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Nikki's Joke
Open The Door

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
You can be sure of one thing:
Either the car is new or the wife.

Apr,28 2015
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Socha nahi tha!

Tere baare mein jab sochaa nahi tha..
Main tanha tha magar..itna nahi tha..
Manane ruthne kr khel mein..
Hum bichad jaynge ye socha nahi tha!

Apr,27 2015
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A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point.
That's basic spelling that every woman ought to know.

Apr,27 2015
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Right places

 

Sometimes, the wrong choices take us to the right places.

Apr,27 2015
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Schooll ka Bachha

1 gaon me Rahul Gandhi ko 1 bache ne kaha:
Sirji 14 mahino se yaha school me teacher nahi he.
Rahul- To school kaise chal raha he?
Bacha- Jaise desh chal raha hai! 

Apr,27 2015
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Dost And Girlfriend

Dost and Girlfriend Main Farq ..

Jab Main Haspatal Main Hota Hu Tou,
Girlfriend Poochti Ha,
Tabiyat Kesi Ha?

Our Dost Poochta Ha,
Nurse Kesi Ha? 

Apr,27 2015
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May DHAMAKA

May DHAMAKA
Send Your Girlfriend to Me
&
Get A Child Free..
Hurry..
1st 10 Entries Will Get Twins..

Apr,24 2015
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Kya STYLE hai

Kya ANDAZ hai
kya JALVE hai
kya STYLE hai
aur
kya SMILE hai
messege to “karte nahi”
aur kehte hai “mere pass bhi” mobile hai

Apr,24 2015
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Famous Writer

A famous writer said.
“Love is like a long sweet dream”
&
“Marriage is like an alarm clock”
So have sweet dreams till the alarm clock wakes u up!

Apr,24 2015
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I QUIT.

i need no one..!! I QUIT..!!!

Apr,21 2015
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Weight Of A Girl

Ladki Ne Coin Dalke
Wt. Deka, 58kg
Dupata Utara, 56kg
Jacket Utara, 53kg
Aur Coin Khatam.
1 Bhikari Bola
Tu Chalu Rakh Coin Me daluga.
“G.N”

Apr,21 2015
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Greater Feeling

If you kiss someone that you do not love it's great.
But just think of kissing someone that you truly and madly are in love with.
There is no greater feeling than that.

Apr,20 2015
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Touching Your Lip


I’m with you reading this,
Looking at your eyes and your lips,
Touching your lips softly with my fingertips.
Making love to you in every kiss.

Apr,20 2015
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Dhamki Style

New style dhamki by Biwi : . . . Tum jitna time Facebook, Whatsapp ko doge, . . . . main utna time jabong, flipkart, Amazon ko dungi...:P

Apr,18 2015
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Moral

A Boy was driving a car. A girl on scooty overtook him.
Boy shouted, "Hey Buffalo"
Girl turned back n shouted..
"you donkey, idiot, stupid monkey"
Suddenly she had an accident
She was hit by a buffalo crossing the road..
MORAL:
"Girls never understand what a boy wants 2 say"

Apr,18 2015
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Internet Par Ladki

Internet par ladki pataayi,
Internet par ho gayi sagaayi,
Internet par divorce ho gaya,
Is bahaane computer ka course ho gaya.

Apr,18 2015
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Friday Kab Aayega
 Akshay Kumar fans conversation 
1:Bhai Aaj kal milta nai bohat busy ho
2:Kya Bhai last Friday hi toh mile the iss cinema hall me
Normal People: Yeh Sunday Kab aayega?
Akshay Kumar Fans: Yeh Friday kab aayega?
Apr,18 2015
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Appointmen
Alia Bhatt: Let's go for movie .
Varun: Shit, I've got a doctor's appointment today..
 
Alia Bhatt: Just cancel it,Tell him you're sick.
Apr,15 2015
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Deewana Hu

Deewana hu tera inkaar nahi,
Kaise keh du ke pyar nahi,
Kuch shararat to teri nazaron main bhi thi,
Main akela hi gunaahgar nahi.

Apr,15 2015
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Kya khaya

Kapil& His Girl Friend.. 
Kapil : Kya Khaya Aaj Dinner Mein? 
GF : Tumhe Bas Yehi Baatein Karni Aati Hai.. 
Kapil : Ok.. 
To Yeh Batao.. 
How Should RBI Fight These Inflationary Trends With Minimum Intervention In The Money Markets? . . . 
GF : Hmmmm.. Daal Chawal And Aalu Ki Sabji..

Apr,13 2015
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Paani mein whiskey

Paani mein whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein brandy milao to nasha chadta hai.
Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.

Apr,13 2015
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Breakup

What is breakup ???
.
.
Itz A Matter of time
when a
jaan becomes Jaanwar
and
a cutiee becomes a kutti.

Apr,13 2015
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Bazaar

Husband : Jab mein aache clothes pehenkar bazaar jata hu to sabziwale
Sabzi mehngi dete hai. Jab gande kapde pehenkar jata hu to saste.
Wife : Tum katora lekar jaya karo na, free me hi sabzi mil jayegi!

