STORY
VIDEOS
NON VEG
Chor aya , Tijori par likha tha
"Todne ki zaroorat nahi button dabao, khul jayegi"
Button dabate hi Police aa gayi.
Police : Tumko kuch apni safai me kehna hai ?
Chor : Maa kasam aaj insaniyat se vishwas uth gaya..
1 
Drinkers Gang
Aaj tab tak piyenge jab tak woh saamne wale 3 ped
6 nahi dikhte
Bar tender- Bas karo kamino, saamne 1 hi ped hai,Ab kya jungle banaoge.
1
Proffesr said :- jo koi ladka girls hostel geya to 1 Time
Rs. 100 fine,2 time
200 & 3 time 500 fine lgna.
Punjabi Student boleya Sir ji PASS kine da banu. Lolz
1
Heart melting love story:
Boy: I can't marry u.
My family is totally against it.
Girl: Who r they 2 stop u?
Boy: My wife & 2 kids.
1
Ek bar santa ,Radio lekar khet me potti karne gaya.
vaps raste mai....
Banta: Oye sardar ji Aaj to maje se ki hogi?
Santa Gusse se :Oye Khak maje se ki, radio pe Jan-Gan-Man aa gaya. Khade khade karni padi.
1
Sardar said to doctor:
Poore jism main
kahin bhi ungli lagao to bohat dard hota hai,
Doctor suggested full body Xray,
when he checked Xray,
Found fracture in “Ungli”
1
Nawaz Sharif: Modi Ji, how can we improve relations.
Modi: By exchange programs. We'll send Mayavati to Pak, you send Hina Rabbani to India.
1
Dukandar- bolo Sahab, kya Chaahiye ?
Aadmi : hone wali Biwi ke Kutte ke liye Cake lene aaya hoon..
milega kya ??
Dukandar : haan.. per yahi Khaaoge ya Pack Kar doon ??
1
1 Ladka aur Ladki Pahaadon Ki Taraf Ghoomne Gaye..
Boy: Ye Wo Pahaad Hai Jahan insaan Apna Naam Zor Se Pukaare toh Jawaab Mein
Pahaad Uske Lover Ka Naam Leta Hai..
Boy Zor Se Apna Naam Leta Hai: Prateeeeeekkk! ....!
Pahaad Se Awaaz Aati Hai:
Seemmmaaaa
Seeemmmaaaa!!
Girl Ye Sunn Kar Bahot Khush Hoti Hai..
Phir Wo Bhi Zor Se Pukaarti Hai:
Seemmmmaaaa!! Pahaad Se Awaaz Aati Hai:
Aman..
Kushal..
Rajesh..
Rishi
Saahil..
Abhinav..
Tushar..
Abhiraj..
Manoj..
Jayesh..
Aashu..
Taahir..
Vikaas Aur
Prateek !!
Aur Phir Ladka Behosh.
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KID :- Why some of ur hair are white dad ?
DAD : – Every time you make me unhappy , one of my hair turns white …..
KID :- Now understand why grandpa’s hairs are all white …..
Moral :- Don’t be over smart ..
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Child : Mummy why Gandhiji has no hair on his head?
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Mummy : Because he speak only truth.
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Child: Now I understud why ladies have long hair....
1
Why are boys So CarelesS & Irresponsible..?
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BecauSe !
They Know that Some where-,
A Sweet & Innocent girl is
learning to be responsible For them.....!!
1
2010- kya aapke toothpast me namak hai....
2013- kya aapke toothpast me namak or
nimbu hai?
2016- kya aapke toothpast me
namak ,nimbu or chatmasala hai.....
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2020- Dal fry special masala wala
collgate ,leamon tea wid bskt flav.
Collgate,mix veg. Spicy Collgate...
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2021- kya aapke muh me dant hai...nahi!!
To le aaiye ready made Collgate teeth...
1
Husband aadhi raat ko apni MOTI Biwi ko jaga ke bola...
Ghut Ghut Ke Marna Sahi Hai, Ya fir Ekdum Se mar jana...???
Biwi: Ekdum Se mar jana accha hota hai...!!
Husband : To Apni Dusri TAANG Bhi Mujhpe Rakh de, aur Kissa Khatam Kar mera !!!
1
School inspection. External teacher asked question to Raju, name any famous Indian scientist.
Raju said Alia Bhat.
Ext Teacher frustrated and asked school teacher, what is this ? Are you teaching like this ?
School teacher said, Sir Raju bechara totala hain.
He was trying to say
AryaBhat
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Pappu apni girlfriend se bola:
Ameer se Ameer aadmi bhi mere pitaaji ke saamne katora lekar khada rehta hai !
Girlfriend : Phir to tumhare pitaji bahut ameer honge !
Pappu : Nahin, woh paani-puri bechte hain
1
🐼 Joke of 2014🌿
Boy dialled his own number from his
Girlfriend’s cell-
to see how his name was saved in her mobile like 'love', 'darling' or 'jaanu' or some more sweeter name...
He was Shocked to see...
"Recharge Wale Bhaiya!!!
