apr,29 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
U Ignore

If u read, u owe me a HUG,
if u delete,u Owe me a kiss,
if u save,u owe me a DATE,
if u return txt msg 2 me,
u OWE me All,
bt if u ignore,
U r MINe!
So wat will U do?

Apr,28 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Misunderstand

When u feel bitterness towards someone,
Look into ur memory
to find at least 1 good moment u have spent with that person!
People aren’t bad always,
they r often misunderstand!

Apr,27 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Very very funny

Touching lines by an ex-boyfriend:
Aaj apni girlfriend ki shadi me jaa kar yeh ehsas hua ki,
Khana acha ho to mohabbat bhi feeki lagti hai..!!

Apr,27 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
REDLIGHT

Teacher- Bachcho aaj hum grammar padhnge
1 aurat 1 khidki se jhank rahi hai
Boy- Ye 1 vachan hua
Teache- Bahut c aurte khdkiyo se jhak rahi hain
Boy- Ye to REDLIGHT area hai

Apr,24 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
PAPPI TA DO

Kaash Ladkian Papita Bechti Hoti To Ladkon Ko Bohut Faida Hota
Puchho To

Woh Kaise?

Ldka Ldki Se Kehta

Hello Madam

-

-

PAPPI TA DO...

Apr,21 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Kiss my lips

The fluffy cloud may kiss the sky, 
The rose may kiss the butterfly, 
The morning due may kiss the grass,
But you my friend may kiss my lips!!

Apr,21 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Don’t judge

 Don’t judge someone’s life until you’ve felt their pain

Apr,21 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
i dont love u

You’re always on my mind, wanna be with you, its all true but i dont love u…!

Apr,21 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
i miss you

i wanna die looking in your eyes..!!! i miss you really……..!!!!

Apr,21 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
GOLMAAL RETURN

If Any Fat Girl Cross U…
But Come Back 2 U At Listening Of Ur Whistle ..
ThiS Situation Iz CaaLD ..
“GOLMAAL RETURN”

Apr,21 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Choice is urs…


What is d difference between Monkey & Donkey?
Monkey will save dis message
& Donkey will delete dis message. Choice is urs…

 

Apr,21 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Don't have a girlfriend.


Reason why I never let my girlfriend touch my phone. I don't have a girlfriend.

Apr,20 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Rishte

Karib Itna Raho Ki Rishton Mein Pyar Rahein,
Dur Bhi Itna Raho ki Aane Ka Intejaar Rahein,
Rakho Ummeed Rishton Ke Darmiyan Itni,
Ki Tut Jayein Ummeed Magar Rishte Barkarar Rahein..!!

 

Apr,20 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Baba Ramdev

90 saal ke ek dadaji mrityu ke baad swarg pahunche..

Swarg mein khoobsurat apsarao ka nritya dekh kar dada ji fut-fut kar rote hue bole…

“Saala Baba Ramdev ke chakkar mein nahin padta, to kab ka yaha pahunch gaya hota”

 

Apr,18 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
MMS

Guard enters Sonia Gandhi’s office- “Madam aapka MMS aaya hai!!”

Sonia Gandhi- Oh Noo!!

Manmohan Singh enters: “Kamino. Mera poora naam liya karo.”

Apr,18 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Beta Bra Ho Gya

Aapka beta bahut bra ho gaya hai.
Umar kya hai uski?
Woh panties saal ka hai.
Hose-siyaar hai,nahi?
Cup itna bra ho gaya pata nahi chala..

Apr,18 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Degi

Girl: If you will propose me with shortest sentence ever then only I will accept ..

Boy: DEGI?

Apr,18 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Sweetest language

Bengali : Our language is sweetest
We call everyone politely..
Like mithun da, bappi da, pranab da!!
Punjabi : lo ji saddi wi same to same , bhen da, maa da, bhutni da ??????????

