STORY
VIDEOS
NON VEG
Wish you and your family a very Happy Christmas and a prosperous New Year.
May you Christmas sparkle with moments of love, laughter and goodwill.
And may the year ahead be full of contentment and Joy
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Lets welcome the year which is fresh
Lets welcome the year which is fresh and new,
Lets cherish each moment it beholds,
Lets celebrate this blissful New year.
Merry X-mas to all
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A silent night
A star above
A blessed gift of hope and love
A blessed Christmas to you!
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Faith makes all things possible,
Hope makes all things work,
Love makes all things beautiful,
May you have all the three for this Christmas.
MERRY CHRISTMAS
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M-ake the most of it.
Christmas is not a time nor a season,
But a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill,
To be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.
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From home to home and heàrt to heàrt,
From one place to ànother,
The wàrmth and joy of Christmàs,
Brings us closer to each other.
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No Greeting Card To Give..
No Sweet Flowers To Send..
No Cute Graphics To Forward..
Just
A LOVING HEART
Saying
"HAPPY X'MAS"
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Teacher: paani m rehne wale 5 janwar k naam batao!??
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Pappu: mendak
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Teacher: 4 aur batao
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Pappu: mendak ki mummy
mendak ka daddy
mendak ki behen
aur uski item
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Kaminey dost Boy:- Agar bo meri nahi hui toh kisi ki nahi hone dunga
Dost:- Aur agar teri hui toh ham sabki hone dega????
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A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean.The lawyer said, "I`m here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.""That`s quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I`m here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."The lawyer puzzedly asked, "How do you start a flood?"
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Santa was coming home after a latenight boozing. He lived alone and locked his house whenever he went out.As he neared his house, he took out his key to open the lock but he could not manage to put the key into the hole. After trying this repeatedly, he was tired.A neighbor who was witnessing the scene took pity on him and said, "Give me the key I will open it for you." Santa looked for a while and said to him, "The lock will be opened by me but do me a favor, please hold the house firmly, while I do the rest. Damn it, it is shaking like a pendulum."
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Banta was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him, if he had anything to say in his defence.
"They should not put up such misleading notices," said Banta."It said, FINE FOR PARKING HERE. "
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At a World Conference, the heads of States of all countries were boasting about their technical know-how. So they all decided that to prove their boasts, each country should show an engineering feat to the world.In a few days, the U.S.A made a hollow tube of fiberglass, a millimeter in diameter. It was then sent to the Russia. They put a conducting wire in the tube. The Japanese, to prove their superiority, bored a hole through the wore.Finally, it was sent to India. It came back without any apparent change."Well, what have you done?" asked everybody."Look here," said the Indian, putting the wire under a microscope. Clearly visible were the words "Made in India."
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The School Inspector asked the class whether he should ask one difficult question, or two simple questions. A clever student told him to ask only one difficult question. The Inspector asked him the place where the first woman was born. The boy answered that it was at the Lady Hardinge Hospital, New Delhi. "How do you know?" the Inspector asked."No second question, please," the boy triumphantly replied.
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Santa Aur Banta Daaru Pee Ke ghar Jaa Rahe The.
Tabhi Santa Chillya: Oye Banta, Deewar... Abe Saamne Dekh Deewar Hai.... MArwayega Kya, Oye! Kar Kya Raha Hai Yaar???? Dekh Aagey Deewar Hai...
Dhadaaaaam! and They Hit The Wall.
The Next day in the hospital Santa asked Banta: Harami, Thukwa Diya Na. Kab Se Keh Raha Tha Deewar Hai, Deewar Hai, Deewar Hai... Saale Sun Hi Nahi Raha Tha. Tujhe Ek Baar Bhi Khayaal Nahin Aaya Ki Gharwale Intezaar Kar Rahe Honge? Gharwalon Aur Bbachchon Per Kya Beetegi? Aur Agar Hum Mar Jaate Toh Gharwalon Ka Kya Hota???? Bol Ab Daarubaaz... Bolta Kyun Nahi Hai Kutte, Sharaabi ???
Banta Karahte Hue: Oye Santa... Gaadi Mein Nahin Tu Chala Raha Tha... Sharaabi, Bevde...!!!
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A husband and a wife were sleeping. Suddenly, a sound of a car screeching was heard outside.
The wife woke up and shouted, "Oh it must be my husband!"
