STORY
VIDEOS
NON VEG
Fakeer to Santa:
Aapke Padosi ne Pet bhar ke khana khilaya hai..
Aap bhi kuch Khilao ?
.
.
Santa Sardar: Ye Lo Hajmola . . .!!!
1 
Two tailors having a chat..
1st tailor “Sardars are the best customers.
Always happy with their suit fittings.”
2nd tailor “And How is that so?”
1st Tailor:
“They come, try on the suit,
Go to the mirror,
Look in the mirror,
Check the turban (pagg)
Not the suit.
Press the Beard (dari).
Check Pagg once again.
&
Says
OK HAI
BILL KINA?
1
Sardar Ke Truck Ke Peechhe Likha Tha
“Chhota Pariwar Sukhi Pariwar”
Aur Uske Neeche..
.
.
Tinu, Minu, Chintu, Chinky, Pinky, Guddu, Guddi, Sonu, Monu,Te Sohan De Papa Di Gaddi…!!!!!
1
Wife: Aap bahut mote ho gaye ho.
Santa Sardar: Tum bhi toh kitni moti ho gayi ho,
Wife: Main toh maa banne wali hoon!
Santa Sardar: To pagal AAurat Main bhi toh baap banne wala hoon.
1
Ek Bar Ek Angrej India Ghumne Aya,
Ghumte Ghumte Punjab Ke Ek Gaanv Mein Pahuncha
Waha Use Santa Dikha To Usne Santa Se Puchha
Angrej: Kya Tumhare Gaanv Mein Koi Mahaan Aadmi Paida Hua Hai?
Santa Kuch Sochke Bola:
Nahi Ji, Idhar Sab Chote Bachhe Hi Paida Hote Hai
1
A Gujrati, a Madrasi and a Sardaar were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.
They were having lunch and Gujju opened his lunch box & said, “Dhokla! If I get dhokla one more time for lunch, I’m going to jump off this building.”
The Madrasi opened his lunch box and exclaimed, “Idli Sambhar again! IfI get idli sambhar one more time I’m going to jump off too.”
The Sardaar opened his lunch and said, “Parontha again! If I get a parontha one more time, I’m jumping too.”
The next day, the Gujju opened his lunch box, saw dhokla, and jumped to his death.
The Madrasi opened his lunch, saw idli sambhar, and jumped, too.
The Sardaar opened his lunch, saw the parontha and jumped to his death as well.
At the funeral, Gujju’s wife was weeping..
She said, “If I’d known how really tired he was of dhokla, I never would have given it to him again!”
The Madrasi’s wife also wept
and said, “I could have given him dossa!I didn’t realize he hated idli sambhar so much.”
Everyone turned and stared at the Santa Sardaar’s wife.
.
.
The Sardar’s wife said,
“Don’t look at me. He makes his own lunch.”
1
John, walked into a bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to a Sardarji at the bar and stared up at the TV.
The 10 pm news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The Sardarji looked at John and said, “Do you think he will jump ?”…
John said, “You know, I bet he will jump.”
The Sardarji replied, “Well, I bet he won’t.”
John placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, “You’re on !”
Just as the Sardarji placed his money on the bar, the guy on the ledge jumped off the building, falling to his death.
The Sardarji was very upset,but willingly handed his $20 to John, saying, “Fair is fair. Here’s your money.”
John replied, “I can’t take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 pm news, and so I knew he would jump.”
The Sardarji replied, “I did too, but didn’t think he would do it again.”
John took the money…!!
1
A Chinese man’s wife dies 1 year after marriage…
Santa Sardar tries to console Chinese but doesn’t know what to say..!!
Sardar : Hota hai yaar. Chinese thi, aur kitna chalti…
1
Exam me ek sawal aya ki
“Challenge” ka ek example likho
To sardarji ne pura paper khali choda aur last me likha
Asli baap ki aulad hai to pass karke dikha
1
Ek baar ek Chhote Sardar ka birthday tha.
Sardar ne candle bujhane ke liye phunk maari to uska paad (fart) nikal gaya…
Dobara phunk maari fir paad nikal gaya…
Sardar gusse mein ulta ghumkar bola…
‘Le tu hi bujha Le’
1
Santa Driving On D Wrong
Side Of One Way Road,
&
He Became Upset & Said,
Shit,
I Think I Am Late To
The Function,
All R Coming Back..
