STORY
VIDEOS
NON VEG
Santa: Tumhaari Dukan Par Itni Mithai Rakhi Rehti Hai,
Kabhi Khaane Ka Mann Nahi Karta?
Banta: Mann Toh Bahut Karta Hai Par Papa Maarenge,
Isliye Chaatkar Rakh Deta hoon.
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Old Love Story: Start from eyes,
Grow with gifts,
End with tears.
New Love Story: Start from mobile,
Grow with balance share,
End with SIM Change.
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Santa fouj me bharti hua
2 din bad jung suru ho gai
santa ki topi per goli lagi
santa ne hathiyar phenk kar bola
aqalmand ke liye ishara kafi he.
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Candidates for sales roles are likely to be required to exhibit a competitive nature,
High motivation to achieve results, and the ability to initiate and close sales.
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Bas mai condector: Madam is bachhou ki age kitni hai?
Mahila: Chhota bachha 2 sal, bich ka 2.5 sal ka or bada bachha 3 sal ka.
Bas condector: Madam ticket nahi lena ho to age bhale hi kam batao
Par gape to kam se kam 9 mahine ka rakho.
Madam: Bich ka
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Teacher: Kal School kyon nahi aaye tum?
Pappu: GirlFriend Se Milne Gaya Tha.
Teacher: Kis Liye?
Pappu: Yes Sir.
Teacher: Maine Pucha Kis Liye?
Pappu: Liye Sir Bahut liye.
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Teri dosti ki aadat si pad gayi hai mujhe,
Kuch der tere sath chalana baki hai.
Shamshan mein jalta chodkar mat jana,
Warna ruh kahegi k ruk ja,
Abhi tere yaar ka dil jalna baki hai.
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Master ji studnt se bole koi ashiqi wala sher sunao.
Studnt: Kutta marta haddi pe,
Bhuka marta roti pe,
Masterji tumhari do beti hai,
Par mai mrta hun choti pe.
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Boss: Mere liye ak shisha lekar aao jisme
main apna muh dekh sakun.
Santa: Nahi mila sir.
Sab me mera hi muh dikh raha hai.
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What exactly does this company value the most, and how do you think my work for you will further these values?
972
People say that..
“No Sorry and No Thanks
In Friendship or in A Relationship..!!”
But reality is:
These 2 words actually save the relations..!!
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Sumona: Is Line Ko English Main Translate Karo,
Usne Apna Kaam Kia Or Karta Hi Gaya.
Kapil: He Done His Work And Done Dana Dan, Done Dana Dan.
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Itna khubsurat kaise muskura lete ho,
Itna qatil kaise sharma lete ho,
Kitni aasani se jaan le lete ho,
Kisi ne sikhaya hai ya bachpan se hi kamine ho?
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Kapil: Kitne paise huye?
Auto driver: 50 Rs.
Kapil: Ye le 25 Rs.
Auto driver: Ye kya sirf 25 Rs. baaki ke 25 kaun dega?
Kapil: Waah beta mujhse hoshiyaari Tu bhi to baith k aaya hai to sharing ka paisa kon dega Tera baap?
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Hasrat hain sirf tumhey paaney ki,
Aur koyi khawahish nahin is deewane ki,
Shikwa mujhe tum se nahin khuda se hain,
Kya zrurat thi tumhe itna khubsurat bnane ki.
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जीत किसके लिए हार किसके लिए,
ज़िंदगी भर ये तकरार किसके लिए,
जो भी आया है वो जायेगा एक दिन,
फिर ये इतना अहंकार किसके लिए.
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Sajaa darwar hai or ek jyoti jagmagayi hai,
Naseeb jagega un jagran karane walo ka,
Naseeb jagega jagran me aane walo ka,
Wo dekho mandir me meri maat muskarayi hai,
HAPPY NAVRATRI.
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एक आदमी: नेता जी हमारे इलाके में शमशान घाट नहीं है.
नेता: आप मुझे एक बार वोट डाल कर जिता दीजिये मैं आपके इलाके में जगह जगह शमशान घाट बनवा दूंगा.
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Dhadkano Ko Sunkar Bhi Tumhe Pyaar Ki Khabar Nahi Hoti.
Kya Mahsoos Karoge Tum Dil Ka Dard,
Dil Tutne Ki To Awaz Bhi Nahi Hoti.
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Santa: Station jaane k kitne logay?
Rikshawala: 50.
Santa: 20 lelo.
Riksha: 20 main kon le k jaayeega?
Santa: Tum piche bheto hum leke jaayega.
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Truly rural. (x3)
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Ek Aadmi Raat Ko Duty Ke Bad Ghar Aaya.
Darwaja Knock Kiya To Ander Se Biwi Ki Awaj Aayi.
Biwi: Kon?
Aadmi: Guddu Ka Papa.
Biwi Chonkte Hue: Haye Main Mar Gayi, Fir Ander Kon Hai.
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936
Son: Papa Ap Ko Yaad Hai,
Ap Ne Kaha Tha Ki Agar Exam Me Paas Hua,
To 5000 Rs Inam Denge.
Papa: Han Han Bilkul Yaad Hai.
Son: To Mubarak Ho,
Ap Ke 5000 Bach Gaye.
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Dost Ki Yaad Se Badi Koi Doulat Nhi Hoti,
Sath Rehna Hi Dost Ki Jarurat Nahin Hoti.
