STORY
VIDEOS
NON VEG
Gang of SARDARS broke a Bank.
Instead of cash they found Botles full of Chilled Red Wine,
Happily they drank & went away.
Next day Headline aai: Blood Bank lutya gya.
1 
New way of writing answers in exams.
If you don’t know the answer,
then put lines like this :
||||||||||
and write below :
“Scratch here for the ANSWER”
1
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?”
The man below says: “Yes, you’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.”
“You must work in Information Technology,” says the balloonist.
“I do” replies the man. “How did you know?”
“Well,” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but it’s of no use to anyone.”
The man below replies, “You must work in management.”
“I do” replies the balloonist, “But how’d you know?”
“Well”, says the man, “you don’t know where you are, or where you’re going, you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”
1
Sita ji k vanvaas jaane mein bahut badi seekh hai.
Wah wah…
Sita ji k vanvaas jaane mein bahut badi seekh hai..
arey aage to kaho….
Ghar me 3-3 saas ho to jungle hi theek hai!!
1
Beggar: Give me some food
Man: I will give you Vodka
Beggar: I don’t drink
Man: I will give you Cigarette
Beggar: I don’t Smoke
Man: I will take you to the horse races
Beggar: I don’t Gamble
Man: I will get you a Girlfriend
Beggar: No, I love my wife only
Man: Ok, I will give you food, but first you have to come to my house
Beggar: Why??
Man: I want my wife to see What state people get into when they don’t drink, smoke or gamble and only love their wife…
1
Train mein TT Sadhu se bola : Kahan jana hai?
Sadhu : Jahan Ram ka janam hua tha… Ayodhya
TT : Ticket hai?
Sadhu : Nahin
TT : Chalo
Sadhu : Kahan?
TT : Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha.. Jail mein.
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Ladka: I love you <3
Ladki: Sorry, Main kisi aur se pyar karti hoon…
Ladka udas ho gaya
Fir achanak bhagne laga aur bola
.
.
.
Teri mummy ko bataunga …
.
.
Ladki: Ruk ja kamine, Main to mazaak kar rahi thi… I love you too
1
Put your wife in a room and lock it.
Put your dog in another room and lock it !!!
Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours and see who is 'Happy' to see you, and who will 'BITE' you !
(You are advised not to try this at home as these stunts were performed by professionals who are now divorced and living happily with their dog)
Don't laugh loud... the extended version says...
Put your husband in a room and lock it.
Put your dog in another room and lock it !!!
Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours and you will be happy to see your dog waiting for you but you be angry looking at your husband sleeping like he never slept before.
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** Karwachouth Special **
Wife said during Karwachouth : Chota mota hi sahi, par gold ka kuch la do.......
.
.
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Husband
"Ye le Choti gold flake" :-)
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एक छात्र ने गणित के अध्यापक से कहा - सर ! अंग्रेजी के अध्यापक तो अंग्रेजी में बातें करते है | आप भी गणित में बात क्यों नहीं करतें ? गणित अध्यापक - ज्यादा तीन पांच न कर फोरन नौ -दो ग्यारह हो जा , नहीं तो चार पांच रख दूगां तो छठी का दूध याद आ जाएगा |
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एक खूबसूरत लडकी बस स्टैंड पर खडी थी | एक नौजवान बोला- चांद तो रात में निकलता हैं , आज दिन में कैसे निकल आया ?
लडकी बोली - अरे उल्लू तो रात को बोलता था , आज दिन में कैसे बोल रहा हैं |
1
एक शराबी एयर पोर्ट के बाहर खडा था | एक वर्दीधारी युवक उधर से गुजरा |
शराबी बोला - अरे एक टैक्सी ले आ , युवक क्रोधित स्वर में बोला - अंधे हो क्या ? मैं पायलट हूं टैक्सी ड्राइवर नहीं |
शराबी - तो नाराज क्यों होते हो एक हवाई जहाज ही ले आओ |
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Boy 2 god- Hazaro ki kismat tere hath h,
Agr pass karde to kya bat h.
God-Galfrnds thodi kam patata to kya bat thi,
Kitabe to sari tere pass thi.
1
Jab reshma ki jawani ayi tab hum bachhe the
Ab shila ki jawani ayi to hum Bache wale hai
Uff ye Ladkiya sahi waqt pe jawan Kyu nahi hoti
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Boyfriend: Apne gharwalo ko chor diya tere liye,
Sab se rishta tod dya tere lye
Tune aj tak kiya kya h mere lye
Girlfriend: MUNNI BADNAAM HUI DARLING TERE LIYE.
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Larki: Main Kal Tum Se Milne Nahi Aa Sakti.
Larka: Chalo Mai Tumhara Gift Kisi Or
Ko De Deta Hun
Larki: Mera Matlab Tha Kal Nahi Aa Sakti
Abi Kahan Ho Tum?
