STORY
VIDEOS
NON VEG
A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Rahul Gandhi fans. Not really knowing what a Rahul Gandhi fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for little Johnny. The teacher asked little Johnny why he has decided to be different… again. Little Johnny said, “Because I’m not a Rahul Gandhi fan.” The teacher asked, “Why aren’t you a fan of Rahul Gandhi?” Johnny said, “Because I’m a BJP supporter.” The teacher asked him why he was a BJP supporter. Little Johnny answered, “Well, my mom is a BJP supporter and my Dad is a BJP supporter, so I am a BJP supporter.”
Annoyed by the answer, the teacher asked, “If your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?”
With a big smile, little Johnny replied, “That would make me a Rahul Gandhi fan.”
1 
Rahul Gandhi walks in to a barber shop to get his hair cut, Soon after Narendra Modi walks in to get his hair cut. The barbers set to work cutting there hair not talking because they didn’t want to start a political debate.
When the barber finished with Rahul Gandhi’s hair he asked “would you like some cologne?” Rahul Gandhi said “no thank you, my Mom will think I’ve been in a whore house.” The other barber asks Modi the same question to which he replies, “Sure, my Mom doesn’t know what a whore house smells like.”
1
Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake.
The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, “I can’t understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We?re the same age; We were the
same size as kids. I just don?t get it.”
“Well, ” said the big Croc, “What have you been eating?”
“Politicians, same as you, ” replied the small Croc.
“Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?”
“Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the Congress Office.”
“Same here. Hmm. How do you catch the m?”
“Well, I crawl up under one of their official cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the sh*t out of them and eat ?em!”
“Ah!” says the big Crocodile, “I think I see your problem. You?re not getting any real nourishment. See, by the time you finish shaking the sh*t out of a Congress Politician, there?s nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase.”
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Ek Aadmi ne Fish pakdi
ghar aaya to dekha
Na Gas
Na Aata
Na Bijli
Na Oil
admi vapas Fish ko nadi me fek aaya.
Fish chillai Congress PARTI zindabad zindabad..!
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I don't know what was wrong with my television last night, but I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station, and I actually bought a congressman.
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Statistics have proven that the surest way to get anything out of the public mind and never hear of it again is to have a Senate Committee appointed to look into it.
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With Congress, every time they make a joke it’s a law, and every time they make a law it’s a joke.
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पापा, बाज़ार बंद हैं, भारत बंद है, पुतले जल रहे हैं"
"हाँ बेटे, सरकार के काम से देश डर रहा है तभी लोग जुड़ रहे हैं |"
"पापा, सरकार देश का नहीं सुनती"
"हाँ बेटे, नहीं सुनती |यह सरकार देश की नहीं कांग्रेस की है |"
"पापा, कांग्रेस किसकी है"
"बेटे, एक खानदान की है | वह हवेली ही पी एम तक चुनती है | हुकुम देती है | सारा देश उसका मगर वह देश की नहीं |"
"पापा, यह कैसा लोकतंत्र है"
"बेटे, यह वंशवादी लोकतंत्र है जिसे अभी खुद राजमाता और युवराज संभाल रहे हैं"
"ऐसा कब तक रहेगा पापा"
"आज़ादी के लिए जनता की जंग और उसमे फतह मिलने तक | अभी उनका राज भुगतो जिसके पुरखे को अंग्रेज गद्दी सौंप गए"
"पापा, बंद का असर कुछ सरकार पर होगा"
"नहीं होगा , उस पर सिर्फ हवेली का असर होता है |"
"सच पापा"
"हाँ बेटे"
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What a lovely
National
Combination.
A Hindu
President,
A Muslim
Vice President,
A Sikh
Prime Minister,
Christian
Defence Minister,
With
Italian Remote.
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आज सुबह निमोनिया गाँधी ने जब अपना फ्रिज खोला तो उसमे आउल गाँधी बैठा था ...
अरे यहाँ क्या कर रहे हों बेटा ??
मम्मी आप ने ही तो कहा था कि अब रिटेल मे एफडीआई पर ठंडे दिमाग से सोचना पडेगा !!!
1
What a lovely
National
Combination.
A Hindu
President,
A Muslim
Vice President,
A Sikh
Prime Minister,
Christian
Defence Minister,
With
Italian Remote.
1
Guard enters Sonia Gandhi's office -
"Madam aapka MMS aaya hai !!"
Sonia Gandhi- Ohh NO !!
Man Mohan Singh enters :
"kamino mera poora naam liya karo."..
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Dollar on escalator...
Rupee on ventilator...
Nation on ICU...
We are in coma...
Sonia in honeymoon...
Onion in showroom...
God bless India...
1
Dollar on escalator...
Rupee on ventilator...
Nation on ICU...
We are in coma...
Sonia in honeymoon...
Onion in showroom...
