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Nikki's Joke
Value

मुझे अपनी सही वैल्यू उस समय पता
चली.
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जब
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कस्टमर केयर वाली ने कहा, आपकी
कॉल हमारे लिए महत्वपूर्ण है। grin.png

Apr,14 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Tapk Tapak

ज़रा गौर फरमाईएगा, कविता का नाम है -
"दो बूंद"
सुनिए .....
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."टपक ! टपक !!"
शुक्रिया, उम्मीद है की पसन्द आई होगी.... grin.png grin.png

Apr,14 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Nice

Ek hizde ne armi ke sare test pass kar liye sex test me manager bola aapka to lund hi nahi hai
tab hizda bolta hai manager se
ye bataiye aapko goli chal bani hai ya maa chud bani hai

Apr,14 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Kya khaya

Kapil& His Girl Friend.. 
Kapil : Kya Khaya Aaj Dinner Mein? 
GF : Tumhe Bas Yehi Baatein Karni Aati Hai.. 
Kapil : Ok.. 
To Yeh Batao.. 
How Should RBI Fight These Inflationary Trends With Minimum Intervention In The Money Markets? . . . 
GF : Hmmmm.. Daal Chawal And Aalu Ki Sabji..

Apr,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Paani mein whiskey

Paani mein whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein brandy milao to nasha chadta hai.
Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.

Apr,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Nice

Girl: Do U Love me?
Boy: Yes, I Do ...
Girl: How Much?
Boy: I Love U So Much, I Can't Measure

Girl: No Just Tell Me
Boy: OK, I'm Like A Cell Phone & You're My Sim Card,
I'm Nothing Without U.

Apr,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Breakup

What is breakup ???
.
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Itz A Matter of time
when a
jaan becomes Jaanwar
and
a cutiee becomes a kutti.

Apr,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Bazaar

Husband : Jab mein aache clothes pehenkar bazaar jata hu to sabziwale
Sabzi mehngi dete hai. Jab gande kapde pehenkar jata hu to saste.
Wife : Tum katora lekar jaya karo na, free me hi sabzi mil jayegi!

Apr,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Love marriage

बच्चा: पापा आपकी लव मैरिज हुई थी ना?

पिता: हां, पर तुम्हें कैसे मालूम!

बच्चा: क्योंकि आपकी शादी और मेरी जन्म तिथि में सिर्फ पांच महीने का फर्क है.

Apr,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Santa Banta

संता ने बंता का जूस का गिलास पी लिया.
बंता: मेरी तो किस्मत ही खराब है. बेटा फेल हो गया. बीबी जिसे मैं अपनी जान से ज्यादा प्यार करता हूं, वो मेरे ही दोस्त के साथ भाग गई. और अब जब जहर पीने जा रहा था तो… संता: तो क्या हुआ ????
बंता: तो यार जहर मिला हुआ जूस भी तू पी गया.

Apr,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Hilana sikhaya

Girl: kya tum mujhe apni family se zyada chahte ho..?
Boy: No.
Girl: Kyo?
Boy: Jab main paida huwa to meri Maa ne musibat jheli.
Jab bada hone laga to Baap ne ungli pakad kar chalna sikhaya.
Jab taklif hui to Behan royi,
Jab zarurat padi to Bhai ne saath diya.
Girl: achha Gan*u.. Jab lu*d khada hua to kon kaam ayaa..!
Boy: Mera Dost, Jo ye msg padh raha hai… Jisne muze hilaana sikhaya!
:D

Apr,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Tukde Tukde

Ek Admi gusse me Biwi se bola-
Dil karta hai ki aaj tere tukde tukde kar k idhar udhar fek Du.
Achanak pados me se awaaz aayi..
Bhai ‘ch*t’ idhar fekna.

Apr,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Ek hi position


Agar apko lagta hai,thode der T.V. bandh karne se yaa tedhe hokar ek hi position me bethne se apki Favorite team jyada runs banaegi, Toh Rajiv Shukla ki kasam Aap Chutiye Hain

Apr,10 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Ek bra de do

Munna ji bra lene shop par gaye
Munna ji: ek bra de do
Shopkeepar: kis size ki du?
Munna ji: size to pata nahi par biwi ki purani bra me se meri do topi ban gayi hai.

