STORY
VIDEOS
NON VEG
Sardar ne makhi ke legs tod kar kaha, Ja udd ja..
Lekin Makkhi nahi udi, Sr ne kaha..
“Aab to saabit ho gaya ki agar makkhi ke legs tod di jayeto makkhi sun nahi sakti!!!”
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Bhikhari-Babu ji roti melegi ?
Ander se avaj ai Bibi ghar per nahi hai .
Bhikhari-CHUMMA nahi manga sale roti mangi hai
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Bhikhari-Babu ji roti melegi ?
Ander se avaj ai Bibi ghar per nahi hai .
Bhikhari-CHUMMA nahi manga sale roti mangi hai
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A student called up his HOD, but got his wife instead on d call.
“He died last week.” she explained.
The next day the student called again n askd for the HOD..
“I told you” the wife replied, “He died last week.
”The next day he called again and asked to speak to HOD.By this time wife shouted,
“I-VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND,YOUR HOD, DIED LAST WEEK!WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING..”He replied laughing,“I just love hearing it”
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Boy: Tumhara NaamKya H?
Girl: Mina, Aur Tumhara?
Boy: Kamina
Girl: Jhut Mat Bolo
Boy: Tum 5mint PassBeth K Dakh Lo Tum IsiNaam Se Bulaogi.
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OFFICE ARITHMETIC.
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
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ALCOHOL contains FEMALE HORMONES
Proof:After drinking,men gain weight,
talk unnecessarily,
Become extra emotional,
Stop thinkin & start fightin over nothin
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Ladkiya paraya dhan hai, to ladke kya?Nahi pata kya?
Ek No. ke CHOR,jinki nazar hamesha paraye dhan par hi lagi hoti hai.
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Pappu :- Janu ab tum changeho gayi ho.GF :- Wo kyun ?Pappu :- Ab main tumhe KISSkarta hu to tum Eyes CloseNahi Karti.GF :- Haramkhor, Pichli BarClose ki thi to Mere Purse se100 Rs. Gayab The.
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Sardar Ji Aapko Kabhi Kisi Se Pyar Hua Hai ?Ha Yaar,Par Wo Manti Hi Nhi…Kya Kehti Hai… ?Kehti Hai,‘I LOVE U 2Pata Nhi Sala Ye Dusra Kaun Hai…..
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Wife= agr me kho jau, to tum kya krogehusband=me nirmal baba ke pas jaugawife=baba se kya kahogehusband=baba kirpa aani suru ho gyi h
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3 boys proposed a girl.1st:” Mai tmhare lye apni jaan de skta hu....Girl:” Wo to sab kehte hain....2nd:” Mai tmhare liye chand tare tor kar la sakta hu....Girl:” Purana dailouge hai.....3rd:” Main tumhari ACTIVA me Roz 1.ltr Petrol dalwaunga...Girl:” Ankho me ansu k sath Pagal itna chahta hai mujhe…
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Doctor ki shaadi kuch is tarah se honi chahiye….
MEHENDI ki jagah DETTOL solution istemal ho,BAARAT ambulance mein jaye,SHAADI hospital mein ho,PHOTO ki jagah X-ray liya jaye
Aur kya khoob ho agar KHANE me Vitamin C & B ki goli di jaye,MEHMANO ko CHAY ya Cold Drink ki jagah Glucose & ORS diya jaye,DULHAN ke gale mein haar ki jagah Stethoscope lagaya jaye,
Aur
maza to tab aye jab Doctor Shadi ke baad bole,“NEXT PLEASE”! :-D
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Larki ager 5 mins se zyada chup rahi
To bhai aik bat toh confirm hai
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Ke
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Bechari : ghungi hai :) :) :) :) :) :P
Dont mind girls just jock :P
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Ek SINDHI Haath Mein Blade Se Cut Maar Raha Tha.
Wife: Kya Kr Rahe Ho.
Sindhi Dettol Ki Sheeshi Foot Gyi Hai,
Aise Hi Thodi Waste Hone Denge.
La Teri Bhi Ungli Kaat Du.
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Man to Doctor: Every night my wife goes to a pub and sleeps with anyone who proposes to her!
