STORY
VIDEOS
NON VEG
PA: Sir ye kya pehan liya?
RaGa: Bulletproof Jacket hai.
PA: Rally me ja rahe ho?
RaGa: Nahi, Revolver Rani dekhne ja raha hu.
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Finally, I told my parents that I want a
Blackberry or An Apple.
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My Mother said: ?Ghar mein Mosambi hai,
pehle woh kha..
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Pehle zajame me jab koi akela beth ke hasta tha to log kehte the..
Es per bhoot-pret ka saya hai..!!
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Aaj kal jab koi akela beth ker hasta hai? to kehte hain..
Mujhe bhi SEND kar bhai :D
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Yeh Top secret hai
Kisi ko batana mat
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Aur Yeh Bottom secret!
Yeh bhi kisiko mat batana!..:P ;-)
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After Watching RAANJHANA Main
Is Conclusion Per Aaya Hoon
Ki,
"Zoya Naam Ki Ladki Se Jis Kisi Ne Bhi Pyaar Kiya Wo Kutte Ki Maut Mara..!!"
Example:
JANNAT,
ISHAQZAADE
& Now RAANJHANA..!! :P
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Arz kiya Hai...
Bigdi Hui
zindagi ki kuch itni si kahaani Hai..
Wah..wah..
20% Hum Bachpan se kamine the
or 80% facebook/twitter/bbm/whatsaap ki meharbani Hai
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Nail Paint Lagaya
Jata Hai Nail Main,
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Wah-wah..
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Nail Paint Lagaya
Jata Hai Nail Main,
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Acp- Ab Tum Zindagi Bhar
Sadte Rehna Jail Main.:-d
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Fedrick Bola Sir
Ladki Badi Rangeen Hai
Gaur Farmaaiye,
Fedrick Bola Sir
Ladki Badi Rangeen Ha
Acp Pradhuman Bola
Fedrick, Ladki To Rangeen
Hai Par Maamla Bada Sangeen Hai
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Kutte, Kamine..
Mai Tujhe Nahi Chodunga
Wah Wah! Wah Wah
Kutte Kamine
Mai Tujhe Nahi Chodunga
Daya Bola Sir Ye Mahine
Pagar Kam Mili,
Mai Darwaza Nahi Todunga..
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Good Morning Ke Baad Afternoon
Hua Hai, Good Morning Ke
Baad Afternoon Hua Hai,
Daya Ye Sadharan Maut
Nahi Iska Khoon Hua Hai.
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Kaisa Hona Chahiye ?
Ladka Handsome hona chahiye,
Smart to Phone bhi hote hain.
Phone to iPhone hona chahiye,
S1, S2, S3 to Train ke Dibbe bhi hote hain.
Insaan ka dil Bada hona chahiye,
Chhota to Bheem bhi hai.
Aadmi ko Samjhdar hona chahiye,
Sensitive to Toothpaste bhi hota hai.
Teacher jyada Number dene wala hona chahiye,
Andaa to Murgi bhi deti hai.
Yuva Rashtrawadi Hone chahiye,
Cool to Navratna Oil bhi hai.
Rashtrapati Kalaam Hona Chahiye,
Mukherjee to Rani bhi hai.
v Bathroom mein Hair Dryer Hona chahiye,
Towel to Sreesanth ke paas bhi hai.
Ladki mein Akal honi chahiye,
Surat to Gujrat mein bhi hai.
Mobile General mode par hona chahiye,
Silent to Manmohan Singh bhi hain.
Seb meetha hona chahiye,
Lal to Advani bhi hain.
Ladka Dravid jaisa hone chahiye,
Rahul to Gandhi bhi hai.
Ghumna to Hill Station par chahiye,
Goa to Pan masala bhi hai.
Reply dhang ka hona chahiye,
'Hmmmmmmm.' to bhains bhi kar leti hai.
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Is ur life boring?
