STORY
VIDEOS
NON VEG
Rajinikanth's house has no doors,
only walls that he walks through.
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Rajinikanth is a weapon created by
God to use on doomsday to end the world.
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Rajinikanth is a champion in the game
"Hide n' seek" as no one can hide from Rajinikanth.
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Thank God Kolavari Di was Sung by Rajnikant's Son-in-LawIf Rajni himself would have
Sungit thenit would have been declared
as National Anthem!!..;-):-D
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Rajnikant & A Girl were
Playing Cards (Teen Patti),
Rajnikant had 3 Ekkas (AAA)
But cud not win, Why?
Bcoz the Girl had 3 Rajnikants.
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Cant beat this one-
Rajnikanth's dog's house
Has a signboard on it, saying..
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Maalik Se Sawdhan. :p
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RAJNI VS. BAPU
RAJNI:Mai ek jump maru to
Chand par aur dusre jump me suraj par
Pahuch sakta hu tum kya kar sakte ho.
BAPU:"AAPDE EVA VANDRA VEDA NATHI KARTA"
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Recently There Was A Fight Between,
Rajnikant And A Tiger,
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Surprise,
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Surprise,
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Rajnikanth Ran Away From There, Why??
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To Save The Tiger, Only 1400 Are Left
Otherwise U Know Rajnikant
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Do U Know Why The Sun Moves
Towards North In Uttarayana?
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Usko Dar Lagta Hai K South Main
Rajnikant Patang Udata Hoga
Kahi Kat Na Jau.
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Log Kehtay Hain K Khuda Ne Aapko Badi Fursat Mein Banaya Hai...
"Simple C Baat Hai, Faltu Kaam Fursat Mein Hi To Kiye Jate Hain".
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Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,
Teri Girl Friend Gaye Bazar,
Us Ko Mil Gaya MAJNO Ka Pyar,
Ab Tu Beth Ker Makhiyan Maaar..
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Wo kehti hy usy barish se mhbt hy,
Magr jb barish hoti hy to chat se nichy a jati hy,
Wo Kehti hy usy phool se mhbt hy,
Magr jb phool khilta hy to use tor leti hy,
Wo kehti hy usy hawa se mhbt hy,
Magr jb me hawa chorun to wo bhag jati he
Moral:
wo bohot kamini he ek bat per kayem nai rehti.
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I asked God for a Flower, He gave me a garden
I asked for a tree He gave me a forest,
I asked for a river He gave me an ocean,
I asked for an angel He gave me you.
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Loving you could take my life,
but when I look into your eyes,
I know you're worth that sacrafice!
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Keeping a place for me in ur heart is ok,
but keeping a place for me in your mind might
be dangerous because people say...
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If u see some one without a smile,
give him one of urns, coz u r among a few good
people who can shine others lives by
just walking with him a few miles.
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If u see some one without a smile,
give him one of urns, coz u r among a few good
people who can shine others lives by
just walking with him a few miles.
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Too many stars in the sky,
too many tears that have left my eyes.
Too many girls out in the blue,
but they are nothing compared to you!
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Hello!! What's wrong with your mobile?
Tried so many times but Every time I call it says:
The subscriber your are trying to reach is in your heart!
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Plz Yaroo Boht Ho Gya
Apni Apni Girlfrnd Ko Smjhalo
Mje Phon Kr K Kehti Hy K Aj Se 16 Din Bad Hmare Sath Date Pr Chlo.
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I know you think I"m cute,
I know you think I"m fine,
but like the other guys,
take a number and wait in line!
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Are you a mum? I am not a dad!
Maybe you could help me with that!
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Rahul gandhi : mom,aapki wajah se meri shaadi nahi ho paa rahi.
Sonia gandhi : kyon beta ?
Rahul gandhi : har taraf to likha hai ki sonia ko bahumat (bahu mat ) do.
2
A dentist ran out of anaesthetic just before the last extraction for the day
was scheduled.