Duriyan Kar Deti Hain Yaadon Ko Jinda,
Warna Yadon Ki Koyi Kimat Nahin Hoti.!
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Lafzo Ki Tarah Mujhe Kitaabon Me Milna,
Banke Mahak Mujhe Gulaabon Me Milna,
Jub Bhi Mujhe Aapki Yaad Aaye,
To Banke Sapne Mujhe Raaton Me Milna.
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Girl: Mehnga Perfume Laga K Lift Me Ayi,
Or Santa Ko Akad K Boli,
Cobra Perfume, Rs6000.
Achanak Lift Ruk Gayi Or Khuch Smell Aayi.
Ladki Ne Apna Naak Pakda Or Santa Ko Dekhne Lagi,
Santa With Smile: Muli 14 Rupey Kilo.
Ladki Behosh.
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933
Rajnikant: Aaj Mere Kutte Ne Anda Diya.
Big B: Kutta Kab Se Anda Dene Laga?
Rajnikant: Ye Rajni Ka Style Hai,
Maine Apni Murgi Ka Naam Kutta Rakha Hai.
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How to reduce weight?
First turn your head to the right and then to the left.
Repeat this one whenever you have given something to eat.
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Santa singh to Banta Singh: Jaldi Kar Khidki se Kood ja, Police hamare peechey Padi hui hai.
Banta looks from the window and says: Par ye to 13th Floor hai.
Yaha se kaise Koodu?
Santa: Are tu is time Shagun Apshagun mat soch, Bas Kood Ja.
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My real smile comes when i am with you Darling.
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Aapne kabhi socha hai.
Mirch ankho ke alawa or kaha kaha lagti hai?
Sochiye.
Kheto mai lagti hai.
Padhe likhe gawaar hmesha bas ulta sochlo.
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Mohabbat Par Itna Yaqeen to Na Tha,
Jitna Tum Par Hai,
AyE JaAn,
Bus Itna khyal Rakhna,
AGar WaFa Na kar Sako To,
Dhoka Bhi Mat deNa.
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Ek Bar Santa Galti Se Ladies Toilet Mein Guss Gaya.
Vaha Bethi Ladies Ek Dum Se Gabra Ke Khadi Ho Gayi.
Santa Ne Unhe Dekha Aur Muskurate Hue Kaha.
Santa: Arey Betho Betho, Ijjat Dil Mein Ho Bas Yahi Kafi Hai.
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Bakri Ki Jan Talwar Ke Niche,
Ladki Ki Jan Salwar Ke Niche,
Jo Chali Jaye Mat Bhago Uske Piche,
Pyar Karo Usi Se Jo Salwar Khole Khusi Se.
Best Of Luck.
548
Aap Ladki ki Tareef Kar Sakte hHe Par Jada Tareef Bhi Na Kare
Aap chahen To Uski Sundarta Ki Tareeef Kar Sakte He Aur Use Bata Sakte He
Ki Vo Kese Dusree Ladkiyon Se Alag He,
Isse Use Mehsus Hoga Ki vo Baki Ladkiyon Se Behtar He.
Dyan Rahe Ladki Ko Aisa Nahi Lagna Chahiye Ki Aap Use Pata Rahe He
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Munnabhai: Ye Ramnavmi Kyo Manai Jaati Hai?
Circuit: Arey Simple Hai Bhai.Is Din Bhagwan Ram Aathvi Pass Karke
Navmi Me Gaye The.
805
50% of boys watch Comedy Nights with Kapil.
Just to see the girls sitting behind Navjot Singh Sidhu.
542
Arz kiya hai.
Humse Kya Khata Hui Ki Mail Aana Bund Hai?
Humse Kya Khata Hui Ki Mail Aana Bund Hai?
Aap hi humse naraz hain ya,
Outlook bund Hai.
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Doctor: Mrs. Taniya good news for you.
Girl: What do you mean Mrs. Taniya? Iam Miss Taniya.
Doctor: Oh Sorry Miss Taniya Bad news for you.
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Everyone has a unique tongue print, just like fingerprints.
908
Mein Tod Leta Agar Tum Gulab Hoti,
Main Jawab Banta Agar Tum Sawal Hoti,
Sabhi Jante Hai Ki Mein Nasha Nahi Karta,
Fir Bhi Pee Lete Agar Tum Sharaab Hoti.
536
Himesh Reshammiya ka kutta ghar se bhag gaya.
Dusre kutto ne pucha tu kyun bhaga?
Kutta: Sala raat ko gane ki practice khud karta hai, subah log mujhe marte the.
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Bhikhari: Beti 10 rupeye de do belence karwakar girlfriend se bat karni he.
Girl: Are wah bhikhari ne bhi girlfriend bana li.
Bhikhari: Are girlfriend ne hi bhikhari banaya he.
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Ek conductor ki shadi ho rahi thi
Jab Dulhn phero ke waqt uske pas akar baithi
Toh vo bola thoda pas ho k baith,
Ek sawari or baith sakti hai.
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Wife: Suppose Karo Agar Me,
Aapki Har Baat Samjhu,
Aur Har Baat Maanu To?
Husband Hasta Hai.
Bahut Hasta Hai.
Haste Haste Zameen Par Gir Jata Hai,
Aur Khushi Se Chilla K Kahta H.
Saala Suppose Karu To Bhi,
Yakeen Nahi Ho Raha.
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