STORY
VIDEOS
NON VEG
You are the sun in my day,
The wind in my sky, The waves in my ocean,
And the beat in my heart.
1
The length & breadth & height of you, total up to quite a view,
but to taste the true delight of you, I'll have to take a bite of u.
1
I have had a really bad day and
it always makes me feel better to
see a pretty girl smile. So,
would you smile for me?
1
Hey, I just got your blood test report.
U have been tested HIV positive. Report
reads person has high percentage of Honey In Veins.
No Wonder!
1
Hey, I just got your blood test report.
U have been tested HIV positive. Report
reads person has high percentage of Honey In Veins.
No Wonder!
1
Without ur SMS days are like:
Moanday, Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday, Frightday, Shattereday & Sadday.
So send me SMS everyday.
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Tajmahal ki imarat her aashiq ko mohabbat ki misaal nazar aati hai.
Main kis kis ke liye taj banwaun mujhe to her ladki mumtaz nazar aati hai.
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Tajmahal ki imarat her aashiq ko mohabbat ki misaal nazar aati hai.
Main kis kis ke liye taj banwaun mujhe to her ladki mumtaz nazar aati hai.
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Let the dimples dig ur cheeks deep,
Smiling lips look gr8 on u,
Let d reason of ur happiness renew.
n i bet life itself will hav a crush on u!
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My Dear U r the Flower I unable to PLuck...
But Still I feel ur Unique fragrance...
Darling I had heaps of hopes about u..
& thousands of Snovy dreams about u....
1
Three types to break mirror:
1. Throw stone on mirror.
2. Take mirror and just drop it.
3. You just go and stand before the mirror and smile.
1
A Boy Was Going With His Girl Friend
.
Friend Asked : Who Is She?
.
Boy : My Cousin.
The Frend Said: Last Year She Was My Cousin.!
1
Be careful
when
a gal tells u that
she loves u
from the bottom of her heart.
For this may mean
that there is
still enough space
for another boy
on top!
1
KISI KI TARAPH DOSTI KA HATH ITNI JALDI NA BADHAO.
HO SAKTA HAI USNE POTTY KARKE HATH NA DHOYA HO.
1
Roti huyi aankho se tujhe muskan kaise du
Anjaan hu khud tujhe pehchan kaise du
Tu hi to hai jaan meri
Tu hi bata tujhe apni jaan kaise du.
1
jiski ek smile par hai duniya fida
jisse dil na hona chaiye juda
jiska style hai lajawaab
unhi ka sms padh rahe hai aap janaab.
1
Kash Tum BAKRI Hoti,
.
May Tum Ko Ghass Khilata Aur
.
Pyar Se Tumhare Seengh
.
Pakarta Aur Puchta Pagal Kon?
.
Tum Ya May ?
.
Or Tum Pyar Se Bolti,
.
Main Main..
1
1 Ladki Bus Stand Pe Khadi Thi
1 Ladka Bike Pe Jatta Hai
Vapas Ata Hai Or
Uss Ladki Se Puchta Hai
Pehchana Kya ???
Ladki :"Nahi Toh
Ladka :"Kya Yaar,
Abhi To Samne Se Gya Tha...
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Ek samaroh mai netaji bhashan de rahe the :-“Hamen khurak ki samasya ke hal ke liye jyada se jyada anaj ugana chahiye.”
Tabhi ek shararti uth kar khada ho gaya aur bola : – “Shrimaan ji, ghaas ugane ke bare mai aap ka kya vichar hai?”
Neta ji use bathne ka ishara karte hue bole :- “Pehle mai insano ki khurak ke baare mai bata lun, tumhari khurak ke baare mai baad main bataunga.”
1
With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65 year old woman has a baby.
All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family.
When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says "not yet."
A little later they ask to see the baby again.
Again the mother says "not yet."
Finally they say, "When can we see the baby?"
And the mother says, "When the baby cries."
And they ask, "Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?"
The new mother says, "because I forgot where I put it."
1
The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the
pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
The skin was moist and dry.
Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when
she got a divorce.
Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out
of gas and crashed.
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is
presently enrolled in day care three times a week.
Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.
Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
She is numb from her toes down.
Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot.
While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
The patient was to have a bowel resection. However he took a job as a
stockbroker instead.
Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
Coming from Detroit, this man has no children.
Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no
distress.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
1
In Ireland there is a mental institution that every year picks two of it's
most reformed patients and questions them. If they get the questions right
they are free to leave.
This year the two lucky gents were Patty and Mike.
They were called down to the office and left there by the orderly. They were
told to wait as the doctor got their files.
The doctor came out and motioned for Patty to come in for his questioning.
When Patty came into the office he was instructed to sit in the seat across
from the doctor.
"Patty you know the tradition of this institution so I imagine you know why
you are here. You will be asked two questions, and if you get them right, you
will be free to go.
Do you understand all that you have been told?" said the doctor with a rather
sly grin.
Patty nodded and the doctor began to question him.
