Height Of Batameezi:
Phone Rings..
Tring Tring
Ladka: Hello Chintu Hai ?
Girl: Nahi Hai.
Boy: Mujhe Mauqa Do, Ho Jayega..!!

This guy went to hospital for a circumcision, but because of a mix up, he
ended up having a complete sex change.

All of the doctors and nurses had gathered around his bed as he was waking up
so they could give him the bad news.

Naturally, the poor guy went to pieces and started crying when they explained
what had happened to him.

"Oh no!" he moaned, "this means I'll never be able to experience an erection
ever again!"

"Of course you will," one of the doctors soothed. It'll just have to be
someone else's, that's all." 

A British doctor says, "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can
take a kidney out of one man, put it in another man, and have him looking
for work in six weeks."

A German doctor says, "That's nothing . We can take a lung out of one
person, put it in another man,and have him looking for work in four weeks."

A Russian doctor says, "In my country, medicine is so advanced we take half
a heart out of one person, put it in another man,and have both of them
looking for work in two weeks."

The American doctor, not to be outdone, says, "You guys are way behind us.
We just took a man with no brain out of Texas, put him in the White House,
and now half the country is looking for work. 

A man hasn't been feling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete
checkup.

Afterward the doctor comes out with the results.

"I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and
you don't have much time left."

"Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?"

"Ten," the doctor says sadly.

"Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!"

"Nine..." 

One morning at a doctor's clinic a patient arrives
complaining of serious back pain.
The doctor examines him and asks him:
"Tell me what happened to your back...?"
The patient replies: "Sir, I work fora local night
club. This morning I go to my apartment early and
heard some noise in my bed room. On entering I
knew someone had been with mywife and the
balcony door was open. I rushed out of the
balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked
down from the balcony I saw a man running out
and he was dressing himself. I was very angry,.. I
grabbed the fridge and threw it athim. It was very
heavy... That is how I strained my back....!!!"
Later that day, a second patient arrives as if he has been in a car wreck.
The doctor said: "My previous patient looked
bad,.... But you look terrible..... What the hell
happened to you....??"
He replied: "You know I have beenunemployed for
a while now...., today was the first day at my new
job..... I forgot to set my alarm andI was late,..... I
was running out of the building, getting dressed at
the same time......, and you won't believe it but I
was hit by a fridge...., I don't knowhow and
where from this fridge fall on me...!!!"
Before closing hours, the third patient comes
He looks like he was punished in hell
The doctor is shocked.
He asked: "What is the hell happened to you....??"
The patient replies:
"Well, It started like this: "I was in a fridge.. 

Mohhabat ke raste m har waqt dard milega;
.
.
.
Mohhabat ke raste m har waqt dard milega;
.
.
.
meri mano isi raste par medical store khol lo.......... mast chalega.... 

What is the BEST EXAMPLE of cheating our own brain by any man or women in an convenient way!



The most shocking reply ever








Mesturebate !!!!! 

Dear Ann Landers,

I am a sailor in the New Zealand Navy.

My parents live in the suburb of Seatoun and one of my sisters, who lives in
Palmerston North, is married to an Australian.

My Father and Mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling
marijuana, distribution of Cocaine, as well as Heroin.

They are currently dependent on my two sisters, who are prostitutes in
Auckland.

I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non parole life sentence
in Mt. Eden Prison, Auckland, for the rape & murder of a teenage boy in 1994,
the other currently being
held in the Wellington remand center on charges of incest with his three
children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in
Christchurch and indeed is still a
part time "working girl" in a Brothel, however, her time there is limited as
she has recently been infected with an STD.

We intend to marry as soon as possible and are currently looking into the
possibility of opening our own brothel with my fiancee utilizing her knowledge
of the industry working as the Madam.

I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I
would prefer them not to prostitute
themselves, at least it would get them off the streets and hopefully the
heroin.

My problem is this: I love my fiancee and look forward to bringing her into
the family and of course I want to be totally honest with her.

So, how should I tell her about my brother-in-law being employed by Microsoft? 

How to clean your mouse...

This memo is from an unnamed computer company. It went to all field engineers
about a computer peripheral problem.

The author of this memo was quite serious. The engineers rolled on the floor.

Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit) therefore, if a
mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball
replacement.

Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls
should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.

Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the
underside of the mouse.

Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls.

Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse.

Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop off method.

Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist-off method.

Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive.

However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge.

Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.

It is recommended that each replacer have a pair of spare balls for
maintaining optimum customer satisfaction.

Any customer missing his balls should suspect local personnel of removing
these necessary items. 

Pappu rings a call centre:
My internet is not working properly
Officer:
Ok
Double click on "My computer"
Pappu:
I can't see ur computer
Officer:
No no
click on "My computer" on ur computer
Pappu:
How can I click on ur computer from my
computer?
Officer:
listen
There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on ur
computer
Ok
double click on it
Pappu:
what the hell, what is your computer doing on
my computer..?
Officer:
Double click on ur computer
Pappu:
On which Icon i've to click
Officer:
"My Computer"
Pappu:
Oh Teri......Pagal insaan
Tell me where is ur office. I'll come there and
click on ur "Computer."?? ?? 

