STORY
VIDEOS
NON VEG
Girl : I want to breakup with you. You don't ever call me, you asshole. Fuck off.
Boy : Arre main busy tha, new Lamborghini Aventador liya maine
Girl : awwww! ?? My jaanu So cute ! Kab li ? Kaha hai ? Baby meet me na.
Boy : Laptop pe, NFS me.
Girl : Haraami Saaley
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1 bande Ne Ek Function Orgnize Kiya
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Usne Dekha Ki Invitation Se Zyada
Log Aaye Hai
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Wo Stage Pe Gya Aur Bola
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Jo Jo Ladki Walon Ki Taraf Se Wo
Idher Ek side Me Aa Jaye.
10-15 Aa Gye Ek Taraf.
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Phir usne Bola Ki Jo Ladke Walon Ki
Taraf Se Hai Wo Bhi Udher Aa jaye.
10-15 Log Phir Aa Gye
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Ab usne Ek Danda Le K Un Sab ko (ladki wale plus ladke wale) ko bhagaya aur kaha Kamino Ye gupta ji ki retirement Party hai... :'P :'D
Absolute Classic!!!
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Boy:"I Love U, tum iss duniya ki sabse khubsurat ladki ho..
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Girl:"Par tumhare peeche to mujh se bhi zyada
khubsurat ladki khadi hai..
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Ladke ne mud kar dekha to waha koi nahi tha..
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Girl:"Agar tum mujhse sachha pyaar karte toh kabhi mud kar nahi dekhte...
"I HATE YOU"
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Boy:"Jaisi tumhari marzi , but ab ye diamond ring main kise dunga...
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Girl:"Lo ! Ab main apne jaanu ke saath mazak bhi
nahi kar sakti kya...
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Ladki ne ring box me dekha..
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Girl:"Ye to khaali hai..
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Boy:"Agar tum mujh se sacha pyaar karti to kabhi box khol kar check nahi karti..
"I HATE YOU".
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Father watching FTV
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Suddenly SON comes
Father :- Bechari Gareeb Ladkkiya
hain
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kapdo ke liye bhi paise nahi hain
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Son :- inse bhi jyada Gareeb
ladkiya hai CD lau kya???
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Ek Enginiar 2 cigaret pee raha tha.
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Girl - 2 cigaret kyo pee rahe ho.
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Enginiar - dost ki yaad aa gai ek dost ke liye or ek mere.
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kuch din baad Enginiar ek cigaret pee raha tha.
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Girl - ek cigaret pee rahe ho dost ko bhul gaye.
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Enginiar - nahi pagal, mene cigaret peena chod diya......Ye to dost ke liye
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Ek ladka, ladki dekhne gaya..
usne English me baat karne ki sochi aur bola: English chalegi na??
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Ladki sharmate hue: Soda, Namkeen aur leg piece saath me ho to DESI bhi chalegi...
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घर में चोरी की नीयत से घुसे चोर को
पीट-पीट कर बेहोश कर देने पर जब इंस्पेक्टर
ने महिला की तारीफ की तो वह बोली- साहब! इसमें
प्रशंसा की कौन सी बात है?
दरअसल चोर के आने पर मैं समझी थी कि चिंटू के पापा क्लब से लौटे हैं।
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एक अमेरिकी ने एक भारतीय बच्चे से पूछा- तुम कितने साल के हो?
बच्चे ने जवाब दिया- घर पर 14
स्कूल में-12
बस में-10
ट्रेन में- 7
और फेसबुक पर- 18
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Santa: Yaar mein apni girlfriend nu gift dena hai, ki devan?
Banta: Gold ring de de.
Santa: Koi vadi cheez das yaar.
Banta: Tan fer MRF da tyre de de.
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Girlfriend ko I love u bolna hai or recharge khatam. Ab kya kare? Mein batata hoon kya karein. Theke pe jao, quarter lo, 4 peg maro or g/f k ghar k bahar khade ho k jor se chilaao I Luv U. Kabootar mehenga pad jaayega. Rum ka Paua ab sirf 10 RS mein.
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Girl: Do u have any sentimental love cards?
Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says 'To the only boy I ever loved'
Girl: Great! I want 10 of them.
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Ek bar baarish ho rahi thi, ek aadmi chatri lekar ja raha tha, chatri ke upar ek keeda aur keedi khade hue thay, keedi hawa se udd gayi. Keeda bola, "Mitran di chatri to udd gayi, ambran te laundi hain udariyan."