Dr.: Relax, take a deep breath, calm down & now tell me..
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WHICH PUB?:p =D
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Call summary..
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Boy to boy=
00:00:59
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Boy to mom=
00:10:30
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Boy to dad= 00:02:36
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Boy to girl=
01:15:01
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Girl to girl=
00:29:59
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Girl to boy= 00:00:05..:p :O:D :D
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1st Friend:"chup raho dekho ghar se phone
hai..
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2nd Friend:"arre Zara beer ke bottle toh sarka
idhar..
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3rd friend:"tune jo cigrat di wo khatam ho
gayi
dusri de..
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4th Friend:"(in female voice) januuu yaha aao
na
plz aaaaooo naaa...:* :D .
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5th Friend:"aaahhh aaahhhh
ummmmhhhh..:p :D :O Hit Likè for kaminey
Friends...:))
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Girls are so intelligent...! ! ;)
Pizza boy : Mam kitne piece krun pizza ke 6 or 8???
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Girl : 6 hi kardo 8 to me kha nahi paungi :) :O :P :D
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Ustaad Fursat Fatte Haal Khan Ji Ne Rote Hue Ek Din Arz Kiya.
Hamare To Sare Khawab Usi Din Choor-Choor Ho Gaye,
Hamare To Sare Khawab Usi Din Choor-Choor Ho Gaye,
Aye Doston,
Jab Wo Ghar Aayi To,
Mummy Boli: “Jao Beta Didi Ke Liye Paani Le Aao“
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एक लडका अपने अनपढ पिता से -" पिताजी- हिमालय कहाँ है?"
पिता- "बेटा अपनी माँ से पुछो , तुम्हारी माँ सारे सामान इधर के उधर रख देती है"
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santa aur banta k bich mai fight ho rahi thi
banta:- saale mai tere kapde phaad k tujhe naanga kar doonga
santa:- dekh serious ladai mai romantic baat mat kar
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Santa- kal meri shadi hai aur ladki walo ne kam log bulaye hai.
Banta- to isme prob kya hai?
Santa-pata nhi papa mujhe le jaynge ya nhi
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Patient: Doctor, yeh mera pehla operation hai. thoda dhyaan se karna.
Doctor: dara mat. yeh mera bhi pehla operation hai
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Doctor: is dawaa ko ek hafte main poora karo aur baad main aake milo.
Patient: teek hai doctor
(ek hafte ke baad)
Doctor: dawaa khatam huaa kya?
Patient: nahi doctor.
Doctor: kyu nahi?
Patient: usme likhaa thaa ke, bottle ko hamesha bandh rakhe
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Doctor: aap dariye mat. main hoo na.
Patient: wahi mera sabse bada dar hai doctor.
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1st wife: tumhaara sharaabi pati roz peekar ghar aata hai na. tum poochti kyu nahi ho.
2nd wife: main poochi thi. lekin unhone mujhe diyaa nahi.
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Teacher: raju, tum kis liye college aate ho?
Student: vidya ke khaatir
Teacher: toh ab so kyu rahe ho?
Student: aaj vidya nahi aayi hai sir
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नौकरानी!
जज : आपको अपनी सफाई में क्या कहना है?
महिला : मैं क्या कह सकती हूँ, मेरे यहाँ सफाई नौकरानी करती है। इस विषय में तो वही कह सकती है।
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सजा-ए-मौत!
बीमा कंपनी के एक एजेंट से एक साहब ने पूछा- यदि मैं अपनी पत्नी का बीमा कराऊँ और कल वह मर जाए तो मुझे क्या मिलेगा?
बीमा एजेंट ने बड़े इत्मीनान से उत्तर दिया- जेल या फाँसी।
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Agr aap koi exam me fail ho
jao to ...................
Mom ; aur gum to dekh liya na
bol rhi pad pad .
dad ; kl se job pe lg ja .
pdosi ; y to kbi pdta hi tha to fail hi
hoga na .
Par wo tin bat dil jit leti h
friends : are yar tu bi ???
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Sabjiwale ki Shadi hui...
