Beta : Papa ek baat bolun
Papa : Bol ?
Beta: FACEBOOK pr mere 15 fake id hai..
Papa :Hamramkhor tou muhje q bta ra hai ??
Beta :Aap jis Riya ko 10 din se Chai pe bula rhe ho vo me hi hu
Bacha Chest pe hath rak k pencil uthne k liye jhuka
Baap: Chest pe hath kyu rkha?
Bacha: School me madam bina hath rakhe juki thi to fefde bahar aagaye the.
Be confident. She already said yes. She wants to be there.
Dress to impress. You don’t need to wear a suit and tie to the local pub, but it wouldn’t hurt to brush your teeth and put on a shirt that doesn’t look slept in.
Be on time. And be gracious if she’s fashionably late. (She probably just doesn’t want to show up before you get there.)
Be attentive. Ask great questions. Listen. Smile.
Pain and suffering have come into your life, but remember pain, sorrow, suffering are but the kiss of Jesus – a sign that you have come so close to Him that He can kiss you.
Jee haan, jab bhi aap unse milein to koshish karein ki aap itni khoobsurat lag rahi hain ki wo aapko complement dena na bhulein.
Ladkiyon se usi topic par baat-chit karo jis me use baat karne me maza aaye,
Isse wo aapse bahut samay tak baat kar sakti hai. aur aapki Dosti Pyar me bhi badal sakti hai.
Girl: Jab dad so jayenge to me gali me sikka phenkungi
Tum awaz sunkar turant andar a jana.
Lekin Kapil sikka phekne ke 1 ghante baad aya
Girl: itni der ku laga di ?
Kapil: Wo mein sikka dhund raha tha
Girl: pagal wo to mene dhaga bandh ke phenka tha, wapas khench lia.
LECTURER: Write a note on Gandhi Jayanti.
CIRCUIT WRITES: Gandhi was a great man,
but maa kasam i dont know who is Jayanti.
Koi locha-lafda hoga buddhe ka!
Bill gates never did Laxmi pooja but he is Richest man.
Einstein never did Sarswati pooja but hewas most Intelligent.
Belive in WORK Not in LUCK
एक आदमी की मौत के बाद उसका दोस्त उसकी पत्नी के पास आया और बोला,
"क्या मैं उसकी जगह ले सकता हूँ?"
पत्नी: मुझे कोई ऐतराज़ नहीं है। कब्रिस्तान वालों से एक बार पूछ लो
गुरुकुल में अपनी शिक्षा पूरी करके एक शिष्य अपने गुरु से विदा लेने आया। गुरु ने कहा- वत्स, यहां रहकर तुमने शास्त्रों का समुचित ज्ञान प्राप्त कर लिया, किंतु कुछ उपयोगी शिक्षा शेष रह गई है। इसके लिए तुम मेरे साथ चलो।
शिष्य गुरु के साथ चल पड़ा। गुरु उसे गुरुकुल से दूर एक खेत के पास ले गए। वहां एक किसान खेतों को पानी दे रहा था। गुरु और शिष्य उसे गौर से देखते रहे। पर किसान ने एक बार भी उनकी ओर आंख उठाकर नहीं देखा। जैसे उसे इस बात का अहसास ही न हुआ हो कि पास में कोई खड़ा भी है।
वहां से आगे बढ़ते हुए उन्होंने देखा कि एक लुहार भट्ठी में कोयला डाले उसमें लोहे को गर्म कर रहा था। लोहा लाल होता जा रहा था। लुहार अपने काम में इस कदर मगन था कि उसने गुरु-शिष्य की ओर जरा भी ध्यान नहीं दिया।
गुरु ने शिष्य को चलने का इशारा किया। फिर दोनों आगे बढ़े। आगे थोड़ी दूर पर एक व्यक्ति जूता बना रहा था। चमड़े को काटने, छीलने और सिलने में उसके हाथ काफी सफाई के साथ चल रहे थे। गुरु ने शिष्य को वापस चलने को कहा।
शिष्य समझ नहीं सका कि आखिर गुरु का इरादा क्या है? रास्ते में चलते हुए गुरु ने शिष्य से कहा- वत्स, मेरे पास रहकर तुमने शास्त्रों का अध्ययन किया लेकिन व्यावहारिक ज्ञान की शिक्षा बाकी थी। तुमने इन तीनों को देखा। ये अपने काम में संलग्न थे। अपने काम में ऐसी ही तल्लीनता आवश्यक है, तभी व्यक्ति को सफलता मिलेगी।
He : I Love You
She : Itni Jor Se Chamat Marungi
Seedhe Ghar Jake Girega :
He : Thoda Dhire Marna Market Jana Hai Maa Ne Dhaniya Lane Ko Bola Hai
Njdeek Na Aane Do,
Agar Yah Njdeek Aaye!
Is Par Hamla Kar Do,
Yani Bhaye Se Bhago Mat Iska Samna Karo
Circuit: Bhai, apun ne kal Sania Mirza se phone pe baat ki.