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Maalik: Ramu, iss saal tum 4 bar apne dada ke marne ki chutti le chuke ho.
Ramu: Maalik, iss bar meri dadi ki shaadi hai.
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Chuha to Haathi: tuhadi umar kinni hai?
Haathi: 1 Saal, te teri?
Chuha: Umar ta meri v 1 saal hi hai, par saale nashe patte ne mittran di sehat down jehi karti.
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Rabri: Ka karat ho?
Laalu: Ek dost ko chitthi likhat hu!
Rabri: Par tuhar likhna to aawe nahi.
Laalu: Vo sasura bhi to padhna nahi jaanat.
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An englishman, bihari & punjabi were standing on roof. They decided to throw down whatever was available in excess with them.
Englishman threw pounds, Bihari threw rice & Punjabi threw the Bihari down.
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In a train, ticket checker to a saint: Ticket please!
Saint: I don't have.
TT: Where do you want to go?
Saint: Lord Ram's birth place, Ayodhya!
TT: Come, lets go!
Saint: Where?
TT: Lord Krishna'a birth place, Jail.
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Tum Haste Raho, Nachte Raho, Muskurate Raho, Sada khil khilate Raho, Khush Raho Aur Gungunate Raho, Mera Kya Hai, Log Tumhe Hi Pagal Samzhenge....
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INDIA Ko
Aazaad Hue 57
Sal
Hue
Phir Bhi
No PROGRESS!
why? Kyunki Aaj
Bhi
INDIA Ki
Bholi Janta
KAAM-DHANDHA
Chhod Kar
hamara SMS padh
rahi hai...
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Ik sherni nach rahi si, usnu dekhke thodi door ik chuha vi nach reha si.
Sherni ne puchia ki ho gaya?
Chuha kehnda, "Nachne nu kare mera jee, haye ni tenu nachdi vekh ke".
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Wife: Kya kar rahe ho?
Man: Makkhiya maar rha hu.
Wife: Kitni mari?
Man: 3 male aur 2 female.
Wife: Kaise malum?
Man: Kyonki 3 daru ki botal se chipki thi or 2 phone se...
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Which are the 2 latest versions of java.
Think... think... think...
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Marjava & Mitjava
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Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya. 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha
Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey
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Patient to Doc: Aapne nurse bahut achhi rakhi hai, uska haath lagte hi main theek ho gaya.
Doctor: Jaanta hu, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi.
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Jise koyal samjhe, woh kauwa nikla. Dosti ke naam par hauwa nikla. Jo roka karte they humein sharab peene se, aaj unki jeb se pauwa nikla.
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Medical Shayari
When you breathe, you respire!
Wah Wah!
When you breathe, you respire!
Wah Wah!
When you don't breathe, you expire!
Wah Wah, kya baat hai!
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What is the height of telling a lie?
A negro telling his girlfriend, "tenu kaala chasma jachda hai, jachda hai gore mukhde te"
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If I was an artist,
you would be my picture!
If I was a poet,
you would be my inspiration!
If I was an author you would be my story!
But I'm only a cartoonist!
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Can v do romance in the evening today?
I'm in a good mood
Just a little bit of kissing and biting
reply me soon!
urs lovingly
"MOSQUITO"
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Maa-Nalayak Kaha Thi Itni Raat Tak?
Beti-Boyfriend Ke Saath,
Maa-Kar Aayi Na Muh Kala,
Beti-Toh Kya Hua Maa Fair & Lovely Hai Na. .
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Har Khushi Teri Taraf Mod Doo
Tere Liye Chand Tare Tak Tod Doo
Khushiyon Ke Darwaje Tere Liye Khol Doon,
Itna Kaafi Hai ya Do Chaar Jhoot Aur Bol Doo
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Patient: Doctor, yeh mera pehla operation hai. thoda dhyaan se karna.
Doctor: dara mat. yeh mera bhi pehla operation hai
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Pati: mere marne ke baad, kyaa tum doosri shaadi karogi?
Patni: nahi. main apni behan ki saath rahungi. aap?
Pati: main bhi tumhaare behan ke saath rahunga
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One day RAVAN went to disco... aur woh behosh ho gaya, due to shock.....!
why.....?? " Coz the entry fee was Rs. 1500 per HEAD...!!!
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1 Sardar library me 3 Ghante 1 Book padhne k Baad bola
SO BORING itne sare characters but no story.
Librarian-
Sardar Ji, wo TELEPHONE DIARY thi.