SUHAG RAAT ko Biwi ke upar Pani Chidkne
laga..!!
Wife: Kya kr rahe ho..??
Sabjiwala: MAAL Taza Kr Raha hu... : P
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दिल्ली मेट्रो मेँ एक लडकी लिपिस्टिक
लगा रही थी, .
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. तभी उसने बगल मेँ बैठे लडके को थप्पड मारा, .
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. सोँचो क्यो?
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. क्योँकि जब लडकी लिपिस्टिक
लगा रही थी तो लङके का फोन बजा,
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. "तू लगावेली जब Lipistic, हिलेला सारा Distik "
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Drinkers Movies Banate Toh-
1) Soda Akbar
2) Rab Ne Pila Di Thodi
3) Rum De Basanti
4) Hum Tight Ho Chuke Sanam
5) Beer Zaara
6) Bewde Zameen Par.
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Cool facebook status:
I respect all those who hate me…
Becoz my middle finger rises up 2 salute them!!!
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3 biggest lies:
1) Bhai kal pakka paise de dunga.
1) Papa exam to ekdum badhiya gaya.
2) Yaar jab tera phone aaya tab mobile silent pe tha.
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World Me Sabse Jyada Khush Log Bharat Me Hai
Har 2 Ghante Mein Khush Hote Hai
“Oyeeeeeee Light Aa Gayi”
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Ek bhikhari bheekh mangne ke liye masjid ke bahar baitha tha. Sab namaazi aankh bacha kar chale gaye aur usko kuchh na mila..
Wo phir church gaya..
Phir mandir aur phir gurudware..
Lekin usko kisi ne kuchh na diya..
Aakhir me ek beer bar ke baahar aakar baith gaya..
Jo bhi sharabi baahar nikalta woh uske katore mein kuchh daal deta
Uska katora paison se bhar gaya...
Faqeer bola :- "Waah re Prabhu" Rehte kahan ho aur address kahan ka dete ho..
Facebook Comment
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Ek Boodha ek ladki se takra gaya.
Boodhe ne ladki se bola: Sorry!
Ladki: Andha hai kya..... Dikhta nahi hai... Is umar mein bhi ye sab... Pata nahin kahan se aa jaate hain!!!
Yeh bolkar jaise hi woh ladki aage badhi, ek handsome sa ladka us se takra gaya.
Ladka: Sorry...
Ladki, sharmaate hue, "Koi baat nahin. it's okay!!!
Woh boodha yeh sab dekh raha tha. Usne aakar ladki se poochha: MERI SORRY KI SPELLING GALAT THI KYA??
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Bank mein customer ne cheque dete hue poochha ki "Madam yeh kitne dino mein clear ho jaayega"
Madam: Kam se kam do-teen din lagenge.
Customer: Lekin madam itna time kyon lagega? Jis bank ka cheque maine diya hai woh to saamne waali duilding mein hi hai.
Madam (Bade hi shaant swar mein) : Sir main aapko kaise samjhun, procedure to follow karna hi padta hai na. Maan leejiye ki aap shamshaan ke saamne hi mar jaate hain to ghar waale aapki laash ko ghar le jaayenge ya wahin saamne nipta denge. Boliye?
Customer behosh!
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Lali- Tumhe Pata Hai, Niyamit Jhapki Lene Se Budhapa Jaldi Nahi Aata.
Dali- Haa, Vishesh Tab Jhapki Le Jab Aap Highway Pe Gadi Chala Rahe Ho!
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Ek Bas Nahar Me Gir Gayi.
Police – Bas Kaise Giri.
Driver – Mujhe Nahi Pata.
Police – Kya?
Driver – Wo Aaj Conductor Nahi Aaya To Mai Piche Kiraya Lene Gaya Hua Tha.
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Ek Samachar Patra Me Chhapne Wale Saptahik Bhvishyavani Ki Bangi
Pehla Saptah – IS Hafte Aapke Jivan Me koi Anokhi Khushi Dastak Dene Wali Hai. Achanak Dhan Prapti Ke Bhi Yog Ban Rahe Hai. Pura Saptah Mouj Masti Me Gujrega. Swasthya Uttam Rahega.