Munna bhai: Arre wah, kya kaha usne.
Circuit: Usne kaha, Mamu wrong number!!
Haqiqat Mohabbat Ki Judaai Hoti Hai,
Kabhi Kabhi Pyar Main Bewafai Hoti Hai,
Humari Taraf Haath Badhaa Kar Toh Dekh,
Dosti Main Kitni Sachhai Hoti Hai.
If you have fear of some pain or suffering,
you should examine whether there is anything you can do about it.
If you can, there is no need to worry about it;
if you cannot do anything, then there is also no need to worry.
I was lucky to be involved and get to contribute to something that was important, which is empowering people with software.
I was lucky to be involved and get to contribute to something that was important, which is empowering people with software.
Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are.
Every new day is a gift.
But
The longer you wait to open it,
The smaller it gets!
Good Morning!
Wo kahte hain ke saari raat
aap hume sone nahi dete,
hum kehte hai ke aapka noor hee aisa hai
ke aap hamari raat hone he nahi dete
Wada na karo agar nibha na sako
chaho na usko jise tum Pa na sako
Dost to duniya mein bahut hote hai
Par ek khas rakho jiske bina tum muskara na sako.
Wada na karo agar nibha na sako
chaho na usko jise tum Pa na sako
Dost to duniya mein bahut hote hai
Par ek khas rakho jiske bina tum muskara na sako.
GIRLZ OF 2000*
"AGAR TUM MIL JAO ZAMANA CHORD DENGE HUM"
GIRLZ OF 2015*
AGAR TUM MIL JAO PURANA CHOR DENGE HUM..
Koi Humdard Na Tha To Koi Bhi Dard Na Tha...
Achanak Ek Humdard Mila Phir Usi Se Har Dard Mila..
A girl realizes the pain of Break-up
only
when
..
.
.
She has to pay for movie ticket herself..!!
1st frnd to 2 Friend’
“Lay mithai kha!”
2nd Friend: Kis baat ki?
1st frnd:
Teri Bhabhi call centre me job karti hai,
aur usko Best “CALL GIRL” ka Award mila hay!
Amul – The Taste Of India
Babool – The Paste Of India
Rahul Gandhi- The Waste Of India..
Modi- The Best Of India..
Sonia- The Guest Of India..
Rahul Gandhi :
Mom hum is desh ko.kab tak lootenge??
Sonia :‘JAB TAK HAI JAAN’
Rahul Gandhi :Hamari help kaunkarega??
Sonia:‘SON OF SARDAR.
Bush ka “Kutta” bush se roth gaya,
Ja k ganday naley main doob gaya,
Dobtay howay bola ab aur zulm nahin sahain gay,
Ek hi ghar mai 2 2 nahin rahain ga
Har kisi ke liye yun hum wish nahi karte,
Agar hamara msg na aye to ye mat sochna ke,
Hum apko miss nahi karte…
I Love You.
With my 1 heart, 2 eyes, 5 litter blood
206 bones,1.2 million red cells.
60 trillion D.N.A.s..
I wish u very GOOD DAY
Tere Aane Ka Intzaar Kab Tak Kare,
Dil Se Tujhe Bhulane Ka Intzaar Kab Tak Kare,
Pehle Hi Itna Barbaad Kiya Hai Toone Hamein,
Ab Or Barbaad Hone Ka Intzaar Kab Tak Kare.
Obama: Tujhe swiming aati hai.
Lalu: Na
Obama: Tere se to kutta acha hai jo swim kar leta hai.
Lalu: Tumko aata hai
Obama: Yes
Lalu: Sasura fir tohre mein aur Kutta mein farak ka hai.
When you make a mistake, admit it, own up to it, do what you can to fix it and move on.
If you support going green, then go green in your life. If you support your local government, then attend community meetings. Be a part of the things that matter to you.
Put her needs in front of yours. This does not meant that you are weak. It just means that, most of the time, you're willing to bend for her, even if it was not something you wanted to do.
A glass of wine is fine, but try to get to know each other sober. You can always drink on your honeymoon.
Machher aur Makhi Ke Hogai Shaadi
Pehli He Raat Mai Hogai Barbadi
Machher ki to Kismaat He Khoti thi
Makhi Mospell Laga ka Soti thi .
Tere hone par bhi khud ko tanha samjhu..
Tu bewafa hai ya khud ko bewafa samjhu..
Zakhm bhi deti ho phir marham bhi banti ho..
Ye teri aadat hai ya adaa samjhu
Laughter is the best medicine, But if u are laughing without any reason, u need medicine.
Q. What doesn't belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.
Girl- Nice mobile. Where did u buy?
Boy- I won this in a running race.
Girl- How many people participated?
Boy- Mobile owner police and me.
When people hurt you over and over,
think of them like sandpaper.
They may scratch and hurt you a bit,
but in the end..
You end up polished and they end up useless.