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Husband in good mood.
Darling, remember 25 years ago ....I had a rented one room apartment.., a table fan.., a black & white tv ..and a cycle to use...
But, at night I used to sleep besides a 25 yrs old beautiful girl..
Now I own a luxurious centrally a/c bungalow..., 4 LED TVs... & a limousine ...
but I sleep with a 50 yrs old woman…
Wife: Dont worry... Just find yourself a 25 yrs old beautiful woman...
& I will make sure that you go back to your 1 room rented apartment,... table fan, ...black & white TV ..and cycle.
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Police: R u married?
Santa: Yes, with a woman.
Police : Of course! Did u even hear of anyone marrying a man?
Santa: Yes, my sister did....!!!😀
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--Signboard outside a..
PATHOLOGY Clinic--
For you it may be your Urine & Potty...
but
for us, it is our Dal & Roti...!!!
😀
One day I asked my Heart......
What is love ?
Heart Replied:
Dekh bhai apna kaam blood supply karna hai...! syllabus ke baahar ka mat pucch...... ------------------------------
Senapati: Sorry to sound pessimistic Maharaj, Par hum Mugal Hain, Google Nahi !!!
1
In Punjab :
What do you call a guy who drinks BEER with his team??? . . . DALBEER !!!
What do yo u call a guy who drinks with his complete khandan ... ... ??? . . . Kulbeer ! ! !
What do you call a guy who drinks only on "Holy" days... ... ??? . . Dharambeer
What do you call a guy who drinks for eternal bliss... ... ??? . . Sukhbeer ! ! !
What do you call a guy who drinks BEER with his 7friends??? . . Satbeer!!!
What do you call a guy who drinks only BEER ???
. .
JUSBEER ! ! !
What do you call a guy who drinks while running ... ... ??? .
. Ranbeer ! ! !
What do you call a guy one who drinks the most... ??? . . Parambeer !!!;)
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A drunk man arrives late at home.
He knows his wife won't open the door, so he decides to pretend he bought her flowers & knocks at the door. .
Wife: Who is it ?
Drunk: I bring flowers for the pretty lady. .
Wife opens the door & says: Where are the flowers ?
Drunk: Where is the pretty lady ?
1
Chitragupt's Problem :
One day Chitragupt told Brahma that he should
stop this scheme that
if ladies keep Karva Chauth
they will get the same husband for the next 7 janams.
Brahma asked : ” Why ”
Chitragupt : '' Prabhu, it's becoming difficult to manage.
The ladies want the same husband and
The husbands want a new wife.
Its A Problem To convince both.......”
Brahma : '' But this can’t be stopped.
It’s been going on since times Immemorial......”
Just then Narad Muni comes and he suggested :
” On earth there is a great person called Santa Singh.
Ask him for a Solution........”
Chitragupt meets Santa Singh
In one minute Santa Singh solves the Problem :
He Advised Chitragupt :
”Any lady who wants the same husband
will also get the same
MOTHER IN LAW...... "
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Husband wife both die in a car crash. Husband becomes bhoot. Wife becomes Dayan.
They both meet after some time.
Wife: Kitne changed lag rahe ho bhoot bankar.
Husband: pagli, Par tum bilkul nahi badli. Still the same.
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I am not addicted to Facebook.
I only use it when I have
time . . . . . . . . . lunch time,
break time, bed time, this
time, that time, any time, all
the time.
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Fakeer: 1 rupia dede baba
Aadmi: Sharam nai ati itnay hattay kattay khubsurat nojawan ho k bheek mangtay ho
Fakeer: Acha pher apni behan ka rishta day de.
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2 sharabiyon ne talab me chand ki parchhayi dekhi
1st- ye kya hai?
2nd-abe ye chand hai
1st-sale ghar chal hum mazak mazak me chand par pahuch gaye
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Master: Kanjoos bole to kaun
Student: Hum chahe jitne bhi ‘SMS’ kare uska ‘reply’ jo na kare vo
Master: Uski ek example do
Student: aapki ki beti
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Girl: Ye rate ye hawaye ye chandni ye ghataye ye nadiya ye kinare
BF: Abe tu pyar kr rahi he ya mausam ki jankari de rahi he
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1child 1rs ka coin kha gaya. Kuch din baad potty mei uska coin bahar aa gya to child maa se bola-
Aaj bahut din bad fasi hui payment mili hai.
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Ek Ladki Bolne Wala Tota Kharidne Gai
Ladki Totay Se:Main Kaisi Lagti Hoon?
Tota:Awara Lagtee Ho
Larki:Tota Badtameez Hai
Dukandaar Ne Tote Ko Pani Me Dubaya Aur Pocha: Gaali Dega?
Tota :Nahi
Ladki:Agar Mere Ghar Par Mere Sath Ek Admi Aae To Tum Kya Sochoge
Tota:Tumahra Pati Hoga
Larki:Agar 2 Admi Ho To?
Tota:Pati Aur Devar
Larki:Agar 3 Ho?