1
A Man Writing In His Diary:
“I Am An Ideal Man.
I Don”t Smoke,
Drink Or Go To Night Clubs.
I Hv Always Been Loyal To My Wife
And Don”t Flirt Wid Strange Women.
I Sleep At Eight O”clock N Wake Up Early.
I Exercise Daily N Work Regular Hours
But All This Will Change As Soon As
I Get Out Of PRISON
1
Raju- loffer or offer me kya anter hai ?
Shyam- agar lakda i love u bole to loffer or
Lakdi i love u bole to offer
1
Lrka apni Girl Friend se:
Meri Bachi
Meri shonu
Meri Gurya
Mujh Se Shadi Kro Gi?
Bolo Baby
Girl:
Mujhe Perpose Kr raha hai Ya Godh le raha hai...
1
Shadi 1 Aisa Din Hai
Jb,
LARKA STAGE, Pr Apni Bv K 7 Betha hota hai
Dosri KHOBSORAT LARKION Ko Dekhta Hai
Or Sochta Hai
Ye Sb aaj Se Pehly KAHA THI YAR
1
Govt.Ne Elan Kiya Hai”All Beautiful Girls & Handsom Boys Personality Tax
Diya Karien Gey
Hans Lo Hans Lo
Tumhen Kya Faraq Parhta Hai
Phans To Hum Gye Na!
1
AAP KITNE B DUKH ME Q NA HO KOI NAHI DEKHTA
AaP JITNa RO LO KOI NAHI DEKHTA
PaR
PaR
EK din 'DATE' PE CHALE JAO
SALA PURA KHaANDaAN DEKH LETA HAI.:-
1
Bst joke frm signboard on elctric Boxes in India:
DANGER
11OOO Volts, TOUCHING dis wil lead to DEATH
Any1 found touching wil b jailed for 3 yrs.
1
Boy: I luv U Tum Duniya Ki Sbse Khubsurat Ldki Ho
Gal: Acha Par Tumhare Piche Mujhse Bi Zyada Khubsurat Ladki Khadi He
Boy Mud K Piche Dkhta H Par Waha Koi Nai Tha
Girl: Agr Tum Such Me Mujhse Pyar Krte To Kbhi Piche Na Dkhte
I hate u
MORAL:
Moral Woral Kuch Ni Bas Ldki Zara Tez Nikli
Par Msg Abi Baki H mere dost.
Boy: Chalo Jaisi Tumhari Marzi
Magar Ab Ye Diamond Ring Mai Kisko Dunga
Girl: LO.!! Ab M Apne Janu Se Mazak Bhi Nh Kar Sakti..
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Hum mohabbat wale,Aap husn wale.Hum dilwale, ap daulat wale. Hm sms krne wale, or ap kanjus Makkhichoos free me padh k muskurane wale...
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Saas ki demand-
Ladki khubsurat ho,
Ameer ho,
Padhi likhi ho,
Kam umar ho,
Ghar k kam kaj me mahir ho.
Ladki ki demand
Simple- saas photo me ho..
1
Mohabbat
ISHQ
Pyar
ye 3 Cheeze Har Tufaan ka Muqabla KR sakti hai
Magar Ek Cheez in Sab Ko Khatam Kar sakti hai
Aur Vo hai
Mummy Ki
Chappal.?
1
Principl-:Late Q hue?
boy:-bike khrab ho gyi thi. Principl:-Bus me ni aa skte the kya?
boy:-Mene kaha tha Sir,
par apki beti ke nakhre khatam ho tab na...;
1
Dekho Ab Shrmane Ki Zrurat Nahi,
Na Hi Kisi Se Drne Ki,
Sb K Samne Khul K iqrar Kro
K tum Mujh Se!
Tum Mujh Se!
Tum Mujh se!
Zyada
Kanjus ho..
1
Garmi Me kulfi ka Maza Ata Hai,
Thandi Me Coffee ka Maza Aata Hai,
Hum Waterfall ki Tarah sMs karte Hai,
Or
Aapka Riply Muncipalty k Pani ki Tarah Aata Hai...-
1
Samundar ke kinare par baithe hai
Kabhi to lehar aayegi..
Kismat badle na badle...
Kam se kam CHAPPAL TO DHUL JAYEGI.
1
Beta-papa me 150cc pulsar baike hi lunga aur koi nahi.
Baap-beta tu chahe 150cc ki pulsar le ya 350cc ki bullet,
pichha to tuzhe 100cc ki scoty ka hi karna h
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Boy: kal maine tumhaare ghar gaya tha. lagta hai hamaari shaadi nahi hogi.
girl: kyu? pappa se mile the kya?