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Type "I LOVE" ur lover name
N send it to all ur relatives
Try it..
ek dum hungama mach jaaega aapki life mein
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Sardar Wins 20 Cr From Rs. 20 Lottery Ticket.
Dealer Gave 11cr After Deducting Tax.
Angry Sardar:
"Give Me 20 Cr Or Else Return My 20 Rs Back.
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After popular demand from all husbands .. A new app called 'Panic' is launched..
You just say 'Wife' and it closes all websites, hides all chats with females, hides all special folders and puts the wallpaper as your wife's photograph...
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Obama:we havd 3 item bombs ?
1-Madonna
2-Angelina
3-Shakira
what do u have ?
Manmohan:we have Imraan Hashmi...
Professional bomb diffuser :>
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Universal Truth :
Kaamyabi "TOILET" Ki
Bdbu Ki Tarah Hoti Hai!!
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Bardasht Tabhi
Hoti Hai.
Jab Apni Ho.
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Teacher-kanjoos kise kehte hai.
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Student-jo hazar sms karne per v reply nahi deti ho.
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Teacher-example.
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Sir aapki beti.....
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- Tip of the day:
Fridge se jab bhi pani ki bottle nikalo to use wapis bhar kar fridge me rakhna.? Warna lecture mobile se shuru hoga aur padhai tak jayega...
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Latest news...rahul gandhi spotted at essel world ...saying ghar nahi jaoonga mein...
Pakistan declared...we don't want Kashmir now...but we will not give karachi.*ROTFL
Few more hours and WATSAPP mite become "KEM CHO" *ROTFL* ????
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Girl: Kal mein tumhare liye rakhi layi thi.
Tumne bandhwai kyun nahi?
Clasic Ans:
Boy: Agar kal mein tere liye mangalsutra lau to kya tu pehen legi?
baaaaat karti hai
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Tyohar to aate hi rehte he...pagli..
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What PAN we can't eat
WhichSTAN we can't go
in which GATE we can't go????
SAY SAY IF U NO
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Santa- kal meri shadi hai aur ladki walo ne
kam log bulaye hai.
Banta- to isme prob kya hai?
Santa-pata nhi papa mujhe le jaynge ya nahi
Deepak chhachhiya
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Ek Dm F.....
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Teacher at class:"suno bachcho kal tum
logo ka group photo shoot hoga,, . Sab log
apne apne ghar se Rs.50/-le kr aana,,
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Pappu: "saala ye sab teacher logo ki mili
bhagat hoti hai,,
Ek photo k 20/- rupye lagte hai aur hum
logo se 50_50 rupye liye ja rahe hai,, .
Matlab ek bachche se 30/- Rupye bachayenge matlab akele apni class me 60
bachche hai to 60*30=1800 Rs. . khuliLoot
macha rakhi hai in logo ne,,
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Fir hamare paiso se ye sab staff room me
baith k samosa khayenge aur hum bachchon ko milega Ghanta,,. Chal bhai
tappu ghar chalte hai kal mummy se
Rs.50/- le k aana,,
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Bhalai ka to zamaa nahi nahi rah gaya,,
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Pappu to mom: "Mummy kal school me
group photo shoot hona hai teacher ne
Rs.100/- rupye mangaye hai..
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. Mom: 100 rs!!
khuli loot macha rakhi hai in logo ne,,
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Fir hamare paiso se ye sab eish karenge...
ruk pappu beta mei tere pappa se mangti
hu...
MOM TO DAD:
are sunte ho
pappu ke school mein group photo ke liye
rs.200 mange hai!!''
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Agar Movie Ka Naam
"Studentof The Year"
Ki Jagah
"Principal Of The Year" Hota..
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To Kya Kaha Jata Short Me..??
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Agar Student Of The Year Ko
"SOTY Kehte Hain
To Principal Of The Year Ko Kehte
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POTY... ?