The first question was this. "Patty if I was to poke out one of your eyes what
would happen?"
"I would be half blind of course," Patty answered without much thought.
"What would happen if I poked out the other eye?"
"I would be completely blind," said Patty knowing that he had just gotten his
freedom.
The doctor then sent him outside while he drew up the paperwork and accessed
Mike's files.
When Patty got into the waiting room however, he told Mike what the questions
would be and what the correct answers were.
The doctor calls in Mike and he followed the same procedure that he had with
Patty. "Mike the first question is what would happen if I cut off your ear?" <
"I would be blind in one eye," he said remembering what he had been told.
This received a perplexed look from the doctor but he just simply asks the
other question so that he could figure out what the man was thinking.
"Mike, what would happen if I cut off your other ear?"
"I would be completely blind," he answered with a smile as if he knew he had
passed.
But then the doctor asked him what his reasoning was, and he said flatly, "Me
hat would fall down over me eyes."
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A man goes to see the Rabbi.
"Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."
The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"
The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what
should I do?"
The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can
find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I
spoke to her on the phone for over three hours. You want my advice?"
The man anxiously says, "Yes."
"Take the poison," says the Rabbi.
1
A patient needed a brain transplant and the doctor told the family, "Brains
are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves."
"Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the relatives.
"For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000," replied the
doctor.
Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the men
nodded because they thought they understood.
But the patient's daughter was unsatisfied and asked, "Why the difference in
price between male brains and female brains?"
"Standard pricing practice," said the doctor.
"Women's brains have to be marked down because they've actually been used."
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GOLU 2 Dr.-Aap Parchi Me Aisa Kya Likh Kar Dete Ho
Jo Sirf Medical Store Wale Ki Hi Samajh Me aata hai
Dr.-Maine Loot Liya Hai
Ab Tu Bhi Loot le...
1
In the.viva table
Sir : tell me why cerebellum is called as silent area?
Student (after long time thinking) : sir because it works silently without any noise............
Lolzzzz kathiyavadi rox
1
Science kehta hai ki paani boil karne
se kitanu mar jate hai..
.
.
par science ko ye nahi pata ki kitanu
ke marne ke baad unki
''Dead bodies''
to pani me hi reh jati hai..
.
.
Stupid Science..
Maa kasam bachpan se genius hu..
Lekin kabhi ghamand nahi
kiya
1
A Little boy asks to Sunny Leone :- "Aunty ji, you have a Bungalow, a Car, Bank balance, Nauker-Chaaker.., Aap karti Kya Hai..??
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Sunny Leone replies:-
"Bas Beta, Ek Chhota sa 'HOLE-SALE' ka Business hai..!
1
Old man has 8 hair on his head.
He went to Barber shop.
Barber in anger asked:
shall i cut or count ?
Old man smiled and said:
"Colour it!"
LIFE is to enjoy with whatever you have with you, keep smiling?
? If you feel STRESSED,
Give yourself A Break.
Enjoy Some..
Icecream./ Choclates /
Candy / Cake
Why?
B'Coz STRESSED ka Ulta Spelling DESSERTS hota hai..????????
Alphabetic advice for you:
A B C
Avoid Boring Company..
D E F
Don't Entertain Fools..
G H I
Go for High Ideas .
J K L M
Just Keep a friend like ME..
N O P
Never Overlook the Poor n suffering..
Q R S
Quit Reacting to Silly tales..
T U V
Tune Urself for ur Victory..
W X Y Z
We Xpect You to Zoom ahead in life
?beautiful lines pls store it.
Ek acha frnd ek medicine ki tarah Hota hai
Lekin ek acha group pura medical store ki tarah Hota hai...?????
1
My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by
writing them on Post-it notes.
I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it
was so long.
"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four
characters."
1
In the aftermath of the AOL/Time-Warner merger, it has been leaked that Yahoo!
is taking over the following companies:
Disney
Data General
United Health Care.
The names of the new mega company will be:
Hoo-Dis, Hoo-Dat, and Hoo-Cares.
1
The gigantic computer took up a whole wall, dwarfing the two mathematicians
standing before it.
After much flashing and humming a sliver of paper emerged from the vitals of
the machine.
One mathematician, after studying it gravely, turned to the other and said
with awe, "Do you realise that it would take four hundred ordinary
mathematicians a hundred years of calculations to make a mistake this big?"
1
MAA- Beta tum kyu ro rhe ho ?
Beta - kuch nhi bus aise hi.
Maa - nhi kuch bat to hai beta.
Beta - kha na bus u hi dil bhar aya.
kuch der bad maa ne table p padi bete ki
medical report ko
padha is p likha tha bete ko cancer hai vo
kuch
hi dina ka mehman hai.
thodi der bad usi table pe bete ne ek...
leter dekha uski maa ne likha tha - beta
mai tumhe marta nhi dekh sakti mai
hamesha ke liye teri salamti ki bikh
maangne ke liye
bhagwan ke pas ja rhi hu
bagwan tumhe khush rakhe.
tumhari maa.
