STORY
VIDEOS
NON VEG
A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates, Ahead of him is a guy who s dressed in a loud shirt, leather jacket, jeans and wearing sunglasses. Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven." The guy replies, "I m Joe Cohen, taxi-driver, of New York City," Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi-driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."The taxi-driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it s the minister s turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary s for the last forty-three years." Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." "Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a taxi-driver and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be?" "Up here, we work results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept; while he drove, people prayed."
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"Doctor, I can t stop behaving like a dog.""How long have you been acting this way?" "Since I was a puppy!"
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Break-Up Ke Baad Aisa
Lagta Hai, Jaise
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Ke Saala Har Sad Song Apne Liye
Hi Likha Gaya....
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Husband: Tumhare Shaadi Se Pehle Kitne Boyfriend The??Wife silent...Husband Chilla Ke: Mein Iss Khamoshi Ka Kya Matlab Samjhun?Wife: Haaye Rabba... Gin Toh Rahi Hun.... Chilla Kyun Rahe Ho...
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Ek Aurat Apne Boyfriend Ke Saath Bazaar Mein Ghoom Rahi Thee Ki Tabhi Uska Pati Mila Gaya.Pati Ne Boyfriend Ko Peetna Shuru kar Diya.Aurat: Maaro Saaley Ko... Apni Biwi Ko Kabhi Ghumaane Le Jaata Nahi Aur Doosron Ki Biwion Ko Le Jaata Hai.Tabhi Boyfriend Ko Josh Aa Gaya Aur Woh Pati Ko Peetne Shuru Kar Deta Hai.Aurat: Maar Saale Ko !!! Khud Toh Kabhi Ghumaane Le Jaata Nahi Aur Doosron Ko Bhi Nahin Ghumaane Deta!!!
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Patni: Chalo Ek Khel Khelte Hain... Main Chhupti Hoon Aur Aap Mujhe Dhoondhna. Agar Aapne Dhoondh Liya Toh Main Aapke Saath Shopping Karne Chalungi.Pati: Aur Agar Nahin Dhoondh Paya Toh ?Patni: Aaisa Mat Kaho Jaanu...... Bas Darwaje Ke Peechhe Hee Chhupoongi ...!!!
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Police: Aapke Ghar Kee Talaashi Leni Hai !Santa: Kyon ?Police: Khabar Mili hai Ki Aapne Ek Khatarnaak Aatankwadi Ko apne Ghar Mein Rakhaa Hua Hai !Santa: Khabar Toh Ekdum Pakki Hai Inspector Saab... Par Aajkal woh Maayke Gayi Hui Hai !!!
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Boy: Tum Ladki Ho Ke Sharaab Peeti Ho???
Awesome reply by girl: Toh Kya 2-4 Peg Ke Liye Gender Change Karwaun ???
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Ek baar bhagwan neaadmi ki Memory clear
kar dali
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Aur poocha, kuch yaadaa raha hai kya?
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Aadmi- sirf biwi kanaam.........bhagwan hasa aur
bola: ''Format kiya par
abhi tak
virus nahi gaya...
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Teachr:-john ne raat ko khana khaya is ka Future Tens kya hoga......
Student :-"John subah ko uth kar potty karega.
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1 admi-eye operetion k badh.
Dr, mai nahi dekh sakta.
Dr ne nurs ke kapde utar diye.
Dr,bola-ab dikhta hai..
Admi-nahi.
Dr-madarchod fir land kaise khada ho gya.
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Modern zamaney ki ladki ka baap: Beti tum paheley mujhey papa kahey kar bolati thi ab dad keyo..
Beti:papa kaheny se ipstick kharab ho jati hai!
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1 Over Me Kitne Balls Feke Jate He
Kya Apne Kaha 6..
Galat Jawab 1 Over Me 1 Hi Ball 6Bar Feka Jata He.Bade Aye! Cricket K Shoukin.>
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Santa Banta Se- Yaar I-m Going Ka Kya Matlab Hota Hai Batao..
Banta - Mai Ja Raha Hu...!
Santa - Are Jate Jate Matlab To Batake Ja..
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MOM- Tujhko ladka pasand aaya..
BETI- Ladka to thik hai,par mota bahut hai.
MOM- Dekho beti,TV chaahe 14 inch ka ho ya 29 ka,remote toh 6 inch hi hota hai na.
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Modern zamaney ki ladki ka baap: Beti tum paheley mujhey papa kahey kar bolati thi ab dad keyo..
Beti:papa kaheny se ipstick kharab ho jati hai!
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Wife:kal 3 chor aye aur mera zordar rape kar k chale gaye
husband: tumne unhe roka nahi..Wife: bahut kaha rukne ko, bole ab aur takat nahi hai, kal phir ayenge!
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1 Over Me Kitne Balls Feke Jate He
Kya Apne Kaha 6..
Galat Jawab 1 Over Me 1 Hi Ball 6Bar Feka Jata He.Bade Aye! Cricket K Shoukin.
