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ullu ki terha kya dekh rhe ho
sms pura ho gaya …!!
1
Bhai Suna ki kal raat 4 gundo ne aapki kanpati pe gun rakh ke pucha-
-Goli maru
-Ya Gaand?
Aaj aap ko whatsapp pr online dekh ke khushi ho rahi hai..
Good Decision..!!!
1
Teri mohabbat se mujhe inkar nahin
Kaun kehta hai jaan mujhe tujhse pyar nahin
Tujhse vaada hai sath nibhane ka
Par mujhe apni saanson pe aitebar nahin.
1
सुहागरात के समय दूल्हे ने अपनी पत्नी को बाँहों में लेते हुए कहा, ''आज से तुम मेरी प्रेरणा, मेरी साधना और मेरी आशा हो।''
यह सुनकर दुल्हन पल-भर चौंकी और फिर बोली, ''आज से तुम मेरे राहुल, राकेश और अमन हो।''
1
Girl: doctor maine suna hai khelne se motapa kam hota hai..??
Doctor: haan bilkul.
Girl: par mujhe to koi fark nahi pada...!!
Doctor: kaunsa game khelti ho..??
Girl: saanp seedhi
1
लड़की अपनी माँ से: अपने जो बैड दिया है वोह लम्बाई में छोटा है!
माँ: तुम अभी बता रही हो शादी के 6 महीने के बाद?
लड़की: टांगे जो अब सीधी हुई है!
1
Maine bhi badal diya hai zindagi ke usul.Ab jo yad karega vo hi yad rahega.
3
Nachle gaale humare saath
Ayi hai Baisakhi khushiyon ke saath
Masti mein jhoom aur kheer-poore kha
Aur na kar tu duniya ki parwa.
Baisakhi Mubarak Ho!!
1
Ladkiyon se usi topic par baat-chit karo jis me use baat karne me maza aaye, isse wo aapse bahut samay tak baat kar sakti hai. aur aapki Dosti Pyar me bhi badal sakti hai.
1
Agar uske paas gaadi ya bike hai, to use kaho ki tumhe thoda ghumane le jaaye. Kabhi lift maang liya karo. Jhoot-moot ka anand dikhao. Baaton baaton mein use apni mohmaya ke jaal mein fasa lo.
1
Santa:yaar maine ek naye detergant se apni underwear dhoyi,To vo sikud ke chhoti ho gayi.. ab main kya karoon?
Banta:Simple hai yaar…Usi detargent se apne hips bhi dho le
1
Teacher, ladke se: Nalayak, class mein dinbhar ladkiyo ke sath itni baatein kyun karte ho.. ?
.
Ladka: Sir, main gareeb hoon, mere mobile mein whatsapp nahin hai!! 
1
Ladki Se Nasha Hota hai
Ladki Se Nasha Hota hai,
Nashe Se Junoon,
Junun Se Mehnat,
Mehnat Se Padhai,
Padhai Se Career
IsLiye Career Banane K Liye…
Ladki Patana Zaruri hai dost!
1
Unke friends se friendship badayein: Unke khaas khaas friends se aap apni friendship bada lein aur jaanne ki koshish karein ki aisa kua hai jisse aap unke aur bhi kareeb jaa sakti hain.
2
Girl and boy was Chatting on Facebook....
Girl - M very confused about 1 thing from last couple of days ...
BF - Tell me I will give you the answer! !
Girl - What is Baba Ji ka thullu??
Boy - ok ,when you Said me to Buy a Teddy bear for you last monday, what did you get ??
Girl - Nothing
Boy - This is called Baba Ji ka Thullu!
1
Ishq ne insaan ko kya se kya bana diya,
kisi ko kavi kisiko katil bana diya,
do phool ka bozh na utha sakti thi MUMTAZ,
aur SHAHJAHAN ne uspe TAZ MAHAL bana diya.
1
Aapko Miss Karna Meri HOBBY,
Aapka Khyal Rakhna Meri JOB,
Aapko Khush Rakhna Mera SAPNA,
Apke Liye Dua Karna Meri DUTY,
&
Apko Tang Karna
Mera FARZ...
1
Police Wala Apne Bache Se:
Beta: Tumhara Result Acha Nahi Aya Aj Se Tumhara Khelna T.V Dekhna Band.
Bacha: Ye 50 Rs Pakdo Or Is Bat Ko Yahi Daba Do..
1
Tere chehre pe udasi aankhon mein nami hai,
Tere chehre pe udasi aankhon mein nami hai,
TATA namak istemal karo
Kyun ki IODINE ki kami hai.
1
Jaha sar jhuk jaye wahi khuda ka ghar hai,
Jaha nadi mil jaye wahi samundar hai,
Es zindagi mein dard toh sabhi dete hai,
Jo dard ko samajh sake wahi hamdard hai.
1
LOVE v/s DAARU
LOVE-Pagal
DAARU-Mood Fresh
LUV-Nind Nhi
DARU-Mast Nind
LUV-Date K 2000/-
DARU-1 Botel Ke 400/-
LUV-Sbki Suno
DARU-Pi Ke Sunao.
1
डॉक्टर- आपकी बीमारी की असल वजह मेरी समझ में नहीं आ रही, हो सकता है, शराब पीने की वजह से ऐसा हो रहा हो ।
संता- कोई बात नहीं डॉक्टर साहब, जब आपकी उतर जाए तब मैं चेक-अप के लिए दोबारा आ जाऊंगा ।
1
संता: यार...एक बात बता, शादी और फोन में कौन सी बात एक जैसी होती है?
बंता: मुझे नहीं पता, तू ही बता दें।
संता: यही कि शादी में भी कभी-कभी गलत नंबर लग जाता है!