He gave the nurse a very large needle, instructing her to jab it hard into the
patient's butt when the signal was given, so it would take his attention away
from the tooth extraction.
It all happened in an instant.
The nurse, patient, and pliers were in place. The signal was given, and the
nurse bayoneted the patient with the needle just as the dentist yanked the
tooth.
Afterwards, the dentist asked, "Hurt much?"
The patient hesitated, "Didn't hardly feel it come out. And, man, those roots
were really deep!"
1
A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago.
"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us
sitting here, years ago.
Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realises the
germs in our drinking water.
But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all eat it.
Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I'm referring to?"
"You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea."
The man lowered his head and said, "Wedding cake."
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A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to
promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated."
"And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?"
The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the
Internal Revenue Service and write on the envelope, "Now you have everything."
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Doctor: Well, I have good news and bad news.
Patient: Go with the good news first.
Doctor: You have 24 hours to live.
Patient: What?! How about the bad news?
Doctor: I forgot to call you yesterday.
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A woman went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor.
Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out an outrageous
yell."
"My dear," the doctor said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the
problem is."
"The problem is," she complained, "he keeps waking me up!"
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Father: (at hospital looking through glass at newly arrived babies)
"Kitchy kitchy koo. Look, she smiled...
isn't she adorable?"
Friend: "But your kid didn't smile."
Father: "I was talking about the nurse."
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"I'll tell you," he said, "I've learned that arthritis is the cruellest
disease."
"Crueller than cancer?" his friend asked.
"You bet," the first codger replied, "It makes every single one of your joints
stiff, except the right one."
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A 70-year-old man goes to the doctor's for a physical.
The doctor runs some tests and says to the man, "Well, everything seems to be
in top condition physically, but what about mentally? How is your connection
with God?"
And the man says, "Oh me and God? We're tight. We have a real bond, he's good
to me. Every night when I have to get up to go to the bathroom, he turns on
the light for me, and then, when I leave, he turns it back off."
Well, upon hearing this the doctor was astonished.
He called the man's wife and said, "I'd like to speak to you about your
husband's connection with God. He claims that every night when he needs to use
the restroom, God turns on the light for him and turns it off for him again
when he leaves. Is this true?"
And she says, "That idiot, he's been peeing in the refrigerator!"
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Solid Beijjati:
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Ek Doctor ne naya clinic khola.
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Thodi daer bad ek Aadmi aaya.
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Doctor ne apne aap ko busy show karne
k liye, telephone ka receiver uthaya aur
appointment denay k andaz me bolne
laga.
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Fir phone rakne k baad...
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Doctor Aadmi se: Haan bataiye kya
hua?
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Aadmi: Bsnl se aaya hun, telephone
activate karne k liye
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Doctor ki shaadi
Kuch iss tarah se
Honi chahiye,
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Ke lage ki doctor ki
Shaadi hain.
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Baarat ambulance
Mein jaaye...
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Shaadi hospital
Mein ho...!!
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Photo ki jagah X- Ray liya jaaye...
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Aur khaane mein
Vitamin - C ki goli
Di jaaye...!!
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Mehmaano ko
Chai yaa cold drink
Ki jagah GLUCOSE & ORS diya
jaaye...!!
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Dulhe ke galle mein Haar ki jagah
"Stethscop"
Lagaaya jaaye...!!
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Aur Maza toh tab aaye Jab Doctor
Shadi ke baad bole
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"NEXT PLZ".!.
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Arz hai-roz roz weight napkar kya karna hai,
ek din to sabne marna hai,
char din ki hai zindagi,
kha lo jee bhar ke,
agle janam to phir 3 kilo se hi start karna hai..
