STORY
VIDEOS
NON VEG
Santa: How much is my mobile bill?
Call Centre Girl: Sir, just dial 123 to know your Current bill.
Santa: Stupid! I have already paid my electricity bill. I want to know my Mobile bill and not 'Current' bill.
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Santa: My wife said, she needed some space in her life.
Banta: So what steps are you taking?
Santa: I agreed and hung 2 "Star Wars" posters in the kitchen.
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Santa: I am 96% Jesus.
Banta: You're conceited.
Santa: I can prove that.
Banta: And how?
Santa: Jesus can walk on water... I can walk on cucumbers... Cucumbers are 96% water... therefore I'm 96% Jesus.
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A woman telephoned her local newspaper to let them know that she had just given birth to 18 children.
The reporter didn't quite hear the message and said, "Would you repeat that?"
"Not if I can help it," replied the woman.
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Both of my marriages were disasters. My first wife left me. My second one didn't.
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Santa was surfing on the net. He got a message, "Page 404 not found".
Santa: There's some virus in my computer.
Pappu: What happened?
Santa: But I wasn't even looking for "Page 404" and they keep showing the message about it.
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Q: Why are Egyptian children always confused?
A: Because after death, their DADDY becomes a MUMMY.
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Santa: For husbands, keeping wives happy is a job of our "LEFT HAND".
Banta: So why don't men do it?
Santa: Unfortunately, 95% of men are actually "RIGHT HANDED"! || latest new jokes santa banta ||
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Height of addiction:
In a college form, when asked about "PERMANENT ADDRESS", a student wrote "www.facebook.com"!
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HUMBLE REQUEST:
He has served us Beer when we were Sad & Happy.
Now he needs our help. Please save Mallya by adopting at least ONE Kingfisher Air Hostess!
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Santa: I am fed up of my life.
Banta: Now what happened?
Santa: Everytime I'm about to win an argument with my wife, someone wakes me up!
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Doctor: How is your headache now?
Santa: Oh, she is out of town.
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After looking at the cheerleaders in Sri Lanka, one really can't blame Ravana for abducting Sita.
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Santa: My wife is a magician.
Banta: Why?
Santa: She made my dinner disappear into a cloud of smoke. || latest new jokes santa banta ||
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Lalu Yadav to protest in parliament for nominating 'Barfi' to Oscars, when they had 'Rabri' as a better option!
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Pappu: Papa, what do I give my girlfriend as a gift?
Santa: How does she look?
Pappu: She looks very sweet and pretty.
Santa: Give her my number.
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A Santa was working
1st time in a
garments shop...
A lady customer :
Underwear dikhana....
.
.
Santa sharmakar :Aaj nahi pehni..
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Santa: I stayed up all night.
Banta: What was wrong?
Santa: I was trying to remember if I have amnesia or insomnia.
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Jeeto: Why are you home so early?
Santa: My boss told me to "Go to Hell"!
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Positive thinking poem.....
"Little bird in the sky...
Dropping poty in ur eye...
U don't worry, u don't cry...
U just thank god that elephants can't fly..."
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Every wife is like "terms and conditions" of a website.
The husbands never understand or read what she says but they all always accept.
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Banta: What is an adult joke?
Santa: Any joke which is 18 years old.
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Santa to barber, "How much for a haircut?"
Barber: Rs. 50/-
Santa : How much for a shave?
Barber: Rs. 25/-
Santa : Good. Shave my head.
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Santa: Wives are like police.
Banta: Why?
Santa: Once they get hold of all the evidence, they still want to hear the truth from you!
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Santa Ek Baar Park Mein Beth Ker Gaana Ga Raha Tha“ Aaj Mein Upar Aasma Niche
Uske Paas Ek Aadmi Betha Tha UsAadmi Ne Santa Ka Gaana Sun Kar Santa Ko Bahut Maara
.
Kyon ???
,
,
Kyon Ki Aasma Us Aadmi Ki Beti Ka Naam Tha.
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Santa was buying the movie tickets again and again.
Banta: Why are you buying the movie tickets again and again?
Santa: Some fool is standing near the door and tearing my tickets.
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Santa: yar coffee jaldi pee
Thandi ho jayega....?
Banta: itna jaldi Q..?
Santa: are bebakuf
Menu card padha nehi
Hot coffee Rs.20/-
Cold coffee Rs.40/-
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Exam me teacher ne nakal karne di aur kaha bahar jake
na kehna ki meine nakal karai hai.
Santa : Na jee na hum kahenge sir to bahut kamina tha,
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Santa KHUDKUSHI par bhashan de rha tha
.
Khudkushi Paap hai
Zulm hai
Gunah hai
Pagalpan hai
.
.
Khudkushi karne se behtar to
insan khud ko Goli mar le
Santa - oye item kya haal hai tera?
