Bacchi Papa Se Gussa Hokar Ghar K Bahar Baithi Thi
Maa:Kya Hua?
Bacchi:Aapke Husband K Saath Meri Banti Nahi
Mujhe Mera Husband Chahiye.
Patient: Doctor! Mujhe Aisi Dava Dijiye Ki Marne Ke Baad Main Fir se Zinda ho Jaau..
Doctor: Ye Tel. No. lo. Ye Ekta Kapoor Ka no. Hai, is Pe Contact karo..
Kuch dino tak ladki ki har baatt mano,
Jayda nahi bus 1 month phir dkhna ladki tumahra kahna manege,
Vo khte ha na tum ladkiyo ko ijaat do vo apne ijaat tumhe dey dege.
Pyar vo jo aapke jajbat ko samjhe,
Mohbt vo jo aapke ehsas ko samjhe.
Mil to jaate h sub apna kahane wale,
Par apna vo jo bina kahe aapki hr baat ko samjhe.
3 best jokes of college life:
1.Don’t disturb me, I want to study.
2.No class, lets go to library
And the biggest one.
3.Sir, I have a doubt.
Auto driver ki seat ke piche,
Bahut mast lines likhi thi couples k liye,
Bharat ki Sanskriti me sab kuch bikta hai,
Izzat se baithe,
Aaine me sab kuch dikhta hai.
Tu MerI DostI Par Ek Ehsaan Kar,
Apne Sare Gum Tu Mere Naam Kar,
Jo Lamhe Rulate HaI TuJhe Yaad Ban Kar,
Wo Aansu MerI NaZro K Naam Kar.
Sabziwala Sabzi Par Paani Chhidak Raha Tha, kaafi Der ho Gayi .
Customefr gusse mein bola:
Bhaisahab Agar Bhindi ko Hosh Aa Gaya ho to Ek kilo de do...
Malik: Maine tujhe machcher marne ko kaha abhi tak tune mare nahi.
Woh ab bhi gun guna kar rahe hai.
Alsi nokar: Malik machcher toh maine maar diye. Yeh toh unki bibi hai jo vidhva ho kar ro rahi hai.
Teacher: Agar Tum tumari GF Ko 500 Do, aur Usko sirf 200 Ki Zarurat Ho To, Wo Kitne Wapas Degi?
Student: Kuchh Bhi Nahi.
Teacher: Kya Tum Itni si bhi Maths Nahi Jante?
Student: Sir, Aap meri gf Ko Nai Jante.
Get closer. Then break eye contact just long enough to glance down at his lips. It's a subtle cue that you're open to a kiss.
Khushi itni ho ki aap dikha sako,
Gum bas itna ho ki aap chupa sako,
Zindagi me 1 Dost aisa rakna,
Jiske liye aap mood off me bhi muskura sako.
Dosti ke riste bhaut lambe hote he,
pata ni kaha tak chalege,
do kadam tum chalna,
do kadam hum chalenge.
Bad me auto kar lenge.
When some one loves you,
You don’t realize it,
When you realize it, its too late,
You always love the one who leaves you,
And leave the one who loves you.
Kapil: Agar Bhagwan tumhari ek ichchha poori kare, to woh kya hogi?
Sumona: Ki aap aur main 7 janam saath rahein.
Sumona: Aur aap kya mangoge?
Kapil: Yeh mera satwa janam ho.
Kami hai es duniya me aise logon ki,
Kisi ki parwah jo kiya karte hai.
Ahsaan hai apka mujpar,
Jo aap meri dosti ki kadar kiya karte hai.
Dost Ko Dost Ka Ishara Yad Reheta Hai,
Har Dost Ko Apna Dostana Yad Reheta Hai,
Kuch Pal Sachhe Dost K Sath To Gujaro,
Wo Afsana Maut Tak Yaad Reheta Hai.
Ladka Aur Ladki PED Ke Pichhe Baithe The.
OLDMAN: Beta Kya Yahi Humari SANSKRITI Hai.
BOY: Nahi Uncle Ye To ANJLI Hai.
Aap Kisi Aur PED Ke Pichhe Dekh Lo.
How To kill a Girl ?
Give her a beautiful dress.
Nice jewelery.
Costly cosmetics.
Then lock her in a room without a mirror.
Tadap Tadap kar mar jayegi.
I can’t promise to slove all your problems,
i can only promise that i’ll never let you
face them ALONE….
Girl- Ye pyar kaise hota h?
Boy-Jab time kharab chal raha ho,
Shani ki dsha kharab ho,
Apka mangal bhari ho or
Bhagwan maza lene k mud me ho
Tb pyr ho jata hai.
Abhi parents ko sochna padega ki..
baccheko chai ki dukan pe bhejke modi banana hai ya..
IIT me bhejke kejriwal.
Ab udas hona bhi achha lagta hai,
Kisi ke pass na hona bhi achha lagta hai,
Me dur rehkar bhi kisi ki yaado me hu,
Yeh ehsas hona bhi achha lagta hai
Dil ka dard dil me rakha,
koi na mila jis pe duniya luta dete,
sab ne diya dhoka humien,
kis kis ko hum saza suna dete.
Mom: Kya khayega?
Me: Aloo hai?
Mom: No
Me: Paneer?
Mom: No
Me: Chicken?
Mom: No
Me: Eggs?
Mom: nahi.
Me: Tala hai?
Mom: yes
Me: Kitchen pe laga do..
Recent sex survey report : 10% of girls say "b quick it pains" 10% Say "speed is not enough" & the rest 80% say "quick, my husband may come home anytime!
Sari duniye se chhupa kar teri tasveer bathroom me laga rakh khi hai..
Aur har ghadi tera deedar ho isliye julaab ki goliyan kha rakh khi hai..
Don’t build up a wall to “protect” your feelings. Let yourself feel, let yourself care for people.
Haqiqat Mohabbat Ki Judaai Hoti Hai,
Kabhi Kabhi Pyar Main Bewafai Hoti Hai,
Humari Taraf Haath Badhaa Kar Toh Dekh,
Dosti Main Kitni Sachhai Hoti Hai.
When you are with someone, be with them. Phones are an amazing piece of technology. But they are also a distraction. Use your phone when it’s appropriate. You don’t need it out every second of every day.
Boy to a girl on Facebook
Boy:- Hi
Girl:- I have a boyfriend
Boy:- Hi bola sirf 'Hi' ......
Chaddi nikaal ke choot dikhane ko nahi bola..
Jab kabhi mausam mein khushbu bikhar jaye,
Jab kabhi chandni mein raat bikhar jaye,
Jab kabhi bewajah hi dhadkanein machal jaye,
to samajhna ki hamne apko yaad kiya. …
Aaj Bhi Mere Dil Me Woh Basti Hai,
Aaj Bhi Mujhe Sapno Me Woh Dikhti Hai,
Kya Hua Ab Hum Door Hai Ek-Dusre Se Par,
Aaj Bhi Meri Saanse Unki Dhadkan Sunn K Chalti Hai.
Girl to riksha wala :Q bhai jaye ga ?
Riksha Wala : Zaroor Jaye ga, abhi abhi to oil laga kar khada kia hai
Girl : to phir Ghuma kar peechay le lo.
A Good Teacher Is Who Tells To Study Hard...
But,, A Best Teacher Is Who Stands Outside The Examination Hall N Shouts.
"OYE CHECKING WALE AA GAYE APNI APNI PARCHI CHUPA LO .