Dusra Saptah – Is Saptah Aap Ek Nayi Aur Adbhut Shakti Apne Bhitar Mehsus Karenege. Vani Par Niyantran Rakhne Se Shatrupaksh Ki Parajay Sunischit Hai. Prem Ke Mamle Me bhagyashali Rahenge.
Tisra Saptah - Romance Ke Liye Yeh Samay Aapke Liye Shubh Rahega. Is Hafte Koi Sundari Aapke Jivan Me Pravesh Karne Wali Hai. Is Sundari Ka Sanidhya Aapke Liye Saflatao Ke Naye Dwar Khol Sakta Hai.
Choutha Saptah – Is Samay Aap Swayam Ko Thaga Mehsus Karenge. Aapko Achanak Abhash Hoga Ki Koi Lagatar Pichhle Tin Saptah Se Aapko Bewkoof Bana Raha Hai.
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Girl- Chalo Apna Apna Gift Vapas Karte Hai
Boy-Recharge Se Shuru Karte Hai……
…
Girl-Nahi Janu Mai To Majak Kar Rhi Thi.
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Ek Pagal Khali Paper Ko Baar-Baar Chum Raha Tha.
Dusra Pagal – Ye Kya Hai?
Pahla Pagal – Love Letter Hai.
Dusra Pagal – Magar Ye To Khali Hai.
Pahla Pagal – Aaj Kal Bolchal Band Hai.
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Ek baar Pappu Ne Ghadi Banane Wale Se Puchha:-
Is Ghadi Ko Thik Karne ka Kya Loge???
Ghadi Wala: Jitni Kimat Hai, Uska Aadha De Dena..
Agle Din Ghadi wale ne Pappu Se Jab Apna Mehnatana Maanga
to Pappu Ne Use 2 Thappad Maar Diye.
Ghadi Wala:- Yeh Kya Kiya Tumne??
Pappu:- Puchh Nahi, Jab Maine Ghdi Lene Ki Jid Ki Thi,
To Mere Pita Ji Ne Mujhe 4 Thappad Maare The.
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EK baar ek aadmi Bike pe sawar ho kar border paar kar raha tha aur uski pith pe ek bag tha..
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Border pe tainat sipahi ne usse puchha k is bag me kya hai.. ??
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Addmi:"iss bag me mitti hai..
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Sipahi ne thik se pura bag
check kiya par usko mitti k
siwa kuchh na mila...
usne us bike sawar ko jane diya..
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fir kuchh dino bad wo bike
sawar fir se aaya aur fir se
uske paas wohi bag tha...
sipahi ne fir check kiya par
iss baar bhi mitti ke siwa
kuchh na mila..
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iss tarah ye silsila 2 saal tak
chalta raha..
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2 saal me wo bike sawar bahut ameer ban gaya,,,
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ek din ek hotel me wo sipahi us bike sawar se mila aur pucha ki:"mujhe doubt hai ki tum kuchh na kuhch jaroor churate ho, mujhe bata do me kisi se bhi nahi kahuga..
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Bike sawar:"mai bikes ka chor hu:D mai to bikes churata tha.
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Santa was doing experiment with cockroach.
First he cut it’s one leg and told, “walk, walk”. Cockroach walked.
Then he cut it’s second leg and told the same. Cockroach walked.
Then cut the third leg and did the same.
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Once there was a competition conducted with Scientists from America, France and China… The Americans reported… “We crossed chickens with cows. And now the new breed simultaneously produces milk, meat and eggs” On this, Scientists from France came with report…”We crossed flies and bees. Now, the hybrid flies over the trash fields and produces honey”
Chinese gave others run for their money… they said…
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At a party, the host was getting worried because there were too many people and not enough refreshments… She was sure that not all of these had been invited but didn’t know how to tell which ones were the crashers…
Then her husband got an idea… he turned to the crowd of the guests and said: “will everyone from the bride’s side of the family stand up please?” about 20 people stood…
then he asked: “will everyone from the groom’s side of the family stand up please?” about 25 people stood up…
Then he smiled and said… “Will everyone who stood please LEAVE… This is a ‘Birthday Party’… !!”
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