.
.
.
girl- jo teri behen ka hai..
.
.
.
.
.
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santa- achha matlab ki tu bhi pregnent hai
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Santa Prays Daily For 2 Hours
"Hey bhagwan Meri Lottery Lagade.
After 11 Yrs bhagwan Angrily Appears &
Says -Oey Uloo De Pathay Ticket To Le Le.
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Santa: Yar mein bada pareshan hoon
Banta: Kya hua?
Santa: Meri Wife mujhe roz thumbs up pila deti hai
Banta: Ye to achhi bat hai
Santa: Nahin pilane k bad kehti hai chalo aaj kuchh toffani karte hain
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Santa use gaur se dekhte hue bola-
Santa - Bhaisahab, aap start nahi ho rahe to dhakka lagau.
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Santa : Badda dukh hoya si teri wife di mout ki khabar sunker, wase hoya ki si?
Banta : Goli lagi si matthe vich.
Santa : Shukar rabb da ankh bach gai
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Pappu Apne Papa Santa k Sath Raat ko Taxi me ja raha tha.
Bus Stand pe Bahot Sari Call Girls khadi thi.
Pappu - Papa,ye ladkiya itni raat ko yaha q khadi hai.
Santa - beta, ye apne Pati ka intazaar kar rahi hai.
Taxi Driver - Bachche ko sach q nhi bata dete.
(Taxi Driver bache ko sab sach sach bata deta hai ki ye ladkiya kya karti hai)
Santa ko driver k upar bahot gussa aaya.
Pappu - Papa ye sach hai
Santa (gusse se) - ha
Pappu - Papa, in Girls k Bachcho ka kya hota hai.
Santa - Beta,Vo bade hoke Taxi Driver Ban jate hai :D :D
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Santa and banta jungle mein, saamne aayaa sher…
Banta ne sher ki aakhon main matthi phenki, aur bhaagne lagaa aur santa ko bhi bhaagne ko kahaa.
Santa : Main kyun bhaagu, matthi to tune phenki hai.
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santa- mai shimla ja raha hu.raste mai biwi ko gira dunga.
banta- meri bhi le jao,use bhi gira dena.
santa- agar bura na mane to use wapasi mai gira du?
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santa ne padha'bill gates k microsoft ne skype 4.5crore mai kharidi'..
santa- internet se free mai to download hota hai, faltu mai paise diye..
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santa- ro raha tha!
banta- tm kyu ro rahe ho?
santa- meri murgi maar gayi hai..
banta- itna to mai apne baap k marne pe bhi nhi roya tha.
santa- tmhara baap kaunsa andde deta tha..
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santa- sir ji, aap apni patni ko party mai kyu nhi late?
boss- wo gao ki hai..
santa- maaf krna, mujhe laga wo sirf apki hai..
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santa- mai teri roj roj ki shopping se tang aa gaya hu, ishliye marne ja raha hu.
jeeto- acha ek safed suit to la do, bhog pr kya pehnungi?
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Santa:-Agar "Teri "Bivi Ko "Bhootni Lipat Jaye, To Tu Kaya Karega?
Banta:-Mujhe "Kaya Karna!
Ye Do "Behno" Ka" Aapsi"Mamla"Hai.
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punjabi badi majedar language hai kyuki..
ek chote se bache ko nanga dek kr santa pe pucha-
"oye aj teri maa ne kacchi ni payi.."
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santa ki patni ka raang kala tha ushne ek din yellow saree pahen kr santa se pucha- mai kaise lag rahi hu?
santa- sadk jawa, jaise koyale ki khan mai aag lag gaye ho..
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Santa: I am going ka matlab batao.
Banta: Main ja raha hoon
Santa: Main nahi jane dunga, pehle matlab bata.
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nurse- mubarak ho santa ji, ap papa ban gaye.
santa- meri patni ko nhi bolna mai use surprise dunga...
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santa aur banta kabristan mai baithe baaten kr rahe the..
santa- dekho ye murde kitne aram se apni kabro mai soye hue hai.
sare murde uthe aur bole- kyu na soye, ye jagah hmne apni jaan de kr hasil ki hai..
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teacher- ushne sucide kr li aur use sucide krne padi, ishme difrnc batao?
santa- pehla padha likha berojgar tha, dusara married tha..
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santa- tmhari bhaish ne mere sare khet ujad diya hai..
banta- pr mere pas to koi bhaish nhi hai..
santa- mere pass kaunsa koi khet hai?
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banta- ap yaha baithe ho apka dost maar gaya hai,ap gaye kyu nhi?
santa- mai jata magar ushne mujhe bulaya hi nhi...
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banta- sent msg kya hota hai?
santa- kr di na bewkufo wali baat,sent msg ka matlab khusbu wala msg yaar..
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