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Doctor ki Shadi is tarha honi chahiye
k Doctor hi ki shadi nazar aye,
Ubtan ki jaga
Polyfax
Aur
Maihndi ki jaga
Iodex istimal ki jaye,
Barat
Ambulance me aye
Or
Nikah Hospital me ho,
Tasveeron ki jaga X-Ray liya jaye
Or
Kya khoob ho agar khanay me
Vitamin C or B k tablets hon,
Mehmanon ko tea ya cold Drinks ki jaga
O.R.S diya jaye
Or
Dulhey k galay
me haar ki jaga Stethoscope
Latkaya jaye
Or
Maza to jab aye k
Doctor nikah k baad bole:
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NEXT.:-D
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Aik Doctor ne aik admi ki memory wash kr di
Doctor: kuch yad aya
mariz: biwi ka nam
doc: sara kuch format ho gaya magar virus nai gaya
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A Doctor opened a clinic & wrote
outside the clinic:
Any treatment in Rs.300/- & if we cant treat, we will pay you back Rs.1000/-.
A CLEVER Man comes to do fraud & thinking to get Rs.1000.
He says to the Doctor:
I cant feel any taste on my tongue...
Doctor asks the Nurse to put few
drops of medicine from box no 22.
After that the MAN shouts: "What d _____ ...its URINE!!
The doctor says congratulations your sense of taste is back now.
The MAN was angry as he lost Rs.300.
After 2 weeks MAN comes back again & this time he thinks to get back his previous 300 too.
MAN: Doc! I've lost my memory.
Doctor: Nurse! pls put some drops of medicine from Box no 22 on his tongue.
MAN : Wait doctor but that medicine is for sense of taste.
Doctor: Congratulations your memory is back.
Moral: Don't try to be over-smart with Doctors...
Bilkul Latest sidha Hospital se .....
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Psychiatrist to his patients (Rakesh)
Rakesh can you give me the example by which a man or a woman can cheat his or her own brain in the best convenient way???
Shocking reply by the patients!!!!
Mesturebate...
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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
Teach him to use the Internet, and he won'tv bother you for weeks!
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There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a
great writer.
When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole
world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level,
stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
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In Heaven:
The cooks are French,
The policemen are English,
The mechanics are German,
The lovers are Italian,
The bankers are Swiss.
In Hell:
The cooks are English,
The policemen are German,
The mechanics are French,
The lovers are Swiss,
The bankers are Italian.
In Computer Heaven:
The management is from Intel,
The design and construction is done by Apple,
The marketing is done by Microsoft,
IBM provides the support,
Gateway determines the pricing.
In Computer Hell:
The management is from Apple,
Microsoft does design and construction,
IBM handles the marketing,
The support is from Gateway,
Intel sets the price.
1
Never leave diskettes in the drive, as the data can leak out of the disk and
corrode the inner mechanics of the drive.
Diskettes should be rolled up and stored in pencil holders.
Diskettes should be cleaned and waxed once a week. Microscopic metal particles
may be removed by waving a powerful magnet over the surface of the disk. Any
stubborn metal shavings can be removed with scouring powder and steel wool.
When waxing a diskette, make sure the surface is even. This will allow the
diskette to spin faster, resulting in better access time.
Do not fold diskettes unless they do not fit into the drive. "Big" Diskettes
may be folded and used in "Little" drives.
Never insert a diskette into the drive upside down. The data can fall off the
surface of the disk and jam the intricate mechanics of the drive.
Diskettes cannot be backed up by running them through a photo copy machine. If
your data is going to need to be backed up, simply insert TWO diskettes into
your drive. Whenever you update a document, the data will be written onto both
disks.
A handy tip for more legible backup copies: Keep a container of iron filings
at your desk. When you need to make two copies, sprinkle iron filings
liberally between the diskettes before inserting them into the drive.
Diskettes should not be removed or inserted from the drive while the red light
is on or flashing. Doing so could result in smeared or possibly unreadable
text.
Occasionally, the red light remains flashing in what is known as a "hung" or
"hooked" state. If your system is hooking, you will probably need to insert a
few coins before being allowed to access the slot.