The husband woke up after he hear his wife's words and ran off to hide in a bush outside.
Moments later, the husband came in, angry, "What do you mean 'Oh it must be my husband!' Are you saying you have other men over?"
Wife, "Well, then why did you run away?"
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TO: ALL EMPLOYEESFROM: Human Resources
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their coworkers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will be no longer tolerated.
We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with coworkers. Therefore, a list of TRY SAYING new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees. SO...
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.INSTEAD OF: When the hell do you expect me to do this?
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that is not feasible.INSTEAD OF: No fuckin way!!
TRY SAYING: Really?INSTEAD OF: You've got to be shitting me.
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a shit.
TRY SAYING: Of course I'm concerned.INSTEAD OF: Ask me if I give a shit.
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.INSTEAD OF: It's not my frigging problem.
TRY SAYING: That's interesting.INSTEAD OF: What the hell?!?!
TRY SAYING: I'm not sure I can implement this.INSTEAD OF: Fuck it. It won't work.
TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?
TRY SAYING: Are you sure this is a problem?INSTEAD OF: Who the hell cares?
TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the problem.INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his ass.
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?INSTEAD OF: Eat shit and die.
TRY SAYING: So, you weren't happy with it?INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ass.
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at this moment.INSTEAD OF: Fuck it! I'm on salary.
TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ass!
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?INSTEAD OF: Who the hell died and made you boss?
TRY SAYING: I see.INSTEAD OF: Blow me.
TRY SAYING: Yes, we really should discuss it.INSTEAD OF: Another darned meeting!!!
TRY SAYING: I don't think this will be a problem.INSTEAD OF: I really don't give a shit.
TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.INSTEAD OF: He's a frigging prick.
TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go getter.INSTEAD OF: She's a ball busting bitch.
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the hell you're doing.
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Fred is 34 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"
Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women that I have wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."
His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother."
A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"
With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."
The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"
Fred replied, "My father doesn't like her."
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It was five in the evening, the bank is almost closed. All of a sudden, the BM received a phone call from a lady.
In a sweet voice she said: Sir, I urgently need Rs.50,000.
Her voice was so captivating that the BM could not say no. He instructed his cashier to keep the cash ready and with reluctance he obeyed his boss.
After a while, a dark complexioned lady with ugliest of face came to the bank and presented the cheque. The BM was taken aback, as he was expecting a cute lady. He immediately told the lady that they had already closed the cash for the day and she should come next day.
The cashier was so furious and he asked the BM if his intention was to not to pay why he was made to sit late.
BM: It's the Universal rule of the bankings that........If words and figure differ, payment will be declined.
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An army major to wife, he would be late home because dirty magazines had been found in the barracks, and the soldiers responsible were facing serious disciplinary action.
"The punishment sounds a little harsh," she said. "After all, most of the soldiers have pictures of women on the walls of their quarters."
"No, honey," he explained patiently. "Dirty magazines means the clips from their rifles had not been cleaned properly!"
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If you purchased Rs 1,00,000 of Delta Airlines stock 1 year ago, you would have Rs 4,900 today.
If you purchased Rs 1,00,000 of AIG stock 1 year ago, you would have Rs 3,300 today.
If you purchased Rs 1,00,000 of Lehman Brothers stock 1 year ago, you would have Rs 0.0 today.
But, if you purchased Rs 1,00,000 worth of beer 1 year ago, drank all the beer, returned the aluminum cans for a recycling refund, you would have Rs. 21,400/- !!!
Imagine, the above said returns is just an addition on top of all the entertainment you got by drinking beer (which is not accountable in terms of money).
Think Smart! Cheers!
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One day a Professor was talking about marriage in the class.
Professor: What kind of Wife would you like Pappu?
Pappu: I would want a wife like the moon.
Professor: Wow !!! What a choice... So you want her to be Cool & Calm like the moon?
Pappu: No, no...
Professor: Oh, so you want her to be Round and white?
Pappu: No, no...
Professor: Oh, so you want her to be Fair and Beautiful like the moon?
Pappu: No, no... I want her to be Exactly like The MOON. Just Arrive at Night and Disappear in the Morning.
Professor fainted...
