STORY
VIDEOS
NON VEG
Life me meri 2 batein
hamesha yaad rakhna
1..... jb hawa chalti hai
to
patte hilte hain,
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2....... jb hawa nahi
chalti
to patte nahi hilte :P
ab thnx mat bolna :D
jb tak mai hu info milti
rahegi :v :v
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santa Prays Daily For 2
Hours
"Hey bhagwan Meri
Lottery Lagade.
After 11 Yrs bhagwan
Angrily Appears &
Says
-Oey Uloo De Pathay
Ticket To Le Le.
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2 Aurten 1 ped (tree) k neeche bethi kafi
dair se baate kr rahi thi k achanak
Ped se 1 Aam gira
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Pehli Aurat - Ye Aam kese gira?
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Dusri Aurat kuch bolne hi wali thi k
Aam khud hath jod kr bola - Pak gaya hun mein tum dono ki baten
sun sun kar :P :D
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Pappu Apne Papa Santa k Sath Raat ko Taxi me ja raha tha.
Bus Stand pe Bahot Sari Call Girls khadi thi.
Pappu - Papa,ye ladkiya itni raat ko yaha q khadi hai.
Santa - beta, ye apne Pati ka intazaar kar rahi hai.
Taxi Driver - Bachche ko sach q nhi bata dete.
(Taxi Driver bache ko sab sach sach bata deta hai ki ye ladkiya kya karti hai)
Santa ko driver k upar bahot gussa aaya.
Pappu - Papa ye sach hai
Santa (gusse se) - ha
Pappu - Papa, in Girls k Bachcho ka kya hota hai.
Santa - Beta,Vo bade hoke Taxi Driver Ban jate hai :D :D
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Nursery k student Pappu ne
exam sheet pe Tatti kar
diya,
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.Teacher:Ye kya kiya
hai ?
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Pappu :Mummy ne
kaha tha ki pehle jo aa
raha he wahi karna!!! Bas kar
diya.... :p :D
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Example of a girl's brain
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wife:" Ghar nahi aa sakti...
Car ka stearing, gear, break sab
...
chori ho gaye "..
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After 1hour,
SHe calls back "Aa rahi hu,
galti se pichli seat
pe baith gayi thi"...
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:::: Height of Flirting ::-
Gal calls a boy :
Girl: Hello baby
Boy: Ohh janu bolo
Girl: Kahan ho yar subah se koi
ata pata nahi!
Boy: Are hum to khoye hue hain
aapki aankhon me..
Girl: Abhi kya kar rahe ho?
Boy: tumhari pic dekh raha hun,
kahin aur man hi nahi lag raha..
Girl: Maine to tumhe koi pic di hi
nahi!!
Boy: Are mere dil me chapi hai
barson se..
Girl: But hum to parson hi mile
hain!!
Boy: Tumhare bina har ek pal
barson hai Pinky......
Girl: Pinky??!! Ye pinky kaun hai ??
main to nisha hun!!
Boy: Tumse bat karke mai to sab
bhul jata hun..
Girl: Tum prashant ho na??
Boy: Gharwale to aseem bulate
hain, lekin wo galat ho sakte hain
tum nahi..
Girl: Ye 998XXXXXX hai na??
Boy: Ab tak nahi tha par ab se
yehi hai…
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Pappu Bhikhari (Car me bethi
lady se):"Madam 10 Rs
dedo..
Lady ne paise de diye..
Pappu Bhikhari jane laga tabi
lady boli:" Baba Dua To Dete Jao..
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Pappu Bhikhari:" Car Me To Baithi Hai Moti....Ab Kya
"Rocket Pe Baithegi":p :D :O :/
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Small boy Pappu 2 a girl--
Main tumhe honton se kuch kar ke dikhaun?
Girl : No 5th cls k baad
Pappu : ab kar k dikhaun
Girl : Metric k baad
Pappu : Ab?
Girl : No, F.Sc k baad
Pappu : ab??
Girl : Nhi B.Sc k baad
Pappu: Plz ab honton se kuch kar k dikhaun?
Girl : No, Shaadi k baad
Shaadi k baad Pappu says
ab karun?
Girl - Yes Yes Ab karo
Pappu :
BuUuRrRrMmM.... .:-P
BuuUrrrRRrrMMmm M
mMmM:-OB-)
BuuuuuuuUrrrrrr rRRRRrrrrrmmmMM MMMMmmmm:-@
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When Steve Jobs died,
news channels ran
snippets on his life all
day
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When Shammi Kapoor
died, we were l
bombarded with clips
from his old movies.
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When Jagjit Singh died,
we could hear nothing
but his old ghazals all
day across all channels
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Intezaar toh ab bas
Sunny Leone k marne
ka hai.
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*Aaj-Kal k Kamine
bacche*
must read....
Baccha: Mom mai kaise
paida hua..?