Tota:Pati Devar Aur Bhai
Larki:Agar 4 Ho To?
Tota:Pani Le Aao Mene Pehle Hi Kaha Tha Ke Awara Hai
1
Doctor: tabiyat kaisi hai ab
Mariz: pehle se zayada kharab hai
Doctor: dawai kha li thi
Mariz: nahi dawa ki bottle to bhari hui thi
Doctor: I mean dawai lay li thi
Mariz: ji aap ne di thi to mein ne lay li thi
Doctor: bewakuf dawai pee li thi
Mariz: nahi jee dawai to laal thi
Doctor: abe gadhe dawai ko pi liya tha
Mariz: nahi sahab piliya to mujhe tha icon smile New Funny Facebook Status and Jokes in Hindi
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Innocent baby handling his crush-
Main tumhe bhulne ki bahut koshish karta hoon..
Par kya karoon mummy roz badaam khila deti hai aur tumhari yaad
fir aa jati hai icon wink New Funny Facebook Status and Jokes in Hindi
1
Mareez Nurse se: paani pilao.
Nurse: kya pyaas lagi hai..?
Mareez ghussay se:
nahi, gala check karna hai
leak to nahi… icon biggrin New Funny Facebook Status and Jokes in Hindi
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Boy- Mere sath chalogi
Girl- kaha?
Boy-jaha tum kaho.
Girl-ok ! police station chalte hain.
Boy-lo batao ab banda apni bahen se mazak bhi nhi kr skta..
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Boy- Mere sath chalogi
Girl- kaha?
Boy-jaha tum kaho.
Girl-ok ! police station chalte hain.
Boy-lo batao ab banda apni bahen se mazak bhi nhi kr skta..
1
Ek pagal dusere se: Yaar tuzhe pata he Bharat or Hindustan ke bich jang chid gaye he
Dusra pagal: Tu chinta kyu karta he be, hum to India me rehte he.
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Bachcha: Papa mujhe baaja dilao
Papa: Nahi, tum sabko tang karo ge
Bachcha: Nahi papa kasam se jab sab so jayenge tab me bajaunga
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Girl: Ye rate ye hawaye ye chandni ye ghataye ye nadiya ye kinare
BF: Abe tu pyar kr rahi he ya mausam ki jankari de rahi he
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Jyotishi Monu ka hath dekhar: Beta tum bahut padhoge
Monu: Padh to mai 3 saal se raha hu, yeh batao ki pass kab hunga
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Ek sharabi roz shiv mandir mein matha tekta tha!
Ek din pujari ne Shivji ki jagah Ganesh ki murti rakhi
Sharabi aaya, bola “Chhotu! Papa se kehna uncle aaye the”
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Gabbar-ye hath muje dede thakur
Thakur-nai
In hatho se me dosto ko msgs krta hu
Yejo is waqt msg padh raha h is ke hath lele
Ye kabhi msg nai krta
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1 medical student ne apni classmate ko khoon se luv letter dekar kaha, muje iska jawab jarur dena
Ladki: Tumhara blood group A+ he or calcium ki kami he
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Ladka apni dilruba se poochta hai, “Kya pyaar karna paap hai?”
Ladke ka dost uske kaan mein bolta hai, “Abbey patli gali pakad peeche uska baap hai”
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Baap: Tipu sultan kaun tha?
Beta: Pata nahi
Baap: School jao to pata chale
Beta: Ramesh uncle kaun hai?
Baap: Pata nahi
Beta: Ghar par raho to pata chale
1
In park, a boy & girl were sitting!
2 dogs kissed each other
Boy- Jaanu agar tum bura na mano, to main bhi..
Girl- Ok! Par sambhalkar! Kutta kaat lega
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Teacher: Batao bachcho, jo galat kaam karte he wo kaha jate he?
Student: Sharmate huye bole sir, Central park, Victoria, Nalbaan, Millenium park
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Papa: Aaj tak tune aisa koi kam nhi kiya jisse mera sar uncha hua ho
Beta: Maine ek bar aapke sar k neeche 2 takiye lagaye to the
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Shaadi ke doosre din beti apni maa se, Aaj meri unse bahut ladai ho gayi!
Maa: Beti shaadi me jhagde to hote rehte hain!
Beti: Wo sab to theek hai! Par ab LAASH ka kya karoon?
1
Mama ne nayi swift car li,
Swift car k peche likhwaya
“Saawan Ko Aane Do”
Peche se truck ne thok diya,
Truck par likha tha
“aaya saawan jhoom ke”
1
Judge Mujrim Se:Tumhari Akhri Khuwaish Kya Hai ?
Mujrim:Jyada nahi, Ek Mobile Nokia N73, 5 Crore Rupey, Aap Ki Beti Se Shadi, U.S.A Ka Visa aur Ek Private Jet.
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Ek pagal khali paper ko bar bar choom raha tha
Doosra pagal: Ye kya hai?
Pahla: Love letter he
Doosra: Magar ye to khali he
Pahla: Aaj kal bol chaal band he icon smile New Funny Facebook Status and Jokes in Hindi
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