If your diskette is full and needs more storage space, remove the disk from
the drive and shake vigorously for two minutes.
This will pack the data enough (data compression) to allow for more storage.
Be sure to cover all openings with scotch tape to prevent loss of data.
Data access time may be greatly improved by cutting more holes in the diskette
jacket. This will provide more simultaneous access points to the disk.
Periodically spray diskettes with insecticide to prevent system bugs from
spreading.
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When Bill Gates died, he went up to Heaven, where Saint Peter showed him to
his house, a beautiful 20 room house, with grounds and a tennis court.
Bill Gates was pleased, and spent many months enjoying the amenities of
Heaven.
One day, he was enjoying one of Heaven's many fine parks, when he ran into a
man dressed in a fine tailored suit.
"That is a nice suit, my friend," said Gates. "Where did you get it?"
"Actually," the man replied, "I was given a hundred of these when I got here.
I've been treated really well. I got a mansion on a hill overlooking a
beautiful hill, with a huge five-hundred acre estate, a golf course, and three
Rolls Royces."
"Were you a Pope, or a doctor healing the sick?" asked Gates.
"No," said his new friend, "Actually, I was the captain of the Titanic."
Hearing this made Gates so angry that he immediately stalked off to find St.
Peter.
Cornering Peter, he told him about the man he had just met, saying, "How could
you give me a paltry new house, while you're showering new cars, a mansion,
and fine suits on the Captain of the Titanic? I invented the Windows operating
system! Why does he deserve better??!"
"Yes, but we use Windows," replied Peter, "and the Titanic only crashed once."
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Helpdesk guy speaking to a lady user...
Helpdesk: double click on "my computer".
Lady: i cant see your computer...
Helpdesk: No..click on "my computer" on your computer.
Lady: How da hell can i click on ur computer from my computer???!!
Helpdesk: there is an icon labelled "My computer" on your computer..double clik on it...
Lady: wat da hell is ur computer doin on my computer ?!!!
1
Computer Engineering Field Ki
Larki,
Ko
Kisi ladke ne cheda, uska ghussa
aise
nikla
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Pedaishi Error,
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Virus k Bachey,
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Excel ki currupt file
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1 Click Marungi to Zameen Se
Delete
Ho k
Qabar Me Install Ho Jayega.!
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Waitr:10 Rupy Tip To Meri Insult Hai
Pathan:To Phir?
Waitr:20 Rupy To Dain!
Pthan:Nahi Yara Ham Tumhara Double Insult Nai Kar Sakta
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Ek Raaz Jo Sabko Nahi Pata?
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Wo Ye Hai Ki.
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Titanic Ki Puri Shooting,
Rajnikant Ke BATH TUB Mein Hui Thi.
4
Saas Ne Apney Fouji Damaad Ko Khat Likha,
Meri Beti Ko Tanha Chhorr K,
Tum Sarhad Per Mouj Masti Kar Rahay Ho,
Sharafat Se Meri Beti K Paas Aa Jao Chutti Le K,
Koi Bhi Bahana Bana Lo,
Fouji Damaad Ne Saas Ko,
Aik Hand Grenade (Bomb) Bheja Aur
Khat Mein Jawab Likha:
Dear Saasu Maa ,
Agar Aap Iss Ki Pin Khench Lein Tou Mujhay,
3 Din Ki Chhutti Mil Jayegi :)
1
Bachcha Teacher Se: Sir Gadhaa Kon Hota Ha?
Teacher: Beta Jo Kisi Aadmi Ko,
Apni Baat Naa Samjha Paaye.
Bachcha: Kuch Samjha Nahi Sir.
:-P:-p
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Ek bacha har roz maths teacher ko phone lagata.
Teacher ki patni-
"kitni bar kaha wo mar gaye,
bar bar phone kyu karte ho?"
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Baccha- bas sun kar accha lagta hai.
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