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Mom: Aasmaan se Ek
Pari aai wo tumhe meri
Goad me rakh k chali
gyi...
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Baccha: Kyun.? Ab wo
Suhaag Raat wala
system khatam ho gya
kya..?
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sunil : : Mere Paas Mohsin K Paas
Jaisi
Car To Nahin
Par Tumhe Apni Palkon Pe Bitha
ke
Ghumaunga!
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Mere Paas Mohsin ke Jaisa Bada
Bangla To Nahin Par Tumhe Apne
Dil Mein Jagah Dunga
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Mere Paas Mohsin ke Jitne Paise
To
Nahin Par Main Mehnat Kar ke
Khilaunga
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Aur Tumhe Kya Chahiye..?
Girl : : Dimag ki maa bhen mat
kar .!!! Mohsin Ka Number de :D :P
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Pappu ka Padosi Mar Gaya:"Wo Uske
Ghar Gaya or Pucha:"Body Aa Gayi
Kya.. ??
Tabhi Body Lekar Ambulance Aa
Gayi..
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Pappu:"Lo Batao,
Kitni Lambi Umar Hai..:p
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Ek Ladki,
ek din Art Gallery dekhne Jati Hai
Aur
Ek Tasveer Dekhkar,
Gallery Ke Malik Se Kahti Hai:
Ladki : iss Bhayanak Tasveer Ko Aap Modern Art Kehte Ho !?
Maalik : Meri Maa
Tu Dimag Mat Laga,
Ghar Jaa,
Ye Aaina ( mirror ) Hai.
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Girls Collage me Strike ho gayi,
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Sabhi girls Naare Laga rahi hai...
Boys bhi pichhe khade reh kar Girls ka saath de rahe the..
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Girls Naare lagate huye.. "HAMARI MAANGE"
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Piche se Awaaz Aayi,
"SINDUR SE BHARO"
"SINDUR SE BHARO...." :P
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Premi ne apni premika ke fone par missed call kia,
keval yaha dekhane liye ki usne uska number kis naam se save kia he?
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Screen par naam aaya-
'Murga No.5'
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Ladki ne boy frnd ko fone kiya to uss ke bhanje ne fone uthaya.
Ladki:
Apne uncle ko fon do.
Bacha:
Aap ka name?
Ladki:
Apne uncle se kaho unn ki Jaan-e man ka fone hai.
jawab mein bachhey ne jo kaha usse sunn kar larki behosh ho gayi.
uss ne masumiyat se kaha:
"lekin aunty mobile pe to "Ramesh Plumber ki Beti"likha hua tha..;)
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Pappu Apne Dost K Ghr Se
Apne Ghar Jane Laga
To
Bahar Barish Ho Rahi Thi . .
Dost: Aj Mere Pas Hi Ruk Jao
Barish Bohat Tez He
Pappu : Ok
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Dost Ne Bistar Lagaya Or
Dkha To Pappu Ghayab Tha.
1 Ghante Bad Pappu Bheegta Hua Aya Or
Kehne Laga. . .
'Yaara Me Ghr Walo Ko Btane
Gaya Tha K Aj Barish Ki Waja Se
Me Ghr Nhi Aa Sakunga'
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Darvaza khola to saamp nikla.....
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Arj kiya hai.....
Darvaza khola to saamp nikla.....
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ACP bola DAYA:-ye anna to rajnika@nt ka bhi baap nikla.
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Alok Nath went to Vaishno Devi for his bachelors
party with his family. :P :D
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Salman Khan is vrgin because He fell in love
with Alok Nath's daughter in his first movie as a
hero. :P :D
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When Alok Nath was born, nurse greeted his father by
saying- " Badhai ho BABUJI hue hain." :P :D
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Alok Nath wants twitter and facebook to add
'Aashirwad' button. :P :D
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Ek chor - chori kar ke,
Ghar se ja
raha tha
ki ... bacche ki aankh khul
gayi ...
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aur baccha bola -
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School bag bhi le ja
Kamine, varna
shor macha dunga ..
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A Good Teacher Is Who Tells To Study Hard...
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But,,
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A Best Teacher Is Who Stands Outside The Examination Hall N Shouts.
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"OYE CHECKING WALE AA GAYE APNI APNI PARCHI CHUPA LO .
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Biwi Market se Loti
Pati: "Mera Andaza yeh keh raha
Hai
Ki is Box Me Koi Khane Ki
Cheez
Hai..
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Patni: "Are wah mere Pati -
... Parmeshwar Aap Ne Bilkul
Sahi
Andaza Lagaya
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Is Me Mere Sandal Hai
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Ek Kanjoos Ke Ghar Mehmaan Aaye Hue The..
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Kanjoos: Thanda Pioge Ya Garam...!! ??
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Mehmaan : Thanda...!!!