Apr,10 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
SuperSex

Teacher: Girl se Condom ka full form batao?

Girl :
C : Control
O : On
N : Natural
D : Drops
O : Of
M : Man
DO BOOND ZINDAGI KI

Apr,10 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Tum Ganpati hote

Husband: Kaash main Ganpati hota. Tum roz meri pooja karti, mujhe laddu khilati, bada mazaa aata.

Wife: Haan, kaash tum Ganpati hote. roz tumko laddu khilati, har saal visarjan karti, naye Ganpati aate, bada maza aata!!

Apr,10 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Straight Hair

Women with Straight Hair want Curls,
Women with Curls want Straight Hair.
But Men are simple, they just want the Hair on their Head to stay.

Apr,10 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Facebook mein


Jee haan, yadi aapke paas girlfriend ho to aap facebook mein jo kuch bhi daalenge wo like zaroor kiya jaata hai. Sabse pehle aapki girlfriend use like aur comment karegi, uske baad ladki ka comment dekhkar aapke sabhi dost bhi usmein comment karne ko betaab hue jaayenge. :D :D

Apr,9 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Wife Pregnant

Ek Sales Manager tension mai tha.....
Distributor : Kya hua, Sahab ??:
Manager : 6 months se tour pe hoon, aur kal pata chala wife pregnant ho gayi hai "
Distributor : Ab pata chalega, bina order k maal aata hai to kaisa lagta hai...

Apr,8 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
FB Shutdown

Boss comes up to an employee: Yesterday you did a great job - in one day you managed to do as much work, as you did in previous month! Thanks boss, that's because Facebook was shut down for the whole day.

Apr,6 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
पैसा

पैसा बिस्तर दे सकता है... नींद नहीं;
पैसा भोजन दे सकता है... भूख नहीं;
पैसा अच्छे कपडे दे सकता है... सुंदरता नहीं;
पैसा ऐशो आराम के साधन दे सकता है... सुकून नहीं;
इसलिए आप सभी अपना अपना पैसा...
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मेरे नाम ट्रांस्फर करके संन्यास ले लें।

Apr,4 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
लुल्ली कैसी होती है?

गर्लफ्रेंड: लुल्ली कैसी होती है?
पप्पू: कोई लम्बी, कोई छोटी, कोई पतली, कोई मोटी, कोई सख्त और कोई नरम।
गर्लफ्रेंड(हँसते हुए): लगता है सारी उम्र गांड ही मरवाई है तूने!

Apr,4 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Smile While Messaging

Sit in grief and depression for the whole day and nobody shows interest in knowing what's wrong.
But smile seeing a message on your phone and the whole damn world wants to know what's the message!

Apr,4 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
गर्लफ्रेंड की याद

लडका अपनी गर्लफ्रेंड की याद में उदास बैठे पानी मे पत्थर मार रहा था.....
एक मेढक निकल कर बोला
पानी मे आ तेरी उदासी उतारू साले
अपनी वाली के चक्कर मे
मेरी वाली का सिर फोड दिया।

Apr,3 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
April Fool Proposal

Girl ATM pe Pappu se..

Girl : bhaiya mujhe apna balance check karna hai.. Aap meri help kar do plz..

Pappu use ek zor ki laat marta hai aur ladki gir jati hai.
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Pappu: tera balance to bahot kharab hai!!

Apr,3 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Exam Time

Height of attempting all questions in exams:
Qust. Define Array?
Santa Wrote: Array is a slang that we use to call anyone ….. for Eg. “Array Yaar sun to jara”

Apr,2 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
मैं मैथ्स का प्रोफेसर हूं और मैंने दाल सपोज&#

संता रेस्ट्रॉन्ट में खाना खाने गया और सिर्फ रोटी ऑर्डर की।

वेटर ने रोटी लाकर परोसी, तो प्रोफेसर खाली प्लेट में रोटी डुबोकर खाने लगे।

वेटर ने हैरान होकर पूछा-सर, यह आप क्या कर रहे हो? आपकी प्लेट तो खाली है!