1
संता- बंता आज के टेस्ट में तुम्हारे कितने नंबर आए हैं? बंता- भइया से बस बीस नंबर कम। संता- भइया के कितने नंबर आए हैं? बंता- बीस।
1
Santa:- Nevi Me Job Nikali Hai karoge,
Banta:- Ha-Ha Jarur Kaam Kya Karna Hai.
Banta:- Jab Jahaj Bich Samandar Me Ruk Jaye To Tumhe Piche Se Dhakka Lagana Hoga.
1
अपनी गर्लफ्रेंड की तारीफ करें और बातों-बातों में यह जरूर कहे कि वह खूबसूरत है।
1
Ca Mein Agar Aap Paper Revaluation Ke Liye Dete Hai.
To Aapko Kya Milega?
BABAJI KA THULLU....!!!!
1
Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal my status :P
1
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CHAPPAL chhoti ho jaye toh PAAON mein nahi aati
Wah-Wah
CHAPPAL chhoti ho jaye to PAAON mein nahi aati
Aur GIRLFRND moti ho jaye to BAHON mein nahi aati!
1
Dil me hamare yado ke mele hai,
aap bin ham bahot akele hai,
sab kuchh chhodakar apko sms karte hai,
dekho ham apko kitana miss karte hai…!
1
Chahe Ho Yeh Feeka Ya Gahera
Holi Ka Har Rang Kuchh Kehta
Hai, Gulaal Ka Rang Mujhe
Maloom Nahi, Par Rishto Ka Rang
Pyaara Hota Hai!
1
Apun wishing you a wonderful,
Super-duper,
Zabardast,
Xtra-badhiya,
Xtra special,
Ekdum mast and dhinchak,
Bole to ekdum jhakaas
¢â‚¬Å“Happy Holi¢â‚¬Â.
1
1 ladke ne 1 ladki ko call ki.
boy:i love you jaan
Girl: shacchi..
boy: mucchi...
Girl: to phir 100 ka recharge krva do plzzz............
.
.
.
.
.
.
boy: sorry didi worng number lag gya..............
1
अब मेरा सीधा सवाल केजरीवाल जी से ये है कि मै आज नेट पैक डलवाऊँ या आप कल सुबह से WiFi चालू करवा देगे|
1
A good teacher according to students is 1 who :
-Should Be Absent At Least 3 Times A Week
-Should Come In Class 10mins Late And Left The Class 10 Mins Earlier
-Should Not Give Any Homework And Assignments
-Should Not Ask Any Questions To Students
-Should Not Disturb The Students By Teaching While They Are Talking
53
I love my eyes when you look into them;
I love my name when you say it;
I'll love my heart if you love it;
And I'll love my life if you're in it.
Happy Valentine's Day!
1
1 bar chand pe 1 Makkhi dikhai di.
NASA k officers khus ho gaye-
LIFE ON MOON
LIFE ON MOON
Baad Me pata chala
RAJNIKANT patang uda rha tha..!!!
1
Remember that if she doesn't like the person inside then it's just her loss .
1
In a School function:
A L.K.G boy started closing his EARs with both hands when a girl was about to start her speech..
Others Asked him why r u closing ur ears,
He replied:
Dude,
She is my girl friend..
And she is gonna start her speech wid
"My dear, brothers and sisters.......
1
Grl- wat r u doing?
Boy- i was doing a job with TIMES OF INDIA bt now i left it.
Grl- but why?
Boy- kon sala subah uthe or paper dalne jayega..
1
College ki galyon main ajeeb khel hota hai...
Class k bahanay dilon ka mail hota hai
Notes ke jagah love sale hota hai...
Iss liye to PAPPU her saal fail hota hai
1
Tumko mil jaayega mujhse behtar
Mujhko mil jaaye tumse behtar.
Par kabhi kabhi lagta hai aise
Hum ek doosre ko mil jaate th hota sabse behtar...
1
Dil ke dard ko zuban par laate nahi,
Hum apni aankhon se ansu bahate nahi,
Zakhm chahe kitne hi gahre kyon na ho,
Hum Detol ke siva kuch laagate nahi.
1
Mohabbat Hai K Nafrat Hai,
Koi Itna Tou Samjhaye
Kabhi Main Dil Se Ladti Hon
Kabhi Dil Mujh Se Ladta Hai…!!
1
Mere Dost Tum Bhi Likha Karo Shayari;
Tumhara Bhi Meri Tarah Naam Ho Jayega;
Jab Tum Par Bhi Padenge Ande Aur Tamatar;
To Shaam Ki Sabji Ka Intajaam Ho Jayega!
1
Socha kisi apne se bat kare,
Apne kisi khas ko yad kare,
Kiya jo faisla,
SANKRANT ki shubkamnaye dene ka,
dil ne Kaha kyu na Apse shuruwat kare.
HAPPY SANKRANT!
Makar Sakranti hindi Message
1
Thand Ki Ek Subah Padega Hume
Nahana Kyuki Sankranti Ka Parv
Kar Dega Mausam Suhana, Kahi
Patang Kahi Dahi Chura Kahi
Khichdi Sab Kuch Ka Hai Mil Kar
Khushi Manana. Happy Sakranti.
1
Santa was looking at wanted poster and was wondering :-
"SALA..!! wanted tha, tho fotu khichne ke baaad usko jane kyu diya!?!!"
1
Banta: Chaku Kyo Ubaal Rahe Ho?
Santa: Suicide Karne Ke Liye.
Banta: Phir Ubaalne Ki Kya Zarurat?
Santa: Kahi Infection Na Ho Jaye.
1