Pappu Ek Din Apne Ghar Ki
Tubelight Theek Kar Rha Tha.
.
Usne Awaaz Lagai
.
.
Pappu(biwi Se):- Are Jara Sunti Ho,
Biwi:- Kya Hai?
Pappu:- Are Jara Idhar To Aao
Biwi:- Lo Aa Gayi, Bolo
Pappu:- Ye 2 Taar Hai,
Inme Se Jara Koi Ek Pakad,
Biwi:- Kyu?
Pappu:- Are Jara Pakad To Sahi
Biwi:- Lo Pakad Li Ek Taar
Pappu:- Kuch Nahi Hua?
Biwi:- Nahi
Pappu:- Achha Jaao, Iska Matlab
Current Dusri Taar Me Hai. 

Jindagi Me Aage Badne Se Yun Na Daro,
Wah
Wah
Jindagi Me Aage Badne Se Yun Na Daro.
.
.
.
Daya Jaldi Se Us Gaadi Ka Picha Karo. 

Lady: Rahul Mera Bhai Tha
Daya: Kya? Rahul Tumhara Bhai Tha?
Lady: Haan, Rahul Mera Bhai Tha
Abhijeet: Rahul Sach Me Tumhara
Bhai Tha???
Lady: Ha Sir...wo Mera Bhai Tha
Acp: My God, Iska Matlab, Tum Rahul
Ki Behen Ho .... :P 

Log kuch din cigarette
sharab pite
hai Aur aadat ho jaati
hai,
.
.
(?.?)
<) )>
_/ /_ Hume dekho,
.
.
.
.
. Hum Bachpan se
padhai kar rahe hai,
.
.
par Aaj tak padhai ki
Aadat nahi hui,
.
That's called SELF
CONTROL .

Jungle Mai Cheeta Bidi Pine Wala Tha,
1 Chuha Aaya Aur Bola..
"Bhai, Chhod Do Nasha, Aao Mere Sath,
Dekho Jungle Kitna Khoobsurat Hai !"
Cheeta Chuhe K 7 Chal Diya.
Agey Hathi Drugs Le Raha Tha.
Chuhe Ne Usey Bhi Yehi Sab Kaha,
Haati Bhi 7 Chal Diya.
Agey Sher Whisky Pine Wala Tha.
Chuhe Ne Usey Bhi Kaha.
Sher Ne Glass Rakha Aur
Chuhe Ko 5 Thappd Mare.
Haathi- Kyu Maar Rahe Ho Bechare Ko ?
Sher- Iss Saale Ne Kal Bhi Bhang Pi Ke
Mujhe 3 Ghante Jungle Mai Ghumaya Tha. 

Do Gaanv Ke Bachhe Jinhone Naya Naya Laptop Purchase Kiya Thha, Apas Mein Baatein Kar Rahe Thhe.

Sonu: ?Tuje Apna Laptop Bada Karwana Hai Kya??

Monu: ?Haan Yaar, Par Kaise??

Sonu: ?Ek Kaam Kar, IsMe Se Window Nikalwa Ke Darwaja Fit Karwa Le?..;):D:D 

Pati Patni Ki Ladayi Ho Rahi Thi
Pati Ne Patni Se Puchha: ?Kya Tumne Mujhe Kutta Kaha??
Biwi Ne Koi Jawab Nahi Diya
Pati Ne Fir Se Puchha
Biwi Fir Chupp Rahi
Pati Ne Ek Baar Aur Puchha
Biwi: ?Nahi Kaha Aur Please Ab Bhonkna Band Karo? 

Hv u ever heard about the device that converts ur precious thoughts into speech. .....???
It's called DAARU. .!!!

Hv u ever heard about the device that converts ur precious speech into silence. ..???
It's called. ..... JORU...!!!

23 yr old girl got pregnant.

Mother: (Angrily shouts) "Who was that pig? Call him".

30 min later, a Rolce Royce stops in front of their house.

A matured grey hair man in a very expensive suit steps out.

Man: "I am sorry for the problem. But I can't marry her. If a Girl is born,
I give 2 stores, a villa & 2 millions.

If a Boy is born, I'll give 2 factories & 5 millions.

But in case of Miscarriage, suggest what should I do?"

Mother: FUCK HER AGAIN!! 

My silence doesn't mean that I quit… It simply means that I don’t want to argue with people who just don’t want to understand!!!

Sardar Ke Truck Ke Peechhe Likha Tha

“Chhota Pariwar Sukhi Pariwar”

Aur Uske Neeche..

.

.

Tinu, Minu, Chintu, Chinky, Pinky, Guddu, Guddi, Sonu, Monu,Te Sohan De Papa Di Gaddi…!!!!!

wat wud u call, when the dolls line up for movie tickets.....



barbieque

OM PURI is kidnapped by terrorists
Guess wat vl d rescue mission b called..



&quot;SEV&quot;PURI

Opposite of Rajeswari


Rajes Dont Worry




Opposite of TAJMAHAL




TAJ DONT MAHAL......


No


Socho
Socho


CHAI KA DHABA

I love 2 walk in rain ..coz dan no1 can see me tearz
(Charlie Chaplan)

I love 2 walk in fog coz dan no1 can see i m smoking
(Basheeer Charsi)