Boy: nahi, tumhaare behan se milaa tha
1
Car chalaataa huaa Santa ko road mein "ACCIDENT ZONE" ka board dikhaa. isliye santa ne sochaa:
"Yeh log accident zone mein kyu road banaate hai?"
1
Beggar: 10 rupaiya dedo saab. girlfriend ko phone karni hai.
Saab ka girlfriend: dekho, bhikaari bhi apni girlfriend ko kitna pyar karta hai.
Beggar: nahi memsaab, use pyar karne ke baad hee main bhikaari ban gayaa
1
Patient: Doctor, yeh mera pehla operation hai. thoda dhyaan se karna.
Doctor: dara mat. yeh mera bhi pehla operation hai
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Pati: mere marne ke baad, kyaa tum doosri shaadi karogi?
Patni: nahi. main apni behan ki saath rahungi. aap?
Pati: main bhi tumhaare behan ke saath rahunga
1
Teacher: OXFORD matlab kya hai?
Student: OX matlab bail, FORD matlab Gaadi. to OXFORD matlab bail gaadi
1
Santa is asked to translate a phrase in english:
“Dukh Hamesha Naal Rehnde Ne Per Khushi Aundi Jandi Rehendi Hai.”
Santa Translated it as: My wife is always with me but her sister comes and goes.
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Sante Ne Blade De Naal Apni Girlfriend Da Naa Apne Hath Te Likheya
5 Minute Baad Jor Jor Di Ron Lageya.
Banta: Oh Kahnu Ronda Oye?
Santa: Maitho Spelling Galat Ho Gayi Naa Di…
1
Arz Karda Haan, Ohna Di Gali To Gujre
Taan Ohna Da Chobara Nazar Aaya,
Wah Ji Wah…
Ohda Baapu Bahar Aa Ke Boleya,
Hath Pair Tod Devanga, Je Fer Nazar Aaya…
1
Doctor: is dawaa ko ek hafte main poora karo aur baad main aake milo.
Patient: teek hai doctor
(ek hafte ke baad)
Doctor: dawaa khatam huaa kya?
Patient: nahi doctor.
Doctor: kyu nahi?
Patient: usme likhaa thaa ke, bottle ko hamesha bandh rakhe
1
Teacher: raju, tum kis liye college aate ho? , Student: vidya ke khaatir
Teacher: toh ab so kyu rahe ho? , Student: aaj vidya nahi aayi hai sir
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Tu sohni tera na sohni, par tu sohni ban ke na dikha saki,
sohni ta kache ghadde te v tarr ke aa gi C, Te tu Three Wheeler te vi na aa saki!!!
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Ik Darzi Lokan De Kappde Lai Ke Faraar Ho Geya
Koi Kehenda Meri Pant,
Koi Kehenda Meri Shirt,
Sante Ne Ronde Hoye Keha Ke Oh Mera Napa Lai Geya…
1
Pappu Paperan Ch Fail Ho Gaya, Es Gall Te Baapu Ne Keha, Apne Padosh Aali Kudi Nu Dekh, Class Ch First Aayi Hai.
Oh Baapu Ohnu Hi Taan Dekhta Si, Taan Hi Taan Fail Ho Gaya…
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Santa & Banta Saffar Te Ja Rhe See, Raste Wichoh Raat Ho Gye
Te Oh Tent Lga Ke So Gye,
Raat Nu Banta Di Akh Khuli
Ohne Santa Nu Jaga Ke Kiha Asman Wal Dekh Ke Dass Tainu Ki Nazar Aa
Riha Hai Santa Boliya Bhut Sare Sittare
Banta Is To Ki Patta Lagda Hai
Santa: Assman Bhut Hi Khubsurat Hai Te Roshni B Hai
Banta: Oye Kanjra, Koi Sada Tent Putt Ke Lai Gya Hai
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Ek Bache Di Nani Us Nu Sula Rahi C, Te Keh Rahi C Soja Degree Soja!
Tan Pdosan Ne Puchea Esnu Degree Kio Bula Rahi Hai
Tan Usne Keha,
Meri Kudi Chandigarh Degree Lain Gai C Aah Lai K Aa Gai…
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Ik Din Santa Mandir Gya, Lok Bhajan Ga Rhe C:
“Darshan De Gariban Nu, Darshan De Gariban Nu”…
Sante Di Nuh Da Na “Darshan Rani” Si, Santa Nu Gussa Aa Gya,
Te Oh Bhi Bhajan Gaaun Lagga, “Darshan Mere Munde Di Bahu,
Oh Ta Mere Munde Di Rhu , Baki Gal Nasiban Di, Evein Kiven Gariban Di”
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Customer: Mujhe phone per dhamkiya mill rahi hai.
Police: Kaun hai woh jo aapko dhamkiya de raha hai?
Customer: Telephone wale bolte hai ke, “Bill nahi bharoge toh kaat denge.”
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