Apr,13 2015
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Tum Ganpati hote

Husband: Kaash main Ganpati hota. Tum roz meri pooja karti, mujhe laddu khilati, bada mazaa aata.

Wife: Haan, kaash tum Ganpati hote. roz tumko laddu khilati, har saal visarjan karti, naye Ganpati aate, bada maza aata!!

Apr,10 2015
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Facebook mein


Jee haan, yadi aapke paas girlfriend ho to aap facebook mein jo kuch bhi daalenge wo like zaroor kiya jaata hai. Sabse pehle aapki girlfriend use like aur comment karegi, uske baad ladki ka comment dekhkar aapke sabhi dost bhi usmein comment karne ko betaab hue jaayenge. :D :D

Apr,9 2015
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Wife Pregnant

Ek Sales Manager tension mai tha.....
Distributor : Kya hua, Sahab ??:
Manager : 6 months se tour pe hoon, aur kal pata chala wife pregnant ho gayi hai "
Distributor : Ab pata chalega, bina order k maal aata hai to kaisa lagta hai...

Apr,8 2015
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FB Shutdown

Boss comes up to an employee: Yesterday you did a great job - in one day you managed to do as much work, as you did in previous month! Thanks boss, that's because Facebook was shut down for the whole day.

Apr,6 2015
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Smile While Messaging

Sit in grief and depression for the whole day and nobody shows interest in knowing what's wrong.
But smile seeing a message on your phone and the whole damn world wants to know what's the message!

Apr,4 2015
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April Fool Proposal

Girl ATM pe Pappu se..

Girl : bhaiya mujhe apna balance check karna hai.. Aap meri help kar do plz..

Pappu use ek zor ki laat marta hai aur ladki gir jati hai.
.
.
Pappu: tera balance to bahot kharab hai!!

Apr,3 2015
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Exam Time

Height of attempting all questions in exams:
Qust. Define Array?
Santa Wrote: Array is a slang that we use to call anyone ….. for Eg. “Array Yaar sun to jara”

Apr,2 2015
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मैं मैथ्स का प्रोफेसर हूं और मैंने दाल सपोज&#

संता रेस्ट्रॉन्ट में खाना खाने गया और सिर्फ रोटी ऑर्डर की।

वेटर ने रोटी लाकर परोसी, तो प्रोफेसर खाली प्लेट में रोटी डुबोकर खाने लगे।

वेटर ने हैरान होकर पूछा-सर, यह आप क्या कर रहे हो? आपकी प्लेट तो खाली है!

संता-शट अप! मैं मैथ्स का प्रोफेसर हूं और मैंने दाल सपोज़ की हुई है

 

 

Mar,16 2015
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मैं किसी की कॉपी नहीं करता

संता-कल मैंने तेरी भाभी को कातिल कहा, उसने खुश होकर मुझे चाय के साथ पकोड़े भी खिलाए।

बंता-बढि़या है यार, मैं भी आज बोलूंगा, लेकिन अंदाज बदल कर। तू तो जानता है, मैं किसी की कॉपी नहीं करता।

संता (अगले दिन)- क्या हुआ, मिले पकोड़े?

बंता- मुझे तो खाना भी नहीं मिला। मैं तो बस कातिल की जगह हत्यारिन बोला।

Mar,16 2015
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तेरे होंठ कैसे जल गए?

संता- तेरे होंठ कैसे जल गए?

बंता- अरे कुछ नहीं यार, बीवी को रेलवे स्टेशन छोडऩे गया था। वह मायके जा रही थी और खुशी के मारे ऐसा पागल हो गया कि ट्रेन के इंजन को ही चूम लिया।

Mar,16 2015
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pyaari si smile Zarur kare

Ladkiyon se jab bhi mile ek pyaari si smile Zarur kare

Mar,14 2015
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What is Baba Ji ka thullu

BF - Tell me I will give you the answer! !
Girl - What is Baba Ji ka thullu??

Mar,13 2015
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Bbm Chalane Ke Liye

Bbm Chalane Ke Liye Blackberry Khareedne Walo
Tumhe Kya Mila?
BABAJI KA THULLU....!!!!

Mar,13 2015
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Mar,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Dil Me

Kab maine kaha ki shona aur chandi chahiye,
Bas aapke dil me chhota sa kona chahiye,
Jise hum keh sake dilse apna,
Aisa bhi to koi yaar hona chahiye

Mar,11 2015
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Pal Mubarak

Aaj Mubarak, Kal Mubarak,
Holi Ka Har Pal Mubarak,
Rang Birangi Holi Me,
Mera Bhi Ek Rang Mubarak
Wishing You Happy Hol

Mar,3 2015
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Raat

Jo mere the wo mere ho na paye,
aankhoo mein aansu the magar hum ro na paye,
ek roz unhone kaha hum milenge khwabon mein,
meri kismat dekho usi raat hum so na paye.