संता-शट अप! मैं मैथ्स का प्रोफेसर हूं और मैंने दाल सपोज़ की हुई है

 

 

Mar,16 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
मैं किसी की कॉपी नहीं करता

संता-कल मैंने तेरी भाभी को कातिल कहा, उसने खुश होकर मुझे चाय के साथ पकोड़े भी खिलाए।

बंता-बढि़या है यार, मैं भी आज बोलूंगा, लेकिन अंदाज बदल कर। तू तो जानता है, मैं किसी की कॉपी नहीं करता।

संता (अगले दिन)- क्या हुआ, मिले पकोड़े?

बंता- मुझे तो खाना भी नहीं मिला। मैं तो बस कातिल की जगह हत्यारिन बोला।

Mar,16 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
तेरे होंठ कैसे जल गए?

संता- तेरे होंठ कैसे जल गए?

बंता- अरे कुछ नहीं यार, बीवी को रेलवे स्टेशन छोडऩे गया था। वह मायके जा रही थी और खुशी के मारे ऐसा पागल हो गया कि ट्रेन के इंजन को ही चूम लिया।

Mar,16 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
pyaari si smile Zarur kare

Ladkiyon se jab bhi mile ek pyaari si smile Zarur kare

Mar,14 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
What is Baba Ji ka thullu

BF - Tell me I will give you the answer! !
Girl - What is Baba Ji ka thullu??

Mar,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Bbm Chalane Ke Liye

Bbm Chalane Ke Liye Blackberry Khareedne Walo
Tumhe Kya Mila?
BABAJI KA THULLU....!!!!

Mar,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak

Mar,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Dil Me

Kab maine kaha ki shona aur chandi chahiye,
Bas aapke dil me chhota sa kona chahiye,
Jise hum keh sake dilse apna,
Aisa bhi to koi yaar hona chahiye

Mar,11 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Pal Mubarak

Aaj Mubarak, Kal Mubarak,
Holi Ka Har Pal Mubarak,
Rang Birangi Holi Me,
Mera Bhi Ek Rang Mubarak
Wishing You Happy Hol

Mar,3 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Ladke Ka Rista

Ladka ladki ko dekhne
gaya,
unko baat krne k liye
akele bitha diya
girl-(darte hue)bhaiya aap
kitne bhai-behen ho
Boy-abhi tk to 3 the,ab 4
ho gye.

Mar,2 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Call Me

Funny conversation of Husband and Wife on Whatsapp

Husband: Call Me Shonu
Wife: mera Shona Babu.

Husband: arrrrre.,,,Call Me Sweetheart
Wife: my sweetu Sweetheart.

Husband: ufffff… Call Me Honey..
Wife: Mera hannu darling.

Husband : O pagal aurat, call kar mujhe, balance nhi hai
Wife: Oho ok ok Abhi karti hoon!

Feb,24 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Raat

Jo mere the wo mere ho na paye,
aankhoo mein aansu the magar hum ro na paye,
ek roz unhone kaha hum milenge khwabon mein,
meri kismat dekho usi raat hum so na paye.

Feb,21 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Shanti

Pati: Ab Jhagda Bandh Bhi Karo, Mai Shanti Ke Saath Rehna Chahta Hu.
Patni: Haa, Jaao, Mai Bhi Umesh Ke Saath Rehna Chahti Hu.

Feb,12 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Love To Fly

This is love to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.

Feb,6 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Know Her,

Try getting to know her, maybe if she works somewhere near you, you can go "visit" her work place. Pop in and say hey before you leave to go home, or maybe ask her if she'd like to hang out on your break.

Feb,3 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
My Underwear

Can You Guess The Color of My Underwear?

Feb,3 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Power Kiss

Sometimes the most passionate kisses have very little to do with your mouth. Rather, it’s the commanding way you use your hands that can make sparks fly. For Heather, 29, from New York, NY, kissing hits new heights when her girlfriend grabs her just so. “She’ll pull me close when I least expect it, putting her right hand firmly around my waist and cradling the back of my head with her left hand before kissing me,” she explains. “I love that kind of kiss!”