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Kanjoos : Juice Ya Coldrink...!! ??
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Mehmaan : Coldrink...!!
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Kanjoos : Bottle Mein Pioge Ya Glass Mein...!! ??
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Mehmaan: Glass Mein...!!!
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Kanjoos : Simple glass Mein Ya Design Wala...!! ??
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Mehmaan: Design Wala...!!!
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Kanjoos: Lines Wala Ya
Flowers Wala...!! ??
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Mehmaan: Flowers Wala...!!!
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Kanjoos : Gulaab Wala Ya Chameli Wala...!! ??
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Mehmaan : Chameli Wala...!!
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Kanjoos : Sorry Yaar Hamare Ghar Mein Aisa Glass Nahi Hai....!!
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Ek Ameer Ladki ko School me
Garib Parivar pe Essay Likhne ko Kahaa Gya.
Essay me usne Likha:
Ek Garib Parivar tha,
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Pita Garib, Maa Garib, Bachche Garib.
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Parivar me 4 Naukr the, wo bhi Gareeb..!
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Car bhi Tooti hui SAFARI thi..!
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Unka Garib Driver Bachon
ko Tooti Car me School Chhod K Aata tha..! x)
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Bachon K paas Purane Samsung S3 Mobile the..!
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Bache Hafte me 4 bar hi
Chicken Khate the..!
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Ghar me 4 hi 2nd Hand A.C. the..!
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Sara Parivar Badi Mushkil se
Aish Kar raha tha.
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Ek ladki 18th floor se gir padi..
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13th floor pe 1 ladke ne catch kar liya or pocha
mujhse pyar karogi..
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Ladki:" no,, Ladke ne usey chhor diya.
9th floor pe 1 aur ladke ne catch kiya or pucha
mujhe kiss karogi..
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Ladki:" no, Usne bhi chhor diya..
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Ladki cheekhen marti hui 1 aur chance ki dua
karne lagi..
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3th floor pe aate aate Pappu ne catch kar liya..
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Ladki foran boli:" mai tumse pyar bhi krungi aur kiss bhi karungi"
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Pappu ne usey foran chor diya or bola
Pappu:"
Characterless girl, Isse accha to tu mar jaye
"Main sareef banda hu ye galat kaam hargiz nahi karunga..
Moral - Har ladka kamina nahi hota.
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Students k Dard ko University Kya Jane
College K Riwajon ko Parents Kya Jane
Hoti hai Kitni Taqlif 1 Paper Likhne Main
Wo Paper Check Karne Wala Kya Jane….
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Movie titles related to engg students:
exams – socha na tha,
classes – kabhi kabhi,
question papers – na tum jano na hum,
copying – yaarana,
maths2 – asambhav,
maths1 – mission impossible,
environmental sciences – pyar mein kabhi kabhi,
1st semester – kuch to hai,
2nd semester – yeh kya ho raha hai,
distinction – kal ho na ho,
1st class – raju bangaya gentleman,
2nd class – dil mange more
fail – phir milenge
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Question: Collage Me Ladkiyo Ke Kitne Naam Hote Hai?
Ans: 4
1 Tere Wali
2 Mere Wali
3 Teri bhabhi
4 Meri bhabhi
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Teacher: Dhobi ka kutta na ghar ka na ghat ka
ab aisa 1 aur sentence banao..
Student: Sania ka baccha na india ka na pakistan ka!
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Father to his son- How was the paper?
Son- bas pehla sawal chut gaya.
Father- acha,aur baki?
Son- 3rd mujhe ata nahi tha,
4th main karna bhul gya,
5th mujhe nazar nahi aya nd 6th paper ki pichli taraf tha meine dekha nahi.
Father gusse me bola- aur 2nd ques?
Son- bas sirf wahi galat hua hai!
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Teacher: Galti hone pe maafi magne wale ko kya kahte hai?
Stud: Samajhdar
Teacher: Aur galti na hone pe bhi mafi mangne waale ko kya kahte hai?
Stud: BOYFRIEND
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GODS are also I.T. Engineers
BRAHMA
System installer
VISNU
System supporter
SHIV
System Programmer
NAARAD
Data transfer
YAM
Deleter
MENKA
Virus!
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Principal- I tried ur number so many times,
it said switched off..
STUDENT said : ya… it’s my CALLER TUNE
Principal shock!
Student Rock!
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Fees maafi ke liye Application:
To
The Principal
High school
Sir,
Baat ye hui k mere Dad ne mujhe fees k liye 2000 rupe Diye the, 500 ki dosto k sath film dekh li, 500 ki drink ho gayi,
500 ka girlfrind ka recharge karwana pad gaya fir usko 250 ki coffee pilai, aur bache 250 english wali mam pe shart har gaya…
Mein samjhta tha ki unka sirf maths ke sir ke saath chakkar hai par unka to aapse bhi chakar nikla,
ab aapke paas 2 hi raste haia…
Ya to meri fees maaf ya aapka pardafaash..