Feb,21 2015
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Love To Fly

This is love to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.

Feb,6 2015
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Know Her,

Try getting to know her, maybe if she works somewhere near you, you can go "visit" her work place. Pop in and say hey before you leave to go home, or maybe ask her if she'd like to hang out on your break.

Feb,3 2015
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My Underwear

Can You Guess The Color of My Underwear?

Feb,3 2015
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Power Kiss

Sometimes the most passionate kisses have very little to do with your mouth. Rather, it’s the commanding way you use your hands that can make sparks fly. For Heather, 29, from New York, NY, kissing hits new heights when her girlfriend grabs her just so. “She’ll pull me close when I least expect it, putting her right hand firmly around my waist and cradling the back of my head with her left hand before kissing me,” she explains. “I love that kind of kiss!”

Feb,3 2015
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Cut Down On Alcohol, Tobacco, & Other Drugs

Using these substances in excess may interfere with your ability to control ejaculation.

Feb,3 2015
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Bin Sawan Barsat

Bin sawan barsat nahi hoti
Suraj dube bin rat nahi hoti
Ab aesi adat ho gai hai ki
Aapko wish kiye bina kisi
Tyohar ki shuruwat nahi hoti.

Jan,13 2015
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Udayye Patang

Tan Mein Masti, Man Mein
Umang, Chalo Akash Mein
Dale Rang, Ho Jaye Sab
Sang Sang, Udayye Patang!
Happy Makar Sankranti!

Jan,13 2015
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50 ladkiya

Banta Roz Subha 50 ladkiya mera intezar karti hain
Santa- are wah Vo kaise?

.

.
Banta- Main Girls collage ka busdriver Hu na.

Jan,10 2015
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Sabse Zada Pyaai Ladki Duniya Ki

Acha Pyar Har Baar Qurbani Dene Ke Liye Majboor Hota Hai...
Kuchh Waqt Purani Tumhe Baat Btata Hu...
Kaise Hua Mai Barbaad Ye Kahani Sunata Hu...
Ham Bhi The Aam Insano Ki Tarah Apni Zindagi
Ko Khul Ke Jee Rahe...
Dosto Ke Sang Haste The Bolte The Khushi Ke
Jaam Pee Rahe The...
Ke Phir Achanak Se Dastak Sunayi Di Kisi Ki...
Use Dekh Kar Mano Ke Koi Had Hi Na Rahi Meri
Khushi Ki...
Dhire Dhire Mai Uske Pyar Me Pagal Sa Hone
Laga...
Din Raat Zamane Ko Bhool Uske Khyalo Me Khone
Laga...
Uspe Bhi Asar Meri Mohabbat Ka Khoob Chha
Raha Tha...
Sach Puchho To Pahle Pyar Ka Mza Ham Dono Ko
Aa Rha Tha...
Halki Nokjhok Mithe Jhagdo Aur Beshumar Pyar
Ke Sath Din Guzarte Gye...
Sath Sath Hum Unpe Aur Bhi Jyada Shiddat Se
Marte Gye...
Phir Aagya Wo Din Jo Har Ashiq Ki Kismat Me
Zaroor Hota Hai...
Sacha Pyar Har Baar Qurbani Dene Ke Liye
Majboor Hota Hai...
Aayi Wo Mere Paas Kuchh Majbooriya Kuchh
Bhane Le Kar...
Ham Ab Ek Nhi Ho Sakte Aise Hi Kuchh Fasane Le
Kar...
Ho Sake To Maaf Karna Mera Isme Koi Kasoor Na
Tha...
Maine Bhi Has Ke Use Vida Kiya Mujhe Laga Ke
Mai Itna Kamzor Na
Tha.....
Magar Jaise Jaise Din Uski Vidayi Ke Nazdik Ate
Gye...
Gum Ke Kale Saye Mujh Par Waise Waise Chhate
Gye...
Wo Shadi Kar Chli Gyi Apne Sajan Ke Ghar...
Mai Use Dhondhta Hua Firta Raha Dar Bdar...
Uske Gum Me Mujhe Nashe Ne Gher Liya Tha...
Mujhe Uski Yaad Ne Din Rat Shrab Pine Pe
Majboor Kiya Tha...
Kuchh Waqt Me Hi Mai Pure Shahar Me Badnaam
Hogya...
Ek Abhagi Maa Ka Achha Beta Kisi Ki Yaado Me
Kho Kar Gumnaam
Hogya...
Ab Sabko Mohabbat Karne Se Rokna Hi Kaam Hai
Mera...
Koi Ek Bhi Bach Jaye Meri Wajah Se To
Samjhunga K Yahi Inam Hai
Mera.......

Jan,9 2015
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Murge Ka Anda

Ek murgi market gayi, aur dukaandar se boli, “ek anda dena.”
Dukaandar bola, “sharm nahin aati, murgi hokar anda mangti ho.”
Murgi boli, “mere pati ne kaha hai ki 3 rupyee ke ande ke liye
apna figure kharab mat karo.”

Jan,6 2015
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