Divaa
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ACP Pradyuman : Laash mein se kidney gayab hai..Iska matlab samjhe Daya?
Daya : Kya sir?
ACP: Marne se pehle zaroor isne iPhone 6 kharida hoga..??
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Wife:' Baju-wali har saal apne pati ke sath 10 din bahar ghumne jaati hai Aap kabhi leke gaye.. ??
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Husband:' Maine to 4-5 baar poocha par wo nahi maani...:p :O :D
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Aaj mein aap k sath ek Hindi Emotional small love story share karnay ja rahi hu.
Mujhe Mumbai ki halki sunehri roshni wali subah bahut pasand hai….
Dhool aur dhuayein k bich Mumbai ki mashroof si subah….
Log kehtay hai Mumbai jitni hi failti ja rahi hai, pyar utna hi simatta ja raha hai.
Sab apni naukri se etni mohabbat kar baithay hai ki pyar vyar kitabon mein ya cinema k dhai (2:30) ghanto mein hi reh gaya hai. Kabhi bhulay se kisi coffee shop pe ho gaya…. toh ho gaya, varna koi chance hi nahi.
Lekin ek subah mujhe dikha wo kitabon wala pyar kitabon k panay se bahar, naam toh nahi jaanta unka lekin dekhnay se behintehasha mohabbat malum hoti thi.
Thik apnay waqt par Andheri station chalay aatai aur bheed mein khaday chamaktay rehtay. Kabhi kabhi mujhe aisa lagta ki meine unhay kisi washing powder ki advertisement mein dekha hai, bas es liyemeine unka naam MR and MRS Sharma rakh diya.
Train aatay hi Mrs Sharma… Mr Sharma k kandhey par unka bag cross kar k taang deti hai.
Aur unka hath pakad andar baith jaati hai. Safar shuru hota aur Mr Sharma ka newspaper khul jata.
Aur Mrs Sharma k bag se nikalta mehrun rang ka uun ka gola jisay wo bun ne lagti mehrun rang ka sweater, safar gujarta aur unka uun ka gola chota padta.
Aisay hi din, haftay, aur mahinay gujartay. Kabhi sweater ka gala banta toh kabhi sweater ki kamar. Aur ek din mehruni sweater ka baayan baaju bhi sil chukka tha. Kafi kush lag rahi thi wo.
Aur uskay baad na Mr Sharma dikhay na Mrs Sharma na wo mehruni raang ka sweater. Lekin ek din Mr Sharma ek corner mein khaday dikhai diye.
Mein apnay aap ko rok na paya aur daud kar unkay pass gaya aur pehli baar baat ki.
Ki Hello, Aap ne mujhe pehchana thodi dair baad unhonay kaha “tum wahi ho na, jo train mein ghoortay rehtay ho” but maine us baat ko jyaada tawaju na di. aur aati hui train mein unkay sath chad gaya. Aur pucha “Kya hua? Aaj aap akelay. Mrs Sharma I mean wo lady jo aap k sath rehti thi wo nahi aayi.” Aur Mr Sharma ne jawab na diya.
Aisay hi kaafi station gujar gaye Santacruz, Kurla, then Khar gujra, aur unhonay ek aur baar puchnay par kaha, “yaar mujhe maaf karo mein waisay hi bahut paraishan hu, she passed away wo bimar thi”
Aur thodi dair mein train Bandra station par pahuch gayi, log utarnay lagay aur chadnay lagay, maano zindagi local train ki taran hai, jaisay kuch logo ko thoda aagay jana hota hai aur kuch logo ko thoda pehlay utarna hota hai.
Meine pucha “exactly hua kya”
Mr Sharma: ” dekho yaar wo bahut ziddi thi, cancer tha usko, mere mana karnay k baad bhi wo mujhe roj office chodnay aaya karti thi train mein, aakhri station se utar k wapis chali jati thi, bas esi bahanay wo mere sath waqt bitana chahti thi, mein mana bhi karta tha, par haalaat aisay thai ki mein job chod bhi nahi sakta tha”
Yeh baat sun kar sach mein mujhe pehli baar laga ki kitabon wala pyar kitabon k pano k bahar. Jab koi sirf ek ghanta saath mein guzarnay k liye itna kuch karta hai.