1
Santa Driving On D Wrong
Side Of One Way Road,
&
He Became Upset & Said,
Shit,
I Think I Am Late To
The Function,
All R Coming Back..
1
Teacher to Sardar : Tumne Home work Q nahi kiya.?
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.
.
.
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Deadly answer given by
Santa: Sir kyuki hum to ''Hostel'' me rahte hain..!
1
Banta Singh : “Yaar Santa, last year the name plate outside your house read Santa Singh, B.A. This year it reads Santa Singh, M.A.When did you finish your Masters Degree?”
Santa Singh : You don’t understand. Last year my wife died, I put B.A. to indicate “Bachelor Again”. Then I took a second wife, So M.A. is “Married Again”.
1
Banta Singh : “Yaar Santa, last year the name plate outside your house read Santa Singh, B.A. This year it reads Santa Singh, M.A.When did you finish your Masters Degree?”
Santa Singh : You don’t understand. Last year my wife died, I put B.A. to indicate “Bachelor Again”. Then I took a second wife, So M.A. is “Married Again”.
1
Banta: Sante tera restaurant kaisa Chal raha hai?
Santa: Koi Khas nahi.
Banta: Vaise main do bar tere restaurant Aaya, Par wahan pe tala laga hua tha.
Santa : yaar tu lunch ya dinner ke time Aaya hoga.. Uss time humlog khana khane Ghar jate hai
1
Santa- "Pados mein kya chal raha he?
Banta- "Birthday hai"
Santa- "Kiska?"
Banta- "Tuyu ka.
"Santa ne puchha, "Tuyu?"
Banta- "Hana! Sunai to kuchh aisa hi de rahahai... - Happy Birthday Tuyu!
1
"I have a bad headache. I'll visit the doctor, said Santa.
Banta, "Nonsense, yesterday I had a headache, I dashed home, gave a big kiss to my wife and the pain disappeared. Why do not you try it?".
Santa said, "Good idea, call up your wife and tell her I'll be right over."
1
Banta bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from amritsar, where he lived, to Jalandhar to meet his friend.He reached Jalandhar in a few hours.
After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in evening. But he did not reach Amritsar that evening and not even the next day.
when he finally reached home on the third day,
his distraught mother ran out, hugged him and asked, "Arre puttar, ki hoya?"
Banta got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said,"Oye, ye Mruti waale paagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, aur piche jaan waaste sirf ik."
1
Banta went to see the movie Jurassic Park, which was running to packed houses in Chandigarh. One of the shots showed the dinosaurs running directly towards the audience and Banta lowered in his seat.
Seeing his state, his friend, Santa asked, \"Kyon, kya baat hai? Dar kyoun lag raha hai? Cinema hi hai.\"
Banta replied, \"AAdmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai...lekin voh to jaanwar hai, usko kya kya pata!\"
1
Having lost his donkey, Santa got down to his knees and started thanking God.
A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?"
Santa replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I was not riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."
1
Santa ne “Live Radio Station” call ki : Hello.. ji ye Radio station hai ?
RJ: ji Haan
Santa: Meri awaaz pura shehar sun raha hai ?
R.J: Haan
Santa: Yani ghar mein jo meri biwi Radio sunn rahi hai.. wo Bhi sun rahi hogi..?
R.J (Gusse me) : Haaan bhai haan..!!
Santa: Hello Banto! Agar meri aawaz sun rahi hai.. toh jaldi se Motor chala de…!
Main uper chhat par bathroom mein hoon aur tanki mein Paani khatam ho gaya hai…!!
1
Santa 2 cigarettes ek saath peeta thaa.
Banto (Santa’s Wife): Ek sath 2 cigarette kyon peete ho?
Santa: Dost kee yaad aati hai na … ek meri hoti hai aur ek mere dost kee…
Kuchh dino baad Santa ek hi cigarette peene laga…
Banto ne poochha – Dost ko bhool gaye kya?
Santa : Nahin Pagli, maine cigarette peena chhod diya hai!!
1
Santa: What do you want to become in your next life?
Banta: A cockroach.
Santa: Why?
Banta: Kyun ki meri wife sirf cockroach se hi darti hai.