 

Apr,18 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Oh Kheta di Mehak

Oh Kheta di mehak,
Oh jhumara da nachna,
Hada yaad aunda hai,
Tere naal manaya hoeya har saal yaad aunda hai
Dil karda hai tere kol aake Vaisakhi da anand lelaan
Ki karan kam di majburi,
Phir vi dost tu mere dil vich rehnda hain...
Happy Baisakhi!!

Apr,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Pappu

Pappu: I love you!
Girl: Phurrrr...
Pappu: I'll even die for you.
Girl: Phurrrr...
Pappu: I can't live without you.
Girl: Phurrrr...
Pappu: I even bought a diamond ring for you.
Girl: Really?
Pappu: Phurrrrr...

Apr,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Mobile recharge

Aur ladki ke mobile pe hamesha top up karwado taki wo aap se mobile pe bhi batt karsake.

Apr,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
what is success

Father: Success is when signature turns into autograph.
Son: No dad,
.
Success is…
when Signature turns intoBlack Label or Chivas Regal!

Apr,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Ek kadva sach

Ye jeevan ka ek kadva sach hai bhakton. Aajkal usi ladke ki har koi izzat karta hai jiski girlfriend hoti hai. Bina girlfriend waalo ko koi nahi poochhta hai.

Apr,9 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Shakal-soorat aur baal

 Use boldo ki uski shakal-soorat aur baal kisi filmi hero se milte hain. Ye jhooti baatein bolte waqt hasna mat. Phir kya, wo is kadar tumhare liye paagal ho jaayega ki tum soch bhi nahi sakti.

Apr,9 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
This is deadly.

Sardar was driving car very fast.
Trafic police caught him.
Sardar-Sir, I am learning driving.
Police-without Teacher?
Sardar-ya,i m from IIN…

Apr,4 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak


On whatsapp groups

Hey Bhagwan,
Aaj kaise bhi India ko jeetado. Admin ka Tirupati main mundan
karvaa denge..!!!

Apr,4 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Rose Is laal

Rose is Laal,
Sky is Neela &
Your mind is Khali Pateela.
Sorry Bura lga kya?

COFFEE is Hot,
Water is Cool,
I'm Smart & You're Fool.
Lo or Bura Maan lo...

Mar,21 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
बीवी ने कुछ कहा तो नहीं

संता पार्टी से रात को देर से घर गया।

अगले दिन दोस्तों ने उससे पूछा- बीवी ने कुछ कहा तो नहीं??

संता- न न, कुछ खास नहीं.. ये दो दांत तो मुझे वैसे भी निकलवाने थे!

 

Mar,16 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Ishq Ka Ehsas

Ek din jab hua ishq ka ehsas unhe,
Wo hamre pas aakar pure din rote rahe,
Aur hum bhi itne khudgarz nikle yaro,
Ke ankhein band kar kr kafan me sote rahe..

Mar,16 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
खुलकर अपनी बात कहें

दबंग : लड़कियों को लड़कों का कॉन्फिडेंट नेचर बहुत भाता है। उन्हें शर्मीले और संकोची लड़के बिल्कुल पसंद नहीं हैं। इसलिए कभी भी बात करने में हिचकिचाएं नहीं और खुलकर अपनी बात कहें।

Mar,14 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Santa Kumbh Ke Mele Me..

Santa praying in kumbh Mela:
He prabhu,
Nyaay kro.
Kumbh K Mele me
hmesa bhai-bhai hi Q bichhadte he
Kabhi pati-patni pr Bhi to try kro.

Mar,11 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Feel divine

Happy Valentine's Day
to
Singles ready to mingle
Twos who're cochy coos
Triangles trying to shoo away someone
Foursomes who're overdoing it
Fives who are kinky
Sixes who are into orgy
Sevens who feel they're in Heaven
Eights who aren't really dates
Nines who feel divine
Tens who can't really be men!