Yeh bahut emotional si story thi par mein roya nahi. Mein tab tak na roya, jab tak baat kartay kartay mera dhyan Mr Sharma k sinay pe gaya. aur mujhe yeh ehsas hua ki Mr Sharma ne wahi mehrun raang ka sweater pehna hua tha jiska daayan (right) baaju aaj bhi sila na tha.
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One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh..'
The husband, rejected, turns over.
A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?
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Girl to boy- Tum kitne bhai behan ho..
Boy - 6
Girl- kyo maa Baap ko koi kaam nhi tha kya..
Boy - tum kitne ho.
Girl - 1
Boy - Kyo Baap me Dum nhi tha kya....
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Do ladies car driving seekh rahi thi
Unke pati:- Yaar meri biwi toh raat ko gear samjh kar hilati rahti hai
Dusra:- Meri biwi toh panty khol kar boli 200 ka daal do Tongue
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Bus Mein Jaghe Na Hone Par, Ek Budhe Ne Ek Ladki Ko Kaha
Uncle: “Beta Aao Meri Godh Mein Beth Jao”
Ladki: “Yeh Lo Uncle Ji”
Aur Ladki Godh Mein beth Gayi, Thodi Der Baad Ladki Jhatke Se Uthi Or Boli
Ladki: “Uncle Ya Toh Uss Ko Bitha Lo Ya Fir Mujh Ko“
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Ek dhaba Mein …
PATI Ne ek BANANA SHAKE
& PATNI Ne do Mosambi juice piya.
Counter Pe Payment K Time
Waiter Ne Aawaz Di:
Bhaiya Ka 1 Kela ,
Aur Bhabhi Ka do Mosambi Kaat lena.
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Selfishness, not love, is the actuating motive of the gallant.
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Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
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Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you respond to it.
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Success always hugs you in private... but failure always slaps you in the public ! that's life.
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Everyone wants happiness, no one wants pain, but you can't make a rainbow, without a little rain.
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Height of attempting unknown question in an exam… Question: What is an Array..? . Student: ARRAY is the word used to call a friend. Eg. “ARRAY BHAI idhar aa…
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Phone rings at night. Husband: ” If its for me, then say I am not at home” Wife : ” He is at home” Husband in anger : ” What the HELL?” Wife : ” SHUT UP. IT WAS FOR ME”
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Friends are the siblings god forgot to give us.
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Love is DOCOMO, do the new.Marriage is IDEA, can change ur life.Wife is HUTCH, where ever you go she follows.But Friendship is AIRTEL, ek atut bandhan……!
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No matter what has happened. No matter what you’ve done. No matter what you will do. I will always love you. I swear it.
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Everybody knows how to love, but few people know how to stay in love with one person forever.
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Every time I need you are right next to me, I feel like in the clouds when I look at you and I cannot say how much I love you my life
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Uski surat ko jab se dekha hai
Meri ankhon par log marte hain.
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Someone is “Driving” …since 4 days! I guess he reached Dubai!!
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Someone asked me what is UR attitude…
then i simply replied
“BEING SINGLE IS MY ATTITUDE…"
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Salesman: Sir, cockroach ke liye powder loge kya?
Santa Bola:
“Ji Nahin, hum cockroach ko itna laad-pyar nahi karte! Aaj powder laga denge to kal sala DEO mangega!!”
Salesman Fainted !!
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A Chinese man’s wife dies 1 year after marriage…
Santa Sardar tries to console Chinese but doesn’t know what to say..!!
Sardar : Hota hai yaar. Chinese thi, aur kitna chalti…
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