Jab Us Khuda Nein Tumhe Banaaya Hoga,
Uske Dil Me Bhee Sukoon Aayaa Hogaa,
Usne Socha Hoga Ki Tumhe Apnee Loo,
Magar Phir Use Meraa Khayaal Ayaa Hoga.
Banta: Tumhari Shaadi Judwa Behen Mein Kisi Ek Se Ho Gayi
To Tum Apni Biwi Ko Kaise Pehchanoge,
Santa: Sharmayi To Saali Aur Chillayi To Gharwali
Na Din mai Light.Na Raat mai Light.
Wa wa wa
Na Din mai Light. Na Raat mai Light.
phir bhi hm apko kehte hai.
Sweet Dreams
Teacher To Papu : Tumne Home work Q Nahi Kiya.
Deadly Answr Given By,
Papu: Sir Kyuki Hum To Hostel Me Rahte Hai.
Santa Ne Kachha Dho Ke
Padosan Ki Shalvar K Paas Sukhne Daal Diya,
Aur Awaz Di Bhabi Ji,
Jab Tum Salvar Utarogi To Mujhe Awaz De Dena
Mai Bhi Kachha Utar Lunga.
Master: 2 Mein Se 2 Gaye To Kitne Rahe?
Pappu: Samjh Mein Nahi Ayaa Masterji.
Master: Beta Tumare Pas 2 Roti hai,
Tumne 2 Roti Khali, Tumare Paas Kya Bacha.
Pappu: Sabji.
Sone Ki Zameen Hoti.
Chandi Ka Aasman Hota.
Ya Khuda Kitna Khush Naseeb Hota Wo Pal.
Jis Pal Unka Didar Hota Hai.
Bhol K Bhi Kisiko Na Rulana,
Zindgi May Sabko Hasana,
Dushman Ko Bhi Galay Lagana,
Phir Bhi Koi Ghum De To,
Police Station Lay Aana..
Santa Te Lips Jale Hu The Banta : Kaise Jale
Santa : Wife Ko Raliway Station Droop Karne Gaya Tha.
Banta : Toh ?
Santa : Kushi Ka Mare Train Ke Engine Ko Choom Liya
Aapki Nayi Subah Itni Sayani Ho Jaye,
Dukhon Ki Sari Batein Aapki Purani Ho Jaye,
De jaye Itni Khushiya Ye Din,
Ki Khushi Bhi Aapki Muskurahat Ki Diwaani Ho Jaye.
Pani Dekh Pyaas Lagti Hai,
Shadi Dekh Kar Hume Bhi Aas Dikhti Hai,
Hum logo Kaise Samjhaye..
Ki Jar Zakkas Ladki Ki MAA Hume Apni SAAS Lagti Hai.
Girl: I Love YOU Dear.
Boy: Differnt Style Me Propos Karo Na
Girl: Teri Laash ko Aag Lgane Ka,
Chance Mere Bete Ko Dega Ki nhi.
Baar baar zindagi ko aazmaya hai hamne,
Har pal har lamha sirf gham paya hai humne,
Dil ke tukde usi ne kiye hai hamare,
Dil ki gehraiyon mein jise basaya hai hamne.
Suraj paas ho na ho roshni aas paas rehti hai,
Dost paas ho na ho, dosti aas paas rehti hai,
Waise hi aap paas ho na ho aapki,
Yaadein hamesha paas rehti hain.
Hamne socha tha har mod par tumhara saath denge,
Hamne socha tha har mod par tumhara saath denge,
Par kya karein kambakhat sadak hi seedhi nikli.
Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai,
To sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo.
Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega,
Par mere baap ka bigad jayega.
Kalam thi hath mai likhna sikhaya aapne,
Takat thi hath mai hosla dilaya aapne,
Manzil thi samne rasta dikhaya aapne,
Hum to sirf dost the, Aashiq banaya aapne.
May the good times and treasures of the present,
Become the golden memories of tomorrow.
Wish you lots of love, joy and happiness.
MARRY CHRISTMAS
Plan to arrive on time or a few minutes early.
Late arrival for a job interview is never excusable.
Santa aur banta k bich mai fight ho rahi thi.
Banta: Saale mai tere kapde phaad k tujhe naanga kar doonga.
Santa: Dekh serious ladai mai romantic baat mat kar.
Agar app ek hi class me study karte hai toh app uski help kar sakte hai study me. App uske liye notes bana sakte hai jisse wo apke orh karib aa jayegi orh jabbhi use study me problem hogi toh wo apko hi yaad karegi.