Feb,6 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Ek teacher

I am Anjali Sharma, 25 female from jammu. Abhi main married hoon lekin ye stry tab ki hai jab mai unmarried thi ya phir yun kaho ki maney apni jawani me kdam rakha tha. Ye khani jab ki hai jab main +1 min thi jab mein 16 saal ki thi. Toh huva yun ke. Aaj mera janam din tha mai teachers ko mithai baant rahi thi. Sabhi teachers ko de chuki thi bas mere chemisry ki mam reh gaye they. Main uno dhundtey hundtey chem lab mein pahoonchi. Whan dekha ke chemical room mein halchal ke awajein a rahi thi. Mainet darvaze ke upar se dekha ki mam sirf salwar mein they aur engish ke sir apna penis nikal ke khade they. Meri friend mere saath thi hum dono ek dusre ko dekhney lagey. Tabhi mam ney sir ka penis munh me dal liya aur jaldi aldi choosney lagi hum dono akhen phad phad kar dekhney lagee. Mam toh unmarried they lekin sir do bachon ke baap they. Thodi der bad sir ne mam ke moohme ejaculate kar diya. Mam bra pahneny lagey hum jaldi se benchj se utar gaye aur darvajey ke taraf chale gaye. Aur wahin khadey ho gaye. Mam aur sir bahr aye toh mam ne humey dekha pahley toh mam dar gaye lekin humney aisey jataya kwe hamney kuch dekha hi nahin. Mainey mam ko mithai khilai aur whan se chaley gaye. Hum dono hot hochuki thi kyunki mainey pahle baar kisi ka penis dekha tha aur meri fried ne bhi. Hum jaldi se girls toilet mein gaye aur finguring karney lagee. Hum dono wapis class mein aa gaye. 2 periods baad chemistry ki lab thi. Hum jaisey hi lab mein ghuse humey woh sara najara phir yaad aa gaya. Mainey apni fried ko kha toh hum dono bhi chemical oom mei chale gaye aur finguring karney lagey. Itney mei mam aa gayee. Mam hum dono ko dantaney lagi main toh chup rahi lekin meri friend ne kaha aur jab saali tu yahan rashid(english teacher) ke saath kar rahee thi. Ye suntey hee mam ka rang ud gaya.

Maney usey chup rahney ko kha toh woh chup ho gaayee. Hum 3 room se bahar aaye mam ki aakhen sharam se neechey thi. Lab over honey ke baad mam ne hum dono ko rok liya. Jaisey hi lab me se sab chale gaye mam ney hum dono ke pair pakd liye aur kaha ki ye baat kisi ko naa btayen. Mera mann khrab ho chuka tha toh mainey kha ki ek shrat hai. Mam ne kha kya. Ye boltey hi maney kha mam agar aap hamare samney sir ke saath sex karo toh hum kisi ko nahin batyengey. Mam ne kha ki jo bhi hum khengi woh kar dengi lekin sex nahin. Par main aur meri dost zidd par add gayee. Mam ne kha thik hai mauka dekh kar kar lenge. Hum dono bhi maukey ki talsh karney lagey aur issi chakkar mein humney mam ke paas tution rakh li. Ek din mam ke parents kahin chale gayee ghar par sirf mam aur mam ka chota bhai tha. Meri dost ne kaha mam aaj mauka hai. Mam ne ek aur baar plz ki lekin hum nahin maani. Mam ne sir ko phone karke bulya. Jaisey hi sir aaye mam ne apne bhai ko kha ke bazar se khana le aaye mam ka khan bananey ka mood nahin hai.