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Ekbar ek sharabi ja raha tha achanak kichchad me gir gaya itneme bijli chamki sharabi bola he bhagwan ek to kichchad me gira diya aur photo bhi khinch liya
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Sante Ne Blade De Naal Apni Girlfriend Da Naa Apne Hath Te Likheya
5 Minute Baad Jor Jor Di Ron Lageya.
Banta: Oh Kahnu Ronda Oye?
Santa: Maitho Spelling Galat Ho Gayi Naa Di…
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Arz Karda Haan, Ohna Di Gali To Gujre
Taan Ohna Da Chobara Nazar Aaya,
Wah Ji Wah…
Ohda Baapu Bahar Aa Ke Boleya,
Hath Pair Tod Devanga, Je Fer Nazar Aaya
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Doctor: is dawaa ko ek hafte main poora karo aur baad main aake milo.
Patient: teek hai doctor
(ek hafte ke baad)
Doctor: dawaa khatam huaa kya?
Patient: nahi doctor.
Doctor: kyu nahi?
Patient: usme likhaa thaa ke, bottle ko hamesha bandh rakhe
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Pappu Paperan Ch Fail Ho Gaya, Es Gall Te Baapu Ne Keha, Apne Padosh Aali Kudi Nu Dekh, Class Ch First Aayi Hai.
Oh Baapu Ohnu Hi Taan Dekhta Si, Taan Hi Taan Fail Ho Gaya…
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Santa & Banta Saffar Te Ja Rhe See, Raste Wichoh Raat Ho Gye
Te Oh Tent Lga Ke So Gye,
Raat Nu Banta Di Akh Khuli
Ohne Santa Nu Jaga Ke Kiha Asman Wal Dekh Ke Dass Tainu Ki Nazar Aa
Riha Hai Santa Boliya Bhut Sare Sittare
Banta Is To Ki Patta Lagda Hai
Santa: Assman Bhut Hi Khubsurat Hai Te Roshni B Hai
Banta: Oye Kanjra, Koi Sada Tent Putt Ke Lai Gya Hai
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Ek Bache Di Nani Us Nu Sula Rahi C, Te Keh Rahi C Soja Degree Soja!
Tan Pdosan Ne Puchea Esnu Degree Kio Bula Rahi Hai
Tan Usne Keha,
Meri Kudi Chandigarh Degree Lain Gai C Aah Lai K Aa Gai…
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Ik Din Santa Mandir Gya, Lok Bhajan Ga Rhe C:
“Darshan De Gariban Nu, Darshan De Gariban Nu”…
Sante Di Nuh Da Na “Darshan Rani” Si, Santa Nu Gussa Aa Gya,
Te Oh Bhi Bhajan Gaaun Lagga, “Darshan Mere Munde Di Bahu,
Oh Ta Mere Munde Di Rhu , Baki Gal Nasiban Di, Evein Kiven Gariban Di”
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Customer: Mujhe phone per dhamkiya mill rahi hai.
Police: Kaun hai woh jo aapko dhamkiya de raha hai?
Customer: Telephone wale bolte hai ke, “Bill nahi bharoge toh kaat denge.”
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Bahut Kuch Ditta Eh Rabba Tu Mainu, Bass Ik Meharbani Hor Karde
Ja Tah Milaade Mainu Yaar Mere Naal, Nhi Tah Botal Whisky Di Mere Moohre Dharde
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Ek conductor ki shadi ho rahi thi, jab Dulhn phero ke waqt uske pas akar baithi to vo bola thoda pas ho k baith, ek sawari or baith sakti hai.
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Tu sohni tera na sohni, par tu sohni ban ke na dikha saki,
sohni ta kache ghadde te v tarr ke aa gi C, Te tu Three Wheeler te vi na aa saki!!!
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Ik Darzi Lokan De Kappde Lai Ke Faraar Ho Geya
Koi Kehenda Meri Pant,
Koi Kehenda Meri Shirt,
Sante Ne Ronde Hoye Keha Ke Oh Mera Napa Lai Geya…
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Ek Aurat ki aankh sooji hui thi
padosan: kua hua
aurat : pati ne mara
padosan: lekin tumhare pati to delhi gaye hue the,
Aurat : maine bhi yahi socha tha. Lekin wo bed ke niche nikle.
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Do bewkoof ek naav mein safar kar rahe the,
tabhi nadi men tufan shuru hua to,
ek ghabrakar bola- ye naav doob jayegi to?
dusra: dubne de.
Inn saalo ne kiraya bahut badha rakha h. ab maja aayega.
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