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Ek Tapori Ki Wife:Sunte ho Ji,apne chinku ne aaj pehla adha shabd bola Tapori:achcha, kya bola
Wife:behan
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father: kya hua beta q ro rhe ho kya hua tum mujhe batao main tumhare dost ki tarh hoon
Son:kya batau main apni wali se milne gaya tha to teri wali ne mujhe bhut mara
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Delhi ki sardi, U.P ki garmi, Mumbai ki barish, Patna ka coruption, kashmir ka terrorism, Africa ka saap aur chidiya ghar ke aap.. BAAP RE BAAP!!
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Ladke Wale-Humko Ladki Pasnd H,Shadi Kb Krni H
Ladki Wale-Abhi To Ldki Stdy Kr Rhi H
Ladke Wale-To Humra Ldka Kon Sa Baccha H Jo Kitab Faad Dega
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Sir-Birbal kon tha..
s-pata nehi
sir-parhai p dhaen do pata chal jaega
s-RAajj,gurav,rocky,OR SUraj kon he
sir-pata nehi,
s-bety p dyando pata chll jaega
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Tech:ladkei badi kab hote he..
Stu:jab wo bodish paherati he
Tech:or ladke bade kab hote he..
Stu:jab wo bodish utarta he
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q)what do we call if petrol is leaking frow a maruti car.. ... a) maruti SUSU.ki :-p
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1 aadmi ladies ward mi admit ho gaya.. nurse: tujhe sharm nahi aati.. Aadmi:sharm kaisi
hum to paida hi LADIES
ward me hue the
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Ladki subah subah apne bf ko call
karti he...
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Girl:
~ mela sona,
~ mela baby
~ mela pyala sa baby
~ mela cutu cutypie
~ mela good wala bacha
~ kya kal laha he mela bhondu
bacha?
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Bf : kitne paise chahie bol ?
subah subah maska mat maar.
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This is Super..
"Murgi aur Kauwa ki shadi fix ho gyi..."
Upset Murga murgi se bola- aakhir mujme kya kami thi... tumhari caste ka tha... us kauwa me aisa kya tha
Murgi boli ''Amma abba ki khwaish thi ki ladka airforce me hona chahiye''
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Rahul gandhi Gaon Ke Ek Ghar Me
Jaakar
Ek Aurat Se bola:
“Ab Hum Aa Gaye
Hai,
Ab VIKAS Hoga..
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Aurat:” Pichhli Baar Bhi Aapne Kaha
Tha,
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Par…
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PINKY Hui Thi..
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INDIA is a place where..
Anyone driving faster than you is..
"Saala yeh Pakka marega"
Anyone driving slower than you is
"Saala kutta, Gaadi Chalani nai aati
ise" !!
And
Anyone Driving Parallel to you is
"Apne Baap se Race Lagayega Tu.."
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In an Aeroplane, After 4-5 drinks,
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British- I will sleep now,
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American- I want to work on internet,
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German- I will watch movies now,
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Chinese- I will listen to music now,
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INDIAN- Aaj tera bhai plane chalayega,
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Ladkiya apne bf ka name phone
me kaise save karti
hai,
1. My luv
2. Sweetu
3. Darling
4. Swthrt
5. Honey baby
6. Jaanu
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Aur Husbands apni gf ka name aise
save karte hai,
1. Sonu halwai
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2. Rashid Plumber
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3. Bhola foji
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4. Sarpanch
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5. Hawaldar
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6. Bittu langda
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7. Pappu mistri
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8. Customer care
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9. Battery Low
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10. Kamina Padosi..
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11.kabadi wala.
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There was a meeting of Bihar state freedom fighters.
They wanted to free. Bihar from India.
Ram bhaiya raised a point…,
“We may take Bihar from India but how will we develop it?”
Shayam bhaiya had a brainwave. “No problem!
We will attack America,
we will lose the war
& USA will take us over…
Then we will become a State of USA & develop automatically…!
We will also become direct citizens of USA….
No more Visas & Green Cards.”
All the Bhaiyas were overjoyed with this solution…..,
but an old bhaiya was not.
Someone asked him why he wasn’t happy.
The old bhaiya replied,
“That’s all very well….,
But what would happen if by chance we won & took over America???
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Who said Alcohol is Harmful ???
– 2 Rounds Of Brandy
30 Minutes Before Meal , Helps Digestion.
– 1 Glass Of Beer After Waking Up, Helps Activate Internal Organs.
- 1 Round Of Scotch Whiskey Before Sleep , Avoids Heart Attacks.
- 1 Glass Of Wine Before Bath Reduces Blood Pressure.
- 2 Pegs Of Vodka Before Every Meeting, Helps Quick Decisions.
Pass It To All You Care.
Kindness Costs Nothing..!!!