Halaat keh rahe hain,
Wo yaad nahi karenge ab.
Umeed keh rahi hai,
Bss thoda intejaar aur kar.
Laafzo me kya taarif karun aapki,
Aap lafzo me kaise sama paaoge,
Jab log hamare baare me puchenege,
Meri aankho me jaanemaan sirf tum nazar aaoge.
Dosti ka shukriya kuch is trah ada karu,
Aap bhul bhi jao to main yaad karu,
Dosti ne bas itna sikhaya hai muze,
Ke khud se pahle apke liye dua karu.
Teacher: Dhobi ka kutta na ghar ka na ghat ka.
Ab aisa 1 aur sentence banao.
Student: Sania ka baccha na india ka na pakistan ka.
Teacher: Galti hone pe maafi magne wale ko kya kahte hai?
Stud: Samajhdar
Teacher: Aur galti na hone pe bhi mafi mangne waale ko kya kahte hai?
Stud: BOYFRIEND
Patni: Jab Tum Desi Pite ho Mujhe Pari Kehte ho.
Beer pite ho to Darling
par aj Bhutni kyu?
Pati:aj: Maine Sprite Piya hai,
'Seedhi Baat no Bakhwash'
1 ladka achanak ladki ko dekh kar bola-
lafz tere geet mere, gazal koi sunau kya ?
Ladki-Haath mere gaal tere, kaan k niche bajau kya ?
Ghajini Dekhne k Bad Andaza Hua k
Hum Bhi Amir Khan Se kum Nhi Hai
Hum Bhi Padhta Hay Samajhty hain
Phir 15 Min Bad sab Bhool Jaate hain.
Uncle: What do You do Son...?
Boy: Naari Samman Sewa ke Liye Kaam Karta Hoon
Uncle: Achcha to Social Worker ho
Son: No uncle, Facebook Par Ladkiyon ki Photo Like Karta Hoon.
Ladkiya Aapas Mein Gale Milte Waqt Kya Sochti Hai?
Iss Ke Toh Mujh Se Bhi Jyada Bade Bade Ho Gaye Hai.
Pata Nahi Kaun Sa Shampoo Use Karti Hai.
Rajnikant mom: Beta Rajni ye solar heater pani garam nhi kr raha kuch kar.
Rajnikanta: Yanna rascala tum ruko maa mein suraj ko thik karke aata hu.
SANTA: Maine apni beti ka shaadi sirf 1500rs mein kiya.
BANTA: Woh kaise?
SANTA: Maine use 1500 ka ek mobile dilaaya, usne love marriage karliy.
Suhagraat Ke Baad:
Pati: Tujhe Raat Ko Zyada Dard Ya Takleef To Nahi Hui na?
Patni: Nahi, Bahut Maza Aaya, Dard to Tab Hota Tha Jab Mai School Mein Thi.
MAA: Beta Apple Khaoge,
BETA: Nahi.
MAA: Beta Mengo Khaoge,
BETA: Nahi.
MAA: Beta Orange Khaoge,
BETA: Nahi.
MAA: Bilkul Baap Par Gaya Hai Chappal Hi Khayega.
Girlfriend: I do not think it is working out. Our relationship is dead.
IT Guy: Ek baar restart karke to dekh le.
Khushboo Bankar Teri Saanso Mein Sama Jayenge,
Sukun Bankar Tere Dil Mein Utar Jayenge,
Mehsus Karne Ki Koshish To Kijiye,
Dur Rahte Hue Bhi Pass Najar Aayenge.
I have all the knowledge you have. But I am small as your fist that your hands can hold me. Who am I?
Answer: I'm your brain!
Yaadon Me Humari Aap Bhi Khoye Honge
Khuli Aankho Se Kbhi Aap Bhi Soye Honge.
Mana Hasna Hain Adaa Gam Chhupane Ki
Par Haste Haste Kabhi Aap Bhi Roye Honge.
GIRLZ OF 1995,
AGAR TUM MIL JAO ZAMANA CHOIR DENGE HUM.
GIRLZ OF 2015,
AGAR TUM MIL JAO PURANA CHOR DENGE HUM.
शत्रु के साथ आपको शांति अगर चाहिए, तो आपको अपने शत्रु के साथ काम करना होगा। फिर वह आपका साथी बन जाएगा।
आप किसी व्यक्ति से जिस भाषा को वह समझता हो उसमें बात करें तो बात उसकी समझ में आती है।
लेकिन आप अगर उससे उसकी मातृभाषा में बात करें तो वह उसके दिल में जाती है।