Sir ne kha kya baat hai. Toh mam ne kha ye hai woh 2 chudail jinhoney us din humey dekha tha. Sir ka bhi rang ud gya. Meri dost ne kha chalo te waste mat karo shuru ho jao. Suntey hi mam ne sir ko pakad liyaaur sir ko kiss karney lagee. Dono ek soosre ke kapdey utarney lagey. Thodi der meindono nude ho gaye. Sir mam ke mommey choosney laggey. Aur mam ney kha woh 16 ki ho chuki hai lekin ye abhi 15 ki hi hai.sir ne meri tarf dekha aur kaha when apple is red its ready to pluck and when girl is 16 it isready to fuck. Mam ne meri bazoo pakdi aur apni traf khicney lagee. Maney mam ko zor se thappad mara aur kha ki humey sex dekhna hai krna nahin hai. Lekin meri dost ney apna top utar diya aur kha sex toh main bhi nahin karoongi lekin enjoy toh karoongi. Tabhi mam ka bhai darwaja knock krney laga. Mam dar gayee aur mainey gussey mein darwaza khol diya aur mam ke hi ko dekh kar boli dekh teri bahen kya kar rahee hai. Sir ne mauka sambhal aur kha ki we are enjoying if you want than you can too. Itnet mein meri friend ney apni jeans bhi utar di, aur mam ke bhai se lipat gayee. Aur kahney lagee main tujhsey bahut pyaar karti hoon. Ye suntey hi usney usey god me utha liya aur kha main bhi tujhsey pasand karta hoon lekin main anjali yaani mujhsey pyar karta hai.main sun kar pagal ho gayee aur wahin khadi rahi. Mam ki sharm tut chuki thi mam ne sir ka apney munh me le liya aur jor jor se choosney lagey. Mam ka bhai ne bhi kapdey utar diye. Aur sanjna(meri friend) ke bra utar ke mere munh par faink di. Aur sanjana ke boobies chusne laga sanjana ne kha agar tum mujsey pyar nahin krtey toh mere saath ye kyun kr rahey ho. Toh mam ka bhai kehta ki tere saath practise kar raha hoon. Aur udhar sir ne mam ke baal pakde aur badi berahme se utah diya.aur mam ko table pra bitha ke dhakka maar diya. Sir ne mam ki pussy par apna pennis rakha aur jaisey hi dhakka marne laga mam ka bhai ne sir ko dhkka maar diya aur kaha ruko abhi ek minute. Aap mere samney meri behn ke saath aisa nahin kra saktey.sir ne kaha toh phir kaise karoon bahenchod. Usney kaha dekho phir. Kehte hj usney sir ko kaha ki aap chair par baitho woh jaisey hi char par baithey mam ke bhai ne sir o chair se baandh diya. Mam ne kha thankyou amit aaj tumney mujhey bacha liya. Is par amit kahney laga unhoney mujhe behnchod kha hai aur snajna plz mujey behnchod bnnaye mein help kar. Snjna ne mam ko pakad liya aur amit ne der na kartey hue mam ki taangey kholi aur mam ki pussy mein apna penis ghusa diya mam cheekh padee saale behnchod, tu kab se mere pe najar gadye tha, amit ne apni bahen ko badi berahmei se choda aur apni behen ki pussi me sara sperm chod diya. Aur kaha ab isey choos. Mam bhi choosney lagi. Amit ka land dobara khada ho chuka tha main bhi do baar ejaculate ho chuki thi. Aur amit ne ab sanjana ki panty utari aur kha ab tu aa. Aur phir sanjana ko chodney laga. Mam ne sir ko khol diya aur sir se chudney lagee sir ne kha mujhey bhi toh kisi tight chut marney do toh madam boli anjali kis liye hai. Ye suntey hi main whan se bhag gayee. Agle din jab main school pahonchi toh mam aur sanjanna chutti par thi. Tabhi sir takra gaye. Sir ne kaha thankyou anjali main bhi kafee dino se sapna ke saath sex plan kar raha tha lekin woh saali maan hi nahin rahee thi. Tere jaane ke baad mainey amit ki gaand mari aur sanjna aur sapna ke saath do baar sex kiya. Aur haan sapna keh rahi thi ki woh tera bahut bura haal karegi. Aurmam ne aisa hi kiya.

Jan,5 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
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