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NON VEG
Aaj kal ki muhabbat ki taaqat to dekho..
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Band car ko b hila deti ha
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Usne rat k andhere me
mere hath ki hatheli pe
likha tha apni ungli se
Muje Pyar H Tmse
Jane kesi syahi thi wo
k mitati b nai or dikhti b nhi
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Life is hard, hard is my style
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The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
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Run mad as often as u choose,but do not faint.
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Touching lines by an ex-boyfriend:
Aaj apni girlfriend ki shadi me jaa kar yeh ehsas hua ki,
Khana acha ho to mohabbat bhi feeki lagti hai..!!
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Mene maa se pucha kab tak mere liye
es tarah raato ko jagti rahogi.
Maa ne kaha jab tak tu raaton mein
apni dusri maao se baat karna band nai kar deta.
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Sath Rehte Yuhi Waqt Guzar Jayega,
Dur Hone K Baad Kon Kise Yaad Ayega,
Jee Lo Ye Pal Jab Hum Sath He,
Kal Kya Pata Waqt Kaha Le Jayega..
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Jindgi mein waqt se jyada apna aur paraya koi nahi hota hai,
Waqt apna hota hai to sab apne hote hai,
Aur waqt paraya hota hai to har koi paraya ho jata hai
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80 years ki Age mein SEX pe kuchh bolne ke liye Santa ko kaha gaya..
Santa: Ye Bahut hi Mushkil hai.,
Bilkul Waisa, Jaise RASSI se BILLIARDS Khelna!
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Tez hava ka jhonka aya
Sath me teri khushbu laya
Tab mere dil me khayal aya
Mera dost aaj bhi nahin (No) Nahaya
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A tourist from United States comes to visit India and he sees a sardar. He asked a question to him:
Tourist: Any great men born in this village?
Sardar: No sir, only small babies!!!
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Teacher: Paani mein rehne wale 5 jaanwar ke naam batao?
Kapil: Mendak.
Teacher: 4 aur batao…
Kapil: Mendak ki mummy, uske papa, uski Behan aur Uski Item
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Re-reading some parts of a novel just read..!!
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प्रेमी प्रेमिका से, संगीत में इतनी शक्ति है कि पानी गरम हो सकता है।
प्रेमिका- तुम्हारा गाना सुन कर मेरा खून खौल सकता है, तो पानी क्यों नहीं?
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Teri aankhon ke ye jo pyale hain,
Meri andheri raaton ke ujale hain,
Peeta hoon jaam par jaam tere naam ka,
Hum to sharabi be-sharab wale hain..!!
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Upvas in new style..
Living one day without,
Mobile,Facebook,Electricity,Internet,Whatsapp,Television
Yeh Upvas kar ke dekho Bhagwan darti par aake kehenge
"Bas kar Pagle ab Rulayega kya..
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A Simple fact:
Boys Can Never B
Satisfied With
3 Things In Life:
-Mobile
-Bike
-Girlfriend
Because;
There Is Always
A Better Model
Available In Future ;)
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Ja Rahe Hum marne aj man udas hai
Yaad nai kiya usne jiski muje aas hai Muje
Bhul Gye wo jo sabse khas hai . . . . .
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Chalo ab msg kro upar likha sab bakwaas hai!
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ऐ खुदा हिचकियों में कुछ तो फर्क डालना होता अब कैसे पता करूँ कि कौनसी वाली याद कर रही है
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Jeendagi me apnakirdar eese jio ke parda girne ke bad bhi taliya bajti rahe.
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Log kehte hai ,zindagi 4 din ke hai.Leken agar zindagi 4 din ke hai to test match 5 din ka kaise ho sakta hai.
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Biwi ne Namaz padh kar hath uthaye or dua mangay bagair hi hath neeche kar liye.
Shohar: Ye kya ?
dua mangi ke nai ?
Biwi: Mangne lagi thi k ALLAH apki tamam mushkilen aasan kar day phir socha kahin me hi na mar jaun.
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Tusi Hsde Ho Sanu Hasaan Vaste
Tusi Ronde Ho Saanu Rovan Vaste
Ek War Rus Ke Ta Vekho Sohneyo
Marr Javage Tuhanu Manaan Vaste.
Baisakhi Da Din Hai Khushiya Manan Vaste. Baisakhi Diyan Vadhayia
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Nani (to a kid): Soja DIPLOMA soja! Padosan: diploma kyo bulati ho isse? Nani: Meri ladki College DIPLOMA lene gayi thi, ye leke aa gayi..!...
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Kapil: kitna paisa hua..?
Auto wala: 50 Rs..
Kapil: Ye le 25 Rs
Auto Wala: Ye kya sirf 25 Rs.. ye to cheating hai. .
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Kapil: Cheating kaise..Tu bhi to baith k aaya hai.. to sharing ka paisa kon dega, Tera baap
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Nachle Gaale Hamaare Saath;
Ayi Hai Baisakhi Khushiyon Ke Saath;
Masti Mein Jhoom Aur Kheer-Puri Kha;
Aur Na Kar Tu Duniya Ki Parwa!
Baisakhi Mubarak!
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Sir - Pani mai Rahene Wale 5 Jaanwar ke Naam
Btao?