God bless India...
1
Wife of Kejriwal ask about Morning Would you like to have Tea?
Angry Kejriwal "How much money you got from Modi'?
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Arvind Kejriwal is the 2nd fastest person to become CM, from date of joining politics.
1st is Anil Kapoor in Nayak.
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राहुल बाबा यूपी के एक स्कूल मे "नौटंकी विजिट" पर गए ..
बच्चो से पूछा टीचर कहा है ?
बच्चे - टीचर तो कभी आते ही नही है ..
राहुल - फिर स्कूल कैसे चलता है ?
बच्चे - जैसे आप देश चला रहे है !!
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प्रियंका वाड्रा के बेटे से पूछा गया-तुमने प्यासी चुड़ैल फिल्म देखी?
उसने कहा ऩही उसे देखकर नानी याद आ जाती है!!!
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Now the Entire Team of Nirma Ad in Parliament 2014
Hema
REkha
Jaya Aur
Sushma
Sabki Pasand Nirma
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नाई एवं कान्ग्रेसी
संसद भवन के नाई ने बाल काटते वक्त कपिल सिब्बल से पूछा साब स्विस बैंक का क्या मामला है ?
सिब्बल चिल्लाया- अबै तू बाल काट रहा है या इन्क्वारी कर रहा है ?
नाई बोला वैसे ही पूछ लिया।
अगले दिन नाई ने प्रणब से पूछा साब ये काला धन क्या होता है ?
प्रणब ने कहा तू ये क्यूं पूछ रहा है?
नाई बोला साब वैसे ही पूछ लिया।
अगले दिन सी बी आई ने नाई को उठा लिया
पूछा कि तू आर एस एस का आदमी है या रामदेव का जो तूने ऐसे सबाल काग्रेसी नेताओं से पूछे।
नाई बोला साब काले धन व स्विस बैंक का नाम लेते ही काग्रेसियों के बाल खडे हो जाते है और मेरा बाल काटने का काम आसान हो जाता है
1
Beni babu: Once Upon a time, I brought up Grocery, Milk, Sabji and Breakfast...
Rahul: Now It is not possible for, Now fixed CCTV Camera there.
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सचिन पायलट सोनिया से - मैडम मेरे पास M.B.A की डिग्री है
"पास में बैठकर अहमद पटेल के लैपटाँप से पोगो देखते हुए राहुल गाँधी बोले-
तो OLX पर बेच डाल ना पगले!!
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Sushma swaraj is the first married Indian women who is being congratulated for having external affairs..
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राहुल गाँधी एक समझदार नेता है ।
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नीचे क्या देख रहे हो ? चुटकुला ऊपर ही खत्म हो गया था दोस्त..
1
क्या संजोग है !!
राष्ट्रपति - हिन्दू
उप राष्ट्रपति - मुस्लिम
प्रधान मंत्री - सिख
रक्षामंत्री - ईसाई
हिन्दू मुस्लिम सिख ईसाई
सबको नचाती इतालियन बाई
1
Knock
Knock
"Who's There ?"
"Gandhi"
"Gandhi Who ??"
"Rahul Gandhi"
"Bhai Khana Khatam Ho
Gaya Hai, Kal aana" !!
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A new trend of shortening names has begun in politics. Narendra Modi is called "Namo" and Rahul Gandhi is called "RaGa".
Harish Goyal and Mukesh Tomar have decided to quit politics.
Supriya Sule did not respond to our queries lolz
1
First Mistake of Modi.
Putting Uma Bharti in charge of cleaning the Ganga, when we have Hema Malini, the leading expert on Kent Water Purifiers..!!
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India ki janta se meri vinanti hai ke kripya acche dino ke liye dhairya rakhe !!!
aap ne pradhanmantri chune hai -- jadoogar nai !!!
Narendra Modi !!
1
Modi Ji
Kiraya Chahe 14% bhadao
Ya 20%
.
Bas har dibbe mein mobile ko Charge karne ki
Or Wi-Fi ki suvidha ka Intzaam kar dijiye
Wo bhi free mein
.
Fir dekhte hain ki kon aapka virodh karta hai
1
Mayavati: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Mayavati ka Funny beta: Haan mami, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.
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Mayawati apne friend Lalu ke ghar GOAT le ke jati hai..
Lalu: E Bhaiswa ko kyun Layi ho ?
Mayawati: Dikhta nahi, Goatwa hai
Funny Lalu: Hum Goatwa se hi Puch raha Hun..!!
1
Train me laloo ne apna trunk upar samaan rakhne vali jagah par rakh diya.
Neeche Mayavati baithi thi.
Mayawati: Lalooji, apna samman kahi or rakho, mere sirr pe gir jaega.
Funny Lalu: Koi baat nahi behanji, iss me tutne vali koi cheez nahi hai.