Asha karta hun meri fees maaf ho jayegi…
Aapka pyara
Vidyarthi..
Chappal Chor Das
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Laloo to Rabri: Agar tum batao ki is bag ke andar kya hai, to sare eggs tumare, agar tum batao kitne eggs to 8 ke 8 tumare, aur agar tum bata do ke ande kiske hai to woh murgi bhi tumari.
Rabri: Laloo Ji, koi hint to do na plz?
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Breaking news...
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Rajnikanth ko ek chiti ne kat liya..
Pure tamilnadu ki chitiya lapata hai...:P
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Alok nath School mein
Answer sheet Khaali Chhod Aate The.
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Isliye ke kahi teachers Ye Na Kahe,
"Dekho Aaj Ke Bacche Bado Ko Jawaab Dete Hain"
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That is called Sanskar :P
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Alok nath ka Pota Maths Me Fail Ho Gaya Qki Alok Nath Ne uski AlgeBRA Ki Book fadd Di thi :P
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Alok nath itne sanskaari hai ki vo apne hath kabi nahi dhote qki hath dhone se Germs Mar jate hai :P
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Ek Ladka aur ek Ladki Park me ek Ped ki
Niche Baithe the, Tabhi Alok Nath
aakar unse bola : Beta Kya ye Hamari Sanskriti
hai,
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Boy: Nahi Uncle ye to Meri Pooja hai, Aapki
Sanskriti Kisi aur Ped ke Niche hogi :P
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Girl= Janu So Jao Na Dekho Rat Ke 2 Baj Rahy Hain.,
B0y= Neend Nahi Aa Rahi.,
Girl= Jan Q Itna Sochty Ho Mere Bary Mein,
Itna Pyar Karty Ho Mujh Sey.
Main Tumhari Hi To Hoon.,
B0y=
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Oye chal ja apna kam kar Chudail ...
Mujhe "PAPER" ki Tension Lagi padhi hai
or tujhe apni Ishaq ki
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Pati-patni highway par car se ja rhe the
tbi ek police wale ne roka
Pati: kya hua sir ?
Police wala: is road pe 55 speed limit h or
aap 75 ki speed se car drive kr rhe ho
Pati: nhi sir, me to 55 speed par tha
wife: nhi dear, tum 80 ki pseed par the
(pati ne gusse pe patni ki taraf dekha)
police : car ki piche ki light b tuti hui h, uska b challan hoga
pati:nhi sir, light tuti hui nhi h
patni : darling, tume pata nhi h kya ?
light to 3 hafte pehle hi tut gai thi, jab me car park kr rhi thi
Police :aapne seat belt b nhi lagai, iski b penalty lagegi
Pati: nhi sir, mene lagai thi,
par jab aapne car roka to usi samay belt hata diya
patni :darling q juth bol rhe ho ?
tumne to aaj tak kbi seat belt nhi lagai :P
pati se ye sab bardasht nhi hua .. wo patni pe jor se chillaya:
are kambakht band kr apna muh, itni der se bakwas kiye ja rhi h :/
police: madam,
kya aap k pati aap k sath hamesha aise hi badtamizi krte h kya?
patni:nhi sir, hamesha nhi
kewal tbhi jab ye sharab pite h :P :D
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Girl-Friend: “Chalo Chupan-Chupai Khelte Hain, Agar Tumne Mujhe Dhund Liya To Tum Meri Le Lena Aur Agar Tumne Nahi Dhunda To Main Tumhari Loongi”
Boy-Friend: “Theek Hai, Lekin Ek Baat Bataao Tum Meri Kaise Logi?”
Girl-Friend Muskurate Hue: “Hum Shopping Chalenge Na“
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3 Dost bike se jaa rahe the
traffic wale ne roka or bola tumhe malum nahi 3 sawari chalna zurm hai.
1 Dost Pappu bola hame malum hai isliye to 1 ko ghar chhodne ja rahe hai.
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1 Saasu maa Apne 3 Damado ka pyar dekhne ke liye dariya me kud gayi
1st damad ne bacha liya... . . Saas ne use Car di
2nd day fir kudi.2nd damad ne bachaya, to bike mili.
3rd day fir kudi . . .3rd damad ne socha "Cycle hi reh gayi hai, kya fayda" Aur saas doob gayi.
Agle din us damad ko Mercedes mili...... Kaise...???
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Sasur ne di.
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Extraordinarily Student Teacher:
"Do you know
Avogadro's Number" ??
Pappu: "Avogadro Ladka Tha
Ya Ladki" ??
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Teacher: "Ladka" .
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Pappu: "Sorry Dude, Mai Ladko
Ke Number Nahi Rakhta" :p :O :D
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