CHEERS
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A very effective Dhamki by wife in new style:
Tum Jitna Time Facebook, Whatsapp, Twitter Ko Doge... Mein Utna Time Flipkart, Amazon, Snapdeal, Jabong, ebay ko dungi !!!
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Katrina ki coffee me ek machchar gira,
Usne wo pee li.
Machchar k baap ne kuch kaha aur
katrina behosh ho gayi...
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Usne kaha: Tumhare pet me mera bacha hai...
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Husband : mujheneend nahi aa rahi hai
Wife : jao jaakarbartan saaf kar do
Husband : neend mebol raha hun pagli..
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Ladka: I love u....Ladki ne zor sethappad maara,aur boli ..Kya kaha tune ??Ladke ne bhi ghuma kar2 zordaar chaanta maaraaur kaha.. : Sali...jab suna hi nahinto maara kyun !
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Who said car names don't have meaning
? FIAT: Failure in Italian Automotive Technology.
? FORD: For Only Rough Drivers.
? HYUNDAI: Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive....
?? VOLVO: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object.
?? PORSCHE: Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything.
? OPEL: Old People Enjoying Life
? TOYOTA: The One You Only Trust, Always.
?? HONDA: Hanged Over, Now Driving Away.
?? BMW: Big Money Waste
?AUDI : An unwanted debt invitation
?Mercedes: Maximum enthusiasm , recurring cost, ego developed, eagerness to sell
And d best..
?? MARUTI:.
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Made According to Roads & Users Typically Indian
?????
~?~???~?~?
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Wo Aankh badi hi pyari thi
Jo usne Humko maari thi,
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Hum to MUFT mai fida ho gaye
DOSTO
Humko kya pata tha ki unko,
Baba ramdev ki bimari thi..
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True Story
In Bed,its 6:00 Am,if U Close Ur
Eyes For 5 Mins,
Its Direct 7:45,
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But
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In Lecture Its 12:00,u Close Ur
Eyes For 5
Mins, Itz Stil 12:01 :'(
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True Story
In Bed,its 6:00 Am,if U Close Ur
Eyes For 5 Mins,
Its Direct 7:45,
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But
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In Lecture Its 12:00,u Close Ur
Eyes For 5
Mins, Itz Stil 12:01 :'(
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Everyone Mst Read
1 Sachhi Ghatna :-
Jise Soch Kar Insan Ki Ruh Tak Kaanp Jaayegi
Magar Zalimo K Hath Tak Nahi Kaanpe
Dehradun Me 17 Sal Ki Masoom Ladki,
Jisne Abhi 12th Pass Kiya Tha
Aur Abhi Jo Din Uske Enjoy Karne K The
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Uske Sage Baap Or Bhai Ne Behla Fusla Kr
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Usse Engineering Ka Form Bharwa Diya..
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Ek Newspaper Me Chhapa
Ki:"50%ladkiya Bewkoof Hoti Hai".
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Is Baat Par Ladkiyo Ne Khub Halla Machaya..
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Fir Next Day Jab Ye Chapa K"50%
Ladkiya Bewkoof Nahi Hoti".
Tab Jakar Ladkiya Shant Hui.
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Barsat Ki Raat,
Bhigi Ladki,
Bhiga Badan,
Bhige Hoth,
Bhigi Julfein,
Bhige Kapde,
Sundar Or Akeli
Use Dekhkar pappu ne bola:-
Ye Kal 100% Bimar Padegi.
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Bahu: Maaji, yeh abhi tak nahi aaye, kahi koi ladki ka chakkar toh nahi hai unke?
Maaji: Are Kambakht tu toh hamesha galat hi sochti hai, Ho sakta hai ke kisi truck ke niche aa gaya ho!
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Cow & Cat both are #Sisters..
Now you must be thinking ke kaise?
Jyada mat socho... :D
I'm telling you,
Cow Mata hoti hai
or
Billi Mousi
Bachpan se hi intelligent hoon...
Lekin kabhi Ghamand nahi kiya!!!
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Boy: tujhme mujhe maa nazar aati hai.
Girl: O tabhi tum mujhse itni baate karte ho ...
Boy: haan
Girl :tumhari maa mere jaisi dikhti hai ?
Boy: oye pagal mujhe mere hone wale bachcho ki maa
tujhme najar aati hai... :D lolll...
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4 boys on bike.. Police: Triple riding is banned aur tum 4 baithe ho.. ?? .
Boys shocked… . . . look behind.. . . . . . and says: Saalo 5wa kaha gir gaya.. ?? Jisne party deni thi..
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BULLET wala SCOOTY wali se:-
kabhi bullet chalai h??
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Girl tez krke aage nikalgai.
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Boy barabar me aakr: Kabhi bullet chalai
hai??
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. Girl slow ho gayi.
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Aage jakar boy ka accident ho gaya
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Girl:- Aur chala le bullet..
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. Boy:- kamini Bandariya yahi to puchraha
tha, chalai hai to bata de break kaise
lagate
hain...
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