Feb,3 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Cut Down On Alcohol, Tobacco, & Other Drugs

Using these substances in excess may interfere with your ability to control ejaculation.

Feb,3 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Bin Sawan Barsat

Bin sawan barsat nahi hoti
Suraj dube bin rat nahi hoti
Ab aesi adat ho gai hai ki
Aapko wish kiye bina kisi
Tyohar ki shuruwat nahi hoti.

Jan,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Udayye Patang

Tan Mein Masti, Man Mein
Umang, Chalo Akash Mein
Dale Rang, Ho Jaye Sab
Sang Sang, Udayye Patang!
Happy Makar Sankranti!

Jan,13 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
50 ladkiya

Banta Roz Subha 50 ladkiya mera intezar karti hain
Santa- are wah Vo kaise?

.

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Banta- Main Girls collage ka busdriver Hu na.

Jan,10 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Sabse Zada Pyaai Ladki Duniya Ki

Acha Pyar Har Baar Qurbani Dene Ke Liye Majboor Hota Hai...
Kuchh Waqt Purani Tumhe Baat Btata Hu...
Kaise Hua Mai Barbaad Ye Kahani Sunata Hu...
Ham Bhi The Aam Insano Ki Tarah Apni Zindagi
Ko Khul Ke Jee Rahe...
Dosto Ke Sang Haste The Bolte The Khushi Ke
Jaam Pee Rahe The...
Ke Phir Achanak Se Dastak Sunayi Di Kisi Ki...
Use Dekh Kar Mano Ke Koi Had Hi Na Rahi Meri
Khushi Ki...
Dhire Dhire Mai Uske Pyar Me Pagal Sa Hone
Laga...
Din Raat Zamane Ko Bhool Uske Khyalo Me Khone
Laga...
Uspe Bhi Asar Meri Mohabbat Ka Khoob Chha
Raha Tha...
Sach Puchho To Pahle Pyar Ka Mza Ham Dono Ko
Aa Rha Tha...
Halki Nokjhok Mithe Jhagdo Aur Beshumar Pyar
Ke Sath Din Guzarte Gye...
Sath Sath Hum Unpe Aur Bhi Jyada Shiddat Se
Marte Gye...
Phir Aagya Wo Din Jo Har Ashiq Ki Kismat Me
Zaroor Hota Hai...
Sacha Pyar Har Baar Qurbani Dene Ke Liye
Majboor Hota Hai...
Aayi Wo Mere Paas Kuchh Majbooriya Kuchh
Bhane Le Kar...
Ham Ab Ek Nhi Ho Sakte Aise Hi Kuchh Fasane Le
Kar...
Ho Sake To Maaf Karna Mera Isme Koi Kasoor Na
Tha...
Maine Bhi Has Ke Use Vida Kiya Mujhe Laga Ke
Mai Itna Kamzor Na
Tha.....
Magar Jaise Jaise Din Uski Vidayi Ke Nazdik Ate
Gye...
Gum Ke Kale Saye Mujh Par Waise Waise Chhate
Gye...
Wo Shadi Kar Chli Gyi Apne Sajan Ke Ghar...
Mai Use Dhondhta Hua Firta Raha Dar Bdar...
Uske Gum Me Mujhe Nashe Ne Gher Liya Tha...
Mujhe Uski Yaad Ne Din Rat Shrab Pine Pe
Majboor Kiya Tha...
Kuchh Waqt Me Hi Mai Pure Shahar Me Badnaam
Hogya...
Ek Abhagi Maa Ka Achha Beta Kisi Ki Yaado Me
Kho Kar Gumnaam
Hogya...
Ab Sabko Mohabbat Karne Se Rokna Hi Kaam Hai
Mera...
Koi Ek Bhi Bach Jaye Meri Wajah Se To
Samjhunga K Yahi Inam Hai
Mera.......