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A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates, Ahead of him is a guy who s dressed in a loud shirt, leather jacket, jeans and wearing sunglasses. Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven." The guy replies, "I m Joe Cohen, taxi-driver, of New York City," Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi-driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."The taxi-driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it s the minister s turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary s for the last forty-three years." Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." "Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a taxi-driver and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be?" "Up here, we work results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept; while he drove, people prayed."
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Global recession and financial crisis have become so critical and serious now-a-days that...The majority of men have started loving their own wives!
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Patient: Doctor Sahab, Jaldi Kuch Karo, Mere Pairon Par Ek Aurat Ne Gaadi Chadha Di.
Doctor Ne Usko Achche Se Check Kiya, Aur Paaya Ki Bahut Hi Mamuli Si Chot Hai, Par Mareez Ghabraya Hua Hai!
Doctor Bola: Oh! Bhai Operation Karna Padega, Bahut Kharcha Aayega... Taiyaar Ho?
Mareez: Kuchh Bhi Karo, Jaldi Karo. Kameeni Ne Mara Hua Soch Kar Uthaya Bhi Nahin!!
Itne Mein Doctor Ki Biwi Ka Phone Aa Gaya.
Doctor: Hellooo...
Biwi: Hello Ko Maro Goli! Main Ek Musibat Mein Phas Gayi Hun, Jaldi Se Koi Raasta Batao.
Doctor: Kaisi Musibat???
Biwi: Maine Car Chalate Hue Ek Aadmi Ko Takkar Maar Di Aur Vo Shayad Mar Gaya Hai.
Doctor: Aadmi Ne Kapde Kaise Pehen Rakhe The?
Biwi: Hari T-shirt Aur Black Pant.
Doctor: Oh! To Us Ko Tumne Maara Hai? Police Khooni Ko Talaash Karti Hui Ghoom Rahi Hai.
Biwi: Toh Ab Mein Kya Karun?
Doctor: Karna Kya Hai... 4-6 Mahine Ke Liye Maikey Chali Jao, Jaldi.
Patni: Theek Hai Jaa Rahi Hoon.
Mareez: Doctor Ji, Karo Na Kuch!
Doctor: Bhai Kuch Nahin Hua Hai Tujhe... Yeh Piase Pakad Aur 4-5 Beer Le Aaa Jaldi Se... Dono Piyenge... Aur Haan, Please Ye Hari T-shirt Nikaal Ke Jaa.
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Police: Aapke Ghar Kee Talaashi Leni Hai !Santa: Kyon ?Police: Khabar Mili hai Ki Aapne Ek Khatarnaak Aatankwadi Ko apne Ghar Mein Rakhaa Hua Hai !Santa: Khabar Toh Ekdum Pakki Hai Inspector Saab... Par Aajkal woh Maayke Gayi Hui Hai !!!
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Ek baar bhagwan neaadmi ki Memory clear
kar dali
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Aur poocha, kuch yaadaa raha hai kya?
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Aadmi- sirf biwi kanaam.........bhagwan hasa aur
bola: ''Format kiya par
abhi tak
virus nahi gaya...
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Ek Bus Mein Ladko Ladkiyo Ki Team Antakshari Khelne K Liye Bani.
Girls:Hum Tumko Haraakar Dikhayenge.
Boys:Hum Haar Gye,Chalo Ab Dikhao..
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Santa Banta Se- Yaar I-m Going Ka Kya Matlab Hota Hai Batao..
Banta - Mai Ja Raha Hu...!
Santa - Are Jate Jate Matlab To Batake Ja..
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Delhi ki sardi, U.P ki garmi, Mumbai ki barish, Patna ka coruption, kashmir ka terrorism, Africa ka saap aur chidiya ghar ke aap.. BAAP RE BAAP!!
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Ladke Wale-Humko Ladki Pasnd H,Shadi Kb Krni H
Ladki Wale-Abhi To Ldki Stdy Kr Rhi H
Ladke Wale-To Humra Ldka Kon Sa Baccha H Jo Kitab Faad Dega
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Sir-Birbal kon tha..
s-pata nehi
sir-parhai p dhaen do pata chal jaega
s-RAajj,gurav,rocky,OR SUraj kon he
sir-pata nehi,
s-bety p dyando pata chll jaega
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1 aadmi ladies ward mi admit ho gaya.. nurse: tujhe sharm nahi aati.. Aadmi:sharm kaisi
hum to paida hi LADIES
ward me hue the
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ATTITUDE
A boy went prposes a Girl:If she saysYes
Boy feels"Pata nhi kitno ko han kaha hoga"
If she sys No,Bandariya Khudko Katrina samajti HAi.