Respect Your Mom ??
Lyk & Share if It touched ur Heart
else ignore
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Aaj Kal Bacho Ne Padna Chod Diya.
Gor Frmaiye.
Aaj Kal Bacho Ne Padna Chod Diya.
Acp Tha Toilet Me Or Daya Ne Darwaja Tod Diya.
1
Ek chor dusre chor se : tum police ke hatho kaise pakde gaye.
Dusra chor : maine bank me chori ke paise wahi pe ginane laga,
Qki waha likha tha
"counter chhodne se pahle paise jarur gin len.
1
What is wife??
Fauji :
Sare Dushman Hum Se Darte Hai Aur Hum Bivi Se.
Mochi :
Main Juton Ki Marammat Krta Hoon Aur Bivi Meri .
Teacher :
Mai School Mein Lecture Deta Hoon Aur Ghar Mein B.v Se Sunta Hn .
Officer :
Mai Office Mein Boss Hoon Aur Ghr Mein Nokar .
Judge :
Main Court May Faisle Sunata Hoon Aur Ghar Mein Khud Insaaf Ka Talabgar.
{''FaisLa Aap k Haath Mein Hai Kanware Raho Khush Raho No Wife Easy Life''}
Jo Shadi Kr Chuke Hai Woh Sabar Karein , Jin Ki Nahin Hui Woh Shukr Krein ..
Issued In Public Interest
1
Once Rajnikant Teaches A
Kid How To Open The Door
Without Ringing The Bell ?
..
..
..
... .
..
..
Now That Kid Is Known
As C.i.d Inspector Daya
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Letest For Cid Fans,
A For Apple
B For Banana Wah Wah!
A For Apple
B For Banana
Kuch Bhi Ho Jaye
Daya Goli Mat Chalana.
1
Swimming Pool Mein
Paani Bohot Gehra Hai
Daya Says- "Sir Lagta
Hai Yeh Aadmi Iss Hotel Mein
Kisi Dusre Naam Se Thehra Hai."
1
Raat Ke Pehlu Me Chand Sittare
Chaye He
Wah Wah
Raat Ke Pehlu Me Chand Sittare
Chaye He
Madam Darwaja Kholiye Hum
Cid Se Aaye He
1
Girl: I need a laptop
Dad: Beta, we already have a PC.
Girl: But i need my makeup box with me everywhere
Dad: Makeup?
Girl: Yeah, Photoshop.??
1
When your phone battery is at 1%
and you are
running to the phone charger like -
.
.
.
.
.
"Mere saath reh bhaai.. ??
aankhe band mat karna.. ??
tujhe main kuch nhi hone dunga!! ??
1
Wo love love likhat rahi,
hum liv liv padat rahe.
Wo kiss kiss likhat rahi hum kick kick padat rahe.
Wo Shadi kar k Sasural chali gayi ,
hum sasura english speaking course hi karat rahe.
1
Bhagwan Aur Doctor Ko Kabi
Naraz Mat Karna.. Qki..
Bhagwan Naraz To Aap Doctor
Ke Paas, Aur Doctor Naraz
To Aap Sidhe Bhagwan Ke
Paas.. Sab Setting Hai ..!
1
Kanjoos: Doctor Daat Niklvana Hai
Kitne Paise Loge..?
Doctor: Rs 200..
.
Kanjoos: Ye Lo Rs 50
Daat Dhilaa Kar Do
Nikaal Mai Khud Lunga...!
1
Hugh Hefner - 87 years old, has a 27 year old wife.
Berlusconi - 77 years old, has a 27 year old girlfriend.
Maradona - 52 years old, has a 22 year old girlfriend.
Digvijay singh is 67 and has 38 years old girlfriend.
Moral: Don't worry if you don't have a girlfriend, she probably isn't born yet :
Amit Phojdar
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A wife was calling out for her husband from the kitchen to help her with the dishes, but did not get a response.
She went looking for him in the bed room and found hubby asleep on his files, tired of work.
She walked closer to him, looked at the innocent face, played with his hair softly, sweetly and
*PHATTTAKK*
slapped his face!!!
The husband got up with a shock and asked what happened??!?!
That's when the wife showed him her phone which showed...
"Last seen on whatsapp 1 minute ago"?
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Superb Attitude For Life: Cheers
All The Boys For This.. Living
With Wife Is A Part Of Life,
But Living With The Same
Wife For Years, Is Art Of Life!
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samundar milte hi barish ko bhul gaye, daulat milte hi khuda ko bhul gaye, bade ajib he duniya vale....
"shila" milte hi "munni" ko bhul gaye!!!!
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Pappu Class Mein Enter Hua.
Teacher: ?Tum Class Mein 30 Minute Late Aaye Ho.?
Smart Pappu: ?Sir, Main Aapki Class Ke Liye Late Nahi, Next Class Ke Liye Jaldi Aaya Hun.?
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