Jan,9 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Murge Ka Anda

Ek murgi market gayi, aur dukaandar se boli, “ek anda dena.”
Dukaandar bola, “sharm nahin aati, murgi hokar anda mangti ho.”
Murgi boli, “mere pati ne kaha hai ki 3 rupyee ke ande ke liye
apna figure kharab mat karo.”

Jan,6 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
Rented House Ki Rented Chudai

Hi, doston me Nikki from pune. Me aaj apko apne jivan kee ek aur hui chudai ke bare me batana chate hu. Mere shadi ko hue jab ek hi saal hua tha tab mere pati USA chale gaye the. Uske bad ve yahan kabhi nahi aye. Kuch dino bad unka letter mila jisme likha tha ki unhone vaha par nayi shadi kar le hai. Ab me nayi shadi karna chati hu. Aur ap me se koi be naujawan mujhse shadhi karne mai interested ho to mujhe mail kareNikkiunmarried@acasa.romeri height 5ft 6inch hai mera figure 38-26-38 hai. Mera rang gora hai. Philhal ab mai apni story me ati hu to dayan se sunye ga.Meri pati ko gaye hue abhi ek hi sal hue the. Ham rented house me rahte the. Mere pati ke jane ke bad mere paise bhi kam hote ja rahe the maine paise ki kami se bachne ke liye cal centre me naukri kical centre me kam karne se me itne paisa nahi kama pati thi ki me apne ghar ko sahi se chala saku. Dhire dhire pending karte karte bat akhirkar ghar tak a pari. Mere pas ab itne paise nahi the ke me ghar ke karcho ke sath sath rent bhi bhar saku. Macan malik rojana ake paisa magta tha. Uska nam Mukul tha. Uska rang gora tha aur halki dari bhi thi. Vo ek mast handsome looking guy tha. Uski awaz bhi bahut sexy thi.

Us din sunday tha. Mukul ghar aya aur rent magne laga. Mere 6 mahine ki pyasi chut uske sexy awaz ko sunkar tilmila uthi. Main bahana bana kar usko sam ko ane ke liye kaha aur vo man gaya aur chala gaya. Ab maine sam ko apni saphed sari aur bra kali rang ke phen li. Aur maine peticoat bhi nahi pehna. Sam ho chuki thi vo ghar me aya aur mere ko is rup me dekhta hi rah gaya na uski palke aur na hi uska chera mujse rent magne ka ho raha tha.Us ne badi muskil se kaha ‘rent rehne dijeye main phir kabhi le lunga. Mene dere se jakar uske galon ko chum liya aur kaha ‘maja lena chahoge is rangele chut ka’. Vo chok gaya. Phir usne himat karne mujhe chodne ka prastav rakha. Mere jat se uska pent utarkar uske 8? ke lumbe aur 5? ke mote lund ko jat se muh me le liya. Usne mere pyari saphed ko upar se neche tak phad dala. Mere transparent kali bra ko dekh kar uska virya nikal aya aur jald hi gatac gayi. Uska virya ka swad makan se bhi jabardast tha. Usko meri cunt ko chatne ki ikcha thi isliye mene mana nahi kiye aur ham dono 69 ke position me a gaye. Usne mere gand aur chut ka maza chatee hue kub maza liye. Aur phir me gori ke position me a gayi aur uske lund ko thusvane ke liye machalne lagi.

Akhir 6 mahine ki pyasi chut ko lund milne wala tha. Usne jaldi se condom chara liya aur mujhe chodna suru kar diya. Main uske mote lund ko nahi sah pa rahi thi. Par vo beraham nahi mana aur apna lund tight karta chala gayi. Leken thodi der me sab normal ho gaya vo mujhe chodne ka anand le raha tha aur me chudne ka. Phir usne mujhe har position me choda. Meri gand us rat dard se tilmila rahi thi. Phir subah hote hi vah vahan se chala gaya. Aur usne kaha ki ab vah par free rah sakti hai aur vah mujhe ab har rat chodne ke liye ane laga. Phir mene uske doston ke sath bahut group sex kiye jiske story me apko agli bar sunaunge.

Jan,6 2015
Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak Hansimazak
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