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Bhagwan ke naam pe 1 patni dede.. Apni nahi toh dusre ki dede.. Bhagwan tujhe 1 kay badle3 dega Anurag ki tarah Prerna kay saath Aparna aur komolika free dega
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Aap k chehre par udasi aur aankho me nami hai,
Aapke chehre par udasi aankho me nami hai,
TATA NAMAK istemaal karo aap me iodine ki kami hai..!
LOL
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Girl : Bus karo rat ke 12 baje se kar rahe ho,subha ho gai hai thake nahi kya..
BOY : ye to kuch b nahi he Ab to me din rat karunga q k. Muje 30000sms free he
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Wife- raat ko chor aya tha gar me, or mujhe kiss krke chala gya.
Pati- tumne roka nahi..
Wife- bahut kaha tha rukne k liye, par bola fir aunga,
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Tumhari yad dilse jane nahi denge
Tumhare jaisa dost khone nahi denge
Sharafat se contact me rehna
Warna khub MarengeOr Rone bhi Nahi denge
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Population control systemin Pak....HUM
DO
HAMAARE
DO
Uske baad jitne ho sare mumbai bhej do!
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Hope no girl ever meets Bhola!!
You know why?? read this
Jab Bhola College Mein Tha, To Uske Bholepan Ki Wajah Se Ek Ladki Se Uski Dosti Ho Gayi.
Ek Din Dono Ka Program Bana Ki...Aaj Date Pe Chalte Hai Aur Kahi Dinner Karte Hai.
To Ja Pahunche Ek Badiya Se Hotel Mein, Aur Dinner Karna Shuru Kiya.
Dinner Karte Karte Achanak Bhola Ne Ahista Se Ladki Ko Bola.
Bhola: “Maine Aapko Kuchh Kehna Hai...Aap Naraz To Nahi Ho Jaogi Na ???”
Ladki Sharma Ke: “Nahi Ji, Aap Boliye”
Bhola:
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“Bill Adha Adha Kar Le???“
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It is impossible to lose weight just by eating salads. Ever looked at buffaloes? They eat only grass.
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People drink & smoke for few days & get addicted to it ....! I'm studying since nursery But still not addicted to studying.
This is called 'self control'
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What is a Dad - Dad Quotes
a dad is someone who
wants to catch you before you fall
but instead picks you up,
brushes you off,
and lets you try again.
A dad is someone who wants to keep you from making mistakes
but instead lets you find your own way,
even though his heart breaks in silence when you get hurt.
A dad is someone who holds you when you cry,scolds you when you break the rules,shines with pride when you succeed,and has faith in you even when you fail. .
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Gyan Ganga -
1. Dog road pe ulta pada tha to log uski puja krne lge.... Kyu?? . . kyuki DOG ka ulta is GOD... (Pagal log) . . . . .
2. Mare huye insaan k muh me kya daloge?? . . Birla cement.... Kyuki is cement me jaan hai... . . . . . .
3. Wat is the cube of 13 ?? . . Suroor, coz 13...13...13...= suroor... . . . . .
4. Wat would u call a girl who nevr laughs?? . . "HASI-NAA" . . . . . . .
5. Why a heart broken person doesnt need GK?? . . Coz, jab dil hi toot gaya to GK kya krenge.... . . . . . .
6. Agr 2 pipal k ped(tree) ko rassi se baandh diya jaye to us rassi ko kya kahoge?? . . Nokia - Connecting Ppl...
Bhagwan apko aisi status ko jhelne ki shakti de.
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everybody wants his past forgotten
and his present remembered.
What I don’t like about office Christmas parties
is looking for a job the next day.
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Your friendship is a glowing ember
through the year n each december
from its warm n livin spark
W kindle flame against da dark
n
with its shining radiance light
our tree of faith on Christmas night.
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No Greeting Card To Give..
No Sweet Flowers To Send..
No Cute Graphics To Forward..
Just
A LOVING HEART
Saying
“HAPPY X’MAS” !!
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There is no ideal Christmas; only the one Christmas you decide to make as a reflection of your values, desires, affections, traditions.
Bless us Lord, this Christmas, with quietness of mind; Teach us to be patient and always to be kind.
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