1
Lalu to Rabri: Agar tum batao ki is bag ke andar kya hai,
to sare eggs tumare, agar batao kitne eggs to 8 ke 8 tumare,
aur agar tum bata do ke ande kiske hain to vo murgi bhi tumari.
Rabri: Lalu Ji, Koi hint do na?
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Barkha Dutt: Laloo Ji, hamare desh mein divorce ke cases badte hi ja rahe hain.
Aapko kya sochte ho, iska main karan kya hai.
Funny Laloo: Shaadi.
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Funny Laloo ji 18 guards ko le kar film dekhne jate hain. Pucho to kiyun?
Because below 18 was not allowed.
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Ik bar Laloo ji cykil chala rahe the, ke achanak sykil Ik girl se takra gayi
Girl shouted: Sala ghanti nahi maar sakta tha!
Funny Laloo: Behanji, poori sykil to maar di, ab ghanti alag se maroon ?
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Lalu: Hamari beti bohut fast english bolat hai.
Mayawati: Kya proof hai?
Lalu: Abhi doodh ka doodh aur paani ka paani ho jayega.
Mayawati: Haan, mein bhi to jara dekhu...
Lalu: Beti, jara english bolke dikha...
Lalu ki Ladki: english english english english english...
1
A man walks into a scientist’s lab looking to buy a new brain. He asks the scientist how much the brains cost.
The scientist says, “Well first we have a normal human brain, it costs $1000, next we have a scientist’s brain, it costs $5000, and then we come to a politician’s, it costs $10,000.”
“How come the politician’s brain costs so much?”, asks the man.
The scientist replies, “Because it’s never been used.”
1
Bush: Osama mile toh use fod do..
Gandhi: Hinsa achi baat nhi, use chhod do..
Einstein: Samay rukta nhi, to use mod do..
Manmohan: theek hai!
Sonia: desh k liye mujhe vote do..
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Biceps build karne ke liye uspar load do..
Bill Gates: Windows unlock karne k liye use code do!
Rajnikanth: oye admin ! mere kaarname duniya ke samne lana chhod do
And the best one
..ACP Praduman: Daya, khooni andar hai, main kehta hu darwaza tod do..
1
Laloo to his P.A.: Itne khiladi kyun football ko laat maar rahe hai?
P.A.: Goal kar ne k liye.
Laloo: Susra, ball toh pahle se hi gol hai aur kitna gol karenge!
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Mr .Laloo Prasad Yadav was sitting with his Ministers examining mail.
Suddenly Mr. Laloo cried out, “Look at this letter! It is addressed to the stupidest man in Bihar”.
His ministers tried to calm him by saying, “How dare a man address such a letter to you?”
Mr. Laloo replied sadly, “This does not bother me, but why did the postman deliver it at the right address?”
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Bush: Tujhe swimming aati hai?Laaloo: No!
Bush:Tere se kutta acha hai jo swim kar leta hai.Laaloo: Tujhe aati hai?
Bush:Haan!Laaloo: Fir tere mein aur kutte mein kya farak hai…
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Mr .Laloo Prasad Yadav was sitting with his Ministers examining mail.
Suddenly Mr. Laloo cried out, “Look at this letter! It is addressed to the stupidest man in Bihar”.
His ministers tried to calm him by saying, “How dare a man address such a letter to you?”
Mr. Laloo replied sadly, “This does not bother me, but why did the postman deliver it at the right address?”
1
Rabri Devi died and went to hell (as expected…)
As she stood in front of Yamraj, she saw a huge wall of clocks behind.
She asked, What are all those clocks?
Yamraj answered, Those are Lie Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move.
Rabri : “Oh”, Who’s clock is that?
Yamraj : âThat’s Gautam Buddha’s. The hands have never moved indicating that he never told a lie.
Rabri : And whose clock is that?
Yamraj : That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have only moved twice, telling us that Abraham only told 2 lies in his entire life.
Rabri : Where’s my Laloo’s clock?
Yamraj : Laloo’s clock is in my office, I’m using it as ceiling fan.
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Devils went to Court to Prove
that he is The Most,
Cruel & wicked Guy on Earth.
But he Failed, He Came Out Angrily & Asked,
Yaar ye “ALTAF BHAI‚ kon hai?
1
“For 0ur Leader”
A LEADER Must
Also be Able To Follow
And
If A LEADER Cannot
Follow Than That LEADER
Is Equal To Pharaoh … !!!
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Dear Politician,
This Is Just To Inform
You That I Am Also
Available In The Colour
White. . .
Sincerely,
Black Money … =P =D
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Reporter to Sonia Gandhi : “Government kaise chalti hai?
”Sonia Gandhi : “Government 3 chijo se chalti hai.
”Corruption
Corruption
AurCorruption
Aur Mai corruption hu .
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Bad officials
are elected
by
good citizens
who do not vote.
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