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Kapil - mendhak
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Sir - 4 aur btao
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Kapil - uski Mummy , Uske papa , uski Bahen
aur Uski Item
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Kuch dino tak ladki ki har baatt mano jayda nahi bus....1 month...phir dkhna ladki tumahra kahna manege.....vo khte ha na tum ladkiyo ko ijaat do vo apne ijaat tumhe dey dege
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“Height of Attitude”
A Sleeping Beggar puts a Notice Board in front of Him..Plz Do Not Make Noise By
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Dropping Coins…!!
Use Currency Notes..!!
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Santa:
yaar maine ek naye detergant se apni underwear dhoyi,
To vo sikud ke chhoti ho gayi.. ab main kya karoon?
Banta:
Simple hai yaar…
Usi detargent se apne hips bhi dho le :-)
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Husband ko Market Jaate hue
Wife ne paise dekar kaha: Kuchh Aisi Cheez Laana jis se main SUNDAR Dikhu…
Husband khud k Liye Whisky ki 2 Bottle Le Aaya..!
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Munna Bhai: Aay circuit, baapu bole to gandhi ji kapde kyu nahi pehantay thay?
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Circuit: Bhai bole toh bapu bhi us time ke Salmaan Khan the !!!
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Bacha maa se –
Mom ye pregnant kya hota hai
Mom ne gusse se dekha toh wo samja ki gusse ko pregnant kehte hai…!!
2nd day bachcha school se aate hue
ek ladki ke upar gir gaya…!!
Ladki ki maa Chilla kar boli :
Ye kya badtameezi hai???
Bacha bola:
Gira teri beti ke upar hoon Aur pregnant tu ho rahi hai..!!
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Usse har choti-choti baaton ke liye salaah-mashwara liya karo. Wo khud ko khoob samajhdaar samjhega aur tum uski isi bewakoofi ka faayda uthakar usse meethi meethi baatein karti rehna.
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Kapil Sharma :Ranbir Aap Movies Banate Ho . .
2-3Mahine Movie Promote Karte Ho . .
Film Hit Ho jati Hai . .
Producer Ko Saare Paise Mil Jaate Hai . .
Aapko Kya Milta Hai ?
BABA JI KA THUULU.
Ranbir : Tumne Yeh Show Shuru Karwaya. . .
Hindustan Ka Number One Show. .
Kya TRP's hai . .
Par Tu Abhi Bhi Gareeb Lag Raha Hai . .
Tujhe Kya Mila???
BABA JI KA THALLU
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Chor pakadne ki machine bani…
USA mein 1 din mein 9 chor pakde gaye
China mein 30
UK mein 50
Pakistan mein 80
Japan mein 90
aur
aur
Bharat mein 1 ghante mein
Machine hi chori ho gayi!
Bolo bharat mata ki jai!!
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Old Lady to Doctor: Mujhe Gas ki problem hai par achhi baat ye hai ki meri gas me na BadBu aati hai na Awaaz
Aap k clinic me bhi 20 baar gas chhod chuki
hu par kisi ko pata nahi chala……
Doctor: Ye Dawa lijiye aur 1 week baad aayiye.
(1 week baad)
Old Lady:Aap ne mujhe kya dawa de di??
Meri gas me ab bhi aawaz nahi aa rahi par bahut Zehrili Badbu aa rahi
hai
Doctor:Good..!Aapki Naak theek ho gayi hai
Ab hum aap k KAAN ka ilaaj karenge
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संता ने बंता से कहा संता: एक ट्रक के पीछे लिखा बहुत ही सुंदर वाक्य लिखा था। बंता: क्या? संता: 'सावधानी हटी, खीर-पूरी बंटी'
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संता- बंता आज के टेस्ट में तुम्हारे कितने नंबर आए हैं? बंता- भइया से बस बीस नंबर कम। संता- भइया के कितने नंबर आए हैं? बंता- बीस।
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uus par kabhi bhi gussa na kare, Hamesha pyaar se hi pesh aaye
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Hamesha unki help ke liye taiyaar rahe.
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आधी रात को एसएमएस कर उन्हें बताएं कि आप उन्हें कितना ‘मिस’ कर रहे हैं।
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प्यार का इजहार करने के लिए उनके बालों को प्यार से सहलाएं।
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आप अपनी गर्लफेंड को अपने परिवार और दोस्तों से मिलवाएं, इससे आपके प्रति उनका विश्वास बढ़ेगा।
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आप की पड़ोसन अगर स्कूल/कॉलेज जाने के लिए निकल रही हो तो आप उनके संग होले और उनसे बात करते हुए आप भी जाये. ऐसा लगातार 3 दिनों तक करे और 4 वां दिन मत जाना, वो 5 वां दिन आपसे जरुर पूछेगी कल क्यों नहीं आये. हो सकता है इस तरह की मुलाकात से आप उसे पटा ही लेंगे.
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Baarish mein couples:
Wow Kitna romantic weather hai…
Aur Singles:
Kya saala, har jagah paani paani, Pura keechad ho gaya!
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Bittu Sharma trolled by Sidhu
Shamaa bani to parwaane bane
Jaam bana to maikhaane bane
Kuchh to khaas baat hai bittu sharma teri family mein…
Warna, yun hi nahin shehar mein Pagalkhaane bane
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Ladki Ko Dil Se Pyar Kro.
Din Rat Uske Bina Marne Jaisi Halat Me Raho.
Badle Me Aapko Kya Milega????
BABAJI KA THULLU....!!!!
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