1
Santa- Madam Me Toilet Jaun ,
Mam- Nai Pehle Abc Sunao Fir Jana,
Santa- Abcdefghijklmn__ __qrs__uvwx__z
Mam- Ye Kya Gadhe, P,o,t,y Kahan Hai.
Santa- Madam Ji Chadhi Me.
1
Santa- kal meri shadi hai aur ladki walo ne kam log bulaye hai.
Banta- to isme prob kya hai?
Santa-pata nhi papa mujhe le jaynge ya nhi
1
santa aur banta k bich mai fight ho rahi thi
banta:- saale mai tere kapde phaad k tujhe naanga kar doonga
santa:- dekh serious ladai mai romantic baat mat kar
1
SANTA:Lalaji dettol soap hai,
Lala:ha, santa:acha vala hai,
Lala:ha,
Santa: achi quality ka hai,
Lala:ha bhai ha,
Santa: thik hai hath dhokr 1kg aata do.
1
Santa: oye banta machli khayega?
Banta: nhi yaar usme kaante hote hain.
Santa: oye chadd yaar, chappal pahen ke kha lena.
1
Santa Ko Beta Hua. Use Jyotish Ke Pass Le Gaye
Jyotish:Ye Jiska Naam Pehle Bolega Wo mar Jyega Baccha Bola "PAPA" Aur Dusre Din Padosi Mar Gya
1
Jaj : Suna hai pichale 10 saal se tmne apni biwi ko dara dhamka k rakha hai.
Santa : Par Janab Jaj : Safai ki jarurat nahi bas itna batao ye tumne kiya kaise
1
Santa: Sharab pite pite rone laga
Banta: Kya hua kyo ro rahe ho?
Santa: Yaar ki kara jis ladki ko bhulane k liye pi raha tha,uska naam yaad nhi aa raha hai
1
santa 2 doctor-apne kaha tha ki subah khelne se sehat thik rehti hai pr muje to koi fark nai pada?
doctor-konsa game khelteho?
santa-mobile mai snake wala
1
santa=mere padosi ka bacha gum ho gaya
banta=fir kya kiya?
santa=maine kaha google pe search karlo, mil jaye to download kr lena.
1
Banta Cigratte pe 2 metre pipe laga kr pe raha tha.
Santa : Tu pipe laga kar cig Q pe raha hai
Banta : Doctor ne kaha, Cig-Bidi se dur rehna.
1
Santa pe bijli ka taar gir gaya.
Santa tarap tarap k marne hi wala tha ki use yaad aya ki bijli to 2 din se band hai....
1
santa;mujhe us ladki se bachao
banta:kyo?
santa:jabse maine kaha dil cheer k dekh tera hi naam hoga sali chaku leke piche pad gyi hai
1
Banta: Pareshan lag rahe ho.
Santa: Yaar baap ban ne wala hu.
Banta: Yeh to khushi ki baat hai.
Santa: Lekin biwi ko nhi pata
1
Shopkeeper: This sweater's made of pure virgin wool sir.
Santa: You see I m not interested in the morals of the sheep.Just tell me, will it keep me warm?
1
Santa ki chatri me hole tha, kisine pucha, umbrella mai hole kyu?
Santa bola: Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega.
1
Humor is not only fun but healthy too! Heart attack is shown to be less likely to happen for people who have an active sense of humor or who laugh much. Huge collection of funny stuff & fully sayings- Santa banta jokes, santa banta jokes in punjabi, short, new, latest santabanta jokes.
1
Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeep! er asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?
1
Santa invested 2 Lakhs in a business and suffered huge Losses.
Do u know what the business was?
He opened a Saloon in Punjab!
1
Santa was standing below a tube light with mouth wide open.........
WHY?
Because his doctor advised him "Today's dinner should be light".
1
Professor Banta asked a plumber to come to his college.
U know why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...
1
A street dog was chasing Santa and he was laughing.
A bystander: why are u laughing?
Santa: I have an Airtel phone, but still Hutch network is following me.
1
The Teacher asked all the students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except Banta. He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
1
Photographer Santa was focusing on the dead body's face in a funeral function.
Suddenly all the relatives started beating him - why? He said "SMILE PLEASE"
1
Santa at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call Modern art?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror!
1
Santa had a dream in which someone murdered him.
Next day he closed his bank account. Know why?
Because the